Cpt. Boxershorts Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 (edited) EDIT: PLEASE NOTE THE XENOCIDE NAMES HAVE NOT BEEN DETERMINED YET FOR EVERY ITEM OR UNIT IN THE GAME, REFERENCES TO NAMES WHICH ARE THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF ATARI OR OTHER COMPANIES BY INDIVIDUAL PROJECT MEMBERS IS NOT CONDONED BY THE PROJECT AND THE PROJECT DOES NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR SUCH ACTIONS. INDIVIDUALS SHOULD REFER TO ENTRY NAMES AGREED TO BY THE PROJECT, AND IF SUCH A NAME DOES NOT YET EXIST THEY SHOULD USE A SUBSTITUTE IN [bRACKETS]. THANKS! Here ya go...have fun. (its actually been spell checked first) -The CaptainSnakeman_Autopsy.txt Edited February 24, 2004 by Breunor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miceless Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 Apart from the following, its very good. Our dissection of this creature has opened up many fascinating revelations.Im not so sure you can 'open up' a revelation. I could be wrong. Reword it somehow. Beneath its' tough, scaly skinLose the apostrophe. This hydrodynamic movement is very efficient, allowing a snakeman great speed and agility."... giving a snakeman great speed and agility."or"... allowing a snakeman to have great speed and agility." It also potentially allows a Snakeman to compress himself, potentially fitting into narrow tunnels or pipes.Repetition of 'potentially'. Another major skeletal difference is the arms, with only a single bone in the upper and lower arm.Is that one bone each or one bone for both? Clear that up maybe? ... with each vertebrae supporting ...'vertabra' is the singular. The most of internal organs of the specimen ..."Most of the ..." It seems this alien would not survive complete unconsciousness for long.Will that be reflected in gameplay? Be careful there. There does not seem to be any gender differences between any current specimens."There do not seem to be any gender differences between any of the current specimens." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j'ordos Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 (edited) ... with each vertebrae supporting ...'vertabra' is the singular. :o :o :o Your scheme of making the captain write a typo won't work here Commiceless, vertabra should be vertebra!! :wink: Edited August 14, 2003 by j'ordos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt. Boxershorts Posted August 14, 2003 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 Whew! Starting at the top.... Im not so sure you can 'open up' a revelation. I could be wrong. Reword it somehow. New Text: "...creature has led to many fascinating revelations." Lose the apostrophe. Lost. "... giving a snakeman great speed and agility."or"... allowing a snakeman to have great speed and agility." New Text: "... giving a snakeman great speed and agility." Repetition of 'potentially'. New Text: "It also can allow a Snakeman to compress himself significantly, potentially fitting into narrow tunnels or pipes." Is that one bone each or one bone for both? Clear that up maybe? New Text: "Another major skeletal difference is the arms, with only a single heavy bone in the lower arm." 'vertabra' is the singular. Fixed (with the proper spelling) "Most of the ..." Fixed. Will that be reflected in gameplay? Be careful there. Nope, just fluff text. On the other hand, if it makes the player panic trying to finish off the battle to save the captured snakemen, that's just a bonus. Mostly I was working off the UFOpaedia entry, which states that their circulatory system is part of the muscular system. Conversely, if they're paralyzed, no circulation. "There do not seem to be any gender differences between any of the current specimens." Fixed. Thanks for the proofreading! -The CaptainSnakeman_Autopsy.txt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancalagon Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 Beneath its' tough, scaly skin Lose the apostrophe. Uh, when someone has something, it has an apostrophe. i.e. bob's car, Kevin's bicycle etc. So instead of its' or its it should be it's. Unless that rule doesn't cout for "it". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt. Boxershorts Posted August 14, 2003 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 It doesn't apply..."it's" is a contaction for "it is". That always overrules the other rules. Annoying, isn't it? -The Captain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancalagon Posted August 14, 2003 Report Share Posted August 14, 2003 (edited) Yeah, but isn't bob's also a contraction of bob is? That's just wierd... :whatwhat: Edited August 14, 2003 by Ancalagon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt. Boxershorts Posted August 15, 2003 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2003 Not officially...while we might say "Bob's around the corner," it's gramatically incorrect. Technically, the phase means Bob is currently in possession of an "around the corner." -The Captain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred the Goat Posted August 15, 2003 Report Share Posted August 15, 2003 It doesn't apply..."it's" is a contaction for "it is". That always overrules the other rules. Annoying, isn't it? Yes! And I used to hate it, but now I know all the tricks and it's fun to be a smartass! Think of its like his or hers or theirs. Not officially...while we might say "Bob's around the corner," it's gramatically incorrect. Technically, the phase means Bob is currently in possession of an "around the corner." Okay, maybe not ALL the tricks. Really? That's incorrect? Or...uh...that is incorrect? I always thought it was a valid contraction, and Bob's truck was also a contraction, of, like, "Bob his truck" or something. Hmm...on to the text! ...muscles as we understand them. Instead, each major 'muscle' is actually a multi-chambered organ similar to the human heart. Each 'muscle' contains... Eck. Too many muscles. :monster: More muscle repeats, I won't quote them. ...rib that wraps entirely around the body. The ribs themselves completely enclose the body for almost the total length. The ribs... Maybe just go over the doc for "rib" and "muscle" use. Also, overuse of trios of hearts and lungs. This hydrodynamic movement This one is hard...already used hydraulic, but hydrodynamic is waterfalls and stuff. I'm not sure if it works here. I dunno. "This flow is very efficient"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancalagon Posted August 15, 2003 Report Share Posted August 15, 2003 (edited) What are you the repitition police?:uzzi: :link::link::link::plasma: QUOTE ...muscles as we understand them. Instead, each major 'muscle' is actually a multi-chambered organ similar to the human heart. Each 'muscle' contains...Eck. Too many muscles. More muscle repeats, I won't quote them. all you gave me was a link and I had to figure it out. Edit: no pun intended...........your gonna try and find it aren't you. Edited August 15, 2003 by Ancalagon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt. Boxershorts Posted August 20, 2003 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2003 Sorry it took so long to update this...here ya go: Muscle repeats fixed.Ribs repeats fixed. My only concern with these is that I had to use medical terminology to avoid the repeats, and it may make people's eyes glaze over. Trio overuse fixed. -The CaptainSnakeman_Autopsy.txt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j'ordos Posted August 20, 2003 Report Share Posted August 20, 2003 Myoloid? Ventricle? And what about those who are not an MD? Oh well, there probably isn't an easy word for most of those things without using the same word all the time, as this is indeed somewhat difficult with medical terms... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt. Boxershorts Posted August 20, 2003 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2003 Myoloid is the technical term for muscle, usually used to describe cells or tissue. Ventricles are the lower chambers of the heart. No, I'm not an MD...just married to one. -The Captian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Azrael Posted January 20, 2005 Report Share Posted January 20, 2005 VIPER AUTOPSYX-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Autopsies/Viper Our dissection of this creature has led to many fascinating revelations. Beneath its tough, scaly skin, the Viper does not have myeloid tissue as we understand it. Instead, each major 'muscle' is actually a multi-chambered organ similar to the Human heart. Each ventricle contains a varying amount of thick fluid, and movement is achieved by a natural hydraulic action, with the fluid being pumped from one chamber of the 'muscle' to another. This hydrodynamic movement is very efficient, giving a Viper great speed and agility. The Viper skeletal structure is significantly less complex than the Human skeleton, containing only 123 bones. The skull is formed from a single bone, with a large cranial capacity. The jaw is actually composed by two parts, one on each side, with extensive musculature around the venom sacs. The shoulder area contains five bones forming a complex structure of anchors for the shoulder muscle organs. There is no actual joint connecting the arms to the shoulder as in terrestrial vertebrae; instead an interwoven series of muscle organs attaches the bones of the upper arm to the shoulder. This gives the creature the amazing flexibility reported by our operatives on the field. It can also allow a Viper to compress itself significantly, potentially fitting into narrow tunnels or pipes. Another major skeletal difference is the arms, with only a single heavy bone in the lower arm. All joints in the arm and hand are similar to the shoulder, differing only in size. The spine of the creature consists of over a hundred vertebrae, extending from the base of the skull to end of the tail, with each vertebra supporting a single cartilaginous rib that wraps entirely around the body. The costal structures completely enclose the body for almost the total length. The ribs in the last fifty centimeters of the body do not meet, instead leaving a flexible opening through which the eggs may pass. Most of the internal organs of the specimen are analogous to terrestrial vertebrates, with oxygen absorption being handled by a trio of lung-like organs connected to the mouth. The only major difference is in the heart, a meter-long quartet of tubes extending from the chest into the tail. Apparently the very movement of the creature pumps its own heart. It seems this Alien would not survive complete unconsciousness for long. The majority of the body and tail is taken up by the reproductive system. All specimens available have contained between forty and fifty eggs in a large protective sack. Quite often, these eggs are expelled from the body during the Alien's death throes. There do not seem to be any gender differences between any of the current specimens. Either there is a 'drone' of the species that fertilizes the eggs, or the creatures reproduce asexually. From the number of eggs in each specimen, it seems that this race would be a serious threat to our world should any colonies of the creatures allowed to establish themselves. “These things bear an uncanny resemblance to Snakes. I guess it’s not a good time to tell you I have a deathly fear of snakes?” –Medical assistant Simon Brinks, moments before the first Viper autopsy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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