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XCOMUFO & Xenocide

CTD - Terror-disc


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Oh, Aerodrone is the name the aliens call it? I thought that was what the humans would call it after reading your previous text about it. If that's the case, I have no objection to it at all.

Edit: just noticed your update of the autopsy, question obsolete.

 

About medic/engineer, there's something to say for both, as it is a michine (like the Artopod), so engineer would be more logical. But then again, all other aliens are researched through a medic, while the engineers give UFO types. Having that go through each other does not sound like a very good idea to me

Edited by RustedSoul
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also, if the greys are laughting of the puny humans, why install self-destruct? Cant you juust explain that the plasma reactor will explode, like the autopusy?

 

I like aurodrone better for a human callname and....ehm....cynta-bekt or something for the aliens.

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You may want to add some more meat to it. No offense, I just feel that it needs more stuff. For example flufftext: "Our Aerodrone is one of the most powerful weapons at our disposal, blah blah blah" -Captured Grey Medic/Engineer. Edited by RustedSoul
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that's good work. I would remove the word "pets" though, it seems to me that greys don't form that sort of emotional attachment to anything, especially of another species.
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Call them workhorses if they are meant largley to do work.

Call them Transport if they are meant to carry greys arount.

I guess you could say they are very simmilar to horses if they do both(or trucks for the modern age). I suppose you could call them slaves as well. Thats all I can think of right now.

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Well, slavery sort of implies an inherent evilness. I'm not sure that the greys would keep slaves (evil/ sadism is an emotion too!) they would probably try to keep neutral in what they called their animals (as they don't really have much emotion imo.) I don't know.

 

If I seem irritable or incoherent tonight, it is because I am extremely tired from spending 3 hours on a stupid translation from spanish to english. :( I apologize :(

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How about:

These strange machines should be eliminated before any other threat.

These strange machines present the greatest threat to our soldiers on the field.

These strange machines should be targeted first in terror missions in order ro prevent increased civilian casualities.

 

Here are the problems with yours.

1) It's a recommendation, not a command. It should be "should" (note how I didn't say it must be should :D)

2) Counter-assault where they are deployed implies that the cyberdiscs were deployed to a counter-assault.

3) The focus doesn't really mean much other than being important. Focus does not automatically mean: we should kill this. If it did, then the phrase: "Bob was the focus of the party" would not be a very good phrase to use at all, unless he was brutally murdered. If you must use the word focus try: X-com operatives should focus on killing... or something similar

 

In reality that last sentence actually makes very little sense at all, you just didn't notice it because you knew what it was supposed to mean.

 

Edit: I tell you what's grammatically wrong about your ctd and I don't even do my post right. :Blush: Well, it's fixed now, so don't look for it.

 

Edit: I forgot to look at the rest of your post

and an powerful 'dead-man' style self-destruct
This one's pretty obvious

 

An atempt to replicate the original Aerodrone's pack-hunting mentality was also successful, creating the perfect mechanical monster, most often used to track and capture creatures for their masters' genetic experiments With the arrival of a race they call the 'Tall Ones', and the subsequent co-opting of their civilization, the Sagisati converted their cybernetic servents for war, adding layers of armor, a powerful plasma cannon, and an powerful 'dead-man' style self-destruct, designed to inflict horrific damage even when disabled.
Can you say: run-on sentance? Although it looks like it was accidental. It's hard to notice because it's at the end of the line.

Other than that it's pretty good.

Edited by Ancalagon
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OKay, it's update time!

 

Here are the main changes:

 

Run-on sentence changed to:

An attempt to replicate the original Aerodrone's pack-hunting mentality was also successful, creating the perfect mechanical monster.  These mechanisms were most often used to track and capture creatures for their masters' genetic experiments.

 

 

"'dead-man' style" removed.

 

Last line cahnged to:

These strange machines present the greatest threat to our soldiers on the field, and should be eliminated as quickly as possible.

 

-The Captain

cyberdisc.txt

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  • 1 year later...
  • 5 weeks later...

TERROR-DISC

X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Species/Terror-Disc

 

Despite its organic appearance, this 'creature' is not a true species at all, but rather an artificial mobile weapons platform similar to our own MTC-01C tank design. Built and commanded by members of the Sagisati race (known to us as Greys), the Terror-Disc, or Aerodrone as it is referred to by its masters, is a formidable addition to the Alien ranks.

 

The Aerodrone is a bio-mimetic device based on a common creature on the Greys’ home-world. Apparently the Sagisati equivalent of the terran dog is a pack-hunting crustacean capable of floating via internal hydrogen stores. These creatures were used for centuries as beasts of burden, guards, hunters and trackers. While the original species has been extinct for several hundred years, the Greys built cybernetic versions of this animal as replacements, keeping the body shape, replicating the flying ability with an on-board antigravity device, and implementing advanced AI controllers with psychotronic control interfaces allowing the Greys to use their powerful psionic abilities to control them. An attempt to replicate the original Aerodrone's pack-hunting mentality was also a success, creating the perfect mechanical monster. These mechanisms were most often used to track and capture creatures for their masters' genetic experiments

 

With the arrival of a species they call the 'Tall Ones', and the subsequent co-opting of their civilization, the Sagisati adapted their cybernetic servants for war, adding layers of armor, a powerful plasma cannon, and a powerful self-destruct system, designed to inflict horrific damage even when disabled. Their grotesque appearance, combined with their hunting programming, makes them perfect weapons of terror to unleash against our civilian population. These strange machines present the greatest threat to our soldiers on the field, and should be eliminated as quickly as possible.

 

"Without the plasma weapons of mass destruction, damage resistant armor plates, and explosive self-destruction device, it almost looks...cute!"

- Pvt. Jessica Gardner

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