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CTD - Probe Ufo


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#1 Cpt. Boxershorts

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Posted 27 June 2003 - 06:39 PM

Here's the first drafts for descriptions of the various scouts. Feel free to dispense comments, suggestions, imprecations, and rotten fruit as neccessary.

Only one attachment per post? :cussing:

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#2 Kenshiro

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Posted 01 July 2003 - 02:21 PM

Great job on these box! Very cool descriptions.

----

"The smallest of the armed alien craft, the Medium Scout seems to have been a common
visitor to our world."

Yes, but will they ever learn to obey the speed limit?

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#3 Cpt. Boxershorts

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Posted 01 July 2003 - 03:16 PM

299,792,458 m/s

Remember, it's not just a good idea...it's the law.
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#4 dan2

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Posted 05 March 2005 - 02:12 PM

PROBE UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Probe

This tiny vessel is the weakest craft in alien use, but it is highly maneuvrable and
relatively hard to detect. The [Probe] is able to fulfill basic search and surveys missions. Because its unthreatful size, it is also used for initiating peaceful alien-human contacts.

The size of this craft is very small, covering only a few square meters and it has only one level. It has a round shape and it is covered with what appear to be a complex sensor array. An opening activated by proximity can hardly be distinguished from outside. On the opposite side of this door big lumps can be observed, probably involved in the propulsion system. The outer armor of the ship appears to be made from a light organic-like material, which is able to withstand pressures and temperatures superior to all known materials.
The ship apparently was not designed for battle, since there are no observable weapons coming out from the [Probe]'s surface.

Inside the air is very humid and hot, making breathing almost unbearable for a human, but probably optimal for alien living. The walls are covered by the same tough material observed on the outside of the craft, in which various devices are embedded. Three tiny rooms are designed to accomodate the pilot, the engines and the organic computers connected to the sensor array through long, elastic limbs.
Only one alien is found to inhabit this vessel and it appears to exist a direct connection between the alien and the craft, allowing the pilot to fulfill all the required tasks alone with unusual ease.
There's only one small engine inside, but it's power output is amazing. It is able to accelerate the vessel to very high speed, but fortunately for us, our standard interceptors are able to match its speed and to launch a direct attack against it.

While gathering data doesn't appear to be a harmful activity, we must stop these alien ships from fulfilling their duty to prevent aliens to gain vital information against us and to prepare a strong defence against the alien menace

#5 Cpt. Boxershorts

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Posted 05 March 2005 - 03:00 PM

Redone in the suggested format (more or less):

Small Scout (Foo Fighter)

Although it's the least of the invader's vessels, the small scout is still a
grave threat. Too similar to descriptions during World War II for coincidence,
these so called 'Foo Fighters' have obviously been scouting our planet for decades.

Consisting of a small oblong hull studded with minor excrescences, this UFO is
often disregarded in favor of its greater brethren. Carrying a lone pilot, these
tiny vessels rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions. Unarmed,
and lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not one of terror or destruction,
but of secrets and espionage.

However, their size is also their weakness...apparently these tiny vessels are
too small to easily disapate the vast energies generated by the alien power unit.
The eye-catching blue corona first noticed by WWII pilots is the primary
method of disapating excess power. If the small discharge flanges are damaged in any way, the vessel will be consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propusion system.

The interior of this craft is claustrobic coffin, barely large enough for
the single crew member. The walls are studded with alien glyphs and devices.
It is recommended that combat personnel refrain from unneccesary experimentation with these devices, given the aformentioned results of the power source destabilizing.

Small scouts are commonly used to pave the way for larger vessels, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about an area. The aliens' surveys include everything from basic geographic information to population size and threat
estimates. The most terrifying of these reports is local colonization prospects,
determining the ideal place to grow one of their foul nests on our world.
Wherever this small, unassuming ship appears, follow-up missions with more threatening alien transports are sure to follow.


-The Captain

edit: misplaced apostrophe

Edited by Cpt. Boxershorts, 05 March 2005 - 04:48 PM.

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#6 Astyanax

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Posted 06 April 2005 - 04:44 PM

Fixed a few small spelling and grammatical errors (red for additions, orange for deletions), capitalized 4 instances of "Alien", and commented in blue.

Small Scout (Foo Fighter)

Although it's the least of the invader's vessels, the Small Scout is still a grave threat. Too similar to descriptions during World War II for coincidence, these so-called 'Foo Fighters' have obviously been scouting our planet for decades.

Consisting of a small oblong hull studded with minor excrescences, this UFO is often disregarded in favor of its greater brethren. Carrying a lone pilot, these tiny vessels rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions. Unarmed, and lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not one of terror or destruction, but of secrets and espionage.

In sentence 1, are you talking about UFO detection and intercept? If so, I suggest "...excrescences, interception of these UFOs is often deferred in favor of its larger brethren." In the last sentence, "the threat...of secrets and espionage" sounds strange.

However, their size is also their weakness...apparently these tiny vessels are too small to easily dissipate the vast energies generated by the Alien power unit. The eye-catching blue corona first noticed by WWII pilots is the primary method of dissipating excess power. If the small discharge flanges are damaged in any way, the vessel will be consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system.

In the first sentence "tiny" and "small" are redundant.

The interior of this craft is claustrophobic coffin, barely large enough for the single crew member. The walls are studded with Alien glyphs and devices. It is recommended that combat personnel refrain from unnecessary experimentation with these devices, given the aformentioned results of the power source destabilizing.

Small Scouts are commonly used to pave the way for larger vessels, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about an area. The Aliens' surveys include everything from basic geographic information to population size and threat estimates. The most terrifying of these reports is local colonization prospects, determining the ideal place to grow one of their foul nests on our world. Wherever this small, unassuming ship appears, follow-up missions with more threatening Alien transports are sure to follow.

In sentence 3, maybe use "distressing" or "disturbing" instead of "terrifying" since the report isn't terrifying so much as the actual colonization is (also, in the second paragraph, you say, "the threat these craft pose is not one of terror or destruction, but of secrets and espionage" :P). Also, the CT needs a fluff. :P

Hm, it looks like I proofread more than commented, even though I am making an effort to keep proofreading to a minimum. If I can't find much to comment on, that just means the ideas sound good to me- nice text, Cpt. Boxershorts! =b

Edited by Astyanax, 06 April 2005 - 05:15 PM.

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#7 Cpt. Boxershorts

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Posted 06 April 2005 - 11:01 PM

My comments in gray...

Small Scout  (Foo Fighter)

Although it's the least of the invader's vessels, the Small Scout is still a grave threat.  Too similar to descriptions during World War II for coincidence, these so-called 'Foo Fighters' have obviously been scouting our planet for decades.

Consisting of a small oblong hull studded with minor excrescences, interception of this UFO is often disregarded in favor of its greater brethren.  Carrying a lone pilot, these tiny vessels rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions.  Unarmed, and lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not one of terror or destruction, but of secrets and espionagesurveillence, espionage,
and collusion.


In sentence 1, are you talking about UFO detection and intercept?  If so, I suggest "...excrescences, interception of these UFOs is often deferred in favor of its larger brethren."  In the last sentence, "the threat...of secrets and espionage" sounds strange.

I admit I was thinking more often that they are ignored altogether...'defered' implies that they're still taken down, just after the bigger vessels.  They're so fast that they're generally out of range unless you go after them right away...taking on another vessel with a fighter means the little guy is long gone by the time you're done.  No big deal one way or the other, though.

However, their size is also their weakness...apparently these tiny vessels are too small to easily dissipate the vast energies generated by the Alien power unit.  The eye-catching blue corona first noticed by WWII pilots is the primary method of dissipating excess power.  If the small discharge flanges are damaged in any way, the vessel will be consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system.

In the first sentence "tiny" and "small" are redundant.
'tiny' describes the vessel, 'small' describes the weakness.  Unless this is a major problem, I'd prefer to keep it...I like the emphasis.

The interior of this craft is claustrophobic coffin, barely large enough for the single crew member.  The walls are studded with Alien glyphs and devices.  It is recommended that combat personnel refrain from unnecessary experimentation with these devices, given the aformentioned results of the power source destabilizing.

Small Scouts are commonly used to pave the way for larger vessels, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about an area.  The Aliens' surveys include everything from basic geographic information to population size and threat estimates. The most terrifying of these reports is local colonization prospects, determining the ideal place to grow one of their foul nests on our world.  Wherever this small, unassuming ship appears, follow-up missions with more threatening Alien transports are sure to follow.

In sentence 3, maybe use "distressing" or "disturbing" instead of "terrifying" since the report isn't terrifying so much as the actual colonization is (also, in the second paragraph, you say, "the threat these craft pose is not one of terror or destruction, but of secrets and espionage").  Also, the CT needs a fluff.
I'm trying to play up the fear and loathing aspect of it...'distressing' or 'disturbing' just don't seem strong enough, e.g.  I'm distressed if my car is stolen, and disturbed if there's a break-in in my neighborhood...but I think an colony of alien invaders moving in ranks somewhat higher.  OMG


-The Captain
"...you're always afraid you'll lose control and wake up some morning with a half-built time machine and a plan to go back in time and pants Hitler."
- A Miracle of Science


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#8 Astyanax

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Posted 07 April 2005 - 10:51 AM

Consisting of a small oblong hull studded with minor excrescences, interception of these UFOs are often disregarded in favor of their greater brethren. Carrying a lone pilot, these tiny vessels rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions. Unarmed, and lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not one of terror or destruction, but of surveillance, espionage, and collusion.

I admit I was thinking more often that they are ignored altogether...'defered' implies that they're still taken down, just after the bigger vessels. They're so fast that they're generally out of range unless you go after them right away...taking on another vessel with a fighter means the little guy is long gone by the time you're done. No big deal one way or the other, though.

Alright, I misunderstood. How about, "...these swift, agile UFOs are often disregarded in favor of their larger, more easily intercepted brethren" to be a little more descriptive? I also changed the singular cases to plural cases to be consistent within the paragraph.

In the first sentence "tiny" and "small" are redundant.
'tiny' describes the vessel, 'small' describes the weakness. Unless this is a major problem, I'd prefer to keep it...I like the emphasis.

It's not bad, but "tiny" and "small" seem to refer more to size; for emphasizing weakness, maybe "frail" (doesn't quite fit in the sentence, though); "unsubstantial"; "feeble", "effete", or "anemic" (might be too emphatic); or diminutive (sort of the same as small, but a bit more descriptive). ...Well, it's not really a big deal. :P

I'm trying to play up the fear and loathing aspect of it...'distressing' or 'disturbing' just don't seem strong enough, e.g. I'm distressed if my car is stolen, and disturbed if there's a break-in in my neighborhood...but I think an colony of alien invaders moving in ranks somewhat higher. OMG

You're right, "distressing" and "disturbing" are too understated, but I can't help that there's a noun missing... "The most terrifying _____ of these reports is local colonization prospects, determining the ideal place to grow one of their foul nests on our world."

Maybe: "The most terrifying reports (are/detail) their (local/terrestrial) colonization prospects, (used for determining/which determine) ideal sites for (growing/establishing) their foul nests on our world."?

In any case, these are just minor little nitpicks; they can be left as they are. :)

Edited by Astyanax, 07 April 2005 - 10:57 AM.

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#9 Cpt. Boxershorts

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Posted 07 April 2005 - 08:00 PM

Okay, several tweaks. I really like 'diminutive', btw...fits perfectly.
Major changes especially to the last paragraph...I'm worried I sound too much like a cheesy 50's sci-fi show...

As for flfuff, I'm not great at it, but here's a few:

"Don't I have that UFO copyrighted?"
- S. Spielberg, Alien Psychology, Civilian division

"How do we hide these things from curious locals? Whack a few of those doohickies on the outside with a hammer, and run like blazes."
- "Effective Incursion Concealment Methodologies" by CENSORED

-The Captain

Small Scout  (Foo Fighter)

Although it's the least of the invader's vessels, the Small Scout is still a grave threat.  Too similar to descriptions during World War II for coincidence, these so-called 'Foo Fighters' have obviously been scouting our planet for decades.

Consisting of a small oblong hull studded with minor excrescences, interception of this UFO is often disregarded in favor of its greaterthese swift, agile UFOs are often disregarded in favor of their more ponderous brethren.  Carrying a lone pilot, these tiny vessels rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions.  Unarmed, and lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not one of terror or destruction, but of surveillence, espionage, and collusion.

However, their size is also their weakness...apparently these tinydiminutive vessels are too small to easily dissipate the vast energies generated by the Alien power unit.  The eye-catching blue corona first noticed by WWII pilots is the primary method of dissipating excess power.  If the small discharge flanges are damaged in any way, the vessel will be consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system.

The interior of this craft is claustrophobic coffin, barely large enough for the single crew member.  The walls are studded with Alien glyphs and devices.  It is recommended that combat personnel refrain from unnecessary experimentation with these devices, given the aformentioned results of the power source destabilizing.

Small Scouts are commonly used to pave the way for larger vessels, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about an area.  The Aliens' surveys include everything from basic geographic information to population size and threat estimates. The most terrifying of these reports is localdetail terrestrial colonization prospects in the surveyed region, determining the most ideal placelocations to grow one of their foul nests on our fair world.  Wherever this small, unassuming ship appears, follow-up missions with more threatening Alien transports are sure to follow.


"...you're always afraid you'll lose control and wake up some morning with a half-built time machine and a plan to go back in time and pants Hitler."
- A Miracle of Science


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#10 Astyanax

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Posted 08 April 2005 - 12:24 AM

=b Cpt. Boxershorts!

The long-awaited fluff hunt begins! Release the CTD hounds! (sorry, I'm in a very odd mood tonight...)

Edited by Astyanax, 11 April 2005 - 12:14 PM.

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#11 dipstick

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Posted 08 April 2005 - 04:46 PM

'Aaaaaahh, look how cute it is...'

Last transmission of first ground assault mission to a [Small Scout]


'They call THIS a UFO? Where's the guns? The armour? The hordes of aliens? This is no fun.....' Squaddie Astyanax on his first ground assault mission.

Meh, you lot should do better. :Poke:
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#12 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 17 April 2005 - 11:08 PM

In paragraph 1, you mention "scout-class vessels", and in paragraph 5, "Escort-class vessel".  This can be confusing, especially since the smallest UFO is called the Small Scout, iirc.

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The smallest one is called "Probe".

#13 Astyanax

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Posted 18 April 2005 - 09:38 AM

Oops, I guess I got confused myself... :Blush:

But if that's the case, the first line of the Small Scout CT ("Although it's the least of the invader's vessels...") might need to be altered to address the existence of an even smaller craft?

That is, unless the Small Scout actually IS the Probe...
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#14 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 18 April 2005 - 11:01 AM

Oops, I guess I got confused myself... :Blush:

But if that's the case, the first line of the Small Scout CT ("Although it's the least of the invader's vessels...") might need to be altered to address the existence of an even smaller craft?

That is, unless the Small Scout actually IS the Probe...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The Small Scout is the Probe (read the names list, please :) )

#15 Mad

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Posted 03 April 2006 - 07:14 AM

Needs a fluff, maybe some polishing

Small Scout  (Foo Fighter)

Although it's the least of the invader's vessels, the Small Scout is still a grave threat.  Too similar to descriptions during World War II for coincidence, these so-called 'Foo Fighters' have obviously been scouting our planet for decades.

Consisting of a small oblong hull studded with minor excrescences, interception of this UFO is often disregarded in favor of its greaterthese swift, agile UFOs are often disregarded in favor of their more ponderous brethren.  Carrying a lone pilot, these tiny vessels rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions.  Unarmed, and lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not one of terror or destruction, but of surveillence, espionage, and collusion.

However, their size is also their weakness...apparently these tinydiminutive vessels are too small to easily dissipate the vast energies generated by the Alien power unit.  The eye-catching blue corona first noticed by WWII pilots is the primary method of dissipating excess power.  If the small discharge flanges are damaged in any way, the vessel will be consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system.

The interior of this craft is claustrophobic coffin, barely large enough for the single crew member.  The walls are studded with Alien glyphs and devices.  It is recommended that combat personnel refrain from unnecessary experimentation with these devices, given the aformentioned results of the power source destabilizing.

Small Scouts are commonly used to pave the way for larger vessels, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about an area.  The Aliens' surveys include everything from basic geographic information to population size and threat estimates. The most terrifying of these reports is localdetail terrestrial colonization prospects in the surveyed region, determining the most ideal placelocations to grow one of their foul nests on our fair world.  Wherever this small, unassuming ship appears, follow-up missions with more threatening Alien transports are sure to follow.


Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#16 kafros

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Posted 03 June 2006 - 07:00 AM

Removal
Changes
Comments

SMALL SCOUT
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Scout

Although it is the least of the invader's vessels, the Small Scout is still a grave threat. Too similar to descriptions during World War II for coincidence, these so-called 'Foo Fighters' have obviously been scouting our planet for decades.

Consisting of a small oblong hull studded with minor excrescences, interception of this UFO is often disregarded in favor of its greaterthese swift, agile UFOs are often disregarded in favor of their more ponderous brethren. Carrying a lone pilot, these tiny vessels rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions. Unarmed, and lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not one of terror or destruction, but of surveillance, espionage, and collusion.

However, their size is also their weakness. Apparently, these diminutive vessels are too small to efficiently dissipate the vast energies generated by the Alien power unit. The eye-catching blue corona first noticed by WWII pilots is the primary method of dissipating excess power. If the small discharge flanges are interrupted in any way, the vessel will be consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system.

*Blue corona? Foo fighters were yellow lights/sparks or red/yellow fireballs.
*What do you have in mind for "in any way"??? How will it be consumed?


The interior of this craft is like a claustrophobic coffin, barely large enough for the single crew member. The walls are studded with Alien glyphs and devices. It is recommended that combat personnel refrain from unnecessary experimentation with these devices, given the aforementioned results of the power source destabilizing.

Should we add any information for the devices? Like a touch-controlled, resizable-map-screen which the navigator uses to guide the probe, an options console for customizing the sensors' operation and information collecting patterns (oops, that last one was a technobabble :P) etc etc etc...

Small Scouts are commonly used to pave the way for larger vessels, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about an area. The Alien surveys include various information, from geographic ones to population size and threat estimation. The most terrifying of these reports is terrestrial colonization prospects in the surveyed region, determining the most ideal locations to grow one of their foul nests on our fair world. Wherever this small, unassuming ship appears, follow-up missions with more threatening Alien transports are sure to follow.

*Nests? Fair world? Too much drama... First of all, this world is not fair :P, and in addition those Aliens are not Zergs, they are a collection of various intelligent or less-intelligent species with an unknown objective. I propose: "...ideal locations to establish an outpost, according to their needs."
*unassuming????


"Those things are like mosquitoes. They are small, but if unattended, they may cause you a great deal of trouble" - Major Jones, talking to a pilot.

Edited by kafros, 03 June 2006 - 07:04 AM.


#17 Moriarty

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Posted 03 June 2006 - 09:05 AM

took a shot at re-writing all three small UFO texts.

Probe UFO

The tiny size of these alien craft has been the subject of discussions about whether they are piloted craft at all or just unmanned drones. X-Corps has come to name them "Probes" for this reason.

UFO sightings dating back to World War II can probably be attributed to these vessels. Reports show a remarkable similarity, although the reported UFO sizes differ wildly. We assume that these differences are probably a result of very inaccurate distance estimations caused by incredible maneuverability. Historically dubbed "Foo Fighters", these Probes have obviously been used to scout our planet for decades.

Although the Probes' hull is not saucer-shaped, a casual glance at the craft in flight might give the impression of possessing rotational symmetry due to its dome-shaped main body, lined with the slightly glowing propulsion system. The craft/drone discussion has been resolved when we found out that the Probe is in fact piloted by a single alien. The interior is claustrophobic and coffin-like, barely large enough for the lone pilot. The walls are covered in Alien glyphs and devices of mostly unknown purpose, and it is recommended that X-Corps soldiers refrain from trying to operate or touch any of them in the field.
In our analysis, we were not able to find any modular components. Apparently, the Probe's propulsion and navigation systems are completely integrated into the ship itself. While this is a very efficient design, it prevents us from learning any further details about the alien technology. The integrated design is also the reason for another important weakness: The Probe's power systems rely on exterior dissipation of excess energy. When engaged in high-speed maneuvers, the energies are dissipated through the hull, resulting in a blue corona around the whole craft. This glow has also already been described by WWII pilots. If this method of energy dissipation is compromised by otherwise negligible-seeming exterior damage, the vessel is consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system.

The swift, agile Probes rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions, often going completely unnoticed. Unarmed and only lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not terror and destruction, but surveillance and espionage. Probes appear to be commonly used to scout areas of interest, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about an area before the deployment of larger vessels. These Alien surveys apparently include everything from basic geographic information to population size and local technology. This data is then most likely used for threat estimations and, the most terrifying prospect, for determining the ideal locations for local colonization - where to install an alien base. Wherever this small craft appears, follow-up missions with more dangerous UFOs are sure to follow.


I doubt, therefore I might be.

Posted Image,the sneaky little bastard.

#18 Mad

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Posted 03 June 2006 - 09:07 AM

took a shot at re-writing all three small UFO texts.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Very Good! Thanks a lot! Will have a look as soon as I have the time. :)
Keep smiling while dying

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And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#19 Mad

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Posted 05 June 2006 - 08:36 AM

Sooo... I don't have the time for it.. but anyway...
It's a good CT! :)

orange proposed deletions

PROBE UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Probe


The tiny size of these alien craft has been the subject to? of discussions about whether they are piloted craft at all or just unmanned drones. X-Corps has come to name them "Probes" for this reason.

UFO sightings dating back to World War II can probably be attributed to these vessels. Reports show a remarkable similarity, although the reported UFO sizes differ wildly. We assume that these differences are probably a result of very inaccurate distance estimations caused by incredible maneuverability. Historically dubbed "Foo Fighters", these Probes have obviously been used to scout our planet for decades.

Although the Probes' hull is not saucer-shaped, a casual glance at the craft in flight might give the impression of possessing rotational symmetry due to its dome-shaped main body, lined with the slightly glowing propulsion system. The craft/drone discussion has been resolved when we found out discovered? that the Probe is in fact piloted by a single alien. When? How? Maybe write one or two sentences about it, to give it more color. :) The interior is claustrophobic and coffin-like, barely large enough for the lone pilot. The walls are covered in Alien glyphs and devices of mostly unknown purpose, and repeated use of "and" maybe just "R&D reccomends..."? it is recommended that X-Corps soldiers refrain from trying to operate or touch any of them in the field.
In our analysis, we were not able to find any modular components. Apparently, the Probe's propulsion and navigation systems are completely integrated into the ship itself. While this is a very efficient design, it prevents us from learning any further details about the alien technology. The integrated design is also the reason for another important weakness: The Probe's power systems rely on exterior dissipation of excess energy. When engaged in high-speed maneuvers, the energies are dissipated through the hull, resulting in a blue corona around the whole craft. This glow has also already been described by WWII pilots. If this method of energy dissipation is compromised by otherwise negligible-seeming exterior damage, the vessel is consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system.

I love this! Very nice explanation of the corona! :)

The swift, agile Probes rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions, often going completely unnoticed. Unarmed and only lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not terror and destruction, but surveillance and espionage. Probes appear to be commonly used to scout areas of interest, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about an area repeated use of area. not severe, but try to find a better word. Maybe "sector"? before the deployment of larger vessels. These Alien surveys apparently include everything from basic geographic information to population size and local technology. This data is then most likely used for threat estimations and, the most terrifying prospect, for determining the ideal locations for local colonization - where to install an alien base. Wherever this small craft appears, follow-up missions with more dangerous UFOs are sure to follow.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


*Blue corona? Foo fighters were yellow lights/sparks or red/yellow fireballs.
*What do you have in mind for "in any way"??? How will it be consumed?

Well, actually I have heard of a lot of "blue sightings". Including, but not limited to the first episode of "Taken" :)

Edited by Mad, 05 June 2006 - 08:40 AM.

Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#20 Moriarty

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 04:14 AM

PROBE UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Probe

The tiny size of these alien craft has caused a heated debate about whether they are piloted craft at all or just unmanned drones. X-Corps has come to name them "Probes" for this reason.

UFO sightings dating back to World War II can probably be attributed to these vessels. Reports show a remarkable similarity, although the reported UFO sizes differ wildly. We assume that these differences are probably a result of very inaccurate distance estimations caused by incredible maneuverability. Historically dubbed "Foo Fighters", these Probes have obviously been used to scout our planet for decades.

Although the Probes' hull is not saucer-shaped, a casual glance at the craft in flight might give the impression of possessing rotational symmetry due to its dome-shaped main body, lined with the slightly glowing propulsion system. The craft/drone discussion has been resolved when we learned that the Probe is in fact piloted by a single alien. The interior is claustrophobic and coffin-like, barely large enough for the lone pilot. The walls are covered in Alien glyphs and devices of mostly unknown purpose. R&D recommends that X-Corps soldiers refrain from trying to operate or touch any of them in the field.
In our analysis, we were not able to find any modular components. Apparently, the Probe's propulsion and navigation systems are completely integrated into the ship itself. While this is a very efficient design, it prevents us from learning any further details about the alien technology. The integrated design is also the reason for another important weakness: The Probe's power systems rely on exterior dissipation of excess energy. When engaged in high-speed maneuvers, the energies are dissipated through the hull, resulting in a blue corona around the whole craft. This glow has also already been described by WWII pilots. If this method of energy dissipation is compromised by otherwise negligible-seeming exterior damage, the vessel is consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system.

The swift, agile Probes rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions, often going completely unnoticed. Unarmed and only lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not terror and destruction, but surveillance and espionage. Probes appear to be commonly used to scout areas of interest, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about target zones before the deployment of larger vessels. These Alien surveys apparently include everything from basic geographic information to population size and local technology. This data is then most likely used for threat estimations and, the most terrifying prospect, for determining the ideal locations for local colonization - where to install an alien base. Wherever this small craft appears, follow-up missions with more dangerous UFOs are sure to follow.


*Blue corona? Foo fighters were yellow lights/sparks or red/yellow fireballs.
*What do you have in mind for "in any way"??? How will it be consumed?

Well, actually I have heard of a lot of "blue sightings". Including, but not limited to the first episode of "Taken" :)


I don't know too much about atmosphere physics, but energized air (21% oxygen, 78% nitrogen, 1% stuff) will glow blueish-white, I think. like in an electrical discharge, which is nothing but superheated air.

I love this! Very nice explanation of the corona! :)

I'd love to take credit for this, but it was there before I took over... :( :)


[...]learned that it is piloted by a single pilot[...] When? How? Maybe write one or two sentences about it, to give it more color. :)

actually, I left any further explanation about the "how we learned" out on purpose. X-Com research tree would lead to this report by "questioning" of an alien engineer. later versions of Xenocide might make it available after capturing an intact UFO... that's why I didn't want to write about it.
I doubt, therefore I might be.

Posted Image,the sneaky little bastard.

#21 kafros

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 01:59 PM

Very nice Morty! (un)Fortunately, the whole draft is easy to read and flows well, so I really can't think of any interesting comments :P

I only have some trivial questions:
1)Power systems? Due to the Probe's size, I guess it would have a lone integrated system, or at least a specific system for each operation.
2)So, I guess that the Probe can only be destroyed. It can't be damaged, and definitely it can't crash land. And, in case you shoot the hull in a ground mission, the propulsion system won't be in operation, so it won't blow-up the place...
3)Have you thought of any fluffs? I added a silly one in my proposed draft, although there is some good reason not to include it ;)



PROBE UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Probe

The tiny size of these alien craft has caused a heated debate about whether they are piloted craft at all or just unmanned drones. X-Corps has come to name them "Probes" for this reason.

UFO sightings dating back to World War II can probably be attributed to these vessels. Reports show a remarkable similarity, although the reported UFO sizes differ wildly. We assume that these differences are probably a result of very inaccurate distance estimations caused by incredible maneuverability. Historically dubbed "Foo Fighters", these Probes have obviously been used to scout our planet for decades.

Although the Probes' hull is not saucer-shaped, a casual glance at the craft in flight might give the impression of possessing rotational symmetry due to its dome-shaped main body, lined with the slightly glowing propulsion system. The craft/drone discussion has been resolved when we learned that the Probe is in fact piloted by a single alien. The interior is claustrophobic and coffin-like, barely large enough for the lone pilot. The walls are covered in Alien glyphs and devices of mostly unknown purpose. R&D recommends that X-Corps soldiers should refrain from trying to operate or touch any of them in the battlefield.

In our analysis, we were not able to find any modular components. Apparently, the Probe's propulsion and navigation systems are completely integrated into the ship itself. While this is a very efficient design, it prevents us from learning any further details about the alien technology. The integrated design is also the reason for another important weakness: The Probe's power systems rely on exterior dissipation of excess energy. When engaged in high-speed maneuvers, the energies are dissipated through the hull, resulting in a blue corona around the whole craft. This glow has also already been described by WWII pilots. If this method of energy dissipation is compromised by otherwise negligible-seeming exterior damage, the vessel is consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system.

The swift, agile Probes rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions, often going completely unnoticed. Unarmed and only lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not terror and destruction, but surveillance and espionage. Probes appear to be commonly used to scout areas of interest, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about target zones before the deployment of larger vessels. These Alien surveys apparently include everything from basic geographic information to population size and local technology. This data is then most likely used for threat estimations and, the most terrifying prospect, for determining the ideal locations for local colonization - where to install an alien base. Wherever this small craft appears, follow-up missions with more dangerous UFOs are sure to follow.


Edited by kafros, 06 June 2006 - 02:03 PM.


#22 Mad

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 02:21 PM

[...]learned that it is piloted by a single pilot[...] When? How? Maybe write one or two sentences about it, to give it more color. :)

actually, I left any further explanation about the "how we learned" out on purpose. X-Com research tree would lead to this report by "questioning" of an alien engineer. later versions of Xenocide might make it available after capturing an intact UFO... that's why I didn't want to write about it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

well, for v1 it will be through alieninterrogation, so it migh tbe better to leave this out. for v1+ I personally am thinking of either different texts depending on which way you got the info, or maybe to allow research on UFOs to speed up interrogation... But well, I guess it's not up to me to decide this... :)
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#23 Moriarty

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Posted 07 June 2006 - 01:24 AM

actually, the probe may have more than one power system, it's just not a standard Xenium Reactor. I'd rather leave it as it is, mainly for text flow reasons.

you are right that "battlefield" is more correct, but "in the field" is a common expression afaik. that's why I would like to leave that as it is.

and I included an "often" in the sentence about the Probe being consumed by its energy systems... in X-Com, it was actually possible to shoot them down, with the machine gun (I think the laser might do the trick, too). but even one small missile destroys the small scout. everytime.

PROBE UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Probe

The tiny size of these alien craft has caused a heated debate about whether they are piloted craft at all or just unmanned drones. X-Corps has come to name them "Probes" for this reason.

UFO sightings dating back to World War II can probably be attributed to these vessels. Reports show a remarkable similarity, although the reported UFO sizes differ wildly. We assume that these differences are probably a result of very inaccurate distance estimations caused by incredible maneuverability. Historically dubbed "Foo Fighters", these Probes have obviously been used to scout our planet for decades.

Although the Probes' hull is not saucer-shaped, a casual glance at the craft in flight might give the impression of possessing rotational symmetry due to its dome-shaped main body, lined with the slightly glowing propulsion system. The craft/drone discussion has been resolved when we learned that the Probe is in fact piloted by a single alien. The interior is claustrophobic and coffin-like, barely large enough for the lone pilot. The walls are covered in Alien glyphs and devices of mostly unknown purpose. R&D recommends that X-Corps soldiers should refrain from trying to operate or touch any of them in the field.

In our analysis, we were not able to find any modular components. Apparently, the Probe's propulsion and navigation systems are completely integrated into the ship itself. While this is a very efficient design, it prevents us from learning any further details about the alien technology. The integrated design is also the reason for another important weakness: The Probe's power systems rely on exterior dissipation of excess energy. When engaged in high-speed maneuvers, the energies are dissipated through the hull, resulting in a blue corona around the whole craft. This glow has also already been described by WWII pilots. If this method of energy dissipation is compromised by otherwise negligible-seeming exterior damage, the vessel is often consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system.

The swift, agile Probes rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions, often going completely unnoticed. Unarmed and only lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not terror and destruction, but surveillance and espionage. Probes appear to be commonly used to scout areas of interest, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about target zones before the deployment of larger vessels. These Alien surveys apparently include everything from basic geographic information to population size and local technology. This data is then most likely used for threat estimations and, the most terrifying prospect, for determining the ideal locations for local colonization - where to install an alien base. Wherever this small craft appears, follow-up missions with more dangerous UFOs are sure to follow.


I doubt, therefore I might be.

Posted Image,the sneaky little bastard.

#24 Mad

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Posted 09 June 2006 - 05:19 PM

Well, I may be drunk, but I feel this one is close to completion. any comments form anyone else? oterwise this will be sealed and sent to "complete" =b
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#25 Zombie

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Posted 09 June 2006 - 11:04 PM

Sober up, sir Mad. We still need some fluff yet. Then it's done. LOL

- Zombie
The Mr. Grognard of X-COM

Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.
A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.
A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.
They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,
of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!


#26 Mad

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Posted 10 June 2006 - 02:18 AM

Sober up, sir Mad. We still need some fluff yet. Then it's done. LOL

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<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, yes sir nitpicker. I meant the CT - besides the fluff. :P
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#27 kafros

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Posted 10 June 2006 - 04:01 AM

Proposals:

* "Those things are like mosquitoes. They are small, but if unattended, they may cause you a great deal of trouble" - Major Jones, talking to a pilot.

* "Hey, that would be a great lght bulb for the landing pad!"

* "I will not take the Probe and go shopping again. Ever!" - Commander Tommy's log

#28 Mad

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Posted 10 June 2006 - 04:49 AM

* I wonder what might happen if a bug hits the windshield...
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#29 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 10 June 2006 - 09:02 AM

May I suggest we do make a series of "Commander Tommy's" fluffs?

*You may not take the captured Probe "out for a spin"*
- X-Corps Training Manual, revision 892.

#30 kafros

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Posted 10 June 2006 - 11:27 AM

May I suggest we do make a series of "Commander Tommy's" fluffs?

*You may not take the captured Probe "out for a spin"*
- X-Corps Training Manual, revision 892.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I once proposed in a now lost (deleted by mistake, by me?) post that we could add an "easter-egg-option" in the gameplay options: Commander Tommy's fluffs in X-Net! The XML file format would make a wonderful options-holder, don't you think?

#31 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 10 June 2006 - 11:32 AM

May I suggest we do make a series of "Commander Tommy's" fluffs?

*You may not take the captured Probe "out for a spin"*
- X-Corps Training Manual, revision 892.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I once proposed in a now lost (deleted by mistake, by me?) post that we could add an "easter-egg-option" in the gameplay options: Commander Tommy's fluffs in X-Net! The XML file format would make a wonderful options-holder, don't you think?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yup, but I'd like to have a Commander Tommy fluff on every text, or something similiar, as in a recurrent joke throughout the game :)

#32 Mad

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Posted 24 June 2006 - 03:16 AM

OK, Moriarty! Pick a fluff! I want this one into "complete" now! :)
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#33 Moriarty

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Posted 24 June 2006 - 07:44 AM

*You may not take the captured Probe "out for a spin"*
- X-Corps Training Manual, revision 892.


I like this one. perhaps strengthen the motorcycle-allusion a bit?

"Captured Alien Probe UFO's are not to be airbrushed and "taken out for a spin".
- X-Corps Training Manual, revision 892


hmmm... airbrushed? spray-painted? painted? I don't know which sounds best.
I doubt, therefore I might be.

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#34 kafros

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Posted 25 June 2006 - 01:08 PM

airbrushed sounds better to me

Edited by kafros, 25 June 2006 - 01:08 PM.


#35 Mad

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Posted 22 November 2006 - 04:30 AM

Ok, this one is next Zombie! Still need some polishing and a fluff.
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#36 Mad

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Posted 22 November 2006 - 10:52 AM

A very good text! Don't have much to say...

PROBE UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Probe

The tiny size of these alien craft has caused a heated debate about whether they are piloted craft at all or just unmanned drones. X-Corps has come to name them "Probes" for this reason.

UFO sightings dating back to World War II can probably be attributed to these vessels. Reports show a remarkable similarity, although the reported colported? UFO sizes differ wildly. We assume that these differences are probably a result of very inaccurate distance estimations caused by incredible maneuverability. Historically dubbed "Foo Fighters", these Probes have obviously been used to scout our planet for decades.

Although the Probes' hull is not saucer-shaped, a casual glance at the craft in flight might give the impression of possessing rotational symmetry due to its dome-shaped main body, lined with the slightly glowing propulsion system. The craft/drone discussion has been resolved when we learned that the Probe is in fact piloted by a single alien. The interior is claustrophobic and coffin-like, barely large enough for the lone pilot. The walls are covered in Alien glyphs and devices of mostly unknown purpose. R&D recommends that X-Corps soldiers should refrain from trying to operate or touch any of them in the field.

In our analysis, we were not able to find any modular components. Apparently, the Probe's propulsion and navigation systems are completely integrated into the ship itself. While this is a very efficient design, it prevents us from learning any further details about the alien technology. The integrated design is also the reason for another important weakness: The Probe's power systems rely on exterior dissipation of excess energy. When engaged in high-speed maneuvers, the energies are dissipated through the hull, resulting in a blue corona around the whole craft. This glow has also already been described by WWII pilots. If this method of energy dissipation is compromised by otherwise negligible-seeming exterior damage, the vessel is often consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system.

The swift, agile Probes rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions, often going completely unnoticed. Unarmed and only lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not terror and destruction, but surveillance and espionage. Probes appear to be commonly used to scout areas of interest, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about target zones before the deployment of larger vessels. These Alien surveys apparently include everything from basic geographic information to population size and local technology. This data is then most likely used for threat estimations and, the most terrifying prospect, for determining the ideal locations for local colonization - where to install an alien base. Wherever this small craft appears, follow-up missions with more dangerous UFOs are sure to follow.


Personell is to refrain from taking out captured probes "for a spin"


Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image

#37 dteviot

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Posted 22 November 2006 - 12:27 PM

Personell is to refrain from taking out captured probes "for a spin"

Minor quibble. Correct English spelling and grammar is:
Personnel are to refrain from taking captured probes "out for a spin"
Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#38 Mad

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Posted 22 November 2006 - 02:44 PM


Personell is to refrain from taking out captured probes "for a spin"

Minor quibble. Correct English spelling and grammar is:
Personnel are to refrain from taking captured probes "out for a spin"

Really? I thought personel is the same as police. And then both gram. constructions should be allowed. No? I have no clue actually, we've been "fighting" over this for the last four years in CTD, and noone is able to give a really good point for his version. :/ (see also http://dict.leo.org/forum/viewGeneraldiscu...de&lang=de) Stating that singular would be American english. Since we are using AE as standard, I think singular should be correct.
But thanks a lot, good catch :)

PROBE UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Probe

The tiny size of these alien craft has caused a heated debate about whether they are piloted craft at all or just unmanned drones. X-Corps has come to name them "Probes" for this reason.

UFO sightings dating back to World War II can probably be attributed to these vessels. Reports show a remarkable similarity, although the reported colported? UFO sizes differ wildly. We assume that these differences are probably a result of very inaccurate distance estimations caused by incredible maneuverability. Historically dubbed "Foo Fighters", these Probes have obviously been used to scout our planet for decades.

Although the Probes' hull is not saucer-shaped, a casual glance at the craft in flight might give the impression of possessing rotational symmetry due to its dome-shaped main body, lined with the slightly glowing propulsion system. The craft/drone discussion has been resolved when we learned that the Probe is in fact piloted by a single alien. The interior is claustrophobic and coffin-like, barely large enough for the lone pilot. The walls are covered in Alien glyphs and devices of mostly unknown purpose. R&D recommends that X-Corps soldiers should refrain from trying to operate or touch any of them in the field.

In our analysis, we were not able to find any modular components. Apparently, the Probe's propulsion and navigation systems are completely integrated into the ship itself. While this is a very efficient design, it prevents us from learning any further details about the alien technology. The integrated design is also the reason for another important weakness: The Probe's power systems rely on exterior dissipation of excess energy. When engaged in high-speed maneuvers, the energies are dissipated through the hull, resulting in a blue corona around the whole craft. This glow has also already been described by WWII pilots. If this method of energy dissipation is compromised by otherwise negligible-seeming exterior damage, the vessel is often consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system.

The swift, agile Probes rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions, often going completely unnoticed. Unarmed and only lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not terror and destruction, but surveillance and espionage. Probes appear to be commonly used to scout areas of interest, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about target zones before the deployment of larger vessels. These Alien surveys apparently include everything from basic geographic information to population size and local technology. This data is then most likely used for threat estimations and, the most terrifying prospect, for determining the ideal locations for local colonization - where to install an alien base. Wherever this small craft appears, follow-up missions with more dangerous UFOs are sure to follow.


Personnel is to refrain from taking out captured probes "for a spin"


Edited by Mad, 22 November 2006 - 02:48 PM.

Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image

#39 dteviot

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Posted 22 November 2006 - 06:11 PM



Personell is to refrain from taking out captured probes "for a spin"

Minor quibble. Correct English spelling and grammar is:
Personnel are to refrain from taking captured probes "out for a spin"

Really? I thought personel is the same as police. And then both gram. constructions should be allowed. No? I have no clue actually, we've been "fighting" over this for the last four years in CTD, and noone is able to give a really good point for his version. :/ (see also http://dict.leo.org/forum/viewGeneraldiscu...de&lang=de) Stating that singular would be American english. Since we are using AE as standard, I think singular should be correct.

In this context it's plural.
http://dictionary.re...rowse/personnel
Note the example "All personnel are being given the day off."
Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#40 Zombie

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Posted 23 November 2006 - 01:32 AM

Indeed, dteviot is correct. "Personnel" is plural in the context. In fact, I think personnel is always used in plural form.

Anyhow, some revisions with the usual notation. Purple text for rewording, blue text for additions and strikethroughs for deletions.

PROBE UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Probe

The tiny size of these alien craft has caused a heated debate about whether they are actually piloted craft at all or just an unmanned drones. X-Corps has come to name them "Probes" for this reason.

UFO sightings dating back to World War II can probably be attributed to these vessels. Reports show a remarkable similarity, although the reported UFO sizes differ wildly. We assume that these differences variations are probably a the result of very inaccurate distance estimations caused by incredible maneuverability. Historically dubbed "Foo Fighters", these Probes have obviously been used to scout our planet for decades.

Although the Probes' hull is not saucer-shaped, a casual glance at the craft in flight might give the impression of possessing rotational symmetry due to its dome-shaped main body, lined with the a slightly glowing propulsion system. The craft/drone discussion has been resolved when we learned that a single alien in fact, pilots the Probe. The interior is claustrophobic and coffin-like, barely large enough for the lone pilot, while the walls are covered in Alien glyphs and devices of mostly unknown purpose. R&D recommends that X-Corps soldiers should refrain from trying to operate or touch any of them in the field.

In our analysis, we were not able to find any modular components. Apparently, the Probe's propulsion and navigation systems are completely integrated into the ship itself. While this is a very efficient design, it prevents us from learning any further details about the alien technology. The integrated design is also the reason for another important weakness: The Probe's power systems rely on exterior dissipation of excess energy. When engaged in high-speed maneuvers, the surplus energy is dispersed through the hull, resulting in a blue corona around the whole craft. WWII pilots have also already described this glow. If this method of energy dissipation is compromised by otherwise negligible-seeming exterior damage, the vessel is often consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system.

The swift, agile Probes rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions, often going completely unnoticed. Unarmed and only lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not terror and destruction, but surveillance and espionage. Probes appear to be commonly used to scout areas of interest, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about target zones before the deployment of larger vessels. These Alien surveys apparently include everything from basic geographic information to population size and local technology. This data is then most likely used for threat estimations and, the most terrifying prospect, for determining the ideal locations for local colonization - where to install an alien base. Wherever this small craft appears, follow-up missions with more dangerous UFOs are sure to follow.


Personnel is are to refrain from taking out captured probes "for a spin"

- Zombie
The Mr. Grognard of X-COM

Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.
A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.
A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.
They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,
of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!


#41 Mad

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Posted 23 November 2006 - 11:25 AM

I'm not entirey happy with all your changes, especially the reworded parts I don't like too much. The WWII sentence feels somehow too short to fit in the rest. However, this one might be ok, whereas I "rejected" your change to singular in the first sentence, because they is plural, so we need to keep the plural through the whole sentence. Or am I wrong here? However, I think it's reading strange... Sorry :)
3rd I think "in fact a single alien" sounds better than "a single alien in fact" Don't know why, it's just instict, so I 'm very open for discussion on this one.


PROBE UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Probe

The tiny size of these alien craft has caused a heated debate about whether they are actually piloted or just unmanned drones. X-Corps has come to name them "Probes" for this reason.

UFO sightings dating back to World War II can probably be attributed to these vessels. Reports show a remarkable similarity, although the reported UFO sizes differ wildly. We assume that these variations are probably the result byproduct? of very inaccurate distance estimations caused by incredible maneuverability. Historically dubbed "Foo Fighters", these Probes have obviously been used to scout our planet for decades.

Although the Probes' hull is not saucer-shaped, a casual glance at the craft in flight might give the impression of possessing rotational symmetry due to its dome-shaped main body, lined with a slightly glowing propulsion system. The craft/drone discussion has been resolved when we learned that in fact a single alien in fact, pilots the Probe. The interior is claustrophobic and coffin-like, barely large enough for the lone pilot, while why while? It's not an antilogy to the first part of the sentence. the walls are covered in Alien glyphs and devices of mostly unknown purpose. R&D recommends that X-Corps soldiers should refrain from trying to operate or touch any of them in the field.

In our analysis, we were not able to find any modular components. Apparently, the Probe's propulsion and navigation systems are completely integrated into the ship itself. While this is a very efficient design, it prevents us from learning any further details about the alien technology. The integrated design is also the reason for another important weakness: The Probe's power systems rely on exterior dissipation of excess energy. When engaged in high-speed maneuvers, the surplus energy is dispersed through the hull, resulting in a blue corona around the whole craft. WWII pilots have also already described this glow. If this method of energy dissipation is compromised by otherwise negligible-seeming exterior damage, the vessel is often consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system.

The swift, agile Probes rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions, often going completely unnoticed. Unarmed and only lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not terror and destruction, but surveillance and espionage. Probes appear to be commonly used to scout areas of interest, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about target zones before the deployment of larger vessels. These Alien surveys apparently include everything from basic geographic information to population size and local technology. This data is then most likely used for threat estimations and, the most terrifying prospect, for determining the ideal locations for local colonization - where to install an alien base. Wherever this small craft appears, follow-up missions with more dangerous UFOs are sure to follow.


Personnel are to refrain from taking out captured probes "for a spin"


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#42 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 23 November 2006 - 04:46 PM

Are you sure it's "Personnel are to..."? sounds awkward.

#43 Mad

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Posted 23 November 2006 - 05:54 PM

Are you sure it's "Personnel are to..."? sounds awkward.

Well, I'm pretty sure in AE it should be "is" but noone listens to me... ;)
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#44 dteviot

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Posted 23 November 2006 - 05:58 PM

Are you sure it's "Personnel are to..."? sounds awkward.

Yes it's "personnel are to", and yes, it's stilted, and yes, that's how government/military give those directives. Try googling for "personnel are to"
Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#45 kafros

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Posted 23 November 2006 - 09:50 PM


Are you sure it's "Personnel are to..."? sounds awkward.

Yes it's "personnel are to", and yes, it's stilted, and yes, that's how government/military give those directives. Try googling for "personnel are to"

Isn't it just like "the police are"??? I'm 100% sure about the police phrase, so I guess the same applies to personel, and to a "group" of people in general

Edited by kafros, 24 November 2006 - 05:10 AM.


#46 kafros

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Posted 24 November 2006 - 02:18 PM

PROBE UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Probe

The tiny size of these alien craft has caused a heated debate about whether they are actually piloted or just unmanned drones. X-Corps has come to name them "Probes" for this reason.

Although the Probes' hull is not saucer-shaped, a casual glance at the craft in flight might give the impression of possessing rotational symmetry due to its dome-shaped main body, lined with a slightly glowing propulsion system. The craft/drone discussion has been resolved when we learned that in fact a single alien pilots the Probe. The interior is claustrophobic and coffin-like, barely large enough for the lone pilot, with hull-intergrated controls, alien devices and glyphs of mostly unknown purpose. R&D recommends that X-Corps soldiers should refrain from trying to operate or touch any of them in the field.

In our analysis, we were not able to find any modular components. Apparently, the Probe's propulsion and navigation systems are completely integrated into the ship itself. While this is a very efficient design, it prevents us from learning any further details about the alien technology. The integrated design is also the reason for another important weakness: The Probe's power systems rely on exterior dissipation of excess energy. When engaged in high-speed maneuvering, the surplus energy is dispersed through the hull, resulting in a blue corona around the whole craft. WWII pilots have already described the same glow effect. Simulations indicate that once this method of energy dissipation is compromised by otherwise negligible-seeming exterior damage, the vessel is most likely consumed in a matter of seconds by its own propulsion system, just like reported by X-Corps pilots.

The swift, agile Probes rely on stealth and agility to accomplish their missions, often going completely unnoticed. Unarmed and only lightly armored, the threat these craft pose is not terror and destruction, but surveillance and espionage. Probes appear to be commonly used to scout areas of interest, exploring and recording vast amounts of data about target zones before the deployment of larger vessels. These alien surveys apparently include everything from basic geographic information to population size and local technology. This data is then most likely used for threat estimations and, the most terrifying prospect, for determining the ideal locations for local colonization. Wherever this small craft appears, follow-up missions with more dangerous UFOs are sure to follow.

UFO sightings dating back to World War II can probably be attributed to these vessels. Reports show a remarkable similarity, although the reported UFO sizes differ wildly, and indicate that these variations are corollary of very inaccurate distance estimations caused by the vessel's incredible maneuverability. Historically dubbed "Foo Fighters", these Probes have obviously been used to scout our planet for decades.

"Personnel are to refrain from taking out captured probes "for a spin".
- X-Corps Training Manual, revision 892

Edited by kafros, 24 November 2006 - 03:18 PM.


#47 Mad

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Posted 24 November 2006 - 03:32 PM

Very good. Zombie, what do you think?
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Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#48 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 24 November 2006 - 03:51 PM



Are you sure it's "Personnel are to..."? sounds awkward.

Yes it's "personnel are to", and yes, it's stilted, and yes, that's how government/military give those directives. Try googling for "personnel are to"

Isn't it just like "the police are"??? I'm 100% sure about the police phrase, so I guess the same applies to personel, and to a "group" of people in general

Try googling for 'personnel is to'.

Mad?

#49 kafros

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Posted 24 November 2006 - 03:59 PM

The problem with "personnel is" is the fact that the first hits are either sites with only "personnel" in them or silly blogs...... I trust "personnel are" more, even though the first hits on the last query are military-related sites xD (.gov most of them....)

#50 Mad

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Posted 24 November 2006 - 05:30 PM

I'll say this again: As I know it, it's "is" in American english, and "are" in british english. That's why you will most of the time find "are" in a dictionary. But then again, I'm not a native speaker, and if Zombie, who apparently is one (and one from "the states" too), says "are" is the correct term in this one, I have no real way of objecting.
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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