CTD - Flashpod

[Syntax Error]

Electro-flare:

 

This small object will be your best friend during the combat of night. With it, the soldier can illuminate a zone of ground during a few minutes, which is sufficient to locate an alien. To light the ground can also increase the range of the shooting, but also to make your soldier locate.

The electro-flare is used like a grenade.

[Breunor]

Hmm, I would put some additional details as to how it works, fake stats, etc. It's a simple device and doesn't involve fancy science like other entries, but might look a little odd with a significantly shorter entry.

 

Perhaps include something about having a high powered, short duration, capacitor capable of providing power to the omnidirectional bulb for up to 15 minutes. It is housed in an impact resistent shell, which is water resistent to 50 meters.

[Cartesian]

Perhaps it could use phosphor(escence).

[Breunor]

That would be a good choice, as the illumination doesn't extend very far from the device. What would be the benefits? I guess no chance for a light bulb to break, especially since they are thrown a lot. What about recharging them?

[Cartesian]

I dont know much about phosphorescence, but I can imgine it might be recharged by boiling it, or freezing it. There are some cool crazy things like that out there. Probably boiling it, now that I think about it (as it has to be put into a high energy state).

[Cpl. Facehugger]

Once again, and hopefully for the last time: It needs fluff text! (And a dev history if you want to make it longer)

 

"This thing is the best on night missions; just like normal flares, except they last longer." -Pvt. Bob

[Breunor]

You should know by now, supreme commander of Central Facehuggeria, that there's rarely a last time for most things...

 

Having some fluff text for all entries would be nice, but we can get to it as people come up with them. For example, "The original size of the flare was slightly increased to prevent future choking hazards for our soldiers." "Hey guys, check this out, I can make my face glow!" - Rookie Recruit Brian Malone, recently deceased from asphyxiation.

 

Edit: It's funny, many of the fluff text entries involve some new guy killing himself by doing something stupid. We can include moral lessons in the game in a roundabout way it seems!

Edited December 1, 2003 by Breunor

[Cpl. Facehugger]

Hehe. I suppose you are right. I never thought of that, leader of the Bruenorites.

[Syntax Error]

Electro-flare:

 

This system of lighting uses phosphorus 32 as reactive but do not depend any more with oxygen to emit light, a 9 volts accumuletor allows to dissipate a luminous power of 2mW to 80 mW during 5 minutes.

Based on PEL (Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence), the electro-flare is composed of two main parts, the accumulator is in the center of the flare and could be reloaded, the phosporus electroluminescence screen is in the translucent envelope. This screen is made with diodes doped in order to emit a visible radiation or ultraviolet ray when a current the cross-piece in the busy direction. The radiation emitted by a traditional PEL (red, green) is almost monochromatic. So we can obtain the white radiation, which is dichromatic or polychromatic according to the technique used, traditional PEL emit only around a given wavelength (spectral line), whereas the solar or incandescent white light emits on all the extent of the visible spectrum in a continuous and homogeneous way. Various methods are used to create white or pseudo-white light starting from PELs. Let us note that these methods are relatively recent since they are based all on the emission of PELs blue or UV, which were particularly complex to realize, and were marketed only since 1990. But the operation is very simple: while the current is running through the translucide walls of the electro-flare, diodes will poduces very intense light during 5 munites or more, it depends of the accumulator used, which is much longer than a traditional lighting-flare.

 

The electro-flare is used like a grenade and will be soldier’s best friend during the combat of night. With it, the soldiers can illuminate a zone of ground during a few minutes, which is sufficient to locate an alien. To light the ground can also increase the range of the shooting, but also to make you locate.

 

 

Note: "The original size of the flare was slightly increased to prevent future choking hazards for our soldiers." "Hey guys, check this out, I can make my face glow!" - Rookie Recruit Brian Malone, recently deceased from asphyxiation.

 

 

Do you understand every thing?

[j'ordos]

Electro-flare:

 

This screen is made with diodes doped in order to emit a visible radiation or ultraviolet ray when a current the cross-piece in the busy direction.  The radiation emitted by a traditional PEL (red, green) is almost monochromatic.

Do you mean 'LED'? (Light Emitting Diode)

Also, what are doped diodes? Diodes consist of two doped pieces of semiconductors, one piece is doped with an element that has a surplus e-, the other with an element that has an e- less, but how do you dope a diode?

[Syntax Error]

Hehehhe Mystery, i think nobody know that except XCOM engineers.

[mikker]

doped didoes...

 

...that sounds awfully fimmilar to "duppe ditter" with equals something technically that no-ones really cares for or understand.

[Breunor]

Hey, I'm doing the grammar thing with this text, and wanted to get some input from everybody about some names for the device. Once we narrow it down to 2-3 best picks, we can make a poll in the CTD meeting room for a final vote if that's needed. Since we can't use electro-flare, let's hear some other ideas.

 

Illumi-Flare

Flashpod

Light-Disc

 

Edit: Here's the edited text:

 

"Hey guys, check this out, I can make my face glow!" - Rookie Recruit Brian Malone, recently deceased.

 

The [electro-flare] is used like a grenade and will be a soldier’s best friend during night missions. A soldier can illuminate an area during combat with enough intensity to locate an alien without significantly impacting night vision. It significantly increases our weapon range and accuracy in low-light situations.

 

This lighting system uses phosphorus 32 as reactant but no longer depends on oxygen to emit light. A rechargeable 9-volt power accumulator provides luminous power for the duration of typical engagements. Based on PEL (Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence), the [electro-flare] is composed of two main parts. The accumulator is in the center of the device and can be recharged hundreds of times. A phosphorus electro-luminescence screen surrounds this power source in a translucent envelope. This screen is made with doped diodes in order to emit a visible radiation when stimulated by a current. The radiation emitted by a traditional PEL (in the red and green frequencies) is almost monochromatic. The [electro-flare] can emit polychromatic wavelengths using unique methods and special filters to create white or pseudo-white light from a PEL.

 

Note: The original size of the flare was slightly increased to prevent future choking hazards for our soldiers.

Edited December 18, 2003 by Breunor

[Puasonen]

I vote for flashpod.. Simple but not stupid. (If not too serious either)

[Robo Dojo 58]

Wait a minute. Are you saying that the rookie was in the middle of the most advanced military facility in the world, with a huge audience, and not ONE of them knew the Heimlich Maneuver? How depressing.

 

My sig must speak wonders, then. ::

 

--Edit: The Heimlich Maneuver. (sp?) CPR, what was I thinking? Oh, well. I guess both things come in the same basic medical training.

Edited December 18, 2003 by Robo Dojo 58

[Breunor]

It's true that they could have performed an emergency tracheotomy even if the heimlich didn't work. Assuming the couple of soldiers around him actually liked the guy and didn't just turn the other way. After telling dozens of "your mom's so fat" jokes and not getting any laughs, the guy turns to physical comedy. Everyone gets a kick out of his pantomime routine, pretending he's choking, but by the time they realise he really is, can't heimlich the thing out, and then find a pocket knife to preforate his throat, he's dead.

[Robo Dojo 58]

Yikes. I wonder how many rookies are going to be slaughtered after the first shipment of weaponry comes in.

 

Still... -_- "Most advanced facility in the world." They'd most likely have surgeons, an iron lung, oxygen tanks, and more medical supplies on hand. I find it hard to believe that the rookie would choke long enough (4 mins to starve the brain) to die. I could understand that he got burns in his lungs, and had to be permanently removed from duty.

 

How could they not tell that he's choking on it? His whole throat would glow! It'd be pretty hard to fake that.

[Cpl. Facehugger]

"He just ate a glow stick, thats all. Nothing to see here..."

[Breunor]

Now, deep down inside, we all know we'd rather have yet another rookie die playing with stuff, right? I think it will be a funny running joke, every time they learn something new in the game some unknown rookie bites the big one. Yeah, they would have everything they need to save the guy, assuming he choked at the base- it doesn't mention if it was before/during/after a mission, or in some other setting where it was hard to do much. I just think it's hilarious to kill off rookies at the drop of a hat!

 

Edit: Hey Cpl, you think we'd get in trouble if we included your quote?

"He just ate a glow stick, thats all. Nothing to see here..." -Officer Barbrady, visiting officer from South Park Colorado.

Edited December 20, 2003 by Breunor

[Robo Dojo 58]

Now, deep down inside, we all know we'd rather have yet another rookie die playing with stuff, right?

It'd definately fit in with the feel of the game, wouldn't it?

As long as my X-Corps insurance covers them, it's fine by me. :wink:

[RustedSoul]

i like the silence of the rookies idea.

 

for a name maybe you could use

 

magnesium nade, maybe even Syntax flare

 

other then that i would go for

Illumi-Flare or

Flashpod

[Breunor]

To get some closure on this entry, I'll check back after the holiday, and unless there's major changes I'll work in the recent points and we can consider it done.

[Syntax Error]

All right for Flashpod.

[Cartesian]

The CTD looks good and "flashpod"...I mean, its got 'pod' in it, how can you say no?

[[Blehm 98]]

okay dippy, another one done(flying through these, aren't I )

Flashpod_ctd.doc

Edited July 2, 2004 by blehm

[Astyanax]

red text = additions

orange text = deletions

blue text = comments

 

Flash pPod

X-Net://Pegasus.net/Weapons/Flash Pod

 

"Hey guys, check this out, I can make my face glow!" - Rookie Recruit Brian Malone, recently deceased. Moved to the end of the entry.

 

The Flash pPod is used like a grenade and will be a soldier’s best friend during night missions. A soldier can illuminate an area during combat with enough intensity to locate an aAlien without significantly impacting night vision. It significantly increases our effective Added because the “weapon range” itself doesn’t vary according to day-night cycles. weapon range and accuracy in low-light situations.

 

This lighting system uses phosphorus-32 as reactant but no longer depends on oxygen to emit light. A rechargeable 9-volt power accumulator provides luminous Recommend deletion of “luminous” as the accumulator isn’t providing the light, the phosphorus is (at least, that’s how I understand it). power for the duration of typical engagements. Based on PEL (Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence) Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence (PEL), Usually, acronyms are called out after the original name is written out. the Flash pPod is composed of two main parts. The accumulator is in the center of the device and can be recharged hundreds of times. A phosphorus Electro-luminescence screen surrounds this power source in a translucent envelope. Recommend joining the previous three sentences (“…two main parts, the accumulator in the center… and the PEL screen surrounding…”) This screen is made with doped Doped with what? Specify. diodes in order to emit a visible radiation when stimulated by a current. The radiation emitted by a traditional PEL (in the red and green frequencies) is almost monochromatic Previous sentence is vague; clarify. If I’m understanding this correctly, traditional PEL emits either monochromatic red or monochromatic green?. The Flash pPod can emit polychromatic wavelengths using unique methods and special filters Maybe a little too vague: it sounds too circumspect.  Perhaps add more detail to the “unique methods and special filters”? to create white or pseudo-white light from a PEL.

 

Note: The original size of the flare was slightly increased to prevent reduce the future choking hazards for presented to our soldiers.

 

"Hey guys, check this out, I can make my face glow!" - Rookie Recruit Brian Malone, recently deceased. Moved from the beginning of the entry.

This is an interesting read. It's a little short, but there are some parts that could be added to flesh this entry out.

 

- perhaps go into a little detail about the company that produces the Flash Pod.

 

- maybe mention that this version of the Flash Pod was first field-tested during the Gulf Reformation Wars, and they showed increased performance over the old (Electroflare) by XX greater lumens, XX longer duration, etc.

 

- speculate into why Aliens haven't ever been seen using similar equipment? Then again, I think the Flash Pod is available even before Aliens arrive, so maybe not.

 

-Asty

Edited February 1, 2005 by Astyanax

[[Blehm 98]]

found a more up to date version, this was supposed to be the version included into the game:

Flashpod

 

 

"Hey guys, check this out, I can make my face glow!" - Rookie Recruit Brian Malone, recently deceased.

 

The Flashpod is used like a grenade and will be a soldier’s best friend during night missions. A soldier can illuminate an area during combat with enough intensity to locate an alien without significantly impacting night vision. It significantly increases our weapon range and accuracy in low-light situations.

 

This lighting system uses phosphorus 32 as reactant but no longer depends on oxygen to emit light. A rechargeable 9-volt power accumulator provides luminous power for the duration of typical engagements. Based on PEL (Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence), the Flashpod is composed of two main parts. The accumulator is in the center of the device and can be recharged hundreds of times. A phosphorus Electro-luminescence screen surrounds this power source in a translucent envelope. This screen is made with doped diodes in order to emit a visible radiation when stimulated by a current. The radiation emitted by a traditional PEL (in the red and green frequencies) is almost monochromatic. The Flashpod can emit polychromatic wavelengths using unique methods and special filters to create white or pseudo-white light from a PEL.

 

Note: The original size of the flare was slightly increased to prevent future choking hazards for our soldiers.

Edited January 30, 2005 by blehm

[Guest Azrael]

FLASHPOD

X-Net://Pegasus.net/Equipment/Flashpod

 

The Flashpod is used like a grenade and will be a soldier’s best friend during night missions. A soldier can illuminate an area during combat with enough intensity to locate an enemy without significantly impacting night vision. It significantly increases our effective weapon range and accuracy in low-light situations.

 

This lighting system uses phosphorus-32 as reactant but no longer depends on oxygen to emit light. A rechargeable 9-volt power accumulator provides energy for the duration of a typical engagement. Based on Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence (PEL), the Flashpod is composed of two main parts: The accumulator; which is in the center of the device and can be recharged hundreds of times, and the PEL screen surrounding this power source in a translucent envelope. This screen is made with doped diodes in order to emit a visible radiation when stimulated by a current. The radiation emitted by a traditional PEL is monochromatic, either in the red or green frequencies. The Flashpod can emit in polychromatic frequencies using unique methods and special filters to produce white or pseudo-white light from a PEL.

 

"Hey guys, check this out, I can make my face glow!" - Rookie Recruit Brian Malone, recently deceased.

Note: The original size of the flare was slightly increased to reduce choking hazard presented to our rookies.

 

This entry is a little too vague in many points, as you mentioned, tried to fix as much as I can. Many of the explanations are based on that nobody understands squat except X-Corps engineers (as S.Error said in his post). But Flashpods are supposed to be created before X-Corps, or created for X-Corps but not by X-Corps. Maybe a little history on where it was created, by whom and for what?, also, it does not compare with today’s flares, these are supposed to be better, ok, why then?

[Guest Azrael]

This entry is a little too vague in many points, as you mentioned, tried to fix as much as I can. Many of the explanations are based on that nobody understands squat except X-Corps engineers (as S.Error said in his post). But Flashpods are supposed to be created before X-Corps, or created for X-Corps but not by X-Corps. Maybe a little history on where it was created, by whom and for what?, also, it does not compare with today’s flares, these are supposed to be better, ok, why then?

 

FLASHPOD

X-Net://Pegasus.net/Equipment/Flashpod

 

The Flashpod is used like a grenade and will be a soldier’s best friend during night missions. A soldier can illuminate an area during combat with enough intensity to locate an enemy without significantly impacting night vision. It significantly increases our effective weapon range and accuracy in low-light situations.

 

This lighting system uses phosphorus-32 as reactant but no longer depends on oxygen to emit light. A rechargeable 9-volt power accumulator provides energy for the duration of a typical engagement. Based on Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence (PEL), the Flashpod is composed of two main parts: The accumulator; which is in the center of the device and can be recharged hundreds of times, and the PEL screen surrounding this power source in a translucent envelope. This screen is made with doped diodes in order to emit a visible radiation when stimulated by a current. The radiation emitted by a traditional PEL is monochromatic, either in the red or green frequencies. The Flashpod can emit in polychromatic frequencies using unique methods and special filters to produce white or pseudo-white light from a PEL.

 

"Hey guys, check this out, I can make my face glow!" - Rookie Recruit Brian Malone, recently deceased.

Note: The original size of the flare was slightly increased to reduce choking hazard presented to our rookies.

[Astyanax]

Looking through this CT, I feel that this text needs to be fleshed out. It's pretty short, and it says nothing about how it's used, how it's activated, why X-Corps is using this particular flashpod. Additionally, (faces Azrael's wrath) I think the fluff could be replaced... Still, the existing text is good; we just need to add to it.

 

In an earlier post, I suggested a couple places where extra text could be added:

 

- historical uses/development of PEL technology/flash pods

 

- give a little detail about the company that produces the Flash Pod.

 

- maybe mention that this version of the Flash Pod was first field-tested during the Gulf Reformation Wars, and they showed increased performance over the old (Electroflare) by XX greater lumens, XX longer duration, etc.

 

I know there are people out there (*cough* applicants and recruits *cough*) that are trying to get a feel for the CTD. Well, you don't have to look much further now!

[Guest Azrael]

Additionally, (faces Azrael's wrath) I think the fluff could be replaced...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

That fluff is EXCELLENT!! Replace it and die!

Anyway , read all our comments in earlier threads when rewriting any text please

[Astyanax]

Additionally, (faces Azrael's wrath) I think the fluff could be replaced...

 

That fluff is EXCELLENT!! Replace it and die!

Anyway , read all our comments in earlier threads when rewriting any text please

(Sotto voce: or make a hands-down better fluff... )

 

And yes, please do read the previous comments- it'll help preserve a proofreader's sanity down the road.

Edited February 24, 2005 by Astyanax

[Sinscale17]

I guess it's my turn to complain about the thing nobody else seems to care about again.

 

FLASHPOD

X-Net://Pegasus.net/Equipment/Flashpod

 

The Flashpod is used like a grenade and will be a soldier’s best friend during night missions. A soldier can illuminate an area during combat with enough intensity to locate an enemy without significantly impacting night vision. It significantly increases our effective weapon range and accuracy in low-light situations.

 

"Used like a grenade"? This is not particularly accurate, nor is it good writing. Unlike a grenade, you don't set it, it is activated on impact with the ground. There is no explanation how the soldier illuminates the area here, and as the introductory paragraph, it serves as the most important introduction to the device, the technical blurb is purely secondary. And while I'm at it "impacting night vision" is poor grammar.

 

 

The Flashpod is a small, weighted ovoidal device, about the same size and weight as an ordinary grenade. Seemingly unremarkable, when thrown, the impact of landing activates the Flashpod, illuminating the surrounding area with a soft yellow glow, ideal for illuminating surroundings and revealing nearby targets in nighttime situations, without impeding the night vision of our operatives.

 

Once active, the internal power supply of a Flashpod will easily last several hours before needing to be recharged; more than enough time for even the longest battle to be concluded, and tough, shatter-proof and fire-resistant casing makes them unbreakable short of being caught in an explosive charge.

 

In order to prevent painting friendly targets, each Flashpod's circumferance has three concealed buttons situated at regular intervals. When all three buttons are pressed simultaneously, the device deactivates once more, until rethrown, allowing the same Flashpod to be reused several times over the course of a mission as needed without revealing the carrier to enemy fire.

 

 

The above is just a quick and dirty rough draught, but add something like the technical blurb to the end, and there should be significantly more information and body than the original. Something along those lines would be far better than what is currently there, at least in my own egotistical opinion. Make of it what you will.

[Moriarty]

Hi. I'm new here, but I guess I can start here as well as everywhere else

 

This lighting system uses phosphorus-32 as reactant but no longer depends on oxygen to emit light.

 

hmmm. two little things.

"phosphorus-32" why use a radioactive compound? the important thing - emitting light - does not need radioactivity (and if you want it there, it would have to be 32-Phosphorus afaik. nuclear number before the name)

 

the other thing is that in the system described, the phosphorus is not truly a reactant... it does not undergo any chemical change, but is stimulated by electricity.

 

my version would be:

 

This illumination system, like its predecessors, uses phosphorus as the most important component. The biggest change is that there is no chemical reaction involved; instead the system uses electrical stimulation to create a similar effect. This not only means that the new system is re-usable but also gets rid of the exothermic side-effects involved in the use of the previous versions.

 

"Well, this was long overdue. Those old flare-thingies kept going off inside my pockets." - Rookie Thomas "Firebutt" Richter

[mikker]

that fluff is great

 

What about using Xenon lights? They give off very good lights, and are used in car lights. They can light up so much that it's almost blinding. Could give a nice flashpod.

[Guest Azrael]

I still think the original fluff is excellent

[Moriarty]

I still think the original fluff is excellent 

 

I like the original fluff, too. is there any reason not to include two fluffs?

 

Xenon lights are bright, yes, but they also use a lot of energy afaik. plus they have this annoying blinding glare. that's why I vote for the electrically-stimulated chemoluminescence (or whatever you want to call it), because it can explain why our soldiers aren't blinded by the pods.

[Moriarty]

okay, here's a completely re-worked version. I tried to integrate something from everyone... tell me what you think:

 

 

Flashpod:

 

This area illumination system, like its predecessors, uses phosphorus as the most important component. The biggest change is that there is no chemical reaction involved; instead the system uses electrical stimulation to create a similar effect. This not only means that the new system is re-usable but also gets rid of the exothermic side-effects involved in the use of the previous versions.

 

"Well, this was long overdue. Those old flare-thingies kept going off inside my pockets." - Rookie Thomas "Firebutt" Richter

 

Based on PEL (Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence), the electro-flare is composed of two main parts. The accumulator resides in the center of the flare and can be reloaded quickly using the Flashpod-Quickcharge system at the base. The factory-default 250Ah accumulator allows for a luminous power of lasting at least 17 minutes, enough for most standard operations.

The phosporus electroluminescence screen is integrated into the translucent envelope. This tough, shatter-proof and fire-resistant casing makes them unbreakable short of being caught in an explosive charge. The spectrum of the emitted light has been designed to illuminate an area allowing early spotting and identification of enemies while not impairing the night-vision of our soldiers. This has been made possible by new fabrication techniques for PELs, suppressing those wavelengths that trigger the human eye's light-adaptation.

 

In order to prevent painting friendly targets, each Flashpod's casing has three concealed buttons situated at intervals easily accesible to human hands. When all three buttons are pressed simultaneously, the device deactivates until rethrown, allowing the same Flashpod to be used several times over the course of a mission as needed without revealing the carrier to enemy fire.

 

Note: The original size of the casing was slightly increased to prevent future choking hazards for our soldiers.

"Hey guys, check this out, I can make my face glow!" - Rookie Recruit Brian Malone, recently deceased from asphyxiation.

 

With the Flashpod, your soldiers are able to efficiently illuminate selected areas of the battlefield during nighttime missions. This makes it easier to spot enemies while advancing towards the target as well as allowing them to create a useful defense perimeter, preventing enemies from sneaking up on them.

[Astyanax]

Wow, very nice, Moriarty! I would expect no less from a Sherlock's archnemesis.

 

You've improved the text quite a bit- it reads much better than it did before.

 

A few comments:

 

2nd sentence: I'd change "biggest" (because it's a very generic term) to "largest" or "most significant".

 

2nd paragraph: Maybe instead of "luminous power" use "luminous output"?

 

3rd paragraph: Suggest instead of "makes them unbreakable short of being caught in an explosive charge", maybe "makes them (virtually impervious/virtually immune/highly resistant) to anything short of an explosive charge"?

 

3rd paragraph: "The spectrum of emitted light has been designed to illuminate an area" sounds somewhat redundant (light always illuminates)- perhaps "The spectrum of the emitted light has been designed to optimally illuminate the immediate vicinity"?

 

3rd paragraph: Just a question- isn't it the lack of light that causes human eye dilation rather than certain wavelengths of light?

 

Last paragraph: "...defense perimeter, preventing enemies from sneaking up on them" might sound better as "...defense perimeter to (prevent surprise attacks/deny the enemy the element of surprise)"?

 

As for the fluffs, two fluffs is all right, though one typically ends the text.

 

(Braces for contention) The reason why I dislike the original fluff is not because it lacks humor, but rather because it paints X-Corps soldiers as complete morons. This goes beyond the simple pranks or silliness that might actually happen with real people; it implies the soldiers are really, really juvenile. Choking hazard... with adults? Paint me skeptical.

 

Anyway, let me say this again: it looks very good, Moriarty! I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work!

 

-Asty

[mikker]

but asty, it's the complete stupidity that makes it fun!

 

Also: you might want to move the last paragraph up to the first. That seems to fit there more.

Edited February 25, 2005 by mikker

[dan2]

PEL (Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence)

 

Recent advances in nanotechnology brought us this marvelous semiconductive polymer, which is cheap to produce, moldable in any shape, light and able to transform power to light with unprecedented yield. While a filament bulb transforms only 1% of energy into light, the rest of energy is being transformed into heat. Fluorescent bulbs increase this yield to 4%. Light emiting diodes have really high yields (I think close to 40-80%, I have to find this), but the galium arsenide crystalls are to small to afford bright light. The material of choice, PEL, consists of macromolecules that can be doped with various cations, each responsable for certain emitted wavelenghts, so with careful doping a bright white light can be obtained. The material can be folded inside a stronger than steel plastic and voila... every soldier dreams come true

[Guest Azrael]

(Braces for contention) The reason why I dislike the original fluff is not because it lacks humor, but rather because it paints X-Corps soldiers as complete morons.  This goes beyond the simple pranks or silliness that might actually happen with real people; it implies the soldiers are really, really juvenile.  Choking hazard... with adults?  Paint me skeptical.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Don't tell me you didn't find it funny!

Anyway, good job Moriarty, this is definetely looking much better!, only one suggestion. When putting an acronym, please write first the whole name and then the acronym in (), like Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence (PEL), I don't know for sure if this is the correct rule in english, but it's what we've been using so far

Keep it up

[Astyanax]

(Braces for contention) The reason why I dislike the original fluff is not because it lacks humor, but rather because it paints X-Corps soldiers as complete morons.  This goes beyond the simple pranks or silliness that might actually happen with real people; it implies the soldiers are really, really juvenile.  Choking hazard... with adults?  Paint me skeptical.

Don't tell me you didn't find it funny!

Anyway, good job Moriarty, this is definetely looking much better!, only one suggestion. When putting an acronym, please write first the whole name and then the acronym in (), like Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence (PEL), I don't know for sure if this is the correct rule in english, but it's what we've been using so far

Keep it up

But I did say I disliked it not because it lacked humor- I disliked it for the juvenile reasons. I might be outnumbered here, but I think Moriarty's fluff is wittier.

 

And you're right about the acronym convention, Az.

 

I think Dan2's ideas can be worked in- they help explain the internal workings of the flashpod- but they'll have to be streamlined a bit imho, to reduce the technicality a notch or two.

Edited February 26, 2005 by Astyanax

[Moriarty]

alright, I integrated most of the comments, rephrased some things.

yes, Astyanax, you're right, absence of light causes pupil dilation. light adaptation has a few more things to it, though. there's the receptor cells moving their receptor parts into or out of a "dark" cell layer, there's recruitment of optical units in the retinal neural network, and probably some things happening in the brain's processing of the signals, too. and it is a common thing to use "specially designed light spectra" to fool these mechanisms... radiologists and photo technicians, who frequently go into or out of dark rooms, use red filters (really stupid-looking glasses) when in the light - red light doesn't trigger light adaptation as easily, so they can go back into the dark room without being blind for several minutes.

 

This is the new version:

 

Flashpod:

 

This area illumination system, like its predecessors, uses phosphorus as the most important component. The most significant change is that there is no chemical reaction involved; instead the system uses electrical stimulation to create a similar effect. This not only means that the new system is re-usable but also gets rid of the exothermic side-effects involved in the use of the previous versions.

 

"Well, this was long overdue. Those old flare-thingies kept going off inside my pockets." - Rookie Thomas "Firebutt" Richter

 

Based on Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence (PEL), the electro-flare is composed of two main parts.

The accumulator resides in the center of the flare and can be reloaded quickly using the Flashpod-Quickcharge system at the base. The factory-default 250Ah accumulator allows for a luminous output of lasting at least 17 minutes, enough for most standard operations.

The PEL screen has been made possible by recent advances in nanotechnology, allowing us to use a marvelous semiconductive polymer, which is cheap to produce, moldable in any shape, light and able to transform power to light with unprecedented yield. The material of choice consists of a macromolecule that can be doped with various elements, each creating a unique spectrum of emitted wavelenghts. After several attempts, a combination has been determined that produces a spectrum of emitted light which optimally illuminate the surrounding area allowing early spotting and identification of enemies while not impairing the night-vision of our soldiers. This has been made possible by suppressing those wavelengths that trigger the human eye's light-adaptation. The PEL is integrated into the translucent envelope of the device. This tough, shatter-proof and fire-resistant polymer casing makes them virtually impervious to anything short of being caught in an explosive charge.

 

 

In order to prevent painting friendly targets, each Flashpod's casing has three concealed buttons situated at intervals easily accesible to human hands. When all three buttons are pressed simultaneously, the device deactivates until rethrown, allowing the same Flashpod to be used several times over the course of a mission as needed without revealing the carrier to enemy fire.

 

Note: The original size of the casing was slightly increased to prevent future choking hazards for our soldiers.

"Hey guys, check this out, I can make my face glow!" - Rookie Recruit Brian Malone, recently deceased from asphyxiation.

 

With the Flashpod, your soldiers are able to efficiently illuminate selected areas of the battlefield during nighttime missions. This makes it easier to spot enemies while advancing towards the target as well as allowing them to create a useful defense perimeter to prevent surprise attacks by enemies moving in the shadows.

[mikker]

Flashpod:

 

With the Flashpod, your soldiers are able to efficiently illuminate selected areas of the battlefield during nighttime missions. This makes it easier to spot enemies while advancing towards the target as well as allowing them to create a useful defense perimeter to prevent surprise attacks by enemies moving in the shadows.

 

This area illumination system, like its predecessors, uses phosphorus as the most important component. The most significant change is that there is no chemical reaction involved; instead the system uses electrical stimulation to create a similar effect. This not only means that the new system is re-usable but also gets rid of the exothermic side-effects involved in the use of the previous versions.

 

"Well, this was long overdue. Those old flare-thingies kept going off inside my pockets." - Rookie Thomas "Firebutt" Richter

 

Based on Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence (PEL), the electro-flare is composed of two main parts.

The accumulator resides in the center of the flare and can be reloaded quickly using the Flashpod-Quickcharge system at the base. The factory-default 250Ah accumulator allows for a luminous output of lasting at least 17 minutes, enough for most standard operations.

The PEL screen has been made possible by recent advances in nanotechnology, allowing us to use a marvelous semiconductive polymer, which is cheap to produce, moldable in any shape, light and able to transform power to light with unprecedented yield. The material of choice consists of a macromolecule that can be doped with various elements, each creating a unique spectrum of emitted wavelenghts. After several attempts, a combination has been determined that produces a spectrum of emitted light which optimally illuminate the surrounding area allowing early spotting and identification of enemies while not impairing the night-vision of our soldiers. This has been made possible by suppressing those wavelengths that trigger the human eye's light-adaptation. The PEL is integrated into the translucent envelope of the device. This tough, shatter-proof and fire-resistant polymer casing makes them virtually impervious to anything short of being caught in an explosive charge.

 

In order to prevent painting friendly targets, each Flashpod's casing has three concealed buttons situated at intervals easily accesible to human hands. When all three buttons are pressed simultaneously, the device deactivates until rethrown, allowing the same Flashpod to be used several times over the course of a mission as needed without revealing the carrier to enemy fire.

 

"Hey guys, check this out, I can make my face glow!" - Rookie Recruit Brian Malone, recently deceased from asphyxiation.

Note: The original size of the casing was slightly increased to prevent future choking hazards for our soldiers.

 

If you won't do it, i'll do it for you

 

Edit by Azrael: moved the fluff above the note , that fluff has to be in this text.

Edited February 26, 2005 by Azrael

[Astyanax]

Just a few small suggestions. Otherwise, very nice! (sotto voce: ...except for that fluff... *hmph* )

 

The usual stuff: Red text indicates additions, orange text indicates deletions, and blue text indicates comments or suggestions.

 

Added [brackets] and capitalizations of the word "Alien" are not denoted, and British spellings are replaced with red-marked American spellings.

 

Flashpod:

 

With the Flashpod, your soldiers are able to efficiently illuminate selected areas of the battlefield during nighttime missions. This makes it easier for our soldiers to spot enemies while advancing towards the target as well as allowing them to create a useful defense perimeter to prevent surprise attacks by enemies moving lurking? in the shadows. Something bothers me about this sentence.  I think it's subject disagreement- the first half's subject ("this") refers to the ability to "illuminate selected areas", while the latter half's subject ("them") refers to the "soldiers".  Recommend splitting the two halves of this sentence into independent thoughts with specific subjects (not "this" or "them"), either as separate sentences, or separate clauses joined by a comma-conjunction, or semicolon.

 

This area illumination system, like its predecessors, uses phosphorus as the its most important component. Maybe: "However, the most significant..."? The most significant change is that there is no chemical reaction involved; instead, the system uses electrical stimulation to create a similar effect. This not only means that the new system is re-usable the but also gets rid of the exothermic side-effects involved in the use of the previous versions. Maybe: "This means that not only is the new system reusable, but it also rids this design of the undesirable exothermic properties prevalent in previous versions..."?

 

"Well, this was long overdue. Those old flare-thingies kept going off inside my pockets." - Rookie Thomas "Firebutt" Richter

 

Based on Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence (PEL), the electro-flare is composed of two main parts.

 

The accumulator resides in the center of the flare and can be reloaded quickly using the Flashpod-Quickcharge system at the base. The factory-default 250Ah accumulator allows for a luminous output of lasting at least 17 minutes, enough for most standard operations.

 

The PEL screen has been made possible by recent advances in nanotechnology, allowing us to use a marvelous semiconductive polymer, which is cheap to produce, moldable in any shape, lightweight, and able to can/capable of transforming? transform power to light with unprecedented yield. The Which material of choice are you referring to?  Maybe: "This screen is composed macromolecules that can be doped..."? material of choice consists of a macromolecule that can be doped with various elements, each creating a unique spectrum of emitted wavelenghts wavelengths. After several attempts Maybe: "After experimenting with several different combinations, one was chosen for its superior ability to produce a spectrum..."?, a combination has been determined that produces a spectrum of emitted light which optimally illuminates the surrounding area, allowing early spotting and identification of enemies Aliens? while not impairing the night-vision of our soldiers. This has been made possible by suppressing those wavelengths that trigger the human eye's light-adaptation. So does this mean the innovations of the flashpod make it very even more useful against the Aliens?  If so, I recommend changing "enemies" to "Aliens" in the previous sentence The PEL screen is integrated into the translucent envelope of the device. This tough, shatter-proof and fire-resistant polymer casing makes them the flashpod virtually impervious to anything short of being caught in an explosive charge.

 

In order to prevent painting friendly targets, each Flashpod's casing has three concealed buttons situated at intervals easily accesible to human hands. When all three buttons are pressed simultaneously, the device deactivates until rethrown, allowing the same Flashpod to be used several times over the course of a mission as needed without revealing the position of? the carrier to enemy fire.

 

"Hey guys, check this out, I can make my face glow!" - Rookie Recruit Brian Malone, recently deceased from asphyxiation.

Note: The original size of the casing was slightly increased to prevent future choking hazards for our soldiers.

I'm really liking this text.

 

But regarding a certain fluff, I can see which way the wind is blowing (*hmph*)... but I won't complain about it any more.

Edited February 26, 2005 by Astyanax

[Guest Azrael]

There are two more I really like, I suspect you won't like them either.

Rule 52: You may not eat flares, regardless of how 'cool' you look in the dark.

Rule 133: Greys do not glow in the dark. Unless you stick flares to them.

 

Cool, eh? , and stop 'hmph'ing at the fluff!, I think mikker wrote it, actually

[Astyanax]

Um, your suspicions are well placed...

 

Anyway, I did say I wouldn't complain about the fluff; maybe I should write some competing ones.

[Moriarty]

okay, next one

 

 

Flashpod:

 

With the Flashpod, our soldiers are able to efficiently illuminate selected areas of the battlefield.  This battlefield illumination is important during nighttime missions, as it makes it easier for our soldiers to spot enemies while advancing towards the target. It also allows them to create a useful defense perimeter to prevent surprise attacks by enemies lurking in the shadows.

 

This area illumination system, like its predecessors, uses phosphorus as its most important component. However, a significant improvement has been made in that there is no chemical reaction involved; instead, the system uses electrical stimulation to create a similar effect. This means that the new system is not only reusable but also does not exhibit the exothermic side-effects involved in the use of the previous versions.

 

"Well, this was long overdue. Those old flare-thingies kept going off inside my pockets." - Rookie Thomas "Firebutt" Richter

 

Based on Phosphorus Electro-Luminescence (PEL), the electro-flare is composed of two main parts: accumulator and PEL screen.

 

The accumulator resides in the center of the flare and can be reloaded quickly using the Flashpod-Quickcharge system at the base. The factory-default 250Ah accumulator allows for a luminous output of lasting at least 17 minutes, enough for most standard operations.

 

The PEL screen has been made possible by recent advances in nanotechnology, allowing us to use a marvelous semiconductive polymer, which is cheap to produce, moldable in any shape, lightweight, and capable of transforming power to light with unprecedented yield. The screen is composed macromolecules that can be doped with various elements, each creating a unique spectrum of emitted wavelengths. After experimenting with several different combinations, one was chosen for its superior ability to produce a spectrum of emitted light which does not impair the night-vision of our soldiers by suppressing those wavelengths that trigger the human eye's light-adaptation. The light emitted also optimally illuminates the surrounding area, allowing early spotting and identification of enemies.

 

The PEL screen is integrated into the translucent envelope of the device. This tough, shatter-proof and fire-resistant polymer casing makes the Flashpod virtually impervious to anything short of being caught in an explosive charge.

 

In order to prevent painting friendly targets, each Flashpod's casing has three concealed buttons situated at intervals easily accesible to human hands. When all three buttons are pressed simultaneously, the device deactivates until rethrown, allowing the same Flashpod to be used several times over the course of a mission as needed without revealing the position of the carrier to enemy fire.

 

"Hey guys, check this out, I can make my face glow!" - Rookie Recruit Brian Malone, recently deceased from asphyxiation.

Note: The original size of the casing was slightly increased to prevent future choking hazards for our soldiers.

 

 

 

 

So does this mean the innovations of the flashpod make it very even more useful against the Aliens?  If so, I recommend changing "enemies" to "Aliens" in the previous sentence

 

Actually yes and no. I assumed that the creators of the Flashpod knew nothing about Aliens, but to prevent blinding the soldiers was an issue. I don't know if the aliens actually "see" in a different electromagnetic spectrum, but if they do, yes, the flashpod becomes even more useful. The same is true for the concealed buttons, by the way... they were just designed for (human) comfort, but if that means that a Grey is actually physically unable to deactivate the thing, that's even better

[Astyanax]

Looks pretty good, Moriarty! Thanks for the clarification, too.

 

The comments:

 

orange=deletions, red=additions

The PEL screen has been made possible by recent advances in nanotechnology, allowing us to use a marvelous semiconductive polymer, which that is cheap to produce, moldable into any shape...

 

red=additions

The screen is composed of macromolecules that can be doped with various elements, each creating a unique spectrum of emitted wavelengths. After experimenting with several different combinations, one was chosen for its superior ability to produce a spectrum...

I wonder if it would be possible to actually state which combination of elements make the best doping cocktail- "one" is awfully evasive. You and Dan2 both seem to have a good grasp of the technicals (better than me, at least), maybe you guys can come up with some feasible ideas?

 

I'd change "increased" to "enlarged" in the final fluff line. Also, I'd re-word the same line because hazards cannot be prevented- they can be reduced or eliminated. Suggest: "The original size of the casing was slightly enlarged to prevent choking by our soldiers." But I anticipate some contention over this suggestion, so you might want to wait for a second opinion.

 

EDIT- Out of curiosity, what does "Ah" stand for in 250Ah?

Edited February 26, 2005 by Astyanax