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XCOMUFO & Xenocide

Submit Your Fluff Texts


Guest Azrael Strife

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There are some CTs which have no fluff texts, if we want them all with one, I'll need help from all of you, so post here and I'll add one of the suggestions to the ones that are going to V1.

The authors of the CTs have preference.

The texts without fluff texts are (that are being revised at the moment):

 

Ventriculant http://www.xcomufo.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=2724

Artopod Autopsy http://www.xcomufo.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5937

Terror-Disc http://www.xcomufo.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=2523

Viper http://www.xcomufo.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=1946

Grey Autopsy http://www.xcomufo.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5691

Morlock http://www.xcomufo.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=1961

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I'll submit the first suggestion, for Viper (might not be too good, I grant you that :))

 

"...Well, it's stupid, it seems like a half-snake half-man to me, why aren't we calling it the Snakeman?, ...what the heck do you mean by copyrights?"

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We have to admit that Azrael's is the most creative one. Unfortunately, I have to admit that most fluffy texts don't make me laugh, maybe it's my taste :P.

 

But, most of them are "clever", that's why I like them :D

Edited by kafros
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Okay, a bunch of texts have been finished, we still need fluff texts for Artopod Autopsy, Grey Autopsy (I want to see some more :)), and Silabrate. Come on people, let's see where the "creative" part of this deparment is :P
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It's a bit silly, but the hellenic version (which I though first) sounds funny indeed :D

Let's see...:

 

(Conversation between some young and newly-hired X-Corps scientists)

- Strange creatures... Great brain, but otherwise quite simple...

- Why don't they have hair?!?

- Because it would fall inside the mutilated bodies and would make a mess! :D

 

 

OKOK, DON'T SHOOT PLZ!!! :knockout:

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Artopod:

 

"Duuuuude, how do I get my hands on one of those?"

"Get telepathic powers."

"Erm..."

 

"Just like Mechwarrior!"

or

"I used to play with these guys in High School!"

or

"A walking 'mech eh? These guys have played too many videogames..."

 

"Man that big eye is freaky, its like its looking at me wherever a go..."

 

etc. etc.

 

Trying to throw out a bunch so maybe one will hit right ^_^

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Fluff for grenade:

"Take that you buggers! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!"

*BOOM*

"Heh heh heh... Nothing beats the Holy Hand Grenade!"

 

Nothing like good old Monty Python :wink1:

 

Anyway, I didn't put the exact name in the Alien Grenade fluff due to copyrights and what not so you might want to take another look at it.

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"What does aliens do when a rokiee throws a grenade at them? They pull out the safety pin, and throw it right back!" ~ Sargant Miiles Durton trying to be funny.

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v97/mikker/classic.gif

Edited by mikker
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Grey autopsy:

 

"And here I always thought that 'alien autopsy' video was faked..."

 

Somewhat cliched and very similar to what others have proposed, but...err...

 

Or how about,

 

"Alright, bring me one of the anal probes. I'm going to have to go in...manually..."

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Facehugger, no sexual reference (proofers make sure there arent in ready text too).

 

The Holy Hand is the Aleluya Granade of Worms (Pretty nasty to control, but man that one is good :master: to win the match... Even though nothing is even near from a Concrete Donkey)

 

Greetings

Red Knight

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Facehugger, no sexual reference (proofers make sure there arent in ready text too).

 

The Holy Hand is the Aleluya Granade of Worms (Pretty nasty to control, but man that one is good :master: to win the match... Even though nothing is even near from a Concrete Donkey)

 

Greetings

Red Knight

 

Ohh, I remember now, I love that donkey! :P

We seem to be all set with fluff texts for now (except for Silabrate... I'll look into it)

Edited by Azrael
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Woah! That's some asskicking ship! Just look at this design. It seems as if it has come out of a PC-Game!

 

- Rookie Paul Jones

 

And Azy...:

 

-Ohh, I remember now, I love that donkey! tongue.gif

We seem to be all set with fluff texts for now (except for Silabrate... I'll look into it)

-Qonfused, that fluff of yours won't work, what if you don't have heavy plasmas? haven't researched them or don't have any in storages?, please write another one smile.gif

-

-Good one, unfortunately the Silabrate has been finished, thanks for your help anyway

 

I didn't know that the Silabrate fluff was already done :(

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Woah! That's some asskicking ship! Just look at this design. It seems as if it has come out of a PC-Game!

 

- Rookie Paul Jones

 

And Azy...:

 

-Ohh, I remember now, I love that donkey! tongue.gif

We seem to be all set with fluff texts for now (except for Silabrate... I'll look into it)

-Qonfused, that fluff of yours won't work, what if you don't have heavy plasmas? haven't researched them or don't have any in storages?, please write another one smile.gif

-<silabrate fluff>

-Good one, unfortunately the Silabrate has been finished, thanks for your help anyway

 

I didn't know that the Silabrate fluff was already done :(

 

Hmmm, I should have deleted my post about that :P, that was my mistake, I got mixed up with other the Ventriculant one :hammer: .

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i am you daddy

 

then theres this:

 

"- I want to fly it

-no I want

-me first

-ohhhh NO PUSHING"

-X-Corp pilots.

 

Maybe....

 

"Oh my god, that baby's mine!"

"No way, i saw it first!"

"Go back to flying school, it's mine!"

"Hey! stop pushing back there!"

 

-X-Corp pilots.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Plasma Rifle or Heavy Plasma Clips

"So the only thing between me and hot, burning plasma death is a few layers of alloy? ummm...Hey rookie, test this!"

 

Seargent Phil: "The power of a thousand million suns in the palm of my hands!!! Muahahah!"

Intercom: "ATTENTION: PLASMA WEAPONRY HAS BEEN RECALLED FROM ALL SOLDIERS NAMED PHIL..."

Not-Phil: "Sorry Phil"

Phil: ":'("

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Gravity Barrier Defense:

 

"Y@u know, I h#@rd that #$^@US gove@$2^nt is testing out weather control devices... I m#%n, people are saying that some p/*ces have been having some really weird rain $#@wers that come right out of nowher--"

--User DKnight #@s been disc0nnected--

Excerpt from retrieved deleted IRC Log

Edited by tzuchan
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Gravity Defense Facility

"With this facility operational they'll be sitting ducks!"

"I always thought ducks were pretty fast, you know they run take off and then fly thousands of miles every year. I dunno that metaphor is a little disturbi..."

"OK *sigh* they'll be sitting ... snails ... Happy?"

"Very :banana: "

-please include the banana! :P

 

or maybe

 

"Ugh, I just got back from skydiving into the grav shield with some of the scientists."

"Oh yeah? How was it?"

"Horrible! I was in the air for 6 hours!"

 

 

Feel free to alter in any way if it makes it sound better.

 

P.S. Ever notice how I simply cannot write a serious fluff? I really tried this time too!

l o l

Edited by JakeDrake
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Gravity Barrier Defense:

 

"Y@u know, I h#@rd that #$^@US gove@$2^nt is testing out weather control devices... I m#%n, people are saying that some p/*ces have been having some really weird rain $#@wers that come right out of nowher--"

--User DKnight #@s been disc0nnected--

Excerpt from retrieved deleted IRC Log

 

doh, just got that, hadn't read the whole entry until now, good one, that goes in, thank you for your interest people, move along :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

LOL! These are hilarious! Anyway, I've tried, but my fluff texts aren't nearly this quality. I was thinking, maybe someone here could do Fusion Ball Defense fluff? If you still think I can do it, take a look at these pathetic attempts:

 

Commander: "Argh, UFO approaching base! Hanson, activate the Fusion Ball Turret!"

Hanson: "Gotcha, chief!"

Commander: "Activate the waypoints! Now, fire on my mark! Three, two, one. . ."

Hanson: "AHHH! MIGRAINE!"

 

The above one operates on the Mind-to-Machine waypoint system, but last I checked, we got rid of that concept, so this is a no-go. I don't know why I bothered posting it. Here's one that at least fits the entry to-date:

 

Commander: "Incoming UFO! It's heading riht for us! Arm the Fusion Ball Defense!"

Technician: "Waypoints are set!"

Commander: "Good, now, remember the damage radius of these things! We don't want to knock down that mountain!"

Technician: "Okay, the bugger's almost here. . .wait for it. . .OH NO, HE'S RIGHT NEXT TO THE BASE!

Commander: "YOU FOOL! I JUST TOLD YOU NOT TO F--"

-Final Transmission from X-2

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Fusion ball thingies:

 

Radar folks:"Radar to defense stations, enemy UFO detected."

Defense station commander:"Ready defenses, fire on my mark"

technician:"yes sir. Activating homing..."

*whoosh*

Defense station commander:"What the..."

Technician:"Ah crap, i knew i should have practiced with those buttons more..."

-Exerpt from Transmission Alpha 807-86, Code red base defense level-

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