114 replies to this topic

[Kikanaide]

So I refuse to start this post by saying that I came back from the dead...that seems to have become a pattern but...well...I would say the behavior's going to stop but it might not until next Friday, and then there's a vacation time in the before school starts. But the saying of it, yes, the saying will stop.

EDIT: would you believe I spent fifteen minutes trying to fix the quote tags, only to discover that the only problem was that I had one too many quotes? Note to all forum users: 10 is the maximum number of quotes allowed. And if you exceed it, be aware that it's not the ones after ten that quit working - it's all of them. With no warning.

"Plasma weapon" is a little vague; it is more accurately "aircraft plasma weapon".

I thought it was more of a distinction to let it remain unqualified...it is/will be the only aircraft plasma weapon in V1.0, so it will be the first human-designed one. Of course, the same argument almost applies to it being the only human-designed plasma weapon, if you don't count base defense..

Using Xenium "directly from base storage" ...

I'll try to find some way to address these concerns... good points.

Out of curiosity, why is the pilot doing this instead of maintenance crews?

Because I was about to make a joke Also b/c I don't know who all is on X-Corp payroll, and so I didn't know who I could slap in there without making a bit of a blunder. I be guessin' that part of the machine's "maintenance" is pilot pay...though I suppose you could say the same for a ground crew.

"Normal"?  Compared to what?

The other plasma weapons. You're right, though, I should make that more clear. Even if I think everyone shoul d have memorized my texts by now, when they are playing the game they probably will remember it for a good five minutes.

The last sentence sounds a bit strange... why are only confident pilots advised?  Imho, it would make more sense if the sentence says, "Pilots who want to live through the war are advised..."

And therein lies the joke...it's not like they are going to croak and fall over from exposure to radiation (if that happened, people wouldn't have been carrying radioactive materials around as "good luck charms" when they were first discovered). So only those who need be concerned about a life after the War need follow precautions...I have no idea why I found that funny, looking back, it isn't particularly.

There something confusing in the paragraph, and I'm not quite sure how to explain it.  I think it's because there is a change in the point of view and/or verb tense- "the pilot will place", "the pilot will add", "the weapon will... test", and then "Adding heavy water is the last step [for the pilot]" and "it too is tested".  Maybe it's because sentence 2 refers to an existing process, while the explanation of the processes are in future tense...?

Yes, there's a serious verb tense problem going on with this paragraph. My trouble was that I made it the pilot, who clearly can't have done it at the point this research is published, so I found myself in futuretense land. Which, frankly, is a nasty place to be. As you discovered with your next few comments.

I humbly suggest...

I arrogantly suggest you stop being so humble You realize you said that like ten times in that one post (although sometimes buried in acronyms)? Sorry, just had to comment on this one... we've worked together on too many of these things now for me not to know that your opinions are usually valid and always deserve consideration.

It may be confusing whether Xenium is a part of the plasma, or separate from it.  Maybe say, "The Xenium in the plasma burst is slowly consumed..."?

...the verb "consume"...

Case in point.

Perhaps be more specific about "UFO construction"- something like: "Research into UFOs and their ability to defy gravity may lead..."?

I was aiming for the name of the old topic, though I think that may be in error since it probably changed. I think I'll take that your suggestion unless you or I can think of a way to phrase it that clarifies that researching individual UFO's (i.e. the harvester) isn't the way to go. Though, again, it's just a preliminary sort of game hint...

Sorry, Kikanaide, if this post is messy.  I had a really difficult time trying to explain why paragraph 3 felt weird, plus I had to go back and revise some of my previous comments.

Come on man, pull yourself together...no, really, your stuff is always helpful even when I disagree with your suggestions, because it makes me think about what I'm saying and if you misunderstood then probably most people when.
Glad you like it better....I'm happier with it, although clearly I still need to do a lot of revision. Could you comment on some of my responses...particularly the pilot problem, and see if there's a way to salvage the humor there? Or at least add some water...hehe...I made another funny...wait, no, I probably didn't.

Edited by Kikanaide, 27 July 2005 - 03:47 PM.

[Astyanax]

Good to know what the quote tag limit is... let's see if I can get below 10 for this post. (Grr, I need to prune 3...)

So I refuse to start this post by saying that I came back from the dead...that seems to have become a pattern but...well...I would say the behavior's going to stop but it might not until next Friday, and then there's a vacation time in the before school starts.  But the saying of it, yes, the saying will stop.

No worries; I think people here tend to go in and out of an "enlightened half-life"- the grey area between life and death- that's what I be sayin', so sayeth I.

I thought it was more of a distinction to let it remain unqualified...it is/will be the only aircraft plasma weapon in V1.0, so it will be the first human-designed one.  Of course, the same argument almost applies to it being the only human-designed plasma weapon, if you don't count base defense..

Ok, I see what you mean. You're right, of course; I sort of skimmed over and noticed "plasma weapon" and missed "human-designed". Maybe emphasize "design" more: "human plasma weapon design"? On another note, (maybe this is too nitpicky) why did humans design a craft weapon first? It sort of seems that a hand model would make more sense when working with unknown technologies. Maybe it was difficult to improve on the Aliens' efficient handheld designs, and the need for an improved craft weapon was great?

Because I was about to make a joke Also b/c I don't know who all is on X-Corp payroll, and so I didn't know who I could slap in there without making a bit of a blunder.  I be guessin' that part of the machine's "maintenance" is pilot pay...though I suppose you could say the same for a ground crew.

If my understanding is correct, there's a fair number of base personnel that are associated with the facility when it is bought; I'd guess the maintenance crews would take care of this. Additionally, I don't think the other craft weapon CTs have pilot maintenance, so it's kind of weird if this is the only weapon pilots have to service.

Yes, there's a serious verb tense problem going on with this paragraph.  My trouble was that I made it the pilot, who clearly can't have done it at the point this research is published, so I found myself in futuretense land.  Which, frankly, is a nasty place to be.  As you discovered with your next few comments.

Yes, futuretense land = evil. You could probably get away with mostly present tense if someone's explaining the process (e.g. "First, the pilot walks to the reactor and removes out the control rods. Then he stands there as the reactor explodes." Hopefully, this has never happened, but a person explaining the process can stay mostly in present tense despite this). I think the present tense version in my last post is fairly valid, though.

I humbly suggest...

I arrogantly suggest you stop being so humble You realize you said that like ten times in that one post (although sometimes buried in acronyms)? Sorry, just had to comment on this one... we've worked together on too many of these things now for me not to know that your opinions are usually valid and always deserve consideration.

I can't believe you actually counted! But you're right, ten is an awful lot (though not enough for quote tags, it appears), and I guess I don't need to be humble... you arrogant rat-bastard.

Perhaps be more specific about "UFO construction"- something like: "Research into UFOs and their ability to defy gravity may lead..."?

I was aiming for the name of the old topic, though I think that may be in error since it probably changed. I think I'll take that your suggestion unless you or I can think of a way to phrase it that clarifies that researching individual UFO's (i.e. the harvester) isn't the way to go. Though, again, it's just a preliminary sort of game hint...

Hm, the topic is still "UFO Construction". Sorry, I misunderstood. Um, maybe capitalize "construction"?

Come on man, pull yourself together...no, really, your stuff is always helpful even when I disagree with your suggestions, because it makes me think about what I'm saying and if you misunderstood then probably most people when.

Thanks for saying so. I'm glad it's helpful.

Glad you like it better....I'm happier with it, although clearly I still need to do a lot of revision.  Could you comment on some of my responses...particularly the pilot problem, and see if there's a way to salvage the humor there?  Or at least add some water...hehe...I made another funny...wait, no, I probably didn't.

I'm sorry, humor is tougher to express in text form, and I'm afraid I'm not catching your subtle humor. Of course, I've noticed that there are many disparate senses of humor around here (see the fluff analysis thread), so this is nothing new to me.

[Kikanaide]

[PLASMA CANNON]
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Armament/[Plasma Cannon]

The [plasma cannon] is a product of X-Corps research into the Aliens' plasma weaponry, and represents the first human plasma weapon design. The research team has done its work well - the [plasma cannon] easily outperforms every conventional weapon system in terms of damage output, and outranges them all save for the [Titan] missile. Unlike other plasma weapons, the [plasma cannon] does not require separately manufactured clips. Instead, it includes a system which performs all of the required processing, allowing the reactants to be pumped directly into the weapon's storage tanks.

X-Corps scientists have improved the efficiency, muzzle velocity, and range compared to personnel plasma weapons, and added mechanisms to evenly mix reactants and fire plasma under the combat velocities and accelerations of our intercept craft. They have also increased the size of the device far above that of a handheld device, and redesigned the ammunition system to allow for clipless operation. While aircraft weight limitations and the physical size of the containers dictate that only a finite amount of ammunition can be carried, its 99 shot capacity should be sufficient for any encounter.

The ammunition system has been totally refurbished, and is more complex than its predecessors. Adding ammunition is a three-step process, but is very simple and will be performed by aircraft maintenance crews instead of engineers. First, the crewmember places Xenium inside a small chamber located on the side of the weapon, where an X-ray laser fractures it into the powder used in all plasma weapons. Then, a mixture of shredded uranium, iron, and carbon is added to form the gel. The weapon automatically tests the gel for purity and places it in the ammunition tank if it passes. Adding heavy water is the last step, which is as simple as pouring it into a third opening, though it too is tested for purity to avoid contamination and possible plasma destabilization. The radiation dosage from the uranium should be relatively small, though all crewmembers must wear radiation counters and follow standard safety precautions.

Aside from the above-mentioned alterations, the [plasma cannon] operates in the same manner as handheld plasma weapons, with the usual two-mixture ammunition and EM-triggered explosion. Eight magnetodynamic prongs collimate the burst. The Xenium in the plasma burst is slowly consumed even after the shot leaves the barrel, but enough is present in each burst to maintain a coherent gravity bubble for 52km. This gravity bubble bursts upon striking the target, releasing the superheated contents. The plasma then spreads outward rapidly and consumes any materials in its wake. Although we expect UFOs to possess some partial immunity to plasma weaponry due to the heat-resistant nature of Alien Composites, the incredible power of the plasma cannon ensures that an impressive amount of damage will be inflicted. Against Alien Composites, the [plasma cannon] is 65x as effective as a [cannon], 10x as effective as a [Sidewinder], and 6.5x as effective as a [Titan], before considering differences in range or ammunition capacity.

Just noticed that the verb "consume" is used in sentences 3 and 5- this may be too close together?

...I can't find a synonym in my brain...help?

A scaled-down [plasma cannon] could conceivably be mounted on an XCAP. However, preliminary research indicates that a conventional, treaded XCAP, although able to support the weight of the equipment, would be difficult to maneuver and would run a high risk of being stuck in difficult terrain. Research into the design principles of UFO's may lead to new XCAP designs that can address this.

"At first I was skeptical, wondering how it could do all that much damage - it's not like it uses explosives or anything. After they tested it, the target was gone and part of the back wall had melted away. I never questioned the weapon after that."

I'm sorry, humor is tougher to express in text form, and I'm afraid I'm not catching your subtle humor.  Of course, I've noticed that there are many disparate senses of humor around here (see the fluff analysis thread), so this is nothing new to me.

- That particular joke (about adding water) was in reference to how dry my humor is. Don't ask me to explain the pilot one. It's gone now, and shall not be mentioned again.

[Mad]

Just noticed that the verb "consume" is used in sentences 3 and 5- this may be too close together?

...I can't find a synonym in my brain...help?

1st one might be: absorbed, used, expended
2nd might be: anhilated

[Kikanaide]

Excellent, thank you Mad. Expended would be perfect for the first, and then the other can stay.

[Astyanax]

Hey Kikanaide! It's been a while, but I've got to go to sleep soon, so just a few things while I'm skimming through (school starts Monday and I've been busy).

In the last sentence of paragraph 2, "physical size of the containers" seems a bit unwieldy. I know I'm nitpicking, but "storage capacity", "container dimensions", or "hardpoint size"? Or maybe "...aircraft weight and volume limitations"?

Adding ammunition is a three-step process, but is very simple and will be performed by aircraft maintenance crews instead of engineers.

I'm operating under the assumption that aircraft maintenance crews handle *all* aspects of weapon loading and repairs... if this is indeed the case, mentioning it here is redundant. Maybe (with some embellishments): "Adding ammunition is a three-step process simple enough to be performed by even the most inexperienced aircraft maintenance crew member..."?

In explaining the process of loading ammunition, maybe describe it without the "who's doing it"? Sort of like (again, with some embellishments ): "First, Xenium is placed inside a small chamber located on the side of the weapon, where it is fractured into a powder by an integrated X-ray laser. A mixture of shredded uranium, iron, and carbon is added to the powderized Xenium to form a gel. This gel is tested thoroughly for purity before being sent to the storage tank. The addition of highly-purified heavy water to the gel completes the ammunition loading process. Care should be taken to avoid contamination, which may result in destructive plasma destabilization. Though the radiation dosage from the uranium component is infinitesimal, all crewmembers are required to wear radiation counters and adhere to standard safety precautions."

The "the gel" mentioned in paragraph 3 bothered me a bit; it implies that you mentioned "the gel" somewhere previously. "A gel" implies it's the first time you're mentioning it (which is why I used it in the suggestion above).

Anyway, it's looking good, Kikanaide. It's the best the text has looked since we all found out about the Plasma Cannon's Xenium ammunition consumption.

[Kikanaide]

[PLASMA CANNON]
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Armament/[Plasma Cannon]

The [plasma cannon] is a product of X-Corps research into the Aliens' plasma weaponry, and represents the first human plasma weapon design. The research team has done its work well - the [plasma cannon] easily outperforms every conventional weapon system in terms of damage output, and outranges them all save for the [Titan] missile. Unlike other plasma weapons, the [plasma cannon] does not require separately manufactured clips. Instead, it includes a system which performs all of the required processing, allowing the reactants to be pumped directly into the weapon's storage tanks. 

X-Corps scientists have improved the efficiency, muzzle velocity, and range compared to personnel plasma weapons, and added mechanisms to evenly mix reactants and fire plasma under the combat velocities and accelerations of our intercept craft.  They have also increased the size of the device far above that of a handheld device, and redesigned the ammunition system to allow for clipless operation.  While aircraft mass and volume limitations dictate that only a finite amount of ammunition can be carried, its 99 shot capacity should be sufficient for any encounter.

The ammunition system has been totally refurbished, and is more complex than its predecessors. Adding ammunition is a three-step process simple enough to be performed by even the most inexperienced aircraft maintenance crew member. First, Xenium is placed inside a small chamber located on the side of the weapon, where it is fractured into powder by an integrated X-ray laser. A mixture of shredded uranium, iron, and carbon is added to the powderized Xenium to form a gel. The addition of highly-purified heavy water to the gel completes the ammunition loading process. Due to the potential danger of plasma destabilization, the weapon includes systems to automatically test all materials for purity before use. Though the radiation dosage from the uranium component is infinitesimal, all crewmembers are required to wear radiation counters and adhere to standard radiation safety precautions.

Aside from the above-mentioned alterations, the [plasma cannon] operates in the same manner as handheld plasma weapons, with the usual two-mixture ammunition and EM-triggered explosion. Eight magnetodynamic prongs collimate the burst.  The Xenium in the plasma burst is slowly expended even after the shot leaves the barrel, but enough is present in each burst to maintain a coherent gravity bubble for 52km. This gravity bubble bursts upon striking the target, releasing the superheated contents.  The plasma then spreads outward rapidly and consumes any materials in its wake.  Although we expect UFOs to possess some partial immunity to plasma weaponry due to the heat-resistant nature of Alien Composites, the incredible power of the plasma cannon ensures that an impressive amount of damage will be inflicted. Against Alien Composites, the [plasma cannon] is 65x as effective as a [cannon], 10x as effective as a [Sidewinder], and 6.5x as effective as a [Titan], before considering differences in range or ammunition capacity.

A scaled-down [plasma cannon] could conceivably be mounted on an XCAP.  However, preliminary research indicates that a conventional, treaded XCAP, although able to support the weight of the equipment, would be difficult to maneuver and would run a high risk of being stuck in difficult terrain.  Research into the design principles of UFO's may lead to new XCAP designs that can address this.

"At first I was skeptical, wondering how it could do all that much damage - it's not like it uses explosives or anything. After they tested it, the target was gone and part of the back wall had melted away. I never questioned the weapon after that."

Those additions looked great, Asty. In my mind they didn't need much embellishment at all.

I was beginning to wonder if I'd have to give the topic a bump to make people notice it Any other suggestions, everyone? Comments, questions, concerns?

[Kikanaide]

[PLASMA CANNON]
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Armament/[Plasma Cannon]

The [plasma cannon] is a product of X-Corps research into the Aliens' plasma weaponry, and represents the first human plasma weapon design. The research team has done its work well - the [plasma cannon] easily outperforms every conventional weapon system in terms of damage output, and outranges them all save for the [Titan] missile. Unlike other plasma weapons, the [plasma cannon] does not require separately manufactured clips. Instead, it includes a system which performs all of the required processing, allowing the reactants to be pumped directly into the cannon's storage tanks. 

X-Corps scientists have improved the efficiency, muzzle velocity, and range compared to personnel plasma weapons, and added mechanisms to evenly mix reactants and fire plasma under the combat velocities and accelerations of our intercept craft.  They have also increased the size of the device far above that of a handheld device, and redesigned the ammunition system to allow for clipless operation.  While aircraft mass and volume limitations dictate that only a finite amount of ammunition can be carried, its 99 shot capacity should be sufficient for any encounter.

The ammunition system has been totally refurbished, and is more complex than its predecessors. Adding ammunition is a three-step process simple enough to be performed by even the most inexperienced aircraft maintenance crew member. First, Xenium is placed inside a small chamber located on the side of the cannon, where it is fractured into powder by an integrated X-ray laser. A mixture of shredded uranium, iron, and carbon is added to the powderized Xenium to form a gel. The addition of highly-purified heavy water to the gel completes the ammunition loading process. Due to the potential danger of plasma destabilization, the cannon includes systems to automatically test all materials for purity before use. Though the radiation dosage from the uranium component is infinitesimal, all crewmembers are required to wear radiation counters and adhere to standard radiation safety precautions.

Aside from the above-mentioned alterations, the [plasma cannon] operates in the same manner as handheld plasma weapons, with the usual two-mixture ammunition and EM-triggered explosion. Eight magnetodynamic prongs collimate the burst.  The Xenium in the plasma burst is slowly expended even after the shot leaves the barrel, but enough is present in each burst to maintain a coherent gravity bubble for 52km. This gravity bubble bursts upon striking the target, releasing the superheated contents.  The plasma then spreads outward rapidly and consumes any materials in its wake.  Although we expect UFOs to possess some partial immunity to plasma weaponry due to the heat-resistant nature of Alien Composites, the incredible power of the plasma cannon ensures that an impressive amount of damage will be inflicted. Against Alien Composites, the [plasma cannon] is 65x as effective as a [cannon], 10x as effective as a [Sidewinder], and 6.5x as effective as a [Titan], before considering differences in range or ammunition capacity.

A scaled-down [plasma cannon] could conceivably be mounted on an XCAP.  However, preliminary research indicates that a conventional, treaded XCAP, although able to support the weight of the equipment, would be difficult to maneuver and would run a high risk of being stuck in difficult terrain.  Research into the design principles of UFO's may lead to new XCAP designs that can address these concerns.

"At first I was skeptical, wondering how it could do all that much damage - it's not like it uses explosives or anything. After they tested it, the target was gone and part of the back wall had melted away. I never questioned the cannon after that."

Good idea, Az. Changed four or five that I think were the offenders. Also slight change (this -> these concerns) in last non-fluff paragraph.

[Moriarty]

I like it, too one small thing:

...under the combat velocities and accelerations of our intercept craft.

might change this to something like "under combat flight conditions. The system is stable enough to allow operation under velocities and accelerations far greater than standard military craft are able to achieve."

(just for continuity's sake... you don't know at which point in the game the player researches the Plasma Cannon, so we can't talk about advanced intercept craft yet, but at the same time, we have to say that it still works later in the game)

[Kikanaide]

@Moriarity - That's an excellent point.

@Azrael - I take it by saying they are final names, you want me to remove the brackets?

[Kikanaide]

PLASMA CANNON
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Armament/Plasma Cannon

The plasma cannon is a product of X-Corps research into the Aliens' plasma weaponry, and represents the first human plasma weapon design. The research team has done its work well - the plasma cannon easily outperforms every conventional weapon system in terms of damage output, and outranges them all save for the Titan missile. Unlike other plasma weapons, the plasma cannon does not require separately manufactured clips. Instead, it includes a system which performs all of the required processing, allowing the reactants to be pumped directly into the cannon's storage tanks. 

The X-Corps has improved the efficiency, muzzle velocity, and range compared to personnel plasma weapons, and added mechanisms to evenly mix reactants and fire plasma under combat flight conditions. The system is stable enough to allow operation under velocities and accelerations far greater than standard military craft are able to achieve. X-corps researchers have also increased the size of the cannon far above that of a handheld device, and redesigned the ammunition system to allow for clipless operation.  While aircraft mass and volume limitations dictate that only a finite amount of ammunition can be carried, its 99 shot capacity should be sufficient for any encounter.

The ammunition system has been totally refurbished, and is more complex than its predecessors. Adding ammunition is a three-step process simple enough to be performed by even the most inexperienced aircraft maintenance crew member. First, Xenium is placed inside a small chamber located on the side of the cannon, where it is fractured into powder by an integrated X-ray laser. A mixture of shredded uranium, iron, and carbon is added to the powderized Xenium to form a gel. The addition of highly-purified heavy water to the gel completes the ammunition loading process. Due to the potential danger of plasma destabilization, the cannon includes systems to automatically test all materials for purity before use. Though the radiation dosage from the uranium component is infinitesimal, all crewmembers are required to wear radiation counters and adhere to standard radiation safety precautions.

Aside from the above-mentioned alterations, the plasma cannon operates in the same manner as handheld plasma weapons, with the usual two-mixture ammunition and EM-triggered explosion. Eight magnetodynamic prongs collimate the burst.  The Xenium in the plasma burst is slowly expended even after the shot leaves the barrel, but enough is present in each burst to maintain a coherent gravity bubble for 52km. This gravity bubble bursts upon striking the target, releasing the superheated contents.  The plasma then spreads outward rapidly and consumes any materials in its wake.  Although we expect UFOs to possess some partial immunity to plasma weaponry due to the heat-resistant nature of Alien Composites, the incredible power of the plasma cannon ensures that an impressive amount of damage will be inflicted. Against Alien Composites, the plasma cannon is 10x as effective as a Sidewinder, and 6.5x as effective as a Titan, before considering differences in range or ammunition capacity.

A scaled-down plasma cannon could conceivably be mounted on an XCAP.  However, preliminary research indicates that a conventional, treaded XCAP, although able to support the weight of the equipment, would be difficult to maneuver and would run a high risk of being stuck in difficult terrain.  Research into the design principles of UFO's may lead to new XCAP designs that can address these concerns.

"At first I was skeptical, wondering how it could do all that much damage - it's not like it uses explosives or anything. After they tested it, the target was gone and part of the back wall had melted away. I never questioned the cannon after that."

What about when I refer to the original (crap) cannon?...does it have a different name or do the words that I switched from "weapon" to "cannon" now cause confusion? I removed all references to the original cannon for now to avoid it, but if it has a different name let me know.

Edited by Kikanaide, 31 August 2005 - 07:27 AM.