CTD - Assault Rifle

[Tsereve]

You're actually saying I'm right? In public?

[Guest Azrael]

Yep, but don't get too used to it, I'll be back to saying you're wrong in no time

[Tsereve]

But until then. . .you said I'm right? In front of witnesses and all?

[Moriarty]

sooo... what should the final sentence be? any suggestions?

[Tsereve]

Another highly sophisticated component of the weapon is its sight, which gives the soldier unparalleled accuracy in single shot mode.

 

"Sighting mechanism" would also work, but would that be redundant?

[Guest Azrael]

I suggest: "Another highly sophisticated component of the weapon is its scope, which gives the soldier unparalleled accuracy in single shot mode, possesing a combined 4x optical magnification system, a built-in residual light amplification and a thermal imaging processor (for night operations and degraded visibility environments)."

[Tsereve]

Maybe tweak that a bit:

 

"Another highly sophisticated component of the weapon is its scope, which gives the soldier unparalleled accuracy in single shot mode, possesing a combined 4x optical magnification system, a built-in residual light amplification and a thermal imaging processor. This makes the Assault Rifle an excellent weapon to carry during night missions or when visibility is limited."

[Guest Azrael]

I like it (Wow, you're right TWICE IN A ROW!!), the parenthesis didn't look too good there, nice one.

[Tsereve]

 

I'm getting a screenie of this!

[Astyanax]

you guys! I want to be right, too!

 

Another highly sophisticated component of the weapon is its scope, which gives the soldier unparalleled accuracy in single shot mode, possessing a combined 4x optical magnification system, a built-in residual light amplification and a thermal imaging processor. This makes the Assault Rifle an excellent weapon for night missions or when visibility is limited.

(added an "s" in "possessing", changed "to carry during" to "for")

 

Hm, maybe consider changing "possessing" to "consisting of". If the scope is comprised of ONLY "a combined 4x optical magnification system, a built-in residual light amplification and a thermal imaging processor", use "consisting of". If the scope has other parts that aren't mentioned, keep "possessing".

Edited June 6, 2005 by Astyanax

[Guest Azrael]

you guys!  I want to be right, too!

 

Another highly sophisticated component of the weapon is its scope, which gives the soldier unparalleled accuracy in single shot mode, possessing a combined 4x optical magnification system, a built-in residual light amplification and a thermal imaging processor. This makes the Assault Rifle an excellent weapon for night missions or when visibility is limited.

(added an "s" in "possessing", changed "to carry during" to "for")

 

Hm, maybe consider changing "possessing" to "consisting of". If the scope is comprised of ONLY "a combined 4x optical magnification system, a built-in residual light amplification and a thermal imaging processor", use "consisting of". If the scope has other parts that aren't mentioned, keep "possessing".

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Sounds better. You're right

[Stow]

I would recommend that you call it an "optic" instead of a "scope". Just my 2 cents...

[Tsereve]

Well, adding "optic" would define it as of or pertaining to sight or eyes or something. The relevant definition of the word "sight" (as stated prior) already contains this reference, making the addition of this word redundant.

[Moriarty]

sooo... for all the right ones, here's the complete integrated version:

 

[LIGHT RIFLE]

X-Net://Pegasus.net/Weapons/[Rifle]

 

Since the creation of gunpowder, the standard ground military weapon has been a rifle, in one form or another. When it became obvious that a multi-national task force had to be created, a fundamental problem soon arose: Integration. Almost every nation’s armed forces used a different weapon with its own ammunition type, which would quickly lead to logistical problems out in the field.

Thus X-Corps Command approached several arms manufacturers through unofficial government channels, offering a joint contract for the designing and manufacturing of a new advanced standard-issue rifle.

Although the fear of intellectual property theft generated some reluctance, the immediate Alien threat and the offer of an initial large, undisclosed sum of money overcame their reservations. In exchange, they would create a revolutionary rifle to which they would collectively retain the relevant patents and copyrights, but limit their sales exclusively to the X-Corps for the duration of the Alien menace.

 

The [Light Rifle] is the result of their efforts. It is powerful, accurate and built for extreme conditions. In addition to these strong points,  it is shorter and lighter than most other rifles, making it extremely handy in tight situations. Two firing modes are implemented; a thumb-activated selector switch allows the soldier to change firing modes from single shot to three-round burst. Fully automatic firing, although technically possible, was omitted for ammunition conservation reasons.

 

The [Light Rifle] uses a high-kinetic propellant caseless ammunition system very similar to the [X-Corps PISTOL]. The increased propellant mass compared to conventional ammunition is capable of accelerating the bullets to very high speeds, while at the same time leaving no spent cartridges at the scene of battle. Steel-tipped bullets are accountable for good armor-piercing capabilities, and a lead body ensures a high stopping power.

The increased recoil associated with high muzzle velocities is partly compensated via a pneumatic buffering system as well as a field-moldable shoulder piece made from memory plastics which guarantees a large rifle-shoulder contact area, minimizing recoil sores.

Another highly sophisticated component of the weapon is its scope, which gives the soldier unparalleled accuracy in single shot mode, possessing a combined 4x optical magnification system, a built-in residual light amplification and a thermal imaging processor. This makes the Assault Rifle an excellent weapon for night missions or when visibility is limited.

 

X-Corps employs the [Light Rifle] as standard equipment.

For special purposes, X-Corps tactical analysts recommend the use of specialized weapons, such as explosives for wide-area destruction and large-caliber automatic weaponry for heavily armored opponents. For standard combat situations, however, the [Light Rifle] has been unanimously voted "weapon of choice".

[Tsereve]

Isn't "high-kinetic" kind of implied in "propellent" when you're talking about bullets?

 

And use of the word "scope" might give people the wrong idea, as in the scope of the weapon's usefulnes or the whatnot.

 

Overall, very nice. Although that first sentence is arguable.

[Moriarty]

Isn't "high-kinetic" kind of implied in "propellent" when you're talking about bullets?

...

yes.

...

no.

...

the high-kinetic is an addition which tells you that this rifle actually packs more punch than a standard one. I just wouldn't want to go into detail about high-velocity projectiles, cavitation wounds and gross stuff like that.

 

And use of the word "scope" might give people the wrong idea, as in the scope of the weapon's usefulnes or the whatnot.

uh. somehow you're right, but somehow not. again. I think that when the text talks about a scope in the way it does, it is pretty obvious what is meant. don't you think?

 

Overall, very nice.  Although that first sentence is arguable.

arguable... obviously, yes. it has been argued about. a lot. **

no, seriously, I think the sentence is correct. well,more or less... perhaps it could be changed to

"Since its invention, the rifle, in one form or another, has been the standard weapon of ground troops."

?

[Guest Azrael]

Final name of this text is "Assault Rifle"

[Astyanax]

Arguable indeed!

 

Well, to fan the flames some more (sorry, Moriarty, but I couldn't resist!), how about this as an alternative to the first sentence?

 

Since the creation of gunpowder, the standard ground military weapon has been a rifle, in one form or another.

Since the creation of gunpowder, the standard military service weapon has traditionally been a rifle.

The use of "rifle" here assumes that "rifle" is a weapon type rather than a specific weapon. Also, the modifications might address the arguable assertion that the standard weapon has always been a rifle; "traditionally" suggests that it has almost always been a rifle...

 

Not a critical suggestion, so disregard it if you want. Looks like this nearly ready for proofreading (not that it will need too much of that ). Nicely done.

Edited June 7, 2005 by Astyanax

[Tsereve]

I like it!

[Moriarty]

I like it!

which one? *confused*

Edited June 8, 2005 by Moriarty

[Tsereve]

Since the creation of gunpowder, the standard military service weapon has traditionally been a rifle.

[Moriarty]

ok

 

EDIT: final name == Assault Rifle

 

Assault Rifle

X-Net://Pegasus.net/Weapons/Assault Rifle

 

Since the creation of gunpowder, the standard military service weapon has traditionally been a rifle. When it became obvious that a multi-national task force had to be created, a fundamental problem soon arose: Integration. Almost every nation’s armed forces used a different weapon with its own ammunition type, which would quickly lead to logistical problems out in the field.

Thus X-Corps Command approached several arms manufacturers through unofficial government channels, offering a joint contract for the designing and manufacturing of a new advanced standard-issue rifle.

Although the fear of intellectual property theft generated some reluctance, the immediate Alien threat and the offer of an initial large, undisclosed sum of money overcame their reservations. In exchange, they would create a revolutionary rifle to which they would collectively retain the relevant patents and copyrights, but limit their sales exclusively to the X-Corps for the duration of the Alien menace.

 

The Assault Rifle is the result of their efforts. It is powerful, accurate and built for extreme conditions. In addition to these strong points,  it is shorter and lighter than most other rifles, making it extremely handy in tight situations. Two firing modes are implemented; a thumb-activated selector switch allows the soldier to change firing modes from single shot to three-round burst. Fully automatic firing, although technically possible, was omitted for ammunition conservation reasons.

 

The Assault Rifle uses a high-kinetic propellant caseless ammunition system very similar to the [X-Corps PISTOL]. The increased propellant mass compared to conventional ammunition is capable of accelerating the bullets to very high speeds, while at the same time leaving no spent cartridges at the scene of battle. Steel-tipped bullets are accountable for good armor-piercing capabilities, and a lead body ensures a high stopping power.

The increased recoil associated with high muzzle velocities is partly compensated via a pneumatic buffering system as well as a field-moldable shoulder piece made from memory plastics which guarantees a large rifle-shoulder contact area, minimizing recoil sores.

Another highly sophisticated component of the weapon is its scope, which gives the soldier unparalleled accuracy in single shot mode, possessing a combined 4x optical magnification system, a built-in residual light amplification and a thermal imaging processor. This makes the Assault Rifle an excellent weapon for night missions or when visibility is limited.

 

X-Corps employs the Assault Rifle as standard equipment.

For special purposes, X-Corps tactical analysts recommend the use of specialized weapons, such as explosives for wide-area destruction and large-caliber automatic weaponry for heavily armored opponents. For standard combat situations, however, the Assault Rifle has been unanimously voted "weapon of choice".

Edited June 8, 2005 by Moriarty

[Guest Azrael]

I like it, and I don't see anything that should be changed, I'll wait for comments and then we'll close this Good work.

[Astyanax]

This is another [typical Astyanax] nitpickery-type of suggestion, so feel free to ignore it. I was sort of thinking about emphasizing the ueberness (sorry, can't do umlauts) of the scope...

 

Another highly sophisticated component of the weapon is its scope...

Another unique/distinct component of the weapon is its highly sophisticated scope...

 

Okay, I'm going to shut up now or else this will never get done!

[Guest Azrael]

This is another [typical Astyanax] nitpickery-type of suggestion, so feel free to ignore it.  I was sort of thinking about emphasizing the ueberness (sorry, can't do umlauts) of the scope...

 

Another highly sophisticated component of the weapon is its scope...

Another unique/distinct component of the weapon is its highly sophisticated scope...

 

Okay, I'm going to shut up now or else this will never get done!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank YOU

Excellent work Moriarty, completed.