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CTD - Intimidator UFO


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#1 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 25 February 2005 - 09:31 PM

This text was written by blehm. He posted it only once and never touched for more than a year. Anyone who wants to rewrite it entirely or modify it, feel free please.

INTIMIDATOR UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.Net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator


When the aliens need to collect humans, they turn to a rather violent solution and conduct terror missions. Terror ships are the conductors of these missions. Terror ships are extremely fast, but lightly armored for their size. These ships are more than capable of anhilating any ship they come across, but the range of these weapons is its main weakness. Terror ships are unique in that they carry terror units, with battleships being the only other ship with terror units. The terror units are very strong and powerful units, but rely only on their own weapons, and not on weapons they find on the ground. Certain terror units are associated with certain alien units.

Edited by Azrael, 26 February 2005 - 10:09 AM.


#2 dan2

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Posted 26 February 2005 - 12:35 AM

This text was written by blehm. He posted it only once and never touched for more than a year. Anyone who wants to rewrite it entirely or modify it, feel free please.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'll do it, I have a full weekend ahead, so it should be fun.
But, of course, I'll be glad to combine my texts with anybody, too, I'm not the ultimate source of knowledge, you know... :Coffee:

#3 dan2

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Posted 27 February 2005 - 12:46 PM

Ok, how about this text?

[INTIMIDATOR]
While most alien intentions still concern people worldwide, aliens designed these large vessels for frightening purposes, to aquire human victims and to bring unforgettable fear in those who ever see them.
[INTIMIDATOR] is able to fulfill several tasks: to identify targets relatively hard to defend, but still containing a high concentration of human beings, and after such reconaissance missions are acomplished, to launch an attack against the most vulnerable target and to collect live and dead human specimens for yet unknown reasons.
The size of [INTIMIDATOR] is intimidating, indeed, so large to be able to contain everything needed for its purposes. The ship contains a very large crew, powerful weapons, heavy armor, numerous engines and a huge number of rooms, each with a particular designation. Our interceptors can damage slightly this type of ship using our longest range missiles, but the limited amount of such missiles proved to be insufficient and attempts to use more powerful, but shorter range weapons ended in disasters.
While some rooms inside the ship accommodate the crew, other contain cryogenic pods with creatures ready to wake up, designed specifically for terror attacks, rooms for frightening heavy weapon systems programmed to defend the ship with a ruthless precision, a command center from where all orders are received and dispatched to the terrorist units, large spaces for highly redundant engine systems able to function even after withstanding heavy damage, powerful enough to accelerate the ship to speeds much higher than any standard interceptor would ever be able to achieve even if its engine output would critically exceed factory specifications. Some specialized rooms contain examination tables surrounded by unidentified medical devices connected with storage rooms for imobilized victims. Inside the walls, our investigators were horrified to discover small compartments for storing extracted human tissues and body parts, especially brains of various sizes, kept alive with methods not yet fully understood. The weapon room is impressive, containing various types of weapons that seem to draw their power directly from a big Xenium reactor, generating enough power to annihilate an interceptor with only one coordinated hit.
Now it seems obvious it is imperative for us stop such vessels from fulfilling their cruel mission at all costs. By analyzing in detail its systems we must find ways to improve our ships, which are yet incapable of damaging or even intercepting an [INTIMIDATOR] at its full speed.

Edited by dan2, 27 February 2005 - 01:08 PM.


#4 Kamikazee

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Posted 27 February 2005 - 01:43 PM

Looks pretty good... I would suggest however that the ship does not contain medical stuff itself. It is primarily for engaging in terror missions and should be fitted only for that purpose... so iit should be roled carrying large units, deploying them quickly and detecting good targets which means large sensors (as you said).

sorry if it's a bit criticle...but im no good at much else :)

good work so far

Edit:

I like the cryogenic pods bit... very good

try not to refer to other technologies in the tree as much... remember the player may have researched fusionball already and be using tem... therefore having a report mentioning the poor effect of old obsolete missiles is rather pointless... just say that Eg. "after blast testing the ships armor is extremely strong"

Edited by Kamikazee, 27 February 2005 - 01:46 PM.


#5 dan2

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Posted 27 February 2005 - 01:56 PM

Looks pretty good... I would suggest however that the ship does not contain medical stuff itself. It is primarily for engaging in terror missions and should be fitted only for that purpose... so iit should be roled carrying large units, deploying them quickly and detecting good targets which means large sensors (as you said).
I like the cryogenic pods bit... very good
try not to refer to other technologies in the tree as much... remember the player may have researched fusionball already and be using tem... therefore having a report mentioning the poor effect of old obsolete missiles is rather pointless... just say that Eg. "after blast testing the ships armor is extremely strong"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I added the medical stuff with TFTD in mind, you see, I didn't play EU in a long time and the description in Ufopedia is rather short. I thought they dissected the humans while returning to the base, but if it's not right, yes, I'll change that part. It was making the story more horrific...
I agree, I should add something about the sensors on the ship.
Isn't this type of ship encountered early on, when only 'Avalanche' was safe to use, while 'Stingray' wasn't?

Edited by dan2, 27 February 2005 - 02:04 PM.


#6 Kamikazee

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Posted 27 February 2005 - 02:05 PM

When i mentioneds about fusionball weapons I was simply trying to say not to rfer to other technologies on a different branch of the tech tree directly as it makes the entry sound irrevelant or out of place...

simply say that the armor was strong when tested... not it was strong against a certain weapon.

Maybe you could mention the fact that terror ships usually appear at night... maybe to kill civilians in their sleep.?

#7 dan2

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Posted 27 February 2005 - 04:47 PM

Here's the second try:

[INTIMIDATOR]
While most alien intentions still concern people worldwide, aliens designed these large vessels for frightening purposes, to aquire human victims and to bring unforgettable fear in those who ever see them.
[INTIMIDATOR] is able to fulfill several tasks: to identify targets relatively hard to defend, but still containing a high concentration of human beings, and after such reconaissance missions are acomplished, to launch an attack against the most vulnerable target and to collect live and dead human specimens for yet unknown reasons.
The size of [INTIMIDATOR] is intimidating, indeed, so large to be able to contain everything needed for its purposes. The ship contains a very large crew, powerful weapons, heavy armor, numerous engines and a huge number of rooms, each with a particular designation. We can safely say now that its weapon range is quite long and it is advisable for any interceptor pilot to use only our longest range weapons available against this nightmarish ship.
While some rooms inside the ship accommodate the crew, other contain cryogenic pods with creatures ready to wake up, designed specifically for terror attacks, rooms for frightening heavy weapon systems programmed to defend the ship with a ruthless precision, a command center from where all orders are received and dispatched to the terrorist units, large spaces for highly redundant engine systems able to function even after withstanding heavy damage, powerful enough to accelerate the ship to speeds much higher than any standard interceptor would ever be able to achieve even if its engine output would critically exceed factory specifications. Several specialized rooms are probably conceived to storage immobilized victims in a horrified, but still conscious state, for transportation to alien bases. The weapon room is impressive, containing various types of weapons that seem to draw their power directly from a big Xenium reactor, generating enough power to annihilate an interceptor with only one coordinated hit. The observation room contain several unknown type of sensors and there is hope one day we'll be able to understand such technology and use it to succeed in our fight against aliens.
Now it seems obvious it is imperative for us stop such vessels from fulfilling their cruel mission at all costs. By analyzing in detail its systems we must find ways to improve our ships, which are yet incapable of damaging or even intercepting an [INTIMIDATOR] at its full speed.

#8 Tsereve

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Posted 27 February 2005 - 06:12 PM

The size of [Intimidator] is intimidating.


<_<

We can safely say now that its weapon range is quite long and it is advisable for any interceptor pilot to use only our longest range weapons available against this nightmarish ship.


Hmm. This sounds awkward. Maybe change to "Our research has confirmed the incredible range of this ship's massive weapons, and interceptor pilots are strongly advised to engage this foe at the longest range possible." Also, move this sentence somewhere else (maybe before "The ship contains. . ."?), it interrupts the line of thought between the sentences bordering it. I love the use of the word "nightmarish," though, keep that!

other contain cryogenic pods with creatures ready to wake up, designed specifically for terror attacks,


Consider moving the second part here to immediately follow "creatures."

rooms for frightening heavy weapon systems programmed to defend the ship with a ruthless precision


Eliminate (isn't that a fun word?) the words "rooms for." You've already stated this earlier in the sentence.

large spaces for highly redundant engine systems able to function even after withstanding heavy damage, powerful enough to accelerate the ship to speeds much higher than any standard interceptor would ever be able to achieve even if its engine output would critically exceed factory specifications


As before, move "powerful enough. . .specifications" to right after "engine systems" and add an "and" after "specifications." As it is, this just does't seem to flow.

Several specialized rooms are probably conceived to storage immobilized victims in a horrified, but still conscious state, for transportation to alien bases.


Change to "were probably concieved to store. . ." Consider changing "but" to "yet," but this is probably just a ME thing.

The weapon room is impressive, containing various types of weapons that seem to draw their power directly from a big Xenium reactor, generating enough power to annihilate an interceptor with only one coordinated hit.


First of all, make the first "weapon" plural. Also, "big" doesn't really seem. . .scientific enough. Before the word "generating," possibly add in "making these systems capable of. . ." or something like that.

and use it to succeed in our fight against aliens.


Good sentence, but have a "the" before "aliens."

Now it seems obvious it is imperative for us stop such vessels from fulfilling their cruel mission at all costs. By analyzing in detail its systems we must find ways to improve our ships, which are yet incapable of damaging or even intercepting an [INTIMIDATOR] at its full speed.


"Obvious" and "imperative" just don't run well together here. Consider rewording.
And I wouldn't say our interceptors are incapable of damaging/intercepting these craft. For all we know, they might've gotten the Vengence by now.
Justice will be dispensed by cannonade and cutlass, and all manner of remorseless pieces of metal.

Take one more step, and I swear, I will kill you so hard you will die to death.

#9 dan2

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Posted 27 February 2005 - 07:08 PM

I have to thank Tsereve for his careful sugestions and after trying to follow his observations, I made the 3rd version:

"Intimidator" UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.Net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

While most alien intentions still concern people worldwide, aliens designed these large vessels for frightening purposes, to aquire human victims and to bring unforgettable fear in those who ever see them.
Intimidator is able to fulfill several tasks: to identify targets relatively hard to defend, but still containing a high concentration of human beings, and after such reconaissance missions are acomplished, to launch an attack against the most vulnerable target and to collect live and dead human specimens for yet unknown reasons.
The size of Intimidator can bring a feeling of unease into anybody's heart, indeed, so large to be able to contain everything needed for its purposes. Our research has confirmed the incredible range of this ship's massive weapons, and interceptor pilots are strongly advised to engage this nightmarish ship at the longest range possible. Also, its engine systems are powerful enough to accelerate the ship to speeds much higher than any standard interceptor would ever be able to achieve even if its engine output would critically exceed factory specifications.
The ship contains a very large crew, powerful weapons, heavy armor, numerous engines and a huge number of rooms, each with its particular designation. Heavily defended inside there is command center from where all orders are received and dispatched to the terrorist units. While some rooms accommodate the crew, other contain cryogenic pods with creatures ready to wake up, designed specifically for terror attacks, and frightening heavy weapon platforms programmed to defend the ship with a ruthless precision. Several specialized rooms were probably conceived to store immobilized victims in a horrified, but still conscious state, for transportation to alien bases.
Large spaces are reserved for highly redundant engine systems which are able to function even after withstanding heavy damage, making the ship almost unstoppable. The weapons room is impressive, containing various types of weapons that draw their power directly from a large Xenium reactor, making these systems capable of annihilating a standard interceptor with only one coordinated hit. The observation room contain several unknown type of sensors and there is hope one day we'll be able to understand such technology and use it to succeed in our fight against the aliens.
After understanding some of the purposes this type of ship was created for, it is imperative for us stop such vessels from fulfilling their cruel missions at all costs.

Edited by dan2, 27 February 2005 - 07:46 PM.


#10 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 27 February 2005 - 07:09 PM

I just want to point out for now that "Intimidator" is a final name, so you may delete the [ ].

Edit: Also, this is the correspondant heading for this text, please add it.
X-Net://Pegasus.Net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

Edited by Azrael, 27 February 2005 - 07:10 PM.


#11 dan2

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Posted 27 February 2005 - 07:19 PM

I just want to point out for now that "Intimidator" is a final name, so you may delete the [ ].

Edit: Also, this is the correspondant heading for this text, please add it.
X-Net://Pegasus.Net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So the name is all uppercase or just the initial?

#12 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 27 February 2005 - 07:30 PM

I just want to point out for now that "Intimidator" is a final name, so you may delete the [ ].

Edit: Also, this is the correspondant heading for this text, please add it.
X-Net://Pegasus.Net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So the name is all uppercase or just the initial?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It is like this exactly X-Net://Pegasus.et/Alien/Craft/Intimidator posted, just copy & paste :), the .net bit isn't in upper case as I posted before, just copy this one.

Edited by Azrael, 27 February 2005 - 07:32 PM.


#13 dan2

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Posted 27 February 2005 - 07:33 PM

It is all exactly as I posted, just copy & paste :)

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I know, but I was talking about the name inside the large text

#14 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 27 February 2005 - 07:41 PM

Initial only.

#15 Astyanax

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Posted 28 February 2005 - 01:36 PM

Keep up the good work, Dan2. :)

The usual stuff: Red text indicates additions, orange text indicates deletions, and blue text indicates comments or suggestions.

Added [brackets] and capitalizations of the word "Alien" are not denoted, and British spellings are replaced with red-marked American spellings.

INTIMIDATOR UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

While most Alien intentions UFOs? still concern people worldwide, Aliens designed these large vessels for frightening purposes, to acquire human victims and to bring instill an? unforgettable insurmountable? fear in those who ever see them.† Some subject weirdness in the first sentence- the first half discusses Alien intentions, the latter about Aliens.† Maybe: "While Alien UFOs of many shapes and sizes continue menace the skies, the Aliens' Intimidator UFO appears to have been designed solely for its terrible purpose: to instill insurmountable fear in any/those who are unlucky enough to encounter it.

The Intimidator is able built/designed? to fulfill several tasks: to identify targets relatively hard to defend, but still containing a high concentration of human beings, and after such reconaissance missions are acomplished, to launch an attack against the most vulnerable target and to collect live and dead human specimens for yet unknown reasons.† A colon shouldn't be used in the first sentence because the "to identify..." phrase is an independent clause.† Suggest: "...to identify large, relatively indefensible populations, strike vulnerable targets, and collect both living and dead human specimens for yet unknown reasons."

The sheer? size of Intimidator in itself? can bring about/generate? a vague? feeling sense? of unease dread? into anybody's heart, indeed, it is so large to be nearly/almost entirely self-contained? able to contain everything needed for its purposes. Our research has confirmed the incredible range of this ship's massive weapons, and Interceptor pilots are strongly advised to engage this nightmarish ship at the longest range furthest ranges? possible. Also, its engine systems are powerful enough to accelerate the ship to speeds much higher than any standard Interceptor would ever be able to achieve even if its engine output would critically exceed factory specifications.† The last sentence is somewhat cumbersome.† Perhaps: "...accelerate the ship to speeds far beyond that of even our Interceptors at their redline."

The ship Intimidator craft houses? contains a very large crew complement?, powerful weapons, heavy armor, numerous engines, and a huge number of specialized rooms, each with its particular designation. Heavily defended and safely tucked inside the Intimidator's heart/interior there is the command center from where all which orders are received and coordinated/generated and? dispatched to the terrorist units. While some rooms accommodate the crew, others contain cryogenic pods with where creatures ready to wake up, designed specifically for terror attacks, and frightening heavy weapon platforms programmed to defend the ship with a ruthless precision are kept in stasis, ready to be awakened at a moment's notice. Several Other specialized rooms were probably conceived to store immobilized victims in a horrified, but still conscious state, for transportation to Alien bases. Recommend: "Other specialized rooms are probably used to keep conscious, immobilized victims transfixed in a perpetual state of sustained (perpetual and sustained are redundant, but I tend to like the emphasis.† Either can be removed without changing the meaning however) horror during their dread trip to an Alien base, where who knows what abominations might await."

The large spaces engine rooms are reserved for house? highly redundant engine systems which are able to function even after withstanding sustaining? heavy damage, making the ship almost nigh? unstoppable.

The weapons room is equally? impressive, containing various types of weapons systems that draw their powered directly from a large, centralized? Xenium reactor, making these systems them? capable of annihilating a standard interceptor with in a single? only one coordinated hit salvo/strike/blast/volley?.

The observation room contains several unknown types of sensors and there is hope one day we'll be able to Hopefully, we will one day understand such comprehend these? technology technologies and be able to use it them to succeed in our successfully fight against the Aliens.

After understanding some of the purposes this type of ship was created for, it is imperative for us stop such vessels from fulfilling their cruel missions at all costs. [color="blue"]A little circumspect.† Suggest: "After researching the ghastly purposes behind the Intimidator's design, our sense of moral outrage demands that these vessels be prevented from fulfilling their inhumane missions."


Edited by Astyanax, 28 February 2005 - 01:54 PM.

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#16 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 28 February 2005 - 01:53 PM

Hmm, it'd be interesting if you added a note about how Intimidators seem to communicate with Artopods, possibly receiving combat reports on Human strategy and tactics. Read here http://www.xcomufo.c...opic=4105&st=70

#17 dan2

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Posted 28 February 2005 - 06:30 PM

Hmm, it'd be interesting if you added a note about how Intimidators seem to communicate with Artopods, possibly receiving combat reports on Human strategy and tactics. Read here http://www.xcomufo.c...opic=4105&st=70

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I would, but I think an Intimidator can contain other species, so I'm not sure if Artopods are going to be on board in every mission. So comunication it's done at sub-terahertz frequency? I always thought psionic would be involved for most species or programming would be enough for mechanical foes.

#18 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 28 February 2005 - 08:12 PM

Hmm, it'd be interesting if you added a note about how Intimidators seem to communicate with Artopods, possibly receiving combat reports on Human strategy and tactics. Read here http://www.xcomufo.c...opic=4105&st=70

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I would, but I think an Intimidator can contain other species, so I'm not sure if Artopods are going to be on board in every mission. So comunication it's done at sub-terahertz frequency? I always thought psionic would be involved for most species or programming would be enough for mechanical foes.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I didn't conceived it as a form of control, it's like the Ship gathering data on our tactics, so to learn about us more.
You don't have to say that it happens everytime, say that it has been detected some form of radial communication between the ship and unknown units on certain terror sites, and that in all those terror sites Artopods were found, so it's a logical conclusion. Read how I put it, but try not to make it sound too similar. Anyway, if you feel like it doesn't fit in the text, then leave it.

#19 dan2

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Posted 03 March 2005 - 01:51 PM

INTIMIDATOR UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

While Aliens intentions still concern people worldwide, these large vessels were designed for frightening purposes, to acquire human victims and instill an unforgettable fear in those unlucky enough to encounter them.
The Intimidator is designed to fulfill several tasks, to identify large, relatively indefensible populations, strike the most vulnerable target, and to collect both living and dead human specimens for yet unknown purposes.

The sheer size of Intimidator in itself can generate a feeling of dread into anybody's heart; indeed, it is so large to be almost entirely self-contained for its purposes. Our research has confirmed the incredible range of this ship's massive weapons, and Interceptor pilots are strongly advised to engage this nightmarish ship at the furthest ranges possible. Also, its engine systems are powerful enough to accelerate the ship to speeds far beyond that of even our Interceptors at their redline.

The ship houses a very large crew complement, powerful weapons, heavy armor, numerous engines, and a huge number of specialized rooms. Heavily defended and safely tucked inside the Intimidator's heart is the command center from which orders are coordinated and dispatched to the terrorist units. While some rooms accommodate the crew, others contain cryogenic pods where creatures designed specifically for terror attacks and frightening heavy weapon platforms programmed to defend the ship with a ruthless precision are kept in stasis, ready to be awakened at a moment's notice. Other specialized rooms are probably used to keep conscious, immobilized victims transfixed in a state of sustained horror during their dread trip to an Alien base, where is uncertain what abominations might await for them.

The large engine rooms are reserved for highly redundant engine systems, which are able to function even after sustaining heavy damage, making the ship almost unstoppable.
The weapons room is equally impressive, containing various weapons systems powered directly from a large Xenium reactor, making them capable of annihilating a standard interceptor in a single coordinated blast.
The observation room contains several unknown types of sensors. Hopefully, we will one day comprehend such technologies and be able to use them to successfully fight against the Aliens.

After researching the ghastly purposes behind the Intimidator's design, our sense of moral outrage demands that these vessels be prevented from fulfilling their inhumane missions

#20 AlienInBlack

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Posted 05 March 2005 - 10:55 AM

Let's give a little bit of proofreading a try. Before going on, this is my first time proofreading on these boards, so some of this may be off. If it doesn't feel right, I'm probably wrong. Using the regular color scheme: Red text=additions, orange text=deletions, blue=comments

INTIMIDATOR UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

While Aliens intentions still concern people worldwide, these large vessels were designed for frightening purposes, to acquire human victims and instill an unforgettable fear in those unlucky enough to encounter them.
The Intimidator is designed to fulfill several tasks, to identify large, relatively indefensible populations, strike the most vulnerable targets, and to collect both living and dead human specimens for yet unknown purposes.

To me, the first sentence feels very awkward. What are you trying to do? The first half of the sentence doesn't seem to have anything to do with the second half of the sentence. Suggestion: "While Alien intentions and plans involve humanity in a variety of ways, this ship seems focused on one solitary aspect of those ways: the spread of terror among Earth's populace. These large vessels..."

The sheer size of Intimidator in itself can generate a feeling of dread in to anybody's heart; indeed, it is so large to be almost entirely self-contained for its purposes. Our research has confirmed the incredible range of this ship's massive weapons, and Interceptor pilots are strongly advised to engage this nightmarish ship at the furthest ranges possible. Also, its engine systems are powerful enough to accelerate the ship to speeds far beyond that of even our Interceptors at their redline speeds.

The last sentence feels disconnected. Or maybe replace "Also" with "Our pilots may have difficulty doing so, as its engine systems..." As long as you connect it with the rest of the paragraph, it should be good.

The ship houses a very large crew complement, powerful weapons, heavy armor, numerous engines, and a huge number of specialized rooms. Heavily defended and safely tucked inside the Intimidator's heart is the command center from which orders are coordinated and dispatched to the terrorist units. While some rooms accommodate the crew, others contain cryogenic pods where creatures designed specifically for terror attacks and frightening heavy weapon platforms programmed to defend the ship with a ruthless precision are kept in stasis, ready to be awakened at a moment's notice. Other specialized rooms are probably used to keep conscious, immobilized victims transfixed in a state of sustained horror during their dread trip to an Alien base, where it is uncertain what abominations might await for them.

There are two things that jumped out at me. "Is" doesn't seem to flow well in the second sentence. Suggestion: change "is" to "exists". Secondly, the sentence talking about the heavy weapon platforms and cryogenic's pods really needs to be two sentences, or rearranged to make it less confusing. Are the weapons ready to be awakened at a moment's notice, or are the creatures?

The large engine rooms are reserved for highly redundant engine systems, which are able to function even after sustaining heavy damage, making the ship almost unstoppable.
The weapons room is equally impressive, containing various weapons systems powered directly from a large Xenium reactor, making them capable of annihilating a standard interceptor in a single coordinated blast.
The observation room contains several unknown types of sensors. Hopefully, we will one day comprehend such technologies and be able to use them to successfully fight against the Aliens.

What does the last sentence have to do with the capabilities and purpose of the Intimidator UFO? Maybe put in some sort of speculation on what the sensors do?

After researching the ghastly purposes behind the Intimidator's design, our sense of moral outrage demands that these vessels be prevented from fulfilling their inhumane missions.

In general, this is looking good. Try to replace passive verbs where you can. Keep at it. ;)

Edited by AlienInBlack, 05 March 2005 - 10:55 AM.


#21 dan2

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Posted 05 March 2005 - 02:19 PM

I'll do all this reordering, since I decided to have one format for all ships. I guess it will happen soon. Since you're in the mood, what do you think about the "Probe UFO"? I hardly wait to see red, yellow, blue text ... :Brickwall:
But really, I appreciate your work, I hope the text will be eventually useful for something...

P.S. Just a reminder about the future text structure. Hopefully the weekend will be productive

*** UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/***

<Intro: Description and Purposes>
<Size, shape and outer shell>
<Weapons>
<Inside feeling>
<Crew>
<Engine room and speed>
<Threat level and Conclusion>

Edited by dan2, 17 March 2005 - 05:38 PM.


#22 dan2

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Posted 28 May 2005 - 12:09 PM

INTIMIDATOR UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

While Alien intentions involve humanity in a variety of ways, the Intimidator seems focused on one solitary aspect: the spread of terror among humankind. The Intimidator, capable of annihilating a standard interceptor in a single coordinated blast, is designed to identify large and relatively undefended populations, then to strike the most vulnerable site and to collect both living and dead human specimens.

Even by itself the size of an Intimidator can generate a feeling of dread. Its bulk is covering a large area on many levels, in order to be almost entirely self-contained for its purposes. It is protected by a very thick and tough layer of Alien material, which prevents almost any damage to the ship from the outside. Protruding its surface, sensors and weapons can be identified in key locations all over the ship.

The Intimidator houses a very large crew complement, powerful weapons, numerous engines, and a huge number of specialized rooms. Heavily defended and safely tucked inside the Intimidator's heart is the command center from which orders are coordinated and dispatched to the terrorist units.

While some rooms accommodate the crew, others contain cryogenic pods where creatures designed specifically for terror attacks are kept in stasis, ready to be awakened at a moment's notice. These rooms are defended by frightening heavy weapon platforms programmed to destroy any intruder with ruthless precision. Other specialized rooms are probably used to keep conscious, immobilized victims transfixed in a state of sustained horror during their terrible trip to an Alien base, where is uncertain what abominations might await for them.

The weapons room is impressive, containing complex weapons systems powered directly from a large Xenium reactor. Our research has confirmed the incredible range of ship's massive weapons, and Interceptor pilots are strongly advised to engage this nightmarish ship at the furthest ranges possible.

The large engine rooms are reserved for highly redundant engine systems, which are able to function even after sustaining heavy damage, making the ship almost unstoppable. Also, they are powerful enough to accelerate the ship to speeds far beyond our Interceptors capabilities.

After researching the ghastly purposes behind the Intimidator's design, our sense of moral outrage demands that our main priority is to prevent these vessels from fulfilling their inhumane missions.

"Wow, this is bigger than a mall. Now that we got rid of the aliens inside, can we use it as a House of Horrors?" wounded corporal Bling looking for a second income


Edited by dan2, 31 May 2005 - 04:20 PM.


#23 Tsereve

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Posted 04 June 2005 - 01:28 PM

X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

While Alien intentions involve humanity in a variety of ways, the Intimidator seems focused on one solitary aspect: the spread of terror among humankind. The Intimidator, capable of annihilating a standard interceptor in a single coordinated blast, is designed to identify large and relatively undefended populations, then to strike the most vulnerable site and to collect both living and dead human specimens.

I don't know about you, but I've had Interceptors take 3 hits before going down. As in, they were destroyed on the 3rd hit. Yes, all 3 shots hit. And how can one blast be coordinated? Do you mean "well-aimed"?

"Identify" might not be the right word here. Maybe "seek out" or something?


Even by itself the size of an Intimidator can generate a feeling of dread. Its bulk is covering a large area on many levels, in order to be almost entirely self-contained for its purposes. It is protected by a very thick and tough layer of Alien material, which prevents almost any damage to the ship from the outside. Protruding its surface, sensors and weapons can be identified in key locations all over the ship.

"Its bulk covers" would be more grammatically correct. Plus, having "bulk" and "large area" is redundant. Also, consider rephrasing it along the lines of "Its bulk possesses a volume # stories high, # meters wide, (I don't remember the exact measurements, but if you look at the pic of the UFO while intercepting it, it has a scale. . .) and is completely self-contained."

The Intimidator houses a very large crew complement, powerful weapons, numerous engines, and a huge number of specialized rooms. Heavily defended and safely tucked inside the Intimidator's heart is the command center from which orders are coordinated and dispatched to the terrorist units.

Maybe add something in the first sentence here about its large number of Xenium Reactors, it had 4 in the original.

"Huge number" doesn't really work here. Besides just sounding awkward, it's kind of redundant.

Put the "heavily defended" part here immediately prior to "command center." Otherwise, it sounds like you're trying to pile as many adjectives into one sentence as possible.

I don't know about orders being coordinated. The terrorist units are the ones being coordinated, after all. How about "from which terrorist units are coordinated and dispatched to the site"?


While some rooms accommodate the crew, others contain cryogenic pods where creatures designed specifically for terror attacks are kept in stasis, ready to be awakened at a moment's notice. These rooms are defended by frightening heavy weapon platforms programmed to destroy any intruder with ruthless precision. Other specialized rooms are probably used to keep conscious, immobilized victims transfixed in a state of sustained horror during their terrible trip to an Alien base, where is uncertain what abominations might await for them.

These rooms aren't just guarded from intruders. In fact, I don't think any UFOs have interior defenses (unless you guys added that while I wasn't looking, it wouldn't be too hard).

"Terrible trip" sounds a bit too. . .melodramatic? But that isn't really the word for it. . .or is it?


The weapons room is impressive, containing complex weapons systems powered directly from a large Xenium reactor. Our research has confirmed the incredible range of ship's massive weapons, and Interceptor pilots are strongly advised to engage this nightmarish ship at the furthest ranges possible.

"Directly" here should be a given. And is there going to be one large Xenium reactor, or multiple smaller ones? There were four normal-sized power sources in the original, iirc.

The large engine rooms are reserved for highly redundant engine systems, which are able to function even after sustaining heavy damage, making the ship almost unstoppable. Also, they are powerful enough to accelerate the ship to speeds far beyond our Interceptors capabilities.

Can't find anything wrong here.

After researching the ghastly purposes behind the Intimidator's design, our sense of moral outrage demands that our main priority is to prevent these vessels from fulfilling their inhumane missions.

"Sense of moral outrage"??? Do we even have such a sense? :blink: Yeah, our main priority is to prevent ALL alien vessels from fulfilling their inhumane missions. Although use of the word "inhumane" here probably doesn't mean to much because they're not human anyway. . . :P

"Wow, this is bigger than a mall. Now that we got rid of the aliens inside, can we use it as a House of Horrors?" wounded corporal Bling looking for a second income

LOL
Justice will be dispensed by cannonade and cutlass, and all manner of remorseless pieces of metal.

Take one more step, and I swear, I will kill you so hard you will die to death.

#24 Mad

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Posted 03 April 2006 - 07:12 AM

Wow. This hasn't been touched in a long time!
Dan2? Want to continue on this?
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#25 dan2

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Posted 03 April 2006 - 11:24 PM

I don't know about you, but I've had Interceptors take 3 hits before going down.  As in, they were destroyed on the 3rd hit.  Yes, all 3 shots hit.  And how can one blast be coordinated?  Do you mean "well-aimed"?
"Identify" might not be the right word here.  Maybe "seek out" or something?


"Sense of moral outrage"???  Do we even have such a sense? :blink:  Yeah, our main priority is to prevent ALL alien vessels from fulfilling their inhumane missions.  Although use of the word "inhumane" here probably doesn't mean to much because they're not human anyway. . . :P


I'll give it a total remake as soon as I'll find the time.
Indeed, many fix-ups to do on it.

About hit coordination, I assumed the gun shoots more than one time and sometimes it can destroy the Inty in one round, sometime not even in 3. It's a matter of how much attention the commander inside the UFO gives to the pesky Inty. But I should find better words indeed.

The aliens are not humane, but their action can be considered inhumane, cold, emotionless, right?

#26 Mad

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Posted 30 May 2006 - 05:19 AM

Dan2! What's the status on this CT?
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#27 kafros

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Posted 27 June 2006 - 01:52 PM

INTIMIDATOR UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

While Alien intentions involve humanity in a variety of ways, the Intimidator seems focused on one solitary aspect: the spread of terror among humankind. The Intimidator, capable of annihilating a standard interceptor in a few coordinated blasts, is designed as an effective means of conducting terror missions. It has the ability to discover large and relatively undefended populations and to strike the most vulnerable site in order to terrorize and destroy.

Even by itself, the size of an Intimidator can generate a feeling of dread. Its bulk possesses a volume 3 stories high and 15m wide, while being completely self-contained. It is protected by a very thick layer of Alien material, which gives it the ability to receive a great deal of punishment. It houses a very large crew complement, powerful weapons, numerous engines and a various storage rooms. Heavily defended and safely tucked inside the Intimidator's heart is the command center, from where the assaulting force is coordinated.

While some rooms accommodate the crew, others contain cryogenic pods where creatures designed specifically for terror attacks are kept in stasis, ready to be awakened at a moment's notice. These rooms are defended by frightening heavy weapon platforms programmed to destroy any intruder with ruthless precision. Other specialized rooms are probably used to keep conscious, immobilized victims transfixed in a state of sustained horror during their terrible trip to an Alien base, where is uncertain what abominations might await for them.

Does this paragraph still apply? Alien Terror mission is supposed to be a hit-and-run one.

The Intimidator contains an impressive weapons system, which gives the ship dreadful range and firepower. Intercepting crafts are strongly advised to engage this kind of vessel at the furthest ranges possible, otherwise fatal loses are imminent.

The large engine rooms are reserved for highly redundant engine systems, which are able to function even after sustaining heavy damage, making the ship almost unstoppable. In addition, they are powerful enough to accelerate the ship to speeds far beyond our Interceptorsí capabilities.

In order to prevent the demoralization of political authorities and human population, interception of Intimidator vessels should be a high priority.

"Wow, this is bigger than a mall. Now that we got rid of the aliens inside, can we use it as a House of Horrors?" wounded corporal Bling looking for a second income

Edited by kafros, 27 June 2006 - 01:52 PM.


#28 Davo

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Posted 12 June 2007 - 04:30 AM

INTIMIDATOR UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

While Alien activity seems to involve humanity on a variety of levels, the aptly named Intimidator seems focused upon one singular objective: To spread terror among humankind. The Intimidator, capable of outrunning and annihilating one of our standard interceptor crafts with a few coordinated blasts, is designed as an effective means of conducting hit and run terror missions. The sheer size of the craft alone strikes fear and terror deep into the heart of mankind. This combinded with a heavily armed contingent of alien combatants produces perhaps one of the deadliest crafts within the Alien arsonel that we have encountered.

The craft itself stands two stories high and spans just over thirty metres long. It is protected by a very thick layer of Alien material, which confers the ability to receive a great deal of punishment. The four xenium reactors required to power this offensive weapon of terror are situated on the lower level while the navigational systems are on the upper. A central grav lift offers the only path from the ground floor upwards. On the top floor, two compartments contain cryogenic pods where creatures designed specifically for terror attacks are kept in stasis, ready to be awakened upon a moments notice. There are gaps in the flooring of these compartments which allows these monstrosities to move between the two levels.

The Intimidator contains an impressive weapons system, giving the ship immense range and dreadful firepower. Intercepting crafts are strongly advised to engage this kind of vessel at the furthest ranges possible as high casualties are projected. The large number of xenium reactors enables the craft to reach speeds which far suprasses that of the XC-1 Gryphon. The huge potential for acceleration and maximum speed make this Alien craft an ideal weapon in hit and run tatcics which adds it's own element of terror.

Large doors on the lower level of the craft allows access for our heavy weapons platforms to gain access to the ship. Unfortunately this give the same advantage to the aliens; the ability to bring greater and more powerful weapons of warfare to the battlefield. Flying terror discs have been associated with sightings of these ships as well as some reports of two-legged walking dinosoaurs

In order to prevent the demoralization of political and local authorities along with the human population in general, interception of Intimidator vessels should be a high priority.

"Wow, this is bigger than a mall. Now that we got rid of the aliens inside, can we use it as a House of Horrors?" wounded corporal Bling looking for a second income

hmmmmm, my battery is about to die. ill see if i can add more soon

#29 Davo

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Posted 15 June 2007 - 05:08 AM

INTIMIDATOR UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

While the majority of Alien activity involves humans on a variety of levels, the aptly named Intimidator seems to be entirely focused upon one objective: To spread terror among humankind. The Intimidator, capable of outrunning and annihilating one of our standard interceptors, is designed as an effective means of conducting hit and run terror missions. The sheer size of the craft alone strikes fear and dread deep into the heart of mankind. This combinded with a heavily armed contingent of alien combatants produces perhaps one of the deadliest crafts within the Alien arsonel that we have encountered.

The vessel itself stands two stories high and spans just over thirty metres long. It is protected by a very thick layer of Alien composite material, which confers the ability to receive a great deal of punishment. The four xenium reactors required to power this offensive weapon of terror are situated on the lower level while the navigational systems are on the upper. A central grav lift offers a limited path from the ground floor upwards. On the top floor, two compartments contain cryogenic pods where creatures designed specifically for terror attacks are kept in stasis, ready to be awakened upon a moments notice. There are large gaps in the flooring of these compartments which allows these monstrosities to move between the two levels.

Large doors on the lower level of the craft allows for X-corps heavy weapons platforms to gain access to the ship. Unfortunately this same advantage is succesfully utelized by the alien menace; the ability to bear more powerful and larger weapons of warfare on the battlefield. Flying terror discs have been associated with sightings of these ships as well as some reports of two-legged walking beasts.

The Intimidator contains an incredibally impressive weapons system capable of burning through some of the toughest materials found on Earth. Tests against high and low tensile strength titanium alloys currently used in the XC-11 class aircrafts resulted in large sections of plating becoming extremely malluable, before completely disintegrating upon further blasts. Intercepting crafts are strongly advised to engage this kind of vessel at the furthest ranges possible as high casualties are projected.

The large number of xenium reactors carried onboard enables the craft to reach speeds which far suprass that of any Earth based technology. Intimidator ships have been reported to have kept pace with the cruisers from the juggernaught class. The huge potential for acceleration and high maximum speed make this Alien craft an ideal weapon in hit and run engagements which seems to add it's own element of terror.

Primarily used to transport large quantities of soldiers swiftly into battle, this class of ship poses a large threat not only to the X-corps itself, but also to the stability and order of the general population. In order to prevent the demoralization of political and local authorities and to keep the humanl population in a state of calmness, interception of Intimidator vessels should be a high priority.

"Wow, this is bigger than a mall. Now that we got rid of the aliens inside, can we use it as a House of Horrors?" wounded corporal Bling looking for a second income


Any better? More suggestions?

#30 Mad

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Posted 15 June 2007 - 09:42 AM

Sorry, I'm kind of distracted atm. A lot of RL trouble going on. Serious trouble. Anyway, let me check...

INTIMIDATOR UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

While the majority of Alien activity involves humans on a variety of levels, the aptly named Intimidator seems to be entirely focused upon one objective: To spread terror among humankind. The Intimidator, capable of outrunning and annihilating one of our standard interceptors, is designed as an effective means of conducting hit and run terror missions. The sheer size of the craft alone strikes fear and dread deep into the heart of mankind. This combinded with a heavily armed contingent of alien combatants produces perhaps one of the deadliest crafts within the Alien arsonel that we have encountered.

The vessel itself stands two stories high and spans just over thirty metres long. It is protected by a very thick layer of Alien composite material, which confers the ability to receive a great deal of punishment look for a better word. maybe just damage?. The four xenium reactors required to power this offensive weapon of terror are situated on the lower level while the navigational systems are on the upper. A central grav lift offers a limited path from the ground floor upwards. On the top floor, two compartments contain cryogenic pods really? So why aint we researching these? Don't get me weong I just love the idea, but the player might miss the crygenic pod on the research list where creatures designed specifically for terror attacks are kept in stasis, ready to be awakened upon a moments notice. There are large gaps in the flooring of these compartments which allows these monstrosities to move between the two levels. maybe a little too much atmosphere... :)

Large doors on the lower level of the craft allows for X-corps heavy weapons platforms to gain access to the ship. Unfortunately this same advantage is succesfully utelized by the alien menace; the ability to bear more powerful and larger weapons of warfare on the battlefield. this sentence should be inverted. the doors are designed for the aliens, XCAPS can use them as well. Flying terror discs have been associated with sightings of these ships as well as some reports of two-legged walking beasts.

The Intimidator contains an incredibally impressive weapons system capable of burning through some of the toughest materials found on Earth. Tests against high and low tensile strength titanium alloys currently used in the XC-11 class aircrafts did you crosscheck this with the XC-11 CT? resulted in large sections of plating becoming extremely malluable, before completely disintegrating upon further blasts. Intercepting crafts are strongly advised to engage this kind of vessel at the furthest ranges possible as high casualties are projected.

The large number of xenium reactors carried onboard enables the craft to reach speeds which far surpass that of any Earth based technology. Intimidator ships have been reported to have kept pace with the cruisers from the juggernaught class. The huge potential for acceleration and high maximum speed make this Alien craft an ideal weapon in hit and run engagements which seems to add it's own element of terror.

Primarily used to transport large quantities of soldiers swiftly into battle, this class of ship poses a large threat not only to the X-corps itself, but also to the stability and order of the general population. In order to prevent the demoralization of political and local authorities and to keep the human population in a state of calmness, interception of Intimidator vessels should be a high priority.

"Wow, this is bigger than a mall. Now that we got rid of the aliens inside, can we use it as a House of Horrors?" wounded corporal Bling looking for a second income


Very nice CT! good work
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#31 Davo

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Posted 17 June 2007 - 07:33 PM

Hey, that sucks mate. Hope it gets better for ya. Anything we can do to help im sure we all will......Hope it does go better for ya.

On the ct side of things, I tried to keep it as original as it was. Sorta...

INTIMIDATOR UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

While the majority of Alien activity involves humans on a variety of levels, the aptly named Intimidator seems to be entirely focused upon one objective: To spread terror among humankind. The Intimidator, capable of outrunning and annihilating one of our standard interceptors, is designed as an effective means of conducting hit and run terror missions. The sheer size of the craft alone strikes fear and dread deep into the heart of mankind. This combinded with a heavily armed contingent of alien combatants produces perhaps one of the deadliest crafts within the Alien arsonel that we have encountered.

The vessel itself stands two stories high and spans just over thirty metres long. It is protected by a very thick layer of Alien composite material, which allows it to sustain large amounts of damage. The four xenium reactors required to power this offensive weapon of terror are situated on the lower level while the navigational systems are on the upper. A central grav lift offers a limited path between the two levels. On the top floor, two compartments act as storage rooms where it is believed larger creatures and heavier weaponry are stored until needed. There are large gaps in the flooring of these compartments which possibily allows for movement between the two levels.

Large doors on the lower level of the craft allows the Aliens to supply much larger and potentially more deadly weapons on the battlefield. Large flying discs have associated with these ships as well as some reports of two-legged walking beasts. Fortunately, this can be exploited by attacking forces. The large doors are wide enough to allow for X-corps heavy weapon platforms to pass through them and be bought to bear inside the ship.



***did you crosscheck this with the XC-11 CT? The ct for the xc-11 is what gave me the idea of it :) although the other ct does not say anything about high or llow tensile strengths. Looking at the damage a terrorship did in x-com and the amount a skyranger could sustain ment that it theoretically would take 2 shots to down a skyranger and only one to nail an interceptor. Not sure if it was going to be the same stats though... and here is XC-11 ct

...The XC-11 also features titanium alloy armor-plating, providing our troops and equipment with superior protection from small arms fire.


The Intimidator contains an incredibally impressive weapons system capable of burning through some of the toughest materials found on Earth. Tests against high and low tensile strength titanium alloys currently used in the XC-11 class aircrafts resulted in large sections of plating becoming extremely malluable, before completely disintegrating upon further blasts. Intercepting crafts are strongly advised to engage this kind of vessel at the furthest ranges possible as high casualties are projected.

The large number of xenium reactors carried onboard enables the craft to reach speeds which far surpass that of any Earth based technology. Intimidator ships have been reported to have kept pace with the cruisers from the juggernaught class. The huge potential for acceleration and high maximum speed make this Alien craft an ideal weapon in hit and run engagements which seems to add it's own element of terror.

Primarily used to transport large quantities of soldiers swiftly into battle, this class of ship poses a large threat not only to the X-corps itself, but also to the stability and order of the general population. In order to prevent the demoralization of political and local authorities and to keep the human population in a state of calmness, interception of Intimidator vessels should be a high priority.

"Wow, this is bigger than a mall. Now that we got rid of the aliens inside, can we use it as a House of Horrors?" wounded corporal Bling looking for a second income



Better? ill take another look at it in a couple of weeks because its my own work and I cant see anything wrong with it! HAAHAHA. But seriously mate, if you need a hand with ANYthing , Im sure at least someone can give you some help.

Edited by Davo, 17 June 2007 - 07:35 PM.


#32 Astyanax

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Posted 26 June 2007 - 01:37 AM

My comments in purple. Sorry, I'm kinda tired so I'll just zip on through the text.
p.s. I guess I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of Astyanaxization™ now... ^_^

INTIMIDATOR UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

While the majority of Alien activity involves humans on a variety of levels, the aptly named Intimidator seems to be entirely focused upon one objective: To spread terror among humankind. The Intimidator, capable of outrunning and annihilating one of our standard interceptors, is designed as an effective means of conducting hit and run terror missions. The sheer size of the craft alone strikes fear and dread deep into the heart of mankind. This combinded with a heavily armed contingent of alien combatants produces perhaps one of the deadliest crafts within the Alien arsonel that we have encountered.

The first sentence is a bit vague. The majority of Alien activity involves humans (on a variety of levels?), but the Intimidator focuses only on spreading terror. "On a variety of levels" is not very descriptive- consider deleting? Also, doesn't spreading terror also involve humans? The structure of the sentence (while... but) doesn't seem to fit what this sentence is saying (or I'm misunderstanding the sentence).

The vessel itself stands two stories high and spans just over thirty metres long. It is protected by a very thick layer of Alien composite material, which allows it to sustain large amounts of damage. The four xenium reactors required to power this offensive weapon of terror are situated on the lower level while the navigational systems are on the upper. A central grav lift offers a limited path between the two levels. On the top floor, two compartments act as storage rooms where it is believed larger creatures and heavier weaponry are stored until needed. There are large gaps in the flooring of these compartments which possibily allows for movement between the two levels.

The description of the top floor seems to be stating the obvious: "On the top floor, two compartments act as storage rooms where it is believed larger creatures and heavier weaponry are stored until needed." Imho, I don't think the compartments need to act as storage rooms... they are storage rooms. :) Maybe: On the top floor, two storage compartments are reserved for larger creatures and heavier weaponry. Also, why the vagueness in the text (is believed)? Isn't this CT revealed after research on the this UFO?

Large doors on the lower level of the craft allows the Aliens to supply much larger and potentially more deadly weapons on the battlefield. Large flying discs have associated with these ships as well as some reports of two-legged walking beasts. Fortunately, this can be exploited by attacking forces. The large doors are wide enough to allow for X-corps heavy weapon platforms to pass through them and be bought to bear inside the ship.



***did you crosscheck this with the XC-11 CT? The ct for the xc-11 is what gave me the idea of it :) although the other ct does not say anything about high or llow tensile strengths. Looking at the damage a terrorship did in x-com and the amount a skyranger could sustain ment that it theoretically would take 2 shots to down a skyranger and only one to nail an interceptor. Not sure if it was going to be the same stats though... and here is XC-11 ct

...The XC-11 also features titanium alloy armor-plating, providing our troops and equipment with superior protection from small arms fire.


The Intimidator contains an incredibally impressive weapons system capable of burning through some of the toughest materials found on Earth. Tests against high and low tensile strength titanium alloys currently used in the XC-11 class aircrafts resulted in large sections of plating becoming extremely malluable, before completely disintegrating upon further blasts. Intercepting crafts are strongly advised to engage this kind of vessel at the furthest ranges possible as high casualties are projected.

"Incredibly impressive" seems like overkill. We have to leave room so the Battleship (or whatever it's called now) can also be incredible. :) Also, the last sentence is a slight non sequitur: engage from afar because lots of people will be killed. As the sentence is now, there's no reason to stay far away since lots of people will be killed anyway. The sentence would make more sense with something along the lines of: engage from afar due to the sheer destructive potential of the Alien craft...

The large number of xenium reactors carried onboard enables the craft to reach speeds which far surpass that of any Earth based technology. Intimidator ships have been reported to have kept pace with the cruisers from the juggernaught class. The huge potential for acceleration and high maximum speed make this Alien craft an ideal weapon in hit and run engagements which seems to add it's own element of terror.

I'm not sure about the way Intimidator UFOs carry out their mission, but if I'm not mistaken, dropping off units to attack isn't quite hit-and-run so much as strike-and-fade... Hit-and-run implies speed is of the ultimate essence (you don't even leave the vehicle), whereas strike-and-fade means you stay just long enough to complete the objective, then leave as quickly as you came. I think you're referring only to air-to-air battles, though, so maybe ignore this comment. On the other hand, are Cruisers and Juggernauts really fast? The paragraph implies that the Intimidator has the acceleration and max. speed of at least the Cruiser and the Juggernaut. I'm not sure if this is true (I don't know the numbers), so this is just a note to check on later.

Primarily used to transport large quantities of soldiers swiftly into battle, this class of ship poses a large threat not only to the X-corps itself, but also to the stability and order of the general population. In order to prevent the demoralization of political and local authorities and to keep the human population in a state of calmness, interception of Intimidator vessels should be a high priority.

"Wow, this is bigger than a mall. Now that we got rid of the aliens inside, can we use it as a House of Horrors?" wounded corporal Bling looking for a second income


Edited by Astyanax, 26 June 2007 - 01:45 AM.

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#33 Davo

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Posted 26 June 2007 - 05:11 AM

My comments in purple. Sorry, I'm kinda tired so I'll just zip on through the text.
p.s. I guess I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of Astyanaxization™ now... ^_^

INTIMIDATOR UFO
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Intimidator

While the majority of Alien activity involves humans, the aptly named Intimidator seems to be entirely focused upon one objective: To spread terror among humankind. The Intimidator, capable of outrunning and annihilating one of our standard interceptors, is designed as an effective means of conducting hit and run terror missions. The sheer size of the craft alone strikes fear and dread deep into the heart of mankind. This combinded with a heavily armed contingent of alien combatants produces perhaps one of the deadliest crafts within the Alien arsonel that we have encountered.

Also, doesn't spreading terror also involve humans? The structure of the sentence (while... but) doesn't seem to fit what this sentence is saying (or I'm misunderstanding the sentence).Dont know what you mean here? where is while...but?

The vessel itself stands two stories high and spans just over thirty metres long. It is protected by a very thick layer of Alien composite material, which allows it to sustain large amounts of damage. The four xenium reactors required to power this offensive weapon of terror are situated on the lower level while the navigational systems are on the upper. A central grav lift offers a limited path between the two levels. On the top floor, two compartments appear to be storage rooms where it is believed larger creatures and heavier weaponry are stored until needed. There are large gaps in the flooring of these compartments which possibily allows for movement between the two levels.

Isn't this CT revealed after research on the this UFO? When you research an alien navigatgor you were randomly assigned an entry from the ufopaedia, thus it was possible to stun a navigator from a scout ship and get the entry of a battleship, so you may not have already encountered an alien terror ship(or have known what it was without the hyperwave decoder) thus the vaugeness. More than happy to change it, but we dont know it for sure do we? or we do? :P

Large doors on the lower level of the craft allows the Aliens to supply much larger and potentially more deadly weapons on the battlefield. Large flying discs have associated with these ships as well as some reports of two-legged walking beasts. Fortunately, this can be exploited by attacking forces. The large doors are wide enough to allow for X-corps heavy weapon platforms to pass through them and be bought to bear inside the ship.[/color]

The Intimidator contains a rather impressive weapon system capable of burning through some of the toughest materials found on Earth. Tests against high and low tensile strength titanium alloys currently used in the XC-11 class aircrafts resulted in large sections of plating becoming extremely malluable, before completely disintegrating upon further blasts. Intercepting crafts are strongly advised to engage from afar due to the sheer destructive potential of the Alien craft.

The large number of xenium reactors carried onboard enables the craft to reach speeds which far surpass that of any Earth based technology. Intimidator ships have been reported to have kept pace with the cruisers from the juggernaught class. The huge potential for acceleration and high maximum speed make this Alien craft an ideal weapon in hit and run engagements which seems to add it's own element of terror.

I'm not sure about the way Intimidator UFOs carry out their mission, but if I'm not mistaken, dropping off units to attack isn't quite hit-and-run so much as strike-and-fade... Hit-and-run implies speed is of the ultimate essence (you don't even leave the vehicle), whereas strike-and-fade means you stay just long enough to complete the objective, then leave as quickly as you came. I think you're referring only to air-to-air battles, though, so maybe ignore this comment. On the other hand, are Cruisers and Juggernauts really fast? The paragraph implies that the Intimidator has the acceleration and max. speed of at least the Cruiser and the Juggernaut. I'm not sure if this is true (I don't know the numbers), so this is just a note to check on later. Hmmm, not sure if I even know what I mean :) But in saying that, if you did not go on the terror mission the attack would only last twelve hours before disppearing(assuming they had completed the mission). Whether or not the ship only flew off if you landed at the site or whether the ship came back and picked up the aliens when they had completed whatever their mission was is unknown. Looking at it now, how does something like "The huge potential for acceleration and high maximum speed make this craft an ideal weapon in hit-and-fade engagements which seems to add its own element of terror? Sounds kind of weak to me :( hahhaa, not saying the whole thing cant be re-worded. Doesnt seem to have the same 'atmosphere' hahaha. They intimidator has only 200mph less max speed than the juggernaught (battleship inspired) Any sugestions or remove the whole sentence?

Primarily used to transport large quantities of soldiers swiftly into battle, this class of ship poses a large threat not only to the X-corps itself, but also to the stability and order of the general population. In order to prevent the demoralization of political and local authorities and to keep the human population in a state of calmness, interception of Intimidator vessels should be a high priority.

"Wow, this is bigger than a mall. Now that we got rid of the aliens inside, can we use it as a House of Horrors?" wounded corporal Bling looking for a second income


P.S Gday Asty, nice to meet ya mate!

#34 Astyanax

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Posted 27 June 2007 - 01:41 AM

Hey Davo,

Sorry, I must've been having a brain burp when I wrote that "while... but" part. I don't understand what I wrote either! :P Hm, I think I meant that when you have a sentence that uses "while" (like in the text), the part after the comma is usually in contrast. I'm not explaining it very well... It's like:

(note that this only applies when "while" does not mean "during")
While Aliens involve humans in xx mission, they do not in yy mission.
While many did this, I did not.
While doing this causes sometimes xx to happen, doing that only causes xx to happen. (contrast between sometimes and only)

In the text:

While the majority of Alien activity involves humans, the aptly named Intimidator seems to be entirely focused upon one objective: To spread terror among humankind.

Paraphrased: While most Alien activity involves humans, the Intimidator involves humans. Two things: There doesn't seem to be any contrast, and the objects for comparison are "activity" and the Intimidator ship. It's sort of like comparing apples and oranges. If the point is that the Intimidator is a specialized ship with one purpose, the sentence might be better phrased as: "While the majority of Alien craft serve in different roles for which they were designed, the aptly named Intimidator seems to have only one focus: to spread terror among humankind."

As for "hit-and-run," the meaning here in the States is that you hit someone with your car while driving, and instead of stopping and taking responsibility, you drive off. Illegal, by the way. What this means for the text is that I don't think Alien Terror missions are quite so hasty, but it's a matter of interpretation, so I'm not too invested in the change. :P

Good point about the ship not necessarily staying during the Terror mission- I forgot about that. Hm, I guess terror missions are sort of like dropping off paratroopers - the transport ship doesn't stick around. Still not quite "hit-and-run" in the traditional sense, but it doesn't bother me much. :P Maybe something like: "In fact, Intimidator performance numbers appear to rival those of even Alien Cruisers of the Juggernaught class. In addition to its role in land-based Terror missions, the Intimidator's huge potential for acceleration and high maximum speed make this Alien craft a terror of the skies as well."

Edited by Astyanax, 27 June 2007 - 01:47 AM.

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#35 Mad

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Posted 05 August 2007 - 04:39 AM

Davo?
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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