Jump to content
XCOMUFO & Xenocide

CTD - Reaper UFO


Recommended Posts

[harvester]
The harvester is a medium craft, with a strange use considered disgusting by most of the human race. The aliens turn to these craft to harvest cattle for food and genetic material for experiments. The aliens often do disections on the creature on a surgery platform in the middle of the ship. It is clear the aliens have a need for these abductions, however. The aliens granted this ship heavy armaments, making it obvious that they do not want to be disturbed during these missions. It is also heavily crewed, makig it hazardous to attack a landed harvester. It is slower and less maneuverable than its cousin, the abductor. Do not attack this craft unless you are prepared for its hordes of aliens.

How is it? :rock: Edited by Breunor
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I edited your post just to remove the exclaim icon in the title.
Check out the [url="http://www.xcomufo.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=3011"]alien food[/url] thread for some ideas you can tie in with. Also make sure to refer to other entries using brackets, such as [abductor]. The reason being, we should come up with a new name for this UFO as well, so we aren't using the names from xcom. Perhaps Reaper? You reap what you sow, that kind of thing.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[Harnesser]
The harvester is a medium craft, with a strange use considered disgusting by most of the human race. The aliens turn to these craft to harvest cattle for food and genetic material for experiments. The aliens often do dissections on the creature on a surgery platform in the middle of the ship. It is clear the aliens have a need for these abductions, however. The aliens granted this ship heavy armaments, making it obvious that they do not want to be disturbed during these missions. It is also heavily crewed, making it hazardous to attack a landed [harvester]. It is slower and less maneuverable than its cousin, the [abductor]. Do not attack this craft unless you are prepared for its hordes of aliens.
“What’s with the cow”-X-com rookie James Bugel, upon completing his first combat mission against a harvester
Whenever a farmer makes the gruesome discovery of his prized farm animals gone or eviscerated, it causes a massive panic, often followed by funding decrease by the nations government. These ships will often go on a spree of abductions, visiting several farms in a night, before they leave the site with whatever the use of these abductions is for. It is disputed whether the aliens will resort to this horrific tactic specifically to try and decrease X-com funding, and whether the aliens really need to be abducting cattle.


P.S. Gave it the name harnesser :D
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think that the abductions should be taken so seriously. It seems that abducting cattle is pretty low on X-Corps priority.

"Although cattle rustling may seem minor, the countries involved don't like the extra expenses of keeping the farmers quiet. They will often deduct the money from their X-Corps support."
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, it seems that collecting cattle in the middle of the night isn't a very agressive thing to do. Wouldn't it be much scarier to kidnap cattle in broad daylight? It seems that the aliens want this sort of activity hidden more than the others.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

"This just in! A farmer loses 2 head of cattle, and blames it on aliens!"

Nah, it doesn't seem to work right. You'd see that sort of thing in the tabloids, which no one believes, anyways.

There is a terror mission. That'd cause at least 10 times more hysteria than a cow ever could.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[Bloodray]
The harvester is a medium craft, with a strange use considered disgusting by most of the human race. The aliens turn to these craft to harvest cattle for food and genetic material for experiments. The aliens often do dissections on the creature on a surgery platform in the middle of the ship. It is clear the aliens have a need for these abductions, however. The aliens granted this ship heavy armaments, making it obvious that they do not want to be disturbed during these missions. It is also heavily crewed, making it hazardous to attack a landed [harvester]. It is slower and less maneuverable than its cousin, the [abductor]. Do not attack this craft unless you are prepared for its hordes of aliens.
“What’s with the cow”-X-com rookie James Bugel, upon completing his first combat mission against a harvester
Whenever a farmer makes the gruesome discovery of his prized farm animals gone or eviscerated, large panic in the local areas often followed by funding decrease by the nations government. These ships will often go on a spree of abductions, visiting several farms in a night, before they leave the site with whatever the use of these abductions is for. It is disputed whether the aliens will resort to this horrific tactic specifically to try and decrease X-com funding, and whether the aliens really need to be abducting cattle.
“It was horrible. Horrible. Horrible.”-Farmer John Habkin upon the gruesome discovery of all 123 of his cows dead.
Not many of these ships are found, usually because these missions are done at night, and the danger of these ships to humans is unknown, and if these ships will risk their cargo in any way to defend itself from enemy ships. Due to the very short range of its armaments, and the firepower, as well as the very slow speed of the craft has prevented X-com pilots to be able to observe the tactics of this craft. When downed, however, the aliens on board are often suicidal, firing upon troops even when there is an almost 0% chance of hitting them, and moving close just for a chance too kill. Due to this observation, it is believed it is mostly lower ranks thirsty for a promotion who pilot these craft. The ship's interior is very complicated as well, with no direct access to the main surgery room unless the 3 power sources in the middle of the room were destroyed. When this happens, it often completely destroys the first and most of the second level, leaving nothing but the third level inside. The ship is most commonly piloted by sectoids and floaters, and it is extremely rare to have etherials inside of these craft, more evidence that these craft are mainly for the lower ranked aliens.





added a whole new paragraph!!!
Also made a new name!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[Bloodray]
The harvester is a medium craft, with a strange use considered disgusting by most of the human race. The aliens turn to these craft to harvest cattle for food and genetic material for experiments. The aliens often do dissections on the creature on a surgery platform in the middle of the ship. It is clear the aliens have a need for these abductions, however. The aliens granted this ship heavy armaments, making it obvious that they do not want to be disturbed during these missions. It is also heavily crewed, making it hazardous to attack a landed [harvester]. It is slower and less maneuverable than its cousin, the [abductor]. Do not attack this craft unless you are prepared for its hordes of aliens.
“What’s with the cow”-X-com rookie James Bugel, upon completing his first combat mission against a harvester
Whenever a farmer makes the gruesome discovery of his prized farm animals gone or eviscerated, large panic in the local areas often followed by funding decrease by the nations government. These ships will often go on a spree of abductions, visiting several farms in a night, before they leave the site with whatever the use of these abductions is for. It is disputed whether the aliens will resort to this horrific tactic specifically to try and decrease X-com funding, and whether the aliens really need to be abducting cattle.
“It was horrible. Horrible. Horrible.”-Farmer John Habkin upon the gruesome discovery of all 123 of his cows dead.
Not many of these ships are found, usually because these missions are done at night, and the danger of these ships to humans is unknown, and if these ships will risk their cargo in any way to defend itself from enemy ships. Due to the very short range of its armaments, and the firepower, as well as the very slow speed of the craft has prevented X-com pilots to be able to observe the tactics of this craft. When downed, however, the aliens on board are often suicidal, firing upon troops even when there is an almost 0% chance of hitting them, and moving close just for a chance too kill. Due to this observation, it is believed it is mostly lower ranks thirsty for a promotion who pilot these craft. The ship's interior is very complicated as well, with no direct access to the main surgery room unless the 3 power sources in the middle of the room were destroyed. When this happens, it often completely destroys the first and most of the second level, leaving nothing but the third level inside. The ship is most commonly piloted by [sectoids] and [floaters], who, as what seem as the lower ranked aliens, provide even more evidence it is piloted by only low ranked aliens.



fixed it :D
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Assorted fixes, changed some wording, and nuked the last paragraph because it was kind of repetitive. Is this more what you were going for ?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Bloodray]
The harvester is a medium UFO, with a strange and gruesome use. The aliens turn to these craft to collect cattle genetic material. The aliens do these experiments on a [floating] surgery platform in the center of the ship. It is clear that the aliens have a need for these abductions, however, as the aliens have instilled this ship heavy weaponry and armor. This UFO is also heavily crowded, packing in the most aliens, relative to its size. This makes it highly hazardous to attack, so X-corp commanders should be very cautious while assaulting. As a consequence of this armament, the Harvester is slower and less maneuverable than its cousin, the [abductor].

[We should put in another fluff text here, that one wasn’t very funny =/ )

Widespread panic ensues whenever a farmer discovers the vivisection of his animals, so X-corp funding will often be decreased or altogether cut after too many successful Harvester missions, making it imperative to prevent this occurrences as much as possible. There are many theories on what the cause of these missions are, one of which being that the aliens do it to decrease x-corp’s funding.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

"I woke up in a sweat one night, and could hear a strange groaning sound from the fields, like the ground was gettin' ready to come apart. I was so afraid of what that strange light might be, I couldn't bring myself to get the gun and check on the cattle. They were bawlin' like they were at the slaughterhouse, it made my skin crawl. The next morning I made it out to the pasture and just cried at the sight of it all. It was horrible, just horrible..." - Rancher John Habkin

It doesn't need to be funny, just convey the idea of what it might do-
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Realistically there should be just 1 fluff text to all the entries. We might be able to add more after v1 comes out, check out the lab thread regarding news reports at the end-of-month report. I think that would be a great place for people to add in random stories of what went bump in the night, and the clips are picked based on what alien events went undetected during the month.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Possibly after v1 is out, there are threads in the lab IIRC regarding how to handle additional texts or partial entries.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 5 months later...
  • 2 months later...
<third para>
You should probably be a little less specific with information ragarding the crew. </third para>

<second para>
The hardpoints being used as possibility for melee between two aircraft is ok.. but you could probably expand/exchange that into them being used to protect vital/key locations within the vessels shell (reactor cores ect.)

[quote]Only a direct hit form any weapon is guaranteed to stop this craft from its mission.[/quote]

besides the typo, this sentence is somewhat misleading; the rest of the document basically portrays the vessel as almost indestructible. I suggest rephrasing it to something like "only direct hits are sufficient enough to do damage"
</second para>
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The fluff text after the second paragraph seems a bit off-topic, but I suppose you guys know best. You contradicted yourself, too, by saying that the cramped interior made explosives almost useless (last paragraph, first sentence), and then saying that explosives could make capture of the command room easier (last paragraph, last sentence).

I agree with RustedSoul, you were too specific regarding the crew. Why not say something along the lines of ". . .a package of goodies for the X-corps soldiers. The Reaper is heavily manned*, and its crew is armed with some extrememely deadly weaponry." In the original game, the UFOpedia made out everything (even the original Reaper--the alien) to be lethal. And before armor, they are.

*I don't think "crewed" is a word. Anyway, "manned" sounds better to me. Take your pick.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='Tsereve' date='Nov 12 2004, 05:08 PM']The fluff text after the second paragraph seems a bit off-topic, but I suppose you guys know best. 

*I don't think "crewed" is a word.  Anyway, "manned" sounds better to me.  Take your pick.
[right][post="99625"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post][/right][/quote]

I don't think "crewed" is a word either, anyways, manned is better.
I agree, the fluff text is a bit offtopic, and seems out of place being in the middle of the entry, fluff texts are placed at the bottom.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Actually, I don't agree with the text. Why would a craft that is used to collect primitive animals (to them) be heavily armed/armored? This is no combat craft and will most likely never be engaged (purposely) with hostile forces. Yes, later the aliens might refit them, but for the early-mid game they would not be expecting the puny aircraft of X-Corps to be able to intercept them, much less take them down. And why would the crew (again, depends on where in the game you are at) need the most advanced weapons for their men? Most of their mission will occur in remote and/or dark (nighttime) areas and the inhabitants (humans, cows, etc.) are hardly dangerous. Unless the cows are their real enemy..... :huh?: :o

On a side note, what is the status of this CT? I know blehm was "banned" from the internet due to his grades dropping and this was his CT, but will we just leave it here until he is back? Edited by Hailfire22
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='Hailfire22' date='Nov 15 2004, 04:14 PM']Actually, I don't agree with the text. Why would a craft that is used to collect primitive animals (to them) be heavily armed/armored? This is no combat craft and will most likely never be engaged (purposely) with hostile forces. Yes, later the aliens might refit them, but for the early-mid game they would not be expecting the puny aircraft of X-Corps to be able to intercept them, much less take them down. And why would the crew (again, depends on where in the game you are at) need the most advanced weapons for their men? Most of their mission will occur in remote and/or dark (nighttime) areas and the inhabitants (humans, cows, etc.) are hardly dangerous. Unless the cows are their real enemy.....  :huh?:  :o

On a side note, what is the status of this CT? I know blehm was "banned" from the internet due to his grades dropping and this was his CT, but will we just leave it here until he is back?
[right][post="99964"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post][/right][/quote]

do you ( :pink: ) [i]want[/i] to take over for him?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='Azrael' date='Nov 15 2004, 06:40 PM'][quote name='Hailfire22' date='Nov 15 2004, 04:14 PM']Actually, I don't agree with the text. Why would a craft that is used to collect primitive animals (to them) be heavily armed/armored? This is no combat craft and will most likely never be engaged (purposely) with hostile forces. Yes, later the aliens might refit them, but for the early-mid game they would not be expecting the puny aircraft of X-Corps to be able to intercept them, much less take them down. And why would the crew (again, depends on where in the game you are at) need the most advanced weapons for their men? Most of their mission will occur in remote and/or dark (nighttime) areas and the inhabitants (humans, cows, etc.) are hardly dangerous. Unless the cows are their real enemy.....  :huh?:  :o

On a side note, what is the status of this CT? I know blehm was "banned" from the internet due to his grades dropping and this was his CT, but will we just leave it here until he is back?
[right][post="99964"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post][/right][/quote]

do you ( :pink: ) [i]want[/i] to take over for him?
[right][post="99981"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post][/right]
[/quote]

Well it's his so we should wait and see if he comes back. If, say, he's not back by the 30th I'll take over. Thank you Azrael ( :pink: ).
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='Hailfire22' date='Nov 16 2004, 05:10 PM'][quote name='Azrael' date='Nov 16 2004, 05:06 PM']We will see  ^_^
[right][post="100052"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post][/right][/quote]

Well we can both do it together, it's not like I'm trying have CT all to myself ^_^
[right][post="100053"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post][/right]
[/quote]

Of course, I'm sure Blehm won't be mad at you for giving him a hand.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hailfire22, start it now if you like.. Blehm has the XC-11 to wrap up and he is also part of the proofreading task force. If he is having problems at school he will be too busy to wrap this one up as well.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...
Please don't post files, it... annoys me :), change names for the new ones, no corrections here.... yet :naughty:

[color="red"]REAPER
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Reaper[/color]

The Reaper is a medium sized craft, charged with a gross and often bloody mission. The aliens conduct “Harvester” missions, or when these craft abduct cattle and other farm animals for nourishment and genetic material to experiment with.

The Reaper is a large, slow, and not very maneuverable alien craft, but it makes up for this with an extremely powerful armament and a massive amount of armor. It has shown to be extremely resistant to almost any form of weapon we have, with bullets just pinging off the edge of the craft, and explosions from missiles only reflecting off the armor’s surface. Only a direct hit from any weapon is guaranteed to stop this craft from its mission. It also seems to have certain hard points that are much stronger than the rest of the craft, including under the engines and on the points of the craft, hinting that this craft may ram X-corps craft if they dare venture too close. However, that is an extremely unlikely case, as in the few cases any aircraft has gotten within close proximity of a Reaper, it was either destroyed or almost destroyed, due to its large armaments, which compose of light plasma beams, similar to the ones mounted on [Medium Scouts]*, but with the added firepower of having a second turret. There was also a more advanced Magnetic Field device in the plasma beams, giving the plasma a much longer range, although this range advantage is not as great as the Large Scout’s.


“Those poor cows. We must stop attacking the aliens, as further aggression against them will surely make them attack even more cows” – Johnny Bernard, Head of the “Aliens are Friends” organization

The inside of this craft is highly cramped, meaning explosives rarely have a use inside of the craft. It was designed solely for its mission, but do not, however, take this as a hint the Reaper is just a package of goodies for X-corps soldiers. The Reaper is heavily crewed, with at least one leader, a squad of 5 soldiers, and a compliment of Technicians to care for the equipment. The Technicians are often equipped with the lighter plasma weapons, but the leader and soldiers are often given the best alien equipment. Often times, the leader will opt to stay in the command room of the Reaper, with 2 guards for extra protection, meaning that the command room is often very difficult to capture, but a carefully placed [High explosive, sorry, forgot new name] could play a vital role if set correctly, as it could blast a hole throw the alien doors or catch them unaware as they check the outside hallways.

* - I used Medium scout because it the Large Scout’s beams are also upgraded with this expanded range technology, and a Harvester does not have longer ranged weaponry than the Large Scout
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A few things minor things I've noticed:

Should we be capitalizing Alien?
Should we put "ALIEN" before "REAPER" in the heading?
"[Medium Scout]" should be "Alien Recon"
"compliment" (paragraph 4) should be "complement"
"[High Explosive]" should be "Satchel Charge"

Aside from that, there are a few places that I feel could use a little more attention, but I think the ideas you have in the entry are pretty good.

[quote]Only a direct hit from any weapon is guaranteed to stop this craft from its mission.[/quote]This is a little vague, since it implies that any weapon, even a cannon round, scoring a direct hit can bring the Reaper down. I would suggest something along the lines of "Only a devastating strike is guaranteed to stop..."


[quote]There was also a more advanced Magnetic Field device in the plasma beams...[/quote]Looking through the "Final Names List", I couldn't find the new name for Plasma Cannons. As for "Magnetic Field device," I was thinking of "Magnetic Containment Field." At least as far as I know, plasma is contained by a magnetic field to prevent it from going all over the place and causing unwanted destruction. So, a stronger containment field might allow for a larger amount of plasma in each salvo?


[quote]The inside of this craft is highly cramped, meaning explosives rarely have a use inside of the craft.[/quote][quote]...the command room is often very difficult to capture, but a carefully placed [High explosive, sorry, forgot new name] could play a vital role if set correctly...[/quote]Slight contradiction here.


It's a good start!

-Asty Edited by Astyanax
Link to comment
Share on other sites

suggestions noted, i just want to wait for another CTD member to post before i revise it again

when i say the inside is cramped, notice i say that explosives are [i]rarely[/i] usefull, should i change that phrase again slightly?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay, i need someone else to take responsibility of this topic, and i so want to help out, but i odn't have time to upload my version of teh laser cannon and medikit :cry1:
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi blehm-

If you wouldn't mind, I could look after this thread. I could also revise the text, but only if it's ok with you.

I'm sorry to hear about your RL stuff, but from what I've seen thus far, I know you'll be back as soon as humanly possible. We won't be going anywhere.

-Asty
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...

No reply in over two months... :(

 

Anyway, would anyone mind me taking over this text? I've looked over ex_Con87's Alien Harvest CT quite a few times so I think I'm up to the task, and Capt. Boxershort's progress on his UFO CTs makes me want to channel my creative energies into another Alien craft. :P

Edited by Astyanax
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...

Well, another three months have passed, so I've written up a new version of the Reaper UFO CT at Azrael's behest. Once this text is cleaned up, I'll work on the Alien Harvest Mission text, which I've been told has been abandoned.

 

As for this text, I think I might need to write a conclusion paragraph to wrap things up? I kind of lost steam towards the end, so the last paragraph seems a bit dull to me. Any ideas on the text would be very helpful- I'm all out of ideas. :)

 

One problem with the text is that the Reaper never really needs to land. Another is why the Aliens don't use this gravity manipulator against X-Corps soldiers entering the craft. I'd love to hear some ideas to get around these difficult spots.

 

REAPER

X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Reaper

 

Though the Reaper’s specializes more in harvesting raw animal tissues than aerial combat, it is a definite upgrade from the [scout class] UFOs we encountered during the early months of the Alien invasion.  Capable of maintaining nearly twice the velocity and sustaining five times the damage of our [interceptors], the Reaper may signal the beginning of a frightening trend towards larger, more dangerous Alien craft.  The Reaper, charged with gathering bloody samples for its Alien Harvest Mission, can competently defend itself with its medium ranged plasma weapons should it be disturbed.

 

“Those poor cows. We must stop attacking the aliens, as further aggression against them will surely make them attack even more cows” – Johnny Bernard, Head of the “Aliens are Friends” organization

 

The Reaper’s reinforced substructure houses an enormous gravity manipulator able to exert fine control over gravitational fields.  Nearly the entire bottom portion of the Reaper is dedicated to this prominent device; direct conduits to several Xenium Reactor cores are necessary to meet the extraordinary power requirements of the manipulator.  This device appears to only be used for during Alien’s harvesting process, and according to its design parameters, it seems to be useful only at low altitudes and short ranges.  These limitations, combined with prodigious energy consumption, make the device too impractical for military applications in the foreseeable future.

 

There is no denying the potency of the device, however; the gory carcasses the Reaper leaves in its wake are unmistakable.

 

Once unseen gravitational forces raise the unsuspecting creature from the ground, the distortions literally flay the poor creature in mid-air, ripping sinews from bones and tearing organs asunder.  The desired tissues wrenched from the still-living creature during this incredibly brutal process are levitated to a dedicated sample bay on the underside of the craft, leaving the lifeless remains to splatter across the ground in a bloody mess.

 

As terrible as animal mutilations may be, little other than first-hand experience can truly prepare our soldiers for lies inside the Reaper.  The foul stench of blood pervades the interior of the craft, and dimly lit corridors make for tense battle conditions.  Environmental hazards abound: the gravity manipulator’s arcing energy conduits and the Xenium Reactors on the first level could rupture and explode with a single careless shot.

 

On the second level, the cold, sterile walkways wind around well-lit, blood-splattered cubicles filled with inhumane surgical devices designed for calculated and cruel efficiency- for when the Aliens take whole animal specimens.  There seem to be no limits to the sadistic Alien imagination: machines with razor sharp claws and laser scalpels to lacerate writhing victims, devices to cull particular cellular components from rendered flesh and organs, bubbling vats of noxious chemicals feeding into transparent tanks containing ragged animal parts…

 

Beyond the menagerie of monstrosities on the second floor lies the top level, which contains the command and navigational control center- the heart of the Reaper.  The veterans among the Alien crew usually take their last stand here, raining deadly bolts of plasma on our soldiers from places of concealment.  Killing the leader and taking the command center is sure to reduce the morale of the any Aliens stragglers.

 

“A grisly museum of horrors…” –Capt. Grigoriy Naberezhnyi

Edited by Astyanax
Link to comment
Share on other sites

First of all: Hi! I´m glad to be back, after a troublesome exam period... :)

And now, back to work:

Well,actually I think the text is a little bit too bloody and sensational to be a scientists report, or am I wrong? Don´t get me wrong, I personally don´t care, but I think it might be too much for some people...

 

so, blue for comments, orange for additions, red for deletions...

 

REAPER

 

X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Craft/Reaper

 

Though the Reaper’s specializes more in harvesting raw animal tissues than aerial combat, it is a definite upgrade from the [scout class] UFOs we encountered during the early months of the Alien invasion.  Capable of maintaining nearly twice the velocity and sustaining five times the damage of our [interceptors], the Reaper may signal the beginning of a frightening trend towards larger, more dangerous Alien craft.  The Reaper, charged with gathering bloody samples maybe you want to delete  bloody and just use "tissue samples" for its Alien Harvest Mission, can competently defend itself with its medium ranged plasma weapons should it be disturbed.

 

“Those poor cows. We must stop attacking the aliens, as further aggression against them will surely make them attack even more cows” – Johnny Bernard, Head of the “Aliens are Friends” organization

 

The Reaper’s reinforced substructure houses an enormous gravity manipulator able to exert fine control over gravitational fields.  Nearly the entire bottom portion "base"? of the Reaper is dedicated to this prominent device; direct conduits to several Xenium Reactor cores are necessary to meet the extraordinary power requirements of the manipulator.  This device appears to only be used only for during the Alien’s harvesting process. , and According to its design parameters, it only seems to be useful only at low altitudes and short ranges. These limitations, combined with prodigious energy consumption, make the device too impractical for military applications in the foreseeable future. Hm, I don´t like the sound of this sentence - especially the "make" and the forseeable future" sound strange in my ears, but i don´t have a clue how to make it better... Sorry.

 

There is no denying the potency of the device, however; the gory carcasses the Reaper leaves in its wake are unmistakable.

 

Once unseen gravitational forces raise the unsuspecting creature from the ground, the distortions literally flay the poor creature in mid-air, ripping sinews from bones and tearing organs asunder.  The desired tissues wrenched from the still-living creature during this incredibly brutal process are levitated to a dedicated sample bay on the underside of the craft, leaving the lifeless remains to splatter across the ground in a bloody mess. Uhm... could you rewrite this with less blood? ;) Maybe like: "[...] leaving the lifeless remains dropping back to the ground"

 

As terrible as animal mutilations may be, little other than first-hand experience can truly prepare our soldiers for what lies inside the Reaper.  The foul stench of blood pervades the interior of the craft, and dimly lit corridors make for tense battle conditions.  Environmental hazards abound: the gravity manipulator’s arcing energy conduits and the Xenium Reactors on the first level could rupture and explode with a single careless shot.

 

On the second level, the cold, sterile walkways wind around well-lit, blood-splattered "ensanguined"? cubicles filled with inhumane surgical devices designed for calculated and cruel efficiency- for when the Aliens take "abduct"? whole "complete"? animal specimens.  There seems to be no limits to the sadistic Alien imagination: machines with razor sharp claws and laser scalpels to lacerate writhing victims, devices to cull particular cellular components from rendered flesh and organs, bubbling vats of noxious chemicals feeding into transparent tanks containing ragged animal parts…

 

Beyond the menagerie of monstrosities on the second floor lies the top level, which contains the command and navigational control center- the heart of the Reaper.  The veterans among the Alien crew usually take their last stand here, raining deadly bolts of plasma on our soldiers from places of concealment. Maybe "[...] sniping on our soldiers with their deadly plasma weapons." Ok, I agree, It doesn´t sound as nice as yours, but I think its more demure, and consequential more apropriate for a scientific report. With Killing the leader and taking the command center is sure to reduce the morale of the any Aliens stragglers.

 

I don´t think a wrap-up is needed, but one could write: "Concerning our rich experience with the reaper it is a combatant which must not be underestimatet. It sure isnt just a better harvesting machine. Proceeding with extreme caution is advised"

 

“A grisly museum of horrors…” –Capt. Grigoriy Naberezhnyi

Edited by Mad
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Mad, glad to have you back. :)

 

Thanks for the comments, guys. Vaaish gave me some excellent feedback as well, and looking at my text again, I definitely agree that I tried too hard making the Aliens look evil and sadistic; I should let their actions speak for themselves. Besides, as Mad pointed out, this is a scientific report.

 

Though I'll be mulling over the feedback I've already been given, new comments, ideas, or criticisms are still welcome.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'll post my comments once you make those aliens look less sadistic :P

They have to eat anyway, don't they?

 

Just think of it for a sec, aren't you sadistic when you eat some roast chicken? :P

Edited by kafros
Link to comment
Share on other sites

:(

i completely forgot about this one

if i had remembered it was here and noticed that no one was doing anything i would have taken it

oh well

and good job

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...