Some minor spelling and grammar fixes (
red for additions,
orange for deletions), capitalized two instances of Alien, and added comments in
blue.
I only noticed this as I was finishing my reading of the text, but the grenade launcher
IS the HE unit that was removed from the OICW design. This should be MUCH more clearly stated.
XM-8 [LIGHT RIFLE]
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Weapons/[Light Rifle]
At Project Xenocide's inception in [???????], its newly-appointed infantry commanders immediately set about selecting personal weapons with which to equip their soldiers. Due to the mu
lti-national nature of the organization, individual commanders naturally chose the weapons most familiar to them, leading to impaired combat flexibility and in-service squabbling. In reaction to this farcical situation, X-Corps' Supreme Command decided to commission a single standard-issue rifle with which all soldiers would be trained in the use of.
There were several competitors in the bid to become X-Corps’ standard-issue rifle. The principal candidate
, and clear winner, the XM-8, had a peculiar history.
The first sentence is unusual; the competitors (people) aren't bidding to become rifles.
Maybe: "There were several designs competing to become the X-Corps' standard-issue rifle." or "There were several competing designs vying to become the X-Corps' standard-issue rifle."Commis
sioned in the early 1990s
, the United States’ Objective Individual Combat Weapon (OICW) was intended to become the main lethal component of the Land Warrior program
me. The OICW
was to feature
d an advanced targeting system, and
would fire
d standard Kinetic Energy (KE) 5.56mm rounds. Its most remarkable feature was the intelligent grenade launcher which comprised the top half of the weapon, and could be used to attack targets in cover. The weapon’s designers claimed it to be the most advanced rifle in existence.
There is a lot of passive tense in this paragraph ("was" is most predominant); suggest changing to a more active tense. There is some verb confusion in this paragraph- did the OICW actually exist or not? Later paragraphs suggest that it did, but it had flaws; I changed the sentences accordingly. The following paragraphs mention HE components; they probably should be mentioned here first: “The OICW featured an advanced targeting system, and fired either standard Kinetic Energy (KE) or High Explosive (HE) 5.56mm rounds.” Also, as mentioned in previous posts, I think the grenade launcher portion can be safely excised. Geez, I just noticed this… I think the grenade launcher is supposed to be the HE component mentioned later in the text… It should be specified more clearly, and if addressed, never mind my comments on the grenade/HE issue.However, the technological nature of the OICW was its downfall. When first fielded to US Special Forces units in 2009, the OICW’s High Explosive (HE) component revealed itself prone to malfunction. Not only did the targeting system frequently fail to accurately gauge the range to the target, causing the HE rounds to detonate before or beyond the correct distance, but on two occasions HE rounds actually detonated inside the weapon, causing friendly casualties.
In the first sentence, maybe "highly technical nature" instead of "technological nature", since all guns use technology of some sort. Also, how did the HE component come into play? In the last paragraph, the OICW was supposedly designed for KE rounds...Not only was the HE unit unstable, but its great weight and physical size made it unsuitable as a personal weapon, particularly in confined spaces such as trenches and vehicle cockpits. The OICW was recalled by the US military while they contemplated what to do next. In the meantime, most units reverted to the tried-and-tested M4 family of rifles.
I can't see the widespread distribution of the OICW; I would hope that the most egregious design flaws were picked up far earlier, or maybe paragraph 4 can be modified to say that "after prolonged field use" (or something similar, to indicate conditions that weren't adequately tested prior to the weapon's implementation) instead of “when first fielded”. Also, militaries tend to upgrade slowly. Therefore, I'd suggest in the last sentence, "In the meantime, affected units reverted to the tried-and tested M4 family of rifles."The US military’s solution to the OICW dilemma was simple
, yet effective. They simply removed what didn’t work, and kept what did. The HE component was discarded, and the targeting system was attached to the remaining KE component. The resulting weapon was designated the XM-8 Light Rifle.
The XM-8 is an extremely effective weapon, capable of firing 5.56mm rounds from a 30-round magazine at up to 400 rounds per minute. A thumb-activated selector switch allows the soldier to change firing modes from single shot, to three-round burst, to fully automatic. Despite these strengths, the rifle is only 88cm long, and weigh
ts only 3kg, making it extremely handy in tight situations. In these respects, the XM-8 is far superior to the M4 rifle.
The most sophisticated component of the weapon is its TMS sight system, which gives the soldier unparalleled accuracy in single shot mode. The sight system is a combined 4x optical scope (for daylight operations) and night vision/ thermal imaging sensor (for night operations /degraded visibility environments). The soldier can switch between sight modes by activating a button beneath the rifle’s selector switch. The XM-8’s sight system, though partially electronic in nature, has shown no adverse effect in proximity to Alien power systems.
What does TMS stand for? And has there been Alien power systems to test the XM-8’s sight systems against?Though the original concept of the dual-purpose OICW has been lost, the XM-8, combined with conventional hand-thrown HE grenades, may yet prove to be even more useful in combat. All in all, the XM-8 represents the most effective rifle that the Earth can currently field against the Alien menace. Only time will tell how useful this weapon will be.
Needs a fluff. Maybe: "The XM-8, the 2027 (insert appropriate year) Weapon of the Year" -James Weapons, Vol. 2
Edited by Astyanax, 06 April 2005 - 12:09 PM.