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Issue #161: Thanatos: Operation Xenocide


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#1 Anthraxus

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Posted 30 January 2004 - 11:24 AM

Here is the Alien Commander Interrogation. I think the commander may be a little over-cooperative, but I don't see how else you could get any information from it. I like to think that the aliens overwhelming ego makes it sure that as soon as we get close to the Overmind, it will just take over all the Xcorp agents in the area and then send them home under mind control to wipe out Xcorp from the inside. Anyway, Comments, suggestions, etc. all welcome.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ALIEN COMMANDER INTERROGATION REPORT

Summary: Alien captured during alien base raid, in drugged and bound conditions, attempts communication through [Xcorp] representative. Verification of alien purpose on earth and location of extra planetary alien home base accomplished.

Interrogator: [Spc. Mark Dufraine] and [Spc. Eileen McDonald]

Spc. Dufraine (SD): This is the interrogation of a captured and pacified commander. Due to the high priority and importance of this interrogation, I have been ordered to allow the alien to control my mind to speak for itself directly. I am bound, weaponless, to a chair and there are several automated systems that will destroy everything in the room should my behavior become erratic or dangerous. Questions will be issued by remote from the control room. I am prepared to begin.
{Spc. Dufraine closes his eyes and exhales deeply. He shudders and his head snaps up}
Spc. McDonald (SM): Specialist Dufraine, can you hear me?
SD: {There is an odd timbre in his voice} He is quiet.
SM: What is your name and rank?
SD: My name is of no consequence, but I am a commander for the forces of Earth.
SM: What is your purpose here?
SD: To control all life on this planet, or too destroy what we cannot control.
SM: Why Earth? What brought you here?
SD: Here is where we are to be. Since you are already here, you must join us or be removed.
SM: You have established bases on the planet, but where did you ships come from to establish those bases?
SD: You know this already. I can see it in my voice’s mind.
SM: Fine. Do you have multiple bases on Mars?
SD: We do not need multiple bases on the fourth planet.
SM: Then why do you setup multiples here?
SD: Your race reacts much more positively to a local presence than to one a significant distance away.
SM: Where on Mars is your base?
SD: You will die when you arrive. You cannot… I… {Both Spc. Dufraine and the alien begin shaking violently within the restraints. {Spc. Dufraine’s voice loses its odd quality} Eileen! Something’s wrong! Face… Pyramids… the pyramids are key… Something is fighting it. Big, powerful. It’s got me! What? {Spc. Dufraine begins violently fighting against the restraints; the alien rises slowly, still attached to the chair. At this point the automated defenses take effect and destroy everything in the room}
SM: Mark!! No!

Notes: It is believed that the alien was attempting to cooperate with us for reasons unknown. Perhaps it held the belief that we would expend enough energy in trying to reach Mars that we would weaken our efforts here on earth. The face and pyramids mentioned by Spc. Dufraine indicated an area of Mars known as Cydonia as the likely location of the alien base. Action on this information should be taken as soon as possible as it is likely that the other presence that took over Spc. Dufraine now knows the location of our bases.

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#2 Deimos

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Posted 30 January 2004 - 01:04 PM

Hey that's good stuff. If I may it might be a good idea to change the name designaitions as SM and SD are a bit confusing. I understand you want to use specialist in the name but I think it would be better if you used a distinct difference between the names for clarity.

Other than that, I'd expand a little on the Cydonia link. We all know the base is at Cydonia but the link in the text isn't explained in detail. Maybe a little on searching Mars' surface for faces and Pyramids as not everyone will be aware of the link between the two.

Other than that, I really like the text.

#3 Micah

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Posted 30 January 2004 - 01:15 PM

That's really good. Perhaps you could italisize the alien's words to draw the distinction Deimos is requesting.

#4 Anthraxus

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Posted 30 January 2004 - 01:44 PM

How about something like this?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ALIEN COMMANDER INTERROGATION REPORT

Summary: Alien captured during alien base raid, in drugged and bound conditions, attempts communication through [Xcorp] representative. Verification of alien purpose on earth and location of extra planetary alien home base accomplished.

Interrogator: [Spc. Mark Dufraine] and [Spc. Eileen Iwosaka]

Spc. Dufraine (MD): This is the interrogation of a captured and pacified commander. Due to the high priority and importance of this interrogation, I have been ordered to allow the alien to control my mind to speak for itself directly. I am bound, weaponless, to a chair and there are several automated systems that will destroy everything in the room should my behavior become erratic or dangerous. Questions will be issued by remote from the control room. I am prepared to begin.
{Spc. Dufraine closes his eyes and exhales deeply. He shudders and his head snaps up}
Spc. McDonald (EI): Specialist Dufraine, can you hear me?
MD: {There is an odd timbre in his voice} He is quiet.
EI: What is your name and rank?
MD: My name is of no consequence, but I am a commander for the forces of Earth.
EI: What is your purpose here?
MD: To control all life on this planet, or too destroy what we cannot control.
EI: Why Earth? What brought you here?
MD: Here is where we are to be. Since you are already here, you must join us or be removed.
EI: You have established bases on the planet, but where did you ships come from to establish those bases?
MD: You know this already. I can see it in my voice’s mind.
EI: Fine. Do you have multiple bases on Mars?
MD: We do not need multiple bases on the fourth planet.
EI: Then why do you setup multiples here?
MD: Your race reacts much more positively to a local presence than to one a significant distance away.
EI: Where on Mars is your base?
MD: You will die when you arrive. You cannot… I… {Both Spc. Dufraine and the alien begin shaking violently within the restraints. {Spc. Dufraine’s voice loses its odd quality} Eileen! Something’s wrong! Face… Pyramids… the pyramids are key… Something is fighting it. Big, powerful. It’s got me! What? {Spc. Dufraine begins violently fighting against the restraints; the alien rises slowly, still attached to the chair. At this point the automated defenses take effect and destroy everything in the room}
EI: Mark!! No!

Notes: It is believed that the alien was attempting to cooperate with us for reasons unknown. Perhaps it held the belief that we would expend enough energy in trying to reach Mars that we would weaken our efforts here on earth. The face and pyramids mentioned by Spc. Dufraine indicated an area of Mars known as Cydonia as the likely location of the alien base. Cydonia is an unusual area of Mars featuring five sided pyramids and a large formation resembling a human face. The features were shown to be natural formations by the Mars Global Surveyor, it now appears that the sudden loss of that item in 2004 was not the accident that it was assumed to be. We can only assume that the aliens were using some kind of cloaking technology to hide their base from our scans of the planet. Action on this information should be taken as soon as possible as it is likely that the other presence that took over Spc. Dufraine now knows the location of our bases.

Attached Files


- Anthraxus
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#5 mikker

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Posted 30 January 2004 - 01:59 PM

what if its a floater, muton or snakeman commander? ;)

Some people say that dreams are a portal to the subconscious. If that is so, I am a very disturbed person.

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#6 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 30 January 2004 - 02:16 PM

Hmm...That is a tough question!

LOL can't even spell tugh right!

Edit 2: Wait a minute...

Edited by Cpl. Facehugger, 30 January 2004 - 02:22 PM.

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#7 Micah

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Posted 30 January 2004 - 02:20 PM

IIRC, there are no such commanders, are there? Though I could be having a brain fart here, I think there are only sectoid and ethereal commanders...

#8 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 30 January 2004 - 02:23 PM

IIRC, there are no such commanders, are there? Though I could be having a brain fart here, I think there are only sectoid and ethereal commanders...

Nope, there are floater, and snakemen commanders (not sure about mutons though.) I know because the first commander I ever caught was a floater commander. :)
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#9 Micah

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Posted 30 January 2004 - 02:25 PM

IIRC, there are no such commanders, are there? Though I could be having a brain fart here, I think there are only sectoid and ethereal commanders...

Nope, there are floater, and snakemen commanders (not sure about mutons though.) I know because the first commander I ever caught was a floater commander. :)

Alright, well, I'm sure Anthraxus will work it out :D

#10 Deimos

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Posted 30 January 2004 - 02:34 PM

I thought from reading it it was a generic description of an alien commander, not race specific. I figured that the commanders of all races would have similar powers.

#11 Anthraxus

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Posted 30 January 2004 - 02:46 PM

Given that all commanders in the original game gave you the Cydonia or Bust research result, and all of them must have a higher psi potential than the average member of their race, any races commander is functionally exchangable with any other for the purposes of this CTD. Therefore I didn't use any race specific information at all.

If the interrogations are to function like the original game the only other one we need is the Leader for the Mars solution. All the other alien ranks just give you information that is covered in other CTDs.
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#12 Kamikazee

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Posted 30 January 2004 - 03:41 PM

you could say that the aliens are used to thinking and functioning as a group (as they are all controlled by the overmind) and the reason for the alien being so cooperative is because it is not being told not to listen to the interrogators. when the interrogators tell it to do something it must because they are orders and it lacks any will power to do otherwise.

#13 nixnihil

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 05:56 AM

Okay, I JUST noticed the other commander interrogation. But whatever, I like my writeup. Who knows, maybe we can combine our writings. We can use my exposition and use his transcript as fluff since mine doesn't have much in it for quotes. So I'll provide the body and he can provide the soul? Or perhaps not :S We'll see what the future holds.

So, I read the Alien research thing on the UFOpaedia (I assumed that's what you meant by interrogations) and stuck to a format similar to the original X-Com. So here we are, Cydonia or bust!

P.S.- I kinda like my alien fluff quote. It kind of sounds like he's been battered around a bit, yet still retaining his pride. The last few sentences have a kind of otherworldly wisdom to them (Inspired by Dak'khon from Plancecape: Torment)

your thoughts?

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Edited by nixnihil, 18 February 2004 - 06:00 AM.


#14 Breunor

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 08:29 AM

I haven't read the other text yet, but the impression I have here is that the alien is not 'defeated yet defiant' so much as 'if you stop beating me I'll tell you all our juicy secrets'. I think you could reword it while keeping all the main points, but get more of the 'your planet is slated for termination' feel.

Perhaps going for the slant of "your pathetic efforts are useless, humans. Soon the Master will launch a fianl assault and destroy you all, as I have failed in my mission. We were willing to simply harvest you, but your insolence will mean your total destruction now. Damage my body as you will, we have claimed the final victory. Soon [Cydonia] will be the center of life in this system.... did I just say [Cydonia] out loud? Oops..." ;) Our researchers have condisered the various locations on Mars with the commander's reference to [Cydonia], and telescope images confirm what appears to be alien activity in region X. If a total strike is being prepared, our only hope is to strike first and destroy this Master. If we fail, it is likely that Earth shall be destroyed, etc etc.

#15 kelfka

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 08:35 AM

"Upon the fourth planet from your light beacon lies our corroded capital of a society that once flourished before your kind had so much evolved limbs to drag yourselves through the mud. Within the halls of Cydonia you will find the fleet's Master-Brain. It is Master-Brain that directs our will as one. The death of Master-brain will surely scatter our will, and we shall drift the stars forever in disgrace and eternal nothingness."


Dose he respect us? :blink:

I dont know, maby he should say some thing like :<<Oure Master shall be triumphant and the hairy apes shall be slaves and nourishment to the chosen ones.>> followed by a gun shot

#16 Robo Dojo 58

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 09:23 AM

The commander was interrogated with the X-Corps most handy dandy tool: Entertainment! And duct tape.^_^

Hmm... This would be a good time to wake up the underwater aliens, now that the overmind sees a real threat to itself. The tachyon transmission could be picked up by X-Corps/some other people, and traced to Cydonia. The very concerned overmind would give itself away.

It also may work for an extended X-COM1+2 campaign, which would probably be V1+...
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#17 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 09:37 AM

TFTD elements are V1+ No doubt about that. But I imagine that it is one of the first things to be added. Well, that and an alien campaign.

I love your write up Anthraxus! But perhaps instead of automated turrets, have soldiers? You could get some intresting emotional involvement that way. Or maby I'm thinking too much.

Edited by Cpl. Facehugger, 18 February 2004 - 04:07 PM.

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#18 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 09:39 AM

You may want to read Anthraxus' commander interrogation, nixnihil.
I'm not sure that the alien would be that wise. I mean, they are pretty much servants to the brain, right? And make the references to the Brain more vague.

Edited by Cpl. Facehugger, 18 February 2004 - 04:08 PM.

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#19 mikker

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 09:56 AM

"You have no understanding of the planets in your solorsystem! You will never know the location of our base on mars! You will never locate the base beneath the face!" -Alien Commander

Some people say that dreams are a portal to the subconscious. If that is so, I am a very disturbed person.

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#20 mikker

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 10:00 AM

TFTD is v1.0+, but it would come somehow. The aliens doesn't start attack at the moment they wake up. Heck, it might even take years for the batteries in the base to fully charge up, though that might be a pityfull explanation. It would be the best - the aliens on mars finnish the cannon, and shoot it down as they see that they are about to be discovered. You focus more of "where it come from", rather then "directed towareds", so you discover the mars base, not the underwater one.

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#21 Breunor

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 10:38 AM

That text is very cool, nice work. Perhaps the subject who is controlled is a new recruit asked to serve in this way, and as part of the ruse the recruit is told beforehand that X-Corps is about to fall to the aliens or something like that. Then the alien commander can pick up those thoughts as it enters the recruit's mind, and it becomes very confident/arrogant during interrogation. And then, like most bad guys who have the upper hand, it gives up a little too much info before it realises the recruit doesn't really know anything else?

#22 Breunor

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 10:55 AM

I think that would require 2 aliens: "Don't tell them about the secret base boss! They don't know it's on Mars! Why are you looking at me that way? These dumb humans will never find the Cydonia outpost! What do you mean, you're under mind control??"

#23 Anthraxus

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 12:22 PM

Since this thread and the Commander Interrogation thread are on the same topic, could they be merged for easy reference?
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#24 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 01:04 PM

Ting! Microwave done.
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#25 Anthraxus

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 01:10 PM

Thanks Face. Here is the latest version of mine. See what you think. :alientalk:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ALIEN COMMANDER INTERROGATION REPORT

Summary: Alien captured during alien base raid, in drugged and bound conditions, attempts communication through [Xcorp] representative. Verification of alien purpose on earth and location of extra planetary alien home base accomplished.

Interrogator: [Spc. Mark Dufraine] and [Spc. Eileen Iwosaka]

Spc. Dufraine (MD): This is the interrogation of a captured and pacified commander. Due to the high priority and importance of this interrogation, I have been ordered to allow the alien to control my mind to speak for itself directly. I am bound, weaponless, to a chair and there are several automated systems that will destroy everything in the room should my behavior become erratic or dangerous. Questions will be issued by remote from the control room. I am prepared to begin.
{Spc. Dufraine closes his eyes and exhales deeply. He shudders and his head snaps up}
Spc. Iwosaka (EI): Specialist Dufraine, can you hear me?
MD: {There is an odd timbre in his voice} He is quiet.
EI: What is your name and rank?
MD: My name is of no consequence, but I am a commander for the forces of Earth.
EI: What is your purpose here?
MD: To control all life on this planet, or too destroy what we cannot control.
EI: Why Earth? What brought you here?
MD: Here is where we are to be. Since you are already here, you must join us or be removed.
EI: You have established bases on the planet, but where did you ships come from to establish those bases?
MD: You know this already. I can see it in my voice’s mind.
EI: Fine. Do you have multiple bases on Mars?
MD: We do not need multiple bases on the fourth planet.
EI: Then why do you setup multiples here?
MD: Your race reacts much more positively to a local presence than to one a significant distance away.
EI: Where on Mars is your base?
MD: You will die when you arrive. You cannot… I… {Both Spc. Dufraine and the alien begin shaking violently within the restraints. {Spc. Dufraine’s voice loses its odd quality} Eileen! Something’s wrong! Face… Pyramids… the pyramids are key… Something is fighting it. Big, powerful. It’s got me! What? {Spc. Dufraine begins violently fighting against the restraints; the alien rises slowly, still attached to the chair.}{A deep, languid voice echoes from both Spc. Dufraine and the alien simultaneously}Humans! Be warned. I have tolerated your interferance to this point, but I shall tolerate you no further. You have sealed your fate. {Both the alien and Dufraine begin fighting against their restraints again}
EI: Mark!! No! I…. I’m sorry. {Spc. Iwosaka activates the automated defenses.}

Notes: It is believed that the alien was attempting to cooperate with us for reasons unknown. Perhaps it held the belief that we would expend enough energy in trying to reach Mars that we would weaken our efforts here on earth. Within moments of the termination of the interrogation, multiple signals were detected eminating from Mars. The destination of these signals do not correspond with any known alien bases on earth, but the origin point of this signal and the face and pyramids mentioned by Spc. Dufraine indicated an area of Mars known as Cydonia as the likely location of the alien base. Cydonia is an unusual area of Mars featuring five sided pyramids and a large formation resembling a human face. The features were shown to be natural formations by the Mars Global Surveyor, it now appears that the sudden loss of that item in 2004 was not the accident that it was assumed to be. We can only assume that the aliens were using some kind of cloaking technology to hide their base from our scans of the planet. Action on this information should be taken as soon as possible as it is likely that the other presence that took over Spc. Dufraine now knows the location of our bases. We will need to use the most advanced craft, most damaging weapons, and most highly trained Xcorp operatives to destroy this source of the alien menace.

Attached Files


Edited by Anthraxus, 18 February 2004 - 01:12 PM.

- Anthraxus
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#26 Breunor

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 03:02 PM

That's sounding very good, I like the reference to the Global Surveyor. I will update the texts at home when I get the chance.

#27 nixnihil

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 03:10 PM

Okay, so here's the new writeup. I added some more arrogance from the alien, and also noted that he was heavily drugged so provide a more realistic sense of co-operation.

So, what do you guys think of putting Anthraxus' and my writings into one document? We could scrap my own quote all together and use Anthraxus' transcript. Or perhaps inject bits of my quote into his transcript.

What say?

Oh yeah, one thing I'm not clear on. For Xenocide is there going to be a whole separate "interrogations" section in the UFOpaedia for more flavor? If this is so, then we don't really need to merge our ideas, but we'll need to keep them consistent with eachother though.

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Edited by nixnihil, 18 February 2004 - 03:12 PM.


#28 Anthraxus

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 03:28 PM

I liked you summary better than mine nix, so I subbed it out. And I rewrote the last sentence thusly, "We will need to use the most advanced craft, most damaging weapons, and most highly trained Xcorp operatives to destroy this source of the alien menace, before it can muster all of its forces against us."

I think you qoute is far too open about everything. The commander has dealt with meat puppets (or been one) all his life. I don't think that the drugs would make him this blatant. My commander, while loosened up by the drugs, gave oblique references to things, but nothing really specific until the very end when it was fighting with the Overmind and Dufraine. Even then there is some question as to whether the commander gave that up or dufraine picked it up during the fight.

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#29 nixnihil

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 08:14 PM

I acknowledge your point. I found it hard to come up with something convincing. I like your layout. But as I said earlier, if there's a separate section for interrogations to add flavor to the game, then there's no need to merge. But if the interrogation is pretty much "Cydonia or bust" then we should merge. I'd be glad to forfeit my fluff quote in favour of your transcript.

#30 Anthraxus

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Posted 18 February 2004 - 10:30 PM

It was my understanding from earlier discussions on this that the only real interrogations are for the Commanders (Cydonia or Bust) and the Leaders (Mars Solution). We are trying to keep what you got for a given research topic similar to what was in the original. A complete line of interrogations would probably be V1+.
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#31 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 19 February 2004 - 09:09 AM

V1, granted. But more like V1.1
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#32 Anthraxus

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Posted 19 February 2004 - 09:31 AM

Well, whenever, it still isn't something that we need to worry about immediately. We should get the "standard" CTs done first. Then we can start worrying about V1.1 CTs.
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Fortune's Landing LARP - Another of my creations

#33 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 19 February 2004 - 09:44 AM

Aren't most of them done?
I'm only partially inactive. :P I can still be reached at cpl.facehugger@gmail.com, and via PM. Preferably the former.

*Coming back? Avast! Facehugger, finish your assignments!*

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#34 nixnihil

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Posted 19 February 2004 - 02:22 PM

Well, here is my final draft for Cydonia or Bust. Changes:

-Took out the alien quote. No fluff in this at all.
- A less blatant and more mysterious "brain" thingy
-yeah.


Alright, so unless anyone has other suggestions I'm gonna submit this to Breunor to see what he thinks. I guess we'll just do this independently then.

#35 Breunor

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Posted 19 February 2004 - 03:00 PM

Yeah, we can merge the writing, which it seems Anthraxus has done. Regarding interrogation texts, anything not found in the original (regarding specific entries) needs to stay in the laboratory forums at this point. I checked the list and all the entries were mislabeled, so I edited them to match what the original had. I'll check the forum and update who's doing what, then we'll know where we stand.

#36 coolp

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Posted 25 February 2004 - 10:02 PM

I love the Mars Global Surveyor reference, and the whole thing flows really well. Could we do this as an audio briefing instead of a text file? I'm not sure if we have some people who can do a good alien voice with us, but I think it would increase the impact of the whole thing.

#37 nixnihil

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Posted 26 February 2004 - 12:16 AM

final draft:

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#38 Breunor

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Posted 26 February 2004 - 08:18 AM

MagicAndy mentioned doing voiceovers for text to increase the impact, so check out that thread in the sound forum. We still need it in text format as well of course.

I think both texts here are good, my personal preference is leaning towards the interrogation transcript. I think having all the entries we get from live alien research in this format might be a nice touch. One of the things to consider is that we need to make Xenocide different enough from X-Com that people understand it's not a pure remake. We're starting with the same set of research items, but having a different format from the original might be a good thing. Having a transcript followed by a short paragraph summarizing the exchange (for those players who need the big clues) would be a nice difference IMO.

Edited by Breunor, 26 February 2004 - 08:19 AM.


#39 kafros

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Posted 23 August 2005 - 05:18 PM

THANATOS : PROJECT XENOCIDE
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Thanatos: Project Xenocide

From the information that the commander has divulged to us, it has become clear that we must halt the Alien attacks directly from the source: Mars. Using an underground base located in [Cydonia], a geographically unique portion of the red planet, the Aliens have created a staging point for their earthly incursions. Our leading officials have no doubts in their minds that humanity is fighting a losing battle and cannot possible win a drawn-out war unless a final, decisive victory at [Cydonia] is achieved.

The interrogated Alien also incoherently spoke of some sort of central command computer, a brain so to speak. Much of it was mostly nonsense induced by the neurotoxins, but some of that information may have some semblance of fact. Therefore, your objective is to gain entry into the Alien base, confirm the existence of the so called Overmind, and destroy it if it indeed exists.

Surface scans of Mars have confirmed many of the commander's statements, and a large amount of Alien activity has since been monitored from [Cydonia]. The presence of the Overmind cannot be ascertained by these means as it is, in theory, nestled deep within the Alien base and under heavy guard. Nonetheless, we must make this expedition or our planet will be overrun.

We will need an "Vengeance" Heavy Assault Craft loaded with the most experienced combat personnel and destructive arsenal that we can possibly muster. This will be the final battle. This is do or die. There is nothing more for us to do here but await the outcome of this desperate assault. Good luck, Commander. The fate of the Earth lies in your grasp.

#40 Moriarty

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Posted 24 August 2005 - 01:15 AM

just some random thoughts...

1) strange use of "commander" in this text, in the beginning as reference to the interrogated alien commander, later addressing the reader (the X-Com Commander)... we need to clear this up.

2)what are those neurotoxins mentioned? something the alien was given by x-com scientists, a truth serum of sorts?
I doubt, therefore I might be.

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#41 kafros

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Posted 24 August 2005 - 08:39 AM

1) strange use of "commander" in this text, in the beginning as reference to the interrogated alien commander, later addressing the reader (the X-Com Commander)... we need to clear this up.

Indeed, thy will shalt be done :master: :NyaNyaNya:

2)what are those neurotoxins mentioned? something the alien was given by x-com scientists, a truth serum of sorts?

I guess so. That way, the mind of the Alien Commander is more vulnerable to Psi control and Interrogation :)

The ideas above aren't mine of course. I just corrected some grammar/spelling errors, added the final names and the header etc.

#42 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 24 August 2005 - 09:04 AM

Comments...
1) Make "Alien Commander" instead of just "Commander", it reads funny as at first it sounds as if it was the X-Corps Commander. Also, the last bit, don't have it address the reader as if it was speaking to him, it can address X-Corps and say that the Earth's survival lies in their victory, something like that.
2) The Overmind is not a computer, anyway, I feel this deserves a bit more words, but keep it obscure, they still don't know what the Overmind is, they only know that it's directing the Alien Force and its nothign they have seen before.
3) There are no sattelites, how could they scan Mars? maybe indications showing the impact of the ship centuries ago, and were dismissed as simple normal craters? hmm...
4) We usually call "Alien Bases" the ones on Earth, I suggest "Alien Stronghold", as it's what I've been calling it on the Martian Solution and Alien Goal :)
5) It should only be "a Vengeance transport", the whole title reads odd, especially since its the research topic name :)
6) It says "aN Vengeance" whereas it should be "A Vengeance", that's a reminiscence of the Avenger reference :D
7) Cydonia's name is Thanatos.

#43 kafros

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Posted 24 August 2005 - 01:02 PM

THANATOS : PROJECT XENOCIDE
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Thanatos: Project Xenocide

From the information that the Alien Commander has divulged to us, it has become clear that we must halt the Alien attacks directly from the source: Mars. Using an underground Stronghold, the “Motherbase”, located in Thanatos, a geographically unique portion of the red planet, the Aliens have created a staging point for their earthly incursions. Our leading officials have no doubts in their minds that humanity is fighting a losing battle and cannot possible win a drawn-out war unless a final, decisive victory at Thanatos is achieved.

The interrogated Alien also incoherently spoke of some sort of central command computer, a brain so to speak. Much of it was mostly nonsense induced by the neurotoxins, but some of that information may have some semblance of fact. In-depth analysis of the most recent Mars’ surface scans has confirmed confirmed many of the commander's statements. Indeed, the whole installation looks like a normal crater and that’s why we couldn’t ever find proof of the Aliens’ existence.

By the Alien Commander’s sayings, we suspect the existence of a powerful creature which controls the whole Alien Invasion. The presence of the Overmind cannot be ascertained by Surface scans, as it seems to be nested deep within the Motherbase and under heavy guard, according to our information. Nonetheless, we must make this expedition or our planet will be overrun. Therefore, your objective is to gain entry into the Alien Motherbase, confirm the existence of the so called Overmind, and destroy it if it indeed exists.

We will need a XC-33 Vengeance loaded with the most experienced combat personnel and destructive arsenal that we can possibly muster. This will be the final battle. This is do or die. There is nothing more for us to do here but await the outcome of this desperate assault. The fate of the Earth lies in the hands of X-Corps.

#44 Moriarty

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Posted 24 August 2005 - 01:19 PM

THANATOS : PROJECT XENOCIDE
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Thanatos: Project Xenocide

From the information that the Alien Commander has divulged to us, it has become clear that we must halt the Alien attacks directly from the source: Mars. Using an underground Stronghold, the “Motherbase”, located in <deleted "Thanatos,"> a geographically unique portion of the red planet we have code-named Thanatos, the Aliens have created a staging point for their earthly incursions. Our leading officials have no doubts in their minds that humanity is fighting a losing battle and cannot possible win a drawn-out war unless a final, decisive victory at Thanatos is achieved.

<actually, we need to explain in what way the abovementioned region is "geographically unique". this also seemingly contradicts the part further down, where it says that "the whole installation looks like a normal crater"... I know that it does not really contradict, but it sounds weird when you read it>

The interrogated Alien also incoherently spoke of some sort of central command <deleted "computer">, a brain so to speak. Much of it was mostly nonsense induced by the neurotoxins, but some of that information may have some semblance of fact. In-depth analysis of the most recent Mars’ surface scans has confirmed confirmed many of the commander's statements. Indeed, the whole installation looks like a normal crater and that’s why we couldn’t ever find proof of the Aliens’ existence.

By the Alien Commander’s sayings, we suspect the existence of a powerful creature which controls the whole Alien Invasion. The presence of the Overmind cannot be ascertained by Surface scans, as it seems to be nested deep within the Motherbase and under heavy guard, according to our information. Nonetheless, we must make this expedition or our planet will be overrun. Therefore, your objective is to gain entry into the Alien Motherbase, confirm the existence of the so called Overmind, and destroy it if it indeed exists.

We will need an XC-33 Vengeance <with the added "XC-33" you need the "n" again :)> loaded with the most experienced combat personnel and destructive arsenal that we can possibly muster. This will be the final battle. This is do or die. There is nothing more for us to do here but await the outcome of this desperate assault. The fate of the Earth lies in the hands of X-Corps.


I doubt, therefore I might be.

Posted Image,the sneaky little bastard.

#45 Mad

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Posted 25 August 2005 - 05:11 AM

blue for comments, orange for additions, red for deletions

THANATOS : PROJECT XENOCIDE
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Thanatos: Project Xenocide

From the information that the Alien Commander has divulged to us, it has become clear that we must halt the Alien attacks directly from the source: Mars. Using an underground Stronghold, the “Motherbase”, located in a geographically unique portion sector? area? of the red planet we have code-named Thanatos, the Aliens have created a staging point for their earthly incursions. Our leading officials have no doubts in their minds < sounds strange, where else should they have doubts? ;) > that humanity is fighting a losing battle and cannot possible win a drawn-out war unless a final, decisive victory at Thanatos is achieved.

<actually, we need to explain in what way the abovementioned region is "geographically unique". this also seemingly contradicts the part further down, where it says that "the whole installation looks like a normal crater"... I know that it does not really contradict, but it sounds weird when you read it>

Maybe we could say "geographically unique, yet unobtrusive area[...]"


The interrogated Alien also incoherently spoke of some sort of central command, a brain so to speak. Much of it was mostly nonsense induced by the neurotoxins rather absurd as a side effect of the administered
neurotoxins, but yet some of that information may have some semblance of fact. In-depth analysis of the most recent Mars’ surface scans has confirmed confirmed many of the commander's statements. Indeed, the whole installation looks like a normal crater and that’s explaining why we couldn’t ever find proof of the Aliens’ existence.

Interpreting the Alien Commander’s sayings testimony, we suspect the existence of a powerful creature which controls the whole Alien Invasion. The presence of the Overmind cannot be ascertained by Surface scans, as it seems to be nested deep within the Motherbase and, according to our information,  under heavy guard. according to our information. Nonetheless, we must dare this expedition or our planet will be overrun. Therefore, your our objective is to gain entry into the Alien Motherbase, confirm the existence of the so called Overmind, and destroy it if it indeed exists.

We will need an XC-33 Vengeance <with the added "XC-33" you need the "n" again :)>Are you sure with that? 'cause I'm not. I think it's only with "a,e,i,o,u".loaded with the most experienced combat personnel and destructive arsenal that we can possibly muster. This will be the final battle. This is do or die. There is nothing more for us to do here but await the outcome of this desperate assault. The fate of the Earth lies in the hands of X-Corps.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

@Az:

3) There are no sattelites, how could they scan Mars?

If the Mothership impacted centuries ago, they can use maps which are made right now by "Mars observer, Mars Orbiter" and all their friends...
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#46 mikker

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Posted 25 August 2005 - 06:05 AM

"Are you sure with that? 'cause I'm not. I think it's only with "a,e,i,o,u"."

or ledders that sounds like the vocals. X-33 would be eks-thirtythree - that starts with an e. So yes, it's an.

Some people say that dreams are a portal to the subconscious. If that is so, I am a very disturbed person.

the truth about scientology

#47 Mad

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Posted 25 August 2005 - 06:29 AM

or ledders that sounds like the vocals. X-33 would be eks-thirtythree - that starts with an e. So yes, it's an.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh. Thanks, didn't knew that. :)
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#48 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 25 August 2005 - 12:39 PM

or ledders that sounds like the vocals. X-33 would be eks-thirtythree - that starts with an e. So yes, it's an.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh. Thanks, didn't knew that. :)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You're right, sorry :)

#49 Moriarty

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Posted 25 August 2005 - 03:28 PM

THANATOS : PROJECT XENOCIDE
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Thanatos: Project Xenocide

From the information that the Alien Commander has divulged to us, it has become clear that we must halt the Alien attacks directly from the source: Mars. Using an underground Stronghold, the “Motherbase”, located in an area of the red planet we have code-named Thanatos, the Aliens have created a staging point for their earthly incursions. Our leading officials have no doubts that humanity is fighting a losing battle and cannot possible win a drawn-out war unless a final, decisive victory at Thanatos is achieved.

The interrogated Alien also incoherently spoke of some sort of central command, a brain so to speak. Much of it was rather absurd as a side effect of the administered
neurotoxins, yet some of that information may have some semblance of fact. In-depth analysis of the most recent Mars’ surface scans has confirmed many of the commander's statements. Indeed, on the surface the whole installation looks like a normal crater, explaining why we couldn’t ever find proof of the Aliens’ existence.

Interpreting the Alien Commander’s testimony, we suspect the existence of a powerful creature which controls the whole Alien Invasion. The presence of the Overmind cannot be ascertained by Surface scans, as it seems to be nested deep within the Motherbase and, according to our information, under heavy guard. Nonetheless, we must dare this expedition or our planet will be overrun. Therefore, our objective is to gain entry into the Alien Motherbase, confirm the existence of the so called Overmind, and destroy it if it indeed exists.

We will need an XC-33 Vengeance to transport the most experienced combat personnel and destructive arsenal that we can possibly muster to Thanatos. This will be the final battle. This is do or die. There is nothing more for us to do here but await the outcome of this desperate assault. The fate of the Earth lies in the hands of X-Corps.


I doubt, therefore I might be.

Posted Image,the sneaky little bastard.

#50 Mad

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Posted 25 August 2005 - 03:41 PM

Perfect, at least in my eys! =b
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image