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XCOMUFO & Xenocide

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Guest Azrael Strife

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alien recreation:

 

"Well, that explains why one of the soldiers reported in a pink tree-headed dog in the ufo we were recovering, and asked for permission to open fire..."

 

laser rifle:

 

"They'll never take it from us... never... Right, my love? It's ours! My precious...."

~[Laser Rifle] field-tester, now relieved from duety.

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v97/mikker/classic.gif

Edited by mikker
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For Alien Recreation - "And Mom always said TV rotted my brain. What would she possibly think of this?" - Private Newton Minow, European Forces

 

(Background for those who don't get the joke: Newton Minow is the guy who, in the 1960s, gave the (in)famous Wasteland Speech (linked to the text), which decried the state of American TV as of 1961. At the time, he was chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, which (among other things) regulated the TV networks in the US. He also helped found PBS, America's public TV broadcaster, which is famous for such things as "Sesame Street".

 

Now, the TV rotting your brain quip...who's mom hasn't said that to them at least once? :) )

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Now, the TV rotting your brain quip...who's mom hasn't said that to them at least once? :) )

 

Mine :P

 

She enjoys TV as much as i do-

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That's classic, mikker! LOL

 

And the best thing is that it can be used for almost any text! So if there's a decent laser rifle fluff, "your preciousssss" can be saved for another fluff. :P

 

Alien Recreation:

"And I thought my disco ball was psychadelic! I can't wait to dance to these puppies!"

- Chandra Volta, X-Corps marine and disco enthusiast

Edited by Astyanax
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"Our normal granades just goes boom. The alien granade goes boom... with style!"

 

:Brickwall:

 

(maybe we could use the precious fluff for the fusion launcher? THATS something to go crazy from :P)

Edited by mikker
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Guest Azrael
Ok then, Mikker's fluff for Laser Rifle is better for blaster launcher, that's a good one :), any more suggestions for Laser Rifle or should I take mine?
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any more suggestions for Laser Rifle or should I take mine?

 

"Laser rifles are so precise that you could use them for eye surgery. Well, except the fact that the beam would go through the eye, the head, and half of the back wall..."

- Dr. Gabrielle Fitzpatrick, Head of Laser Weapons Development

 

I'd rather use this, IMO it's funnier :)

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Guest Azrael
any more suggestions for Laser Rifle or should I take mine?

 

"Laser rifles are so precise that you could use them for eye surgery. Well, except the fact that the beam would go through the eye, the head, and half of the back wall..."

- Dr. Gabrielle Fitzpatrick, Head of Laser Weapons Development

 

I'd rather use this, IMO it's funnier :)

Oops, sorry, forgot about that one, I meant "no more suggestions or should I pick among these?"

Ok, that goes in :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

psi facility:

 

"Back when the first one was build, [x] came in and wanted to be psi trained. I don't know exactly how, but he got addicted to it, and we wern't able to save his sanity. He now lives in the closset, so when other soldiers start to get addicted, we pull him out, and suddenly, they don't want to train anymore." ~ [y]

 

:Brickwall:

Edited by mikker
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Alien Recreation

"Ooooo, look at the pretty lights!" - Unknown Rookie

 

 

Alien Grenade

"Whatever you do, -don't- juggle, eat, consume, devour, ingest, inhale, drop, throw, ignite, burn these things. Ok, so if you've primed it you can throw it. But they're volatile, so, eh, try not to drop one. We only had one accident. The lab had to be cleaned for a WEEK before it could be used again - it was like there was a new coat o' red paint. With pink lumps." - X-Corps Explosives Instructor

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  • 2 weeks later...

Alien Recreation

 

"Ugh, they call THAT recreation?"

 

"I don't care how shiny it is, don't touch it!"

 

 

Alien Grenade

 

"Uh, why do I get the feeling I need webbed fingers to operate this?"

 

 

Laser Rifle

 

"Note to recruits. These are not the laser pointers you are used to"

 

"Beware of mirrors"

 

 

I also liked Mikker's original fluff for the plasma clip

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Hi Historian! Nice to meet ya! :)

 

Adding to Historian's fresh fodder for the fluff machine...

 

(an attempt at a more serious fluff)

"Dammit!  What good are we supposed to be doing?!  We sent those boys in with our latest laser prototypes, and what do we have?!  Ten more names on our MIA list, ten more honest fellas at the mercy of those damned Aliens!  ...After all our work, our best tech... it's still not enough!  What's wrong with our design?  Why wasn't it enough?"

"It was the best we had, Brand... it was all we could've done..."

*sigh* "...yeah..."

"...c'mon, dear, it's late.  We should get some sleep."

"You're right, hon... maybe things will look better in the morning."

"Of course they will, of course they will.  We've got a lot of work ahead of us..."

 

- a late night conversation between Drs. Brandon and Megan McKenna, leading experts in laser weapons design

Hm... maybe it'd be better for the laser pistol?

Edited by Astyanax
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how about a version of the mirrors?

 

'How many times have I told them. You do NOT go in the crazy mirror house with a laser pistol. Goddammit. How many more must we lose to rapid fire....'

 

Lead researcher X

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How many more must we lose to rapid fire....

That means that by the time you've researched that, some soldiers are dead without your learning that? :NoNo:

 

Better change it to " they must be careful , or else we are gonna some a guy someday".

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  • 11 months later...

Aaaaand welcome back to "Fluff the unfluffed" the show where everybody gets to laugh!

Today we have a very difficult candidate! Candidates! Prepare to fluff!

Todays CT without a fluff is "Gravity Distortion Launcher/Drone"! Aaand go!

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Aaaaand welcome back to "Fluff the unfluffed" the show where everybody gets to laugh!

Today we have a very difficult candidate! Candidates! Prepare to fluff!

Todays CT without a fluff is "Gravity Distortion Launcher/Drone"! Aaand go!

"The programming department have assured me that they've solved the bug in the Mark 1 drone's navigation system that caused it to return to it's launch point and explode when attempting a 90 degree turn. However, they still refuse to come here and demonstrate the fix." Capt. H Pierce, weapons testing.

 

Edit. spelling

Edited by dteviot
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"The programming department have assured me that they've solved the bug in the Mark 1 drone's navigation system that caused it to return to it's launch point and explode when attempting a 90 degree turn.  However, they still refuse to come here and demonstrate the fix."  Capt. H Pierce, weapons testing.

 

Edit. spelling

:D Not bad, let me rephrase it a litlle... What do you think of:

Well, our avionics guy assured me he fixed that drone returnig to launchpoint thing, too bad he catched the flue now that we're gonna test it...

- Capt. H Pierce, weapons testing

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I feel it sounds better as phrased by dteviot, though I wouldn't use "programming dept".

I felt it was a little to long. You know, I'm a friend of short pregnant sentences... :)

So, what does the rest of you guys think?

And I want more fluffs! Don't be shy! We cannot loose this battle against PRG department! ;)

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I feel it sounds better as phrased by dteviot, though I wouldn't use "programming dept".

I felt it was a little to long. You know, I'm a friend of short pregnant sentences... :)

So, what does the rest of you guys think?

And I want more fluffs! Don't be shy! We cannot loose this battle against PRG department! ;)

Actually, it was meant to be an in-joke. The "Mark One Drone" is the Blaster Bomb launcher (which I believe is the equivelent of the Gravity Distortion Launcher/Drone.)

The bug is the well known problem with programming a BB with a route with 90 degree turns, and the programing department is the Xenocide programming department.

 

How about:

"Rincewind assures me that he's solved the bug in the Mark 1 drone's navigation system that caused it to return to its launch point and explode when attempting a 90 degree turn.  However, he still refuses to test the fix in person."  Capt. R Knight, weapons testing.

 

Edit: redid quote

Edited by dteviot
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  • 1 year later...

Don't know why, but my silly brain came up with a silly fluff text for the Xenium CT...

 

"Okay, let me get this straight. The aliens have a working knowledge of what you call 'Silly String Theorem' that allows them to tie the Superstring Theory into knots. These superstring knots then take the form of Xenium. And then when the aliens unravel the knot, they get energy?"

- Random rookie researcher

Edited by tzuchan
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  • 4 months later...
Xenium-122

 

"This stuff is rare, I can't put into context how rare this is, heck the stuff we have degrades and we can't stop it. So if I catch one more person using it as a PAPER weight, i'm gonna start live fire testing of my new prototype plasma cannon!"

- Memo from Dr. Zarkov Head of Energy Based Research

Vengeance

 

Interceptor Pilot "So what's it like?"

Test Pilot "You know when you first saw the Starfire you got that feeling like when you see a hot college girl, but you feel abit wrong cos she's 19 and your 35."

Interceptor Pilot "Ha! yeah, college girls..."

Test Pilot "Well the Vengeance is like finding out Starfire has an older sister."

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