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#51 Kikanaide

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Posted 12 June 2006 - 07:34 AM

Very nice Kika. Sry for "tearing" it apart... a bit :P. What do you think?

-Well, thanks for the compliment and thanks for the "tearing." I like the new first paragraph, and the rest are now addressed...I think. Let me know if I'm wrong.

STUN LAUNCHER
X-Net://Pegasus.Net/Weapons/Alien Weapons/Stun Launcher
[color
The Stun Launcher is a new technology that fulfils both human and alien objectives alike. It provides our soldiers an alternative method of capturing living Aliens at range, effectively eliminating the melee requirements of the Stun Baton. Additionally, due to its wide area-of-effect, it can be used to incapacitate a group of Aliens. The effect is greater the closer the organism is to the site of impact. Due to dissimilar environmental conditions and individual physiologies, different organisms of even the same species may be affected in a different manner if attacked with a Stun Bomb.

Inside the Stun Launcher are various components to house the Stun Bomb, designed to prevent accidental discharge. One such component is the chamber itself, which is housed in a gelatinous substance that acts to dampen vibration. We have not been able to reproduce this substance, but we found out that it is structurally very similar to ballistics gel. As such, it can easily be replicated without any side effects.

The Stun Launcher is reloaded through a flap on the top of the weapon.  Judging by its shape, it appears as though a protective shell or coating is automatically removed from the loaded bomb.  Apparently, once this protective layer is removed, the projectile becomes volatile. The interior of the weapon shows a marked contrast between pre- and post-removal. All protective measures (vibration dampening, carefully polished tubing, etc.) begin at the point the casing is removed.

The actual firing mechanism appears to be gravitational. Unlike Terran weaponry, no propellant of any type is used. The result of this firing scheme is an incredibly smooth acceleration with minimal impulse applied to the projectile. In addition, since the force is applied, effectively, from inside the projectile itself, firing will not trigger the Stun Bomb to release its contents.  The launch produces no muzzle flash or other visible sign. Apparently, the substance known as Xenium is critical to the procedure. Initial tests have confirmed that if a faux projectile that does not contain Xenium is loaded into the weapon, the weapon will not fire.

As the Stun Launcher has no magazine, X-Corps operatives should take care to avoid situations where more than one or two shots are required.  Reloading, while not prohibitively cumbersome or lengthy, is best done outside of the heat of battle.

“It was an accidental stun bomb discharge’ has become one of the most common explanations from the scientists I've caught sleeping on the job. In the beginning, I believed them, but when I hear them snore from outside the room, I get my doubts...
~ Joan De Melan, X-Corps inner-relations.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


Kikanaide - "What does it mean? Don't ask."

#52 Zombie

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Posted 14 June 2006 - 10:57 PM

A little more "tearing" if you will. Color scheme: red=deletions, blue=additions, purple=rewrite, green=comment.

STUN LAUNCHER
X-Net://Pegasus.Net/Weapons/Alien Weapons/Stun Launcher
[color
The Stun Launcher is a new technology that fulfils both human and alien objectives alike. It provides our soldiers an alternative method of capturing [color="purple"]live[/color] Aliens at range, effectively eliminating the melee requirements of the Stun Baton. Additionally, due to its wide area-of-effect, it can be used to incapacitate a group of [color="red"]Aliens[/color] [color="blue"]enemies[/color]. The effect is greater the closer the organism is to the site of impact. Due to [color="red"]dissimilar[/color] environmental conditions and individual physiologies, [color="red"]different[/color] organisms of even the same species may be affected in a different manner if attacked with a Stun Bomb.

Inside the Stun Launcher are various components to house the Stun Bomb, designed to prevent accidental discharge. One such component is the chamber itself, which is housed in a gelatinous substance that acts to dampen vibration. We have not been able to reproduce this substance, but we found out that it is structurally very similar to ballistics gel. As such, it can easily be replicated without any side effects.

The Stun Launcher is reloaded through a [color="red"]flap[/color] [color="blue"]cover[/color] on the top of the [color="red"]weapon[/color] [color="blue"]barrel[/color].  [color="purple"]Judging by how the weapon is built, it appears as though a sharp apparatus cuts away the protective shell as the ammunition is loaded and automatically ejects the remnants.[/color]  Apparently, once this coating is [color="red"]removed[/color] [color="blue"]detached[/color], the projectile becomes volatile. The interior of the weapon shows a marked contrast between pre- and post-removal. [color="green"](I’d like to see this sentence rewritten).[/color] All protective measures (vibration dampening, carefully polished tubing, etc.) begin at the point the casing is [color="red"]removed[/color] [color="blue"]eliminated[/color].

The actual firing mechanism appears to be gravitational. Unlike Terran weaponry, no propellant of any type is used. The result of this [color="red"]firing scheme[/color] [color="blue"]design[/color] is an incredibly smooth acceleration with minimal impulse applied to the projectile. In addition, since the force is applied[color="red"], effectively,[/color] from [color="red"]inside[/color] [color="blue"]within[/color] the projectile itself, firing will not trigger the Stun Bomb to release its contents.  The launch produces no muzzle flash or other visible [color="red"]sign[/color] [color="blue"]evidence that the weapon was used[/color]. Apparently, [color="red"]the[/color] [color="blue"]a[/color] substance known as Xenium is critical to the procedure. [color="purple"]Initial tests have revealed that a faux projectile without Xenium will prevent the weapon from firing.[/color]

As the Stun Launcher has no magazine, X-Corps operatives should take care to avoid situations where more than one or two shots are required.  Reloading, while not prohibitively cumbersome or lengthy, is best done outside of the heat of battle.

“It was an accidental stun bomb discharge’ has become one of the most common explanations from the scientists I've caught sleeping on the job. In the beginning, I believed them, but when I hear them snore from outside the room, I get my doubts...
~ Joan De Melan, X-Corps inner-relations.

I guess that's all I have at the moment. Feel free to tear this apart too. :wink1:

- Zombie

Edited by Zombie, 14 June 2006 - 11:15 PM.

The Mr. Grognard of X-COM

Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.
A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.
A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.
They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,
of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!


#53 Kikanaide

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Posted 21 June 2006 - 07:51 PM

STUN LAUNCHER
X-Net://Pegasus.Net/Weapons/Alien Weapons/Stun Launcher

The Stun Launcher is a new technology that fulfils both human and alien objectives alike. It provides our soldiers an alternative method of capturing Aliens at range, effectively eliminating the melee requirements of the Stun Baton. Additionally, due to its wide area-of-effect, it can be used to incapacitate a group of creatures. The effect is greater the closer the organism is to the site of impact. Due to environmental conditions and individual physiologies, organisms of even the same species may be affected in a different manner if attacked with a Stun Bomb.

Inside the Stun Launcher are various components to house the Stun Bomb, designed to prevent accidental discharge. One such component is the chamber itself, which is housed in a gelatinous substance that acts to dampen vibration. We have not been able to reproduce this substance, but we found out that it is structurally very similar to ballistics gel. As such, it can easily be replicated without any side effects.

The Stun Launcher is reloaded through a port on the top of the barrel.  Inside the weapon is a sharp apparatus apparently designed to remove a protective shell as the ammunition is loaded and automatically eject the remnants. Judging from the marked contrast between the weapon's construction before the apparatus and after, once this coating is detached the projectile becomes volatile. All protective measures (vibration dampening, carefully polished tubing, etc.) begin at the point the casing is removed.

The actual firing mechanism appears to be gravitational. Unlike Terran weaponry, no propellant of any type is used. The result of this design is an incredibly smooth acceleration with minimal impulse applied to the projectile. In addition, since the force is applied throughout the projectile rather than to its exterior, firing will not trigger the Stun Bomb to release its contents.  The launch produces no muzzle flash or other visible evidence that the weapon was used. Apparently, the substance known as Xenium is critical to the procedure. A faux projectile without Xenium will not launch.

As the Stun Launcher has no magazine, X-Corps operatives should take care to avoid situations where more than one or two shots are required.  Reloading, while not prohibitively cumbersome or lengthy, is best done outside of the heat of battle.

“It was an accidental stun bomb discharge’ has become one of the most common explanations from the scientists I've caught sleeping on the job. In the beginning, I believed them, but when I hear them snore from outside the room, I get my doubts...
~ Joan De Melan, X-Corps inner-relations.

I think that incorporated most of it. Good suggestions, definitely. Let me know what you think.

Edited by Kikanaide, 21 June 2006 - 07:51 PM.

Kikanaide - "What does it mean? Don't ask."

#54 Zombie

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Posted 22 June 2006 - 09:15 AM

Nice job, Kikanaide. It reads pretty good right now! I'll take a look at it tonight to see if anything needs to be reworded. :)

- Zombie
The Mr. Grognard of X-COM

Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.
A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.
A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.
They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,
of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!


#55 Mad

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Posted 24 June 2006 - 02:35 AM

good draft =b I like the explanation of the xenium very much. but where is it stored? maybe it's in the outer hull and loaded into the weapon upon cutting open of the outer protective shell?

STUN LAUNCHER
X-Net://Pegasus.Net/Weapons/Alien Weapons/Stun Launcher

The Stun Launcher is a new technology that fulfils both human and alien objectives alike. It provides our soldiers an alternative method of capturing Aliens at range, effectively eliminating the melee requirements of the Stun Baton. Additionally, due to its wide area-of-effect, it can be used to incapacitate a group of creatures. The effect is greater the closer the organism is to the site of impact. Due to environmental conditions and individual physiologies, organisms of even the same species may be affected in a different manner if attacked with a Stun Bomb.

You introduce the § with "both human and alien objectives" but mention only the benefits for humans. It's clear what the benefits for the aliens are, but maybe you could reword it or add the alien objectives as well


Inside the Stun Launcher are various components to house the Stun Bomb, designed to prevent accidental discharge. One such component is the chamber itself, which is housed in a gelatinous substance that acts to dampen vibration. We have not been able to reproduce this substance, but we found out that it is structurally very similar to ballistics gel. As such, it can easily be replicated without any side effects.

You'll have to list every component if you speak of various components.

The Stun Launcher is reloaded through a port on the top of the barrel.  Inside the weapon is a sharp apparatus apparently designed to remove a protective shell as the ammunition is loaded and automatically eject the remnants. Judging from the marked contrast between the weapon's construction before the apparatus and after, once this coating is detached the projectile becomes volatile. I don't understand this sentence All protective measures (vibration dampening, carefully polished tubing, etc.) begin at the point the casing is removed.
Maybe try a rephrasing. I see what you want to say, but it's not absolutely clear you're speaking about the weapon here.

The actual firing mechanism appears to be gravitational. Unlike Terran weaponry, no propellant of any type is used. The result of this design is an incredibly smooth acceleration with minimal impulse applied to the projectile. In addition, since the force is applied throughout the projectile rather than to its exterior, firing will not trigger the Stun Bomb to release its contents.  The launch produces no muzzle flash or other visible evidence that the weapon was used. Apparently, the substance known as Xenium is critical to the procedure. A faux projectile without Xenium will not launch.

As the Stun Launcher has no magazine, X-Corps operatives should take care to avoid situations where more than one or two shots are required.  Reloading, while not prohibitively cumbersome or lengthy, is best done outside of the heat of battle.

“It was an accidental stun bomb discharge’ has become one of the most common explanations from the scientists I've caught sleeping on the job. In the beginning, I believed them, but when I hear them snore from outside the room, I get my doubts...
~ Joan De Melan, X-Corps inner-relations.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


Edited by Mad, 24 June 2006 - 02:36 AM.

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Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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