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CTD - Anti-Grav Powersuit


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#1 tzuchan

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Posted 13 October 2003 - 10:48 PM

Had a brainwave and some limited net time, so decided to post a flying suit concept.

Not able to make draft changes, so am handing it over to anyone to continue work on it. (Personally, I'd prefer Cpt. Boxershorts or Fred the Goat)

[Edit]
Updated CTD version so ppl don't have to scroll all the way down to get it.

[Edit]
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you Version 5!!

[Edit] Version 6, reflecting changes in Xenium-122

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Edited by tzuchan, 19 November 2003 - 10:55 PM.

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#2 Deimos

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Posted 14 October 2003 - 10:09 AM

Pretty good stuff. Might be a good idea for whoever picks this one up to check out the personal armour thread for some inspiration. Both the power armour and Flight suit were designed with the shape as plasma resistant so that the hit is deflected or is spread over a larger area to minimise the damage the wearer suffers.

Also the flight suit has control surfaces on the shoulders and calf area to control the movement in the air.

Any Q's that you either don't understand or want to know more about the visual design, give me a shout. As I designed the concept, I know a bit about what actually went into it. :)

#3 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 14 October 2003 - 12:57 PM

It might be nice to have the powersuit done before we start working on the flight armor.

That being said, I really like your concept. Especially the part about where the user encounters an primitive intelligence. :)
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#4 tzuchan

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Posted 24 October 2003 - 05:05 AM

Hmm...
Nobody seems interested in picking it up...
Had some more net time, and a few more ideas...
Rephrased some sentences and rearranged a couple of paragraphs. Couldn't find a way to puting control surfaces without making it seem to wierd or contrived without making severe changes to the whole concept, so I used vector control rockets instead. Give it a read-through and tell me what you guys think.

*edit* Old version of CT removed

Edited by tzuchan, 24 December 2004 - 04:38 PM.

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#5 Breunor

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Posted 24 October 2003 - 08:56 AM

Very interesting write up! Could you say that the magnetic fields generated are enough to actually allow movement without rockets, but at a certain height there just isn't enough elerium to power a strong enough field? They wanted the suits to run on a fixed amount of elerium rather than having to refuel them, so they figured a good tradeoff was the limited elevation they could obtain? Just a thought, the jet thrusters work as well, but we'd want to make a little animation during movement then right? The elerium only option wouldn't require that.

#6 tzuchan

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Posted 09 November 2003 - 01:31 AM

Hmm... Meddled abit with the CTD...
Tried to incoparate Breunor 's idea into the Flying suit CTD. Read through and gimme more comments...

Else I'll pass this to GreatGold and claim that it's finished....

*Edit* Old version of CT removed

Edited by tzuchan, 24 December 2004 - 04:39 PM.

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#7 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 09 November 2003 - 08:12 AM

Uhh, GG hasn't been here for quite some time, you pass it to bruenor! :P
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#8 Ancalagon

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Posted 09 November 2003 - 03:25 PM

Hmm... Meddled abit with the CTD...
Tried to incoparate Breunor 's idea into the Flying suit CTD. Read through and gimme more comments...

Else I'll pass this to GreatGold and claim that it's finished....

Well, you asked for it, here are all my problems with the piece, in chronological order.

". . .given our agents in the field armour protection. . ." They didn't have any armor before? Add "additional" or "more" or another synonym to the sentance and it should be fine.

"This has increased the survival rates, especially among the new recruits by an appreciable margin." This would flow better if it read: "This has
increased the survival rates by an appreciable margin, especially among the new recruits."

". . . above the battlefield, providing them with better situation awareness as well as better fields of fire." This sentance is a little bit run-on. I would change this segmant to: "above the battlefield. This provides them with better situation awareness as well as better fields of fire."

"However, with recent developements in our research into the bio-organic components present the alien alloys and UFO power sources, combined with research from the UFO navigation systems, our scientists and engineers have developed the ultimate in personal armour systems, the flying suit." "present the alien alloys needs to be changed to "present in the alien alloys". It also might read better if "combined with" was changed to "along with". The sentance will still a bit bulky and confusing, but I don't think there's any way to fix that.

"Further studies have revealed that although the bio-organic components of the alien alloys as well as the UFO power source lack a central nervous system and does not have any obvious signs of intelligence, primitive or otherwise, it shows a remarkable amount of muscular response to the amplified brain waves that the UFO navigation systems produce." There are way to many problems in this sentance for me to state them individualy. Here is a fixed sentance, which I will explain if you wish: "Further studies have revealed that although the bio-organic components of the alien alloys as well as the UFO power source lack a central nervous system and do not show any obvious signs of intelligence, primitive or otherwise, they show a remarkable amount of muscular response to the amplified brain waves that the UFO navigation system produces."

". . .materials are capable of lifting up to a hundred times its own weight." "Its" should be changed to "their" since "materials" is plural.

The next paragraph is perfect as far as I can tell. :D

The next paragraph is perfect except for the fact that the elerium 115 ctd is undergoing MASSIVE revisions. The whole gravity wave thing may be out of the question soon. The renovations wont affect plasma weaponsbut they do effect ufo power source and anything involving it so keep on your toes. Speaking of which, denivive hasn't released any new drafts yet. . .

"Using this properties should be changed to "using these properties"

The next paragraph is ok, although I don't like the idea of sentient flying suits.

I really don't like the fluff text. The whole idea of human technology being evil doesn't sit well with me. This is just an opinion, but without the fluff text, I would have assumed that the problem was limited to x-corps soldiers feeling like someone was constantly watching them or something. Personally I would change the text completley, downplay the idea by saying the soldier was crazy, or have the soldier say something less extreme. Also, you really shouldn't mention the name of the soldier since some idiot may look up the soldier's name and realize he doesn't exist. BTW, If they haven't actually built a flying suit then how does he say his quote? Also, "xenocide" should be changed to "x-corps" which AFIAK is the official name for the organization.

EDIT: BTW, is our official spelling of "armor" going to be "armor" or "armour"?

Edited by Ancalagon, 09 November 2003 - 03:29 PM.


#9 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 09 November 2003 - 09:47 PM

Ok, here is some fluff text for you

"I swear, that thing is out to get me. I heard what it was saying, it wants us-all of us ARGHH! Im not crazy! You! You don't think i'm crazy, right?" -Cpl. Grunt, currently in isolation due to acute paranoia.
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#10 tzuchan

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Posted 14 November 2003 - 07:49 AM

/me looks at Ancalagon's post :crying:

Looks like I asked for that...
Anyway, great that somebody helped me catch all the typos...

Okay... Implemented all of Ancalagon's changes...

Hmm... Elerium CTD change... Gotta wait for that to come out first before I can do anything about that...
I'll keep track of the elerium CTD.

Actually I didn't mean for the suits to really be sentient or evil...

The sentient part is to impart a feel that we don't really know what we are dealing with, with the fluff text
to add more to the feeling of creepiness...

Anyway, changed the fluff text some, give it a read through and tell me what you think.

[Fluff text for those too lazy to scroll through the whole CTD]

"I tell you, those things move on thier own! Mine was planning on eating me and I knew
because of the freaky mental control systems those scientist cooked up. I had to kill it
before it found out I knew it's plans!"

"The patient exhibits signs of severe paranoia as well as psychosis. It is uncertain as to
whether is the mental control system the cause of the patient's mental disorders. The
patient is deemed mentally unfit for duty until further notice."
-Excerpt from psychiatric report of flying suit test pilot

*edit* Old version of CT removed

Edited by tzuchan, 24 December 2004 - 04:40 PM.

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#11 Ancalagon

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Posted 14 November 2003 - 11:34 PM

Sorry if I hurt your feelings.

With the text about the guy having problems with paranoia, the ctd imparts more of a sense of "we don't know what we're dealing with" :huh?: rather than a sense of "these things are evil, don't use them". :fang: Although you should also say something along the lines of "This is not a normal occurence and most soldiers haven't even mentioned any sentient intellegence within the suit; however, a large enough percentage has commented on this sentience to make it worth further investigation . . . after the war." Of course, I think I spelled intellegence wrong etc. but you get the idea, right?

Also, since you're in charge of the blaster bomb ctd. you should probably make sure this one matches the other one as far as how anti-grav works.

#12 tzuchan

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Posted 14 November 2003 - 11:56 PM

Don't worry about it. As it was, I was getting abit fustrated at the lack of comments. Without those, there's only so far I can go into improving the CTD.

Anyway, worked your comment into the CTD itself. here's there paragraph in question:

Initial feedback from the prototype tests are encouraging, although some of our test pilots
claim that they encounter a primitive intelligence in the flying suit and through the
mental control system, form a sort of gesalt mind. Despite the fact that this is not a common
occurence, there is a high enough a percentage of reports to recommend that this factor be looked
into. So far, tests regarding this phenomanon are still inconclusive and further research has been
put on hold due to projects with higher priority.


Incase you're wondering where it is in the CTD, it's right before the fluff text.

Regarding how Anti-grav works, I'll have to wait for the changes to the elerium-115/xenium-122 to be completed as well as the new UFO power source...

Until then, I'd have to err on the side of caution that I'll have to do some serious changes on the flying suit... (Although I'd like to keep the bio-organic part in...)

My original idea for the blaster bomb was for it to be a bio-organic gravity generator with hugh amounts of elerium-115 in the center. the whole thing would then be covered with alien alloy to protect it.

[Edit]
Grumps... I keep on forgetting the attachments...

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Edited by tzuchan, 14 November 2003 - 11:57 PM.

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#13 Breunor

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Posted 16 November 2003 - 01:24 AM

He he, I'll offer a corrective suggestion in the other direction from a previous post here. At the end of the third paragraph, it says "properly
cultured bio-organic materials are capable of lifting up to a hundred times their own weight". Their is only 1 alien alloy, so shouldn't it be just a single material? Yes, it's a combination of several base materials, but the final material can lift 100 times its own weight. Just a thought, the current version works just as well. I guess I'm the devil's advocate on that one.

Regarding the primitive mind encountered, what about taking it along these lines: The mental control system seems to unlock a primitive aspect of some soldiers psyche. Under the stress of combat this had led to a small percentage of soldiers developing paranoias related to "being watched" by unknown entities. While some researchers believe these soldiers have just been pushed too far, others think this might be a collective mind behavior exhibited by some of the alien races we've encountered. This will warrant further research once the immediate alien threat is subdued.

#14 tzuchan

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Posted 19 November 2003 - 10:57 PM

Rush rush rush, only plasma weapons and power suit CTD left to update now...
Flying suit v6,
Again, comments please

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#15 tzuchan

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Posted 03 December 2003 - 02:58 AM

Okay, not much change in this draft, but changed to new name...

Anybody like "Hummingbird"? Suggestions please.

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#16 tzuchan

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Posted 03 December 2003 - 04:58 AM

For people who don't like RTF:

Flying Suit CTD concept:

With the development of the HAH MK-IV Praetorian, we have given our agents in the field better armor protection as well as strength comparable to that of the alien invaders. This has increased the survival rates by an appreciable margin, especially among the new recruits. Unfortunately, the aliens still maintain a strategic advantage over our personnel in that several species have the ability to maneuver through the skies above the battlefield. This provides them with better situation awareness as well as better fields of fire.

However, using recent developments in our research in the bio-organic components present in the alien alloys, as well as research from the UFO navigation systems, our scientists and engineers have developed the ultimate in personal armor systems, the Aerial Superiority Hardsuit Mark 5, ASH MK-V HummingBird

Further studies have revealed that although the bio-organic components of the alien alloys lack a central nervous system and do not show any obvious signs of intelligence, primitive or otherwise, they show a remarkable amount of muscular response to the amplified brain waves that the UFO navigation system produces. The bio-organic materials are capable of exerting an impressive amount of force. Controlled tests have showed that properly cultured bio-organic materials are capable of lifting up to a hundred times their own weight.

Also, despite the lack of central nervous systems, the bio-organic materials show an incredible response time to stimulus from the UFO navigation system. Under laboratory conditions, the bio-organic material showed a response time of less than 1/1000th of a second to stimulus from the UFO navigation systems.

Our research into the UFO power sources have shown us how the aliens create the gravity waves and research into the UFO Navigation system revealed the methods behind controlling the gravity waves. Unfortunately, in order to generate enough gravity waves to guide the suit and its wearer would consume Xenium-122 at an unreasonable rate of 0.5 g per minute of operation. However, by adding vector control rockets controlled by a smaller and simpler design of the UFO Navigation system to the calf and shoulder areas of the flying suit, the suit would then only have to nullify the effects of gravity in order to give our agents the ability to maneuver through the air. As such, the Xenium-122 consumption is cut down to 0.001 g per minute.

Using this properties, we have developed a Aerial Superiority Hardsuit that not only provides strength comparable to that of the HAH MK-IV Praetorian, but also the ability to travel through the skies, negating the alien advantage in that area.

Initial feedback from the prototype tests are encouraging, although some of our test pilots claim that they encounter a primitive intelligence in the flying suit and through the mental control system, form a sort of gestalt mind. Despite the fact that this is not a common occurrence, there is a high enough a percentage of reports to recommend that this factor be looked into. So far, tests regarding this phenomenon are still inconclusive and further research has been put on hold due to projects with higher priority.

"I tell you, those things move on their own! Mine was planning on eating me and I knew because of the freaky mental control systems those scientists cooked up. I had to kill it before it found out I knew its plans!"

"The patient exhibits signs of severe paranoia as well as psychosis. It is uncertain as to whether is the mental control system the cause of the patient's mental disorders. The patient is deemed mentally unfit for duty until further notice."
-Excerpt from psychiatric report of ASH MK-II test pilot
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#17 Cartesian

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Posted 03 December 2003 - 06:14 AM

there are some typos etc, which i can spellcheck later in the final doc.

hummmingbird -> Ali? (float, sting etc) and abreviations, hummmer and bird are already taken by conventional vehicles.

we might/probably will have to change the bit about gravity waves once the ufo propulsion is fixed. this will be fixed once we have "finished" the xenium ctd. I will simply modify your text there to incorporate the new changes, so dont worry about it.

how come it is that the alien alloys ahve got this bio-bit thhat acts like a cool muc=scle, but you didnt ues it to make power armour? why did the terrorists make the myomers?

#18 tzuchan

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Posted 03 December 2003 - 06:34 AM

Hmm...
Main idea was that you needed to research the UFO Navigation system to research flying suit in the first place, so I had this wierd idea of a organic muscle system reacting to the brainwaves broadcasted by the UFO nav system...

While this may come as a kicker especially if the player researches ufo nav before researching ufo power (VERY possible, especially when you consider that the UFO power has a tendency of exploding when the UFO is shot down...), I pretty sure I covered that base by implying that the breakthrough on the Bio-organic component occured after the power suit was developed.

As to the name... I was originally planning on continuing the trend I started in the power armour by naming the flying suit after one of the ancient armies... but the names gave me the feeling men weighted down with armour and weapons... not quite suitable for a suit that makes you feel like you're walking on air eh?

BTW, Hummingbird is a type of bird that can hover in the air in one spot. Do a search on yahoo if you wanna know more.

Edited by tzuchan, 03 December 2003 - 06:42 AM.

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#19 Cartesian

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Posted 03 December 2003 - 07:25 AM

LOL I know what a hummingbird is! ^_^ And google is better than yahoo. No ads. Faster etc...

its just that hummingbird is a long word and ppl will want to abbreviate it. hummer and bird are taken by humvees and general fixed wing planes.

Ali was a boxer whose possibly most famous quote is something like:
"I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee".

how does the bio organic component work for the aliens. no really, its thhere for a reason, and we must figure out whhat this reason is.

and once again, why wont we upgrade the Praetorians (MK4? whatever) suits with this new stuff? Why will we keep the myomer? why didnt we discover the muscle immediately after researching alloy and navigation?

#20 tzuchan

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Posted 03 December 2003 - 08:40 AM

how does the bio organic component work for the aliens. no really, its thhere for a reason, and we must figure out whhat this reason is.


Hmm? Don't quite get what you mean... Do you mean what is it doing in the Alien Alloy?

and once again, why wont we upgrade the Praetorians (MK4? whatever) suits with this new stuff? Why will we keep the myomer? why didnt we discover the muscle immediately after researching alloy and navigation?


... Truthfully, I can't come up with what I can consider a reasonable reason for the first two. However, I think that while the bio-organic muscles would make an excellent replacement for myomers, It might require a major reworking of the design as myomers and bio-organic muscles probrably have very different requirements.

And as to researching the bio-organic muscles independent of flying suit, is that necessary? What we are doing here is trying to provide a believable background, but does that mean that nothing can happen in the background?
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#21 Puasonen

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Posted 03 December 2003 - 12:58 PM

"I tell you, those things move on thier own! Mine was planning on eating me and I knew
because of the freaky mental control systems those scientist cooked up. I had to kill it
before it found out I knew it's plans!"

"The patient exhibits signs of severe paranoia as well as psychosis. It is uncertain as to
whether is the mental control system the cause of the patient's mental disorders. The
patient is deemed mentally unfit for duty until further notice."
-Excerpt from psychiatric report of flying suit test pilot

That would really work if the suit would look even a bit like in original (that creepy different sized eyes were creepy) o_O

But our version isn't that creepy type, it pretty much looks like a normal futuristic space suit so I can't imagine those hallusinations of selfmoving flying suits in a dark warehouse..
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#22 mikker

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Posted 03 December 2003 - 01:21 PM

it pretty much looks like a normal futuristic space suit so I can't imagine those hallusinations of selfmoving flying suits in a dark warehouse..

but you arn't mentaly unstable :)

heck, this guy could make conspiracy theories over rotten chease.

Edited by mikker, 03 December 2003 - 01:23 PM.

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#23 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 03 December 2003 - 02:06 PM

Well, if we made it so that the suit talked to you, that would make it creepier! "Hello Dave. I can't do that dave. I don't think so dave." :)
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#24 Puasonen

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Posted 03 December 2003 - 02:28 PM

but you arn't mentaly unstable :)

LOL, guess that's a good point :D
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#25 tzuchan

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Posted 03 December 2003 - 07:57 PM

Hey guys, any suggestions for a name to replace "Hummingbird"? Hopefully we can come up with a name based on ancient infantry forces that are fast and mobile...

Currently I've got myrmidon floating around in my mind, but I'm still looking for more suggestions...

Cartesian... Naming the suit Ali, while in theme, makes it sounds funny...

"Troops, meet Ali, now put 'em on!"

Truthfully, he did come to mind while I was trying to come up with a name... as it is, I almost named it "Butterfly"...
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#26 Cartesian

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Posted 03 December 2003 - 08:15 PM

i guess my questions are: what is it about flying suits that allowed discovery of this muscle?

WHY did the aliens build the muscle into the alien alloy?

Do you mean what is it doing in the Alien Alloy?-Yes. WHAT do the aliens use it for.

Perhaps there is no alien musle in the alien alloy. perhaps we humans took flying tech from ufos and added it to our MK4 moyomer muslce hardsuits and goit flying suits.

#27 tzuchan

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Posted 04 December 2003 - 02:44 AM

Cartesian, regarding the "muscles" in the alien alloy, please read the alien alloy CTD which is, as far as I know, final. The idea is that the alien alloys are grown from the silacoids, and they are the source of bio-organic materials in the alien alloy. My idea is that after alien alloy was researched, some of the researchers continued messing with the bio-organic samples obtained from the initial alien alloy samples, and from there developed the new bio-organic myomers around the same time as the flying suit was developed.

One idea I have about why the newer bio-organic myomers weren't used in the power armor after it's discovery is that although it has a much better power output to weight & mass ratio, it is far more Xenium-122 inefficient in that it requires a whole lot more xenium to function. This would kick up the Xenium consuption of the power armor to unreasonable levels, but is okay in the flying suit as you have to have bigger Xenium-122 power sources inorder to produce the necessary amounts of gravity waves(Or whatever it is, pending changes to the ufo power source CTD)
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#28 Cartesian

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Posted 04 December 2003 - 03:02 AM

Yeah, when I read trhe alien alloy a while back i noted it had living tiissue in it, but this was to repair the alloy.

i got thhe impression that the layers were micrometers thick.

i saw nothign about muscles. perhaps there are muslces around the doors to the craft?

youve just seen guttermonkeys post. have you considered using his ideas?

#29 tzuchan

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Posted 04 December 2003 - 03:33 AM

You and I are fated to never quite agree aren't we?

Yes, there isn't any "muscles" per se in the alien alloy, but my idea is that by experimenting on the tissue samples that they have, the scientists managed to find a way to "breed" a strain of bio-organic components into muscles...

Let's not consider them muscles, lets call 'em bio-organic myomers...

BTW, please clear up abit on what you mean about using gutter monkeys' idea...

Do you mean his control system?
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#30 Cartesian

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Posted 04 December 2003 - 03:48 AM

no just the whole muslce idea. why use alien muslces thhat aren't found in the alien alloy ctd, when you can just resue old human tech that drew too much power.

my impression when playing ufo was that you made power armour out of human designs but using alien power supply and alien alloys.

the flying suit was the same thing but withhh an alien engine on the back.

i not disagreeing with you out of hand, or even disagreeing with you per se. i like to think i just offer up any possibly useful alternatives i can think of at the time. i happen to be talking with you lots ;) so i happen to be offering lots of ideas for you to mull over.

i also know though that if something doesnt make sense to me i will ask "why" until i understand. im basically not here to write ctds, but to offer suggestions, ask questions and be available for discussions about physics, gameplay etc.

#31 Breunor

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Posted 04 December 2003 - 08:38 AM

Here are some thoughts I have regarding the muscle/myomer issue, with some questions possibly as well... this pertains to the power armor as much as flying armor I guess, so I'll double post in the other thread too.

The idea of the suits having enough myomers to enhance the soldiers strength-is there evidence of this in the original game? Meaning is you had soldier Bob holding a heavy cannon and getting 30TUs, and you then equiped him with power armor, did he more than 30TUs because the armor made his weapon lighter and thus easier to carry around? I don't think that's the case, so we can't have a text descrition that contradicts actual gameplay.

The other point that was made is that the alien alloys were very thin, so perhaps the bio-organic myomers must be grafted into the alloy itself, which limits the size/thickness of the myomer. This also limits the amount of force it can provide.

I see the myomers as a form of power steering really, making something lighter for you but not excessively strong. I wear about 50 pounds of armor in the SCA, and when it's strapped on it's not that heavy becasue the mass is centered on my body. The power/flying armor would be heavier still, and would cause issues for the average wearer. Why not explain that the myomers integrated into the suit are triggered by various pressure sensors and respond with the user's motions, providing additional force like power steering. The result is that the user feels like they are wearing a very light suit, and their TUs are not affected by the several hundred pounds of gear.

#32 The Master Maniac

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Posted 16 September 2004 - 02:58 AM

Well, I think it's okay to upload this. If I've jumped the gun or written out this CTD for nothing, feel free to terminate this thread. This is the result of an idea that just jumped to mind.


Attached File  Flying_Suit_Creative_Text_Experiment.rtf   10.4K   42 downloads

Any comments are appreciated. Bah, what the heck--guess it wouldn't hurt to copy and paste it here for those who don't like rtfs...

-------
The development of the advanced HAH MK-IV Praetorian PBA (Powered Battle Armor) brought X-Corps to a turning point in the once seemingly hopeless war, granting field agents much increased combat ability whilst at the same time enhancing defensive capabilities, effectively giving our soldiers a fighting chance against the technologically-advanced enemy. Establishing a ground-breaking trend, the Praetorian managed to single-handedly increase a unit's chances of survival in the battlefield by offering superior protection and advanced computer logistics to aid troops in combat. The results alone were staggering, proving once and for all that there's nothing that a little ingenuity cannot solve. The alien plasma weapons finally met their match, and our soldiers could at last balance the scales for a while--hopefully giving the human effort the time it needs to come up with a better solution.

After extensive efforts, that solution is finally at hand in the form of Icarus, the latest offering of our internal Research and Development Department. A further development of the powerful Praetorian battlefield solution, Icarus offers superb armor coverage and protection, along with completely new tactical advantage we've long only dreamed of: flight. Using miniature anti-gravity, Xenium-powered particle generators similar in design to alien UFO propulsion systems, the next-generation HAH MK-V Icarus can take our fighting units to the skies in an effort to counter the alien menace.

Time and effort, breakthrough after breakthrough, our research division has at long last reached an answer to the alien threat, in the form of one of the most significant scientific achievements known to mankind. While the general idea retains a certain degree of simplicity--giving a human being deft airborne capabilities--the means in getting there were a little less subtle. Initial testing proved that the flexibility of the mysterious alien alloys ensured the material was up to the task. The important question was, were the soldiers?

Apparently, the reactive properties of the alien alloys have a veritable mixed bag of advantages and disadvantages. The chief advantage scientists were looking at was the material's ability to remain strong yet inexplicably flexible, even at incredible temperatures. The problem was, in recent prototype experiments, the material exhibited a strange tendency to expand or contract, almost at random. Concerned that a soldier may suddenly be constricted to death, the science team painstakingly endeavored to discover what was causing this curious behavior. Experimenting with laser beam refraction technology in an effort to trigger the phenomenon the alloys were made famous for, it soon became clear that the reaction was caused by their attempts to fuse hybrid AAG (Advanced Anti-Gravity) units into the design of the original Praetorian. Strangely enough, this odd occurrence didn’t seem to have been triggered by the anti-matter properties as a whole, but rather by the act of attempting to get the suit airborne. It seemed that the aliens had somehow "programmed" the alloy to react in various ways according to its usage. Astounded, researchers endeavored to determine just why this occurred, for what purpose the aliens intended to utilize this odd behavior.

The secret laid within, deep inside the molecular structure of the material, where a breathtakingly advanced sub-atomic particle-assembly system went into effect. Amazingly, the aliens had somehow managed to "engineer" the very chemical makeup of this remarkably multi-purpose alloy, integrating a revolutionary physical adaptation device into its very material core. Not only does this explain the mysterious “smart” properties of the alloy, this discovery gives light to another: the material can actually be “molded” and modeled by the environment, effectively allowing it to adapt in new ways depending on desired usage.

Delving into the mysteries behind this unbelievable fact, X-Corps researchers tried everything possible to at least spark some kind of chemical reaction in an effort to emulate the aliens’ ability to “command” the substance. Some time afterwards, the concentrated effort all came to a head. Attempting to form a link between other forms of alien technology and the alien alloys they so dominantly relied upon, scientists first attempted at using everything X-Corps had learned so far. Xenium power fluctuations, UFO magnetic disruption arrays, even what has been learned about psionics…though no significant findings were reported. That was, until one of the scientists actually volunteered to take a prototype up into the air for a contained test flight. Unbelievably, the armored suit melded itself to fit his shape, changing its own weight distribution to stay upright in the air. At first taken by surprise, the tester attempted to apply a forward directional thrust using the anti-grav accelerators. Not causing the slightest bit of trouble, the modified Praetorian slowly edged forward through the air, maintaining a constant speed and heading based on his back-mounted thrusters. The breakthrough was both a surprising and important one, paving the way for a subsequent string of incredible discoveries.

The findings were incredible. It appeared that the alloy was indeed capable of adapting to the environment, for keeping a single soldier airborne for extended periods of time. With appropriate aerodynamic modifications, the addition of a user-specific, leg-mounted directional thrust system, the prototype steadily developed into what we now know as Icarus--the next and greatest step forward in reactive defense technology X-Corps has achieved yet.

Using next-generation anti-gravity harmonic stabilizers, complete with a 360-degree magnetic thrust system, Icarus is capable of levitating a soldier roughly twenty to thirty feet into the air for a virtually indefinite amount of time. Maintaining balance is an easy task, due to the fact each suit comes equipped with a powerful gravitational regulatory system that always keeps a soldier upright in the air, no matter what the rate of movement is. It should be noted that the MK-V Icarus was developed with tactical enhancements in mind, and was accordingly not designed for speed. In keeping with the idea of maintaining personal safety in midair, Icarus can only achieve max acceleration values of roughly 25-50 miles an hour. The powerful, Xenium-fuelled servo mechanics have been drastically improved upon to be less constricting, and the onboard tactical computer revamped to reflect the addition of airborne navigation. Armor plating has been improved via particle-distribution technology, increasing the overall defensive rating of the unit without sacrificing mobility. As with the Praetorian, an internal, sealed oxygen circulation system combined with a special environmental containment unit provides protection from harsh outside conditions, effectively rendering the wearer immune to smoke, fire [I’m guessing, here], and some corrosive acids.

In durability tests, Icarus survived more than 5 direct hits from alien plasma systems with minimal damage. It is estimated that the unit can withstand extensive damage before armor integrity is breached, therefore making Icarus an ideal choice for frontline troops. A threat-detection relay system mounted in the helmet camera alerts squad mates when a hostile enters the wearer’s line of sight, giving team members direct calculations as to where the enemy is located relative to them. Light amplification systems [floating this, no pun intended] grant the user slightly improved visibility in the dark, without being too intrusive, while a HUD display broadcasts the user’s physical status at all times. Attempting to save lives, an internal polymer material can act as a makeshift tourniquet to apply pressure to possible wounds instantly on the field, until medical attention arrives. Unfortunately, the suit does have a rather glaring flaw--the rear plating was made less durable in order to successfully incorporate the anti-gravity system, which makes for a potentially serious vulnerability. While still quite strong, the rear armor isn't guaranteed to take as much of a beating as the rest of the suit can. There appears to be no good workaround as of yet, other than falling back to the Praetorian, of course. Once a soldier adapts to that relatively minor flaw, there should be no further issues to worry about.

Icarus is a massive step forward for X-Corps, and a relatively economical one, at that. Though requiring a respectable quantity of Xenium power supplies to operate, and a good deal of raw alien alloys to construct, it is expected that Icarus can soon become standard issue for our troops once mass manufacturing efforts are put into action. On a positive side note, the internal Xenium cells do not require recharging, due in large part to the advanced anti-grav system’s low energy yield. The system can be used for months without maintenance, and even then the only real repairs required are computer-related, unless physical damage is sustained in combat. One of the only real downsides to this design happens to be the relatively difficult manufacturing process, which must be handled with great skill and care to perform successfully.

Researching efforts are now officially completed, and the head of the R&D department hereby okays the production of the final models once the schematics are released.

Dr. Walter Harold
Advanced Research and Development
Division 6


Okay--that’s that. I noticed that the flying armor CTD was still active, so I figured I’d take a crack at it. Please give whatever feedback you guys want, as I’m always looking for suggestions or feedback, positive or negative (hey, we’ve all got to learn somewhere, right?). Feel free to add in any technical details, as I’ll admit, I went pretty lax on those. Also, if there’s anything you guys feel that’s missing, don’t hesitate to tell me. Well, thanks for any replies.

#33 mikker

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Posted 16 September 2004 - 08:16 AM

a bit too sugar sweet for my taste. It doesn't really turn the side of war, maybe help it considerably, but thats all. Make it a little less "this is our saviour"ish.

Edited by mikker, 16 September 2004 - 12:32 PM.

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#34 The Master Maniac

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Posted 16 September 2004 - 11:09 AM

Yeah, I know what you mean. I guess I tried to balance out the fact that the flying armor is really, really useful, without making the description too hokey or not "powerful" enough. I'll see to that.

And thanks for the feedback, by the way!

#35 mikker

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Posted 16 September 2004 - 12:41 PM

For fluff text....

"Ah, it really is nice and comfy....hey...what does this button doooooooooooooooargh!!!" ~ Last known recording of the now-in-orbit suit-tester and rookie, Jonathan Leelaw. His achivements forced the engineering department to build in a device, that automaticly blocks the suit from going too far up.

Is that too extreme :huh:

"Apparently, the reactive properties of the alien alloys have a veritable mixed bag of advantages and disadvantages. The chief advantage scientists were looking at was the material's ability to remain strong yet inexplicably flexible, even at incredible temperatures. The problem was, in recent prototype experiments, the material exhibited a strange tendency to expand or contract, almost at random. Concerned that a soldier may suddenly be constricted to death, the science team painstakingly endeavored to discover what was causing this curious behavior. Experimenting with laser beam refraction technology in an effort to trigger the phenomenon the alloys were made famous for, it soon became clear that the reaction was caused by their attempts to fuse hybrid AAG (Advanced Anti-Gravity) units into the design of the original Praetorian. Strangely enough, this odd occurrence didn’t seem to have been triggered by the anti-matter properties as a whole, but rather by the act of attempting to get the suit airborne. It seemed that the aliens had somehow "programmed" the alloy to react in various ways according to its usage. Astounded, researchers endeavored to determine just why this occurred, for what purpose the aliens intended to utilize this odd behavior.

The secret laid within, deep inside the molecular structure of the material, where a breathtakingly advanced sub-atomic particle-assembly system went into effect. Amazingly, the aliens had somehow managed to "engineer" the very chemical makeup of this remarkably multi-purpose alloy, integrating a revolutionary physical adaptation device into its very material core. Not only does this explain the mysterious “smart” properties of the alloy, this discovery gives light to another: the material can actually be “molded” and modeled by the environment, effectively allowing it to adapt in new ways depending on desired usage.

Delving into the mysteries behind this unbelievable fact, X-Corps researchers tried everything possible to at least spark some kind of chemical reaction in an effort to emulate the aliens’ ability to “command” the substance. Some time afterwards, the concentrated effort all came to a head. Attempting to form a link between other forms of alien technology and the alien alloys they so dominantly relied upon, scientists first attempted at using everything X-Corps had learned so far. Xenium power fluctuations, UFO magnetic disruption arrays, even what has been learned about psionics…though no significant findings were reported. That was, until one of the scientists actually volunteered to take a prototype up into the air for a contained test flight. Unbelievably, the armored suit melded itself to fit his shape, changing its own weight distribution to stay upright in the air. At first taken by surprise, the tester attempted to apply a forward directional thrust using the anti-grav accelerators. Not causing the slightest bit of trouble, the modified Praetorian slowly edged forward through the air, maintaining a constant speed and heading based on his back-mounted thrusters. The breakthrough was both a surprising and important one, paving the way for a subsequent string of incredible discoveries.

The findings were incredible. It appeared that the alloy was indeed capable of adapting to the environment, for keeping a single soldier airborne for extended periods of time. With appropriate aerodynamic modifications, the addition of a user-specific, leg-mounted directional thrust system, the prototype steadily developed into what we now know as Icarus--the next and greatest step forward in reactive defense technology X-Corps has achieved yet."

Hmmm.....sounds good, but 1) drop the psionics, and 2) This could be used for better porpuse in another text, like ufo construction.

"A threat-detection relay system mounted in the helmet camera alerts squad mates when a hostile enters the wearer’s line of sight, giving team members direct calculations as to where the enemy is located relative to them. Light amplification systems [floating this, no pun intended] grant the user slightly improved visibility in the dark, without being too intrusive, while a HUD display broadcasts the user’s physical status at all times."

wouldn't that be better in the first suit topic (t-shirt one)? Then this system would work on all the suits.

Edited by mikker, 16 September 2004 - 12:44 PM.

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#36 The Master Maniac

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Posted 16 September 2004 - 08:54 PM

Oops--my bad. I just checked the asset list, and the thread I was directed to (which I couldn't find again) was still marked as "Active Tasks." Yikes. My mistake. ^_^

As for the helmet-cam system, I don't see why it wouldn't work for the BDU, as well, Mikker. Maybe somebody could add that bit?

edit--not to be annoying, but are you guys sure that it's finalized? I keep clicking its link, yet the thread remains as "active." Looks like I did all this for nothing...

Oh well, I'll get to another one, I guess.

Edited by The Master Maniac, 17 September 2004 - 02:25 PM.


#37 tzuchan

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Posted 19 September 2004 - 04:04 PM

/me snorts
Don't worry too much about it...
I've been inactive for quite a while. I have been meaning to rewrite the flying armour CTD... was thinking about removing all references to alien bio-organic materials cause I got some comments that it was making the CTD too complicated for no good reason.
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#38 The Master Maniac

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Posted 19 September 2004 - 04:10 PM

Oh, by all means. I'm already working on another CT! ^_^ Hope this one isn't already considered final...

#39 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 19 September 2004 - 04:14 PM

Figured, but as long as its active, everything can be modified, maybe you two could complement each other, each CT seemed very good, and Tzuchan, sorry but I agree that too much of the bio parts makes it too complicated :Blush: , but very imaginative nevertheless. :beer:

#40 The Master Maniac

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Posted 19 September 2004 - 04:17 PM

Okay--didn't know it was still active. ^_^

Hmm, I don't see why not. I'll just wait and see which direction you guys are leaning towards. I'm assuming the armor's going to look quite heavy and cumbersome, right? Or is it going to have a lighter, more organic feel as suggested earlier?

Oh yeah--thanks for the feedback, as well. I'll have to read over Tzu's full CT again, as I kinda couldn't find the thread again for some reason...

Edited by The Master Maniac, 19 September 2004 - 04:18 PM.


#41 tzuchan

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Posted 19 September 2004 - 05:34 PM

Since I'll rather not drag up another thread just to discuss a more or less new version, I'm popping a new version of my ctd here...
Read and Review please!

Flying Suit CTD:

Topic: Aerial Superiority Hardsuit Mark III (ASH - MK III "ICARUS")
[Insert Stats Here:]

The Aerial Superiority Hardsuit Mark III, "Icarus", is the final phase of personal armour design. Not only does it provide ten percent more protection than the Praetorian, the Icarus also provides our agents with better tatical flexibility by allowing them to take to the air. Unfortunately, a design compromise resulted in the Icarus having rear armour weaker than that of the Praetorian's due to the flight system backpack.

With the developement of the HAH - MK IV Praetorian, we have provided our agents in the field with armour protection comparable to that of the aliens. This has increased the survival rates by an appreciable margin, especially among the new recruits. Unfortunately, the aliens still maintain a strategic advantage over our personnel in that several species have the ability to maneuver through the skies above the battlefield. This provides them with better situation awareness as well as better fields of fire.

Initial attempts to install miniture anti-gravity generators into existing Praetorians suits did not fare well. While we were able to develop anti-gravity generators both small and efficient enough to provide sustainable flight, the complexity involved with controlling the hovering suit(as helicopter pilots put it, "Like chewing gum, rubbing your tummy and patting the top of your head... while balancing on a bowling ball at the same time") required controls too complex to integrate into a suit's control system and early trials resulted in several near fatal accidents. As a result, the development of the Mark I "Flying Praets" was put on hold while we studied the alien UFO control systems for a solution.

By developing a simplified version of the UFO control systems, we essentially allowed the occupant of the suits to control the suits' flight using their minds, and initial trials showed great promise with the suits pulling off advance acrobatics midair with ease. However, just as the Aerial Superiority Hardsuit Mark II was entering preproduction development, three out of four of the test pilots started exhibiting signs of psychosis and severe paranoia, to the extent that all three had to be sedated and placed under watch inorder to prevent them from injuring themselves as well as other personnel.

Extensive review of the recorder flight data as well as the design suggested that the stress of controlling every single detail of the suit's flight resulted in severe stress for the human mind which was simply not designed to process that much information, resulting in a chemical imbalance in the brain as well as neuron "burnout" from being psionicly active for extended periods of time. Unfortunately, we were only able to jury-rig a neural engram buffer to simulate ninety percent of the required input/output to maintain level flight, and in the due process, limit the suits to basic movements along the horizontal and vertical planes. We still hope to be able to finalize a design that would enable our field agents to fly throught the skies freely, but due to the time constraints, are forced to field the Aerial Superiority Hardsuit Mark III, the Icarus, as it is right now.

"I tell you, those things move on their own! Mine was planning on eating me and I knew because of the freaky mental control systems those scientists cooked up. I had to kill it before it found out I knew its plans!"

"The patient exhibits signs of severe paranoia as well as psychosis. It is uncertain as to whether is the mental control system the cause of the patient's mental disorders. The patient is deemed mentally unfit for duty until further notice."
-Excerpt from psychiatric report of ASH MK-II test pilot

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#42 The Master Maniac

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Posted 20 September 2004 - 01:04 PM

Maybe the nickname "Hummingbird" sounds better after all. Perhaps "Icarus" sounds a bit too hokey--in a sense, I kind of like the strange juxtaposition of having military technology labeled with a more lighthearted name. Then again, there's the issue of sticking with the mythological continuity of naming we've had so far--after all the "Praetorian" just sounds great (kudos to whoever came up with that one, by the way). Guess it comes down to administrative choice.

Hmm, apparently the navigational system is supposed to be maintained with a psionic control device. Another oversight of mine. Oh well, I like the way you fused together ideas from criticism, to create something unique and original. My only (miniscule) complaints are simply: 1) the statement that survival rates in the field and armor integrity go up by a certain percentage sounds too matter-of-fact-ish. Ambiguity perhaps has purposes, too. 2) pet-peeve of mine, and I know I'm going to get flamed to heck for this now or later, but it's still inevitable, is my general dislike of humorous fluff text. When done correctly, it totally adds a whole dimension to the game (think Deus Ex or Syphon Filter), but when the slightest thing appears out of place, the atmosphere of an entire piece can be totally ruined by just one or two sentences. Subtlety is important in the case of fluff-speak--go too humorous and the mood can go down quick, too serious and it'll sound like just another part of the piece (which is probably for the better anyway). In the light of the fact my sense of humor is practically non-existant, I generally shy away from fluff text unless specifically instructed otherwise.

Guess we'll have to wait and see.

Edited by The Master Maniac, 20 September 2004 - 01:06 PM.


#43 tzuchan

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Posted 20 September 2004 - 02:18 PM

/me shrugs
I dunno, Icarus appeals to me for some inane reason... possibly for the fact that the guy fell to his death when he flew too close to the sun. But then again, it also feels in theme with the name that I cooked up for the Praet.

Regarding your first point, as it is, with the survival rates, I'm pretty darn sure a heck of a lot more rookies will be surviving their first encounters, so that "increase in survival rates" ain't too far of the mark(Plus the fact that I never mentioned how much it would increase anyway :devillaugh: ) And also, considering that this is supposed to read like a technical document, matter of factness *might* be considered a good thing... But then again, that's my own standard, it's not the first time that people have complained that I write like an engineer...

As to the second, er... humourous fluffie? are you sure I have one of those hanging around here?
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#44 The Master Maniac

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Posted 20 September 2004 - 02:27 PM

Hmm, I didn't quite mean that your particular fluff text was intended to be humorous at all, it's just the slant--pretend like you're reading this in the interface, complete with a dramatic view of the earth, with spooky music playing quietly in the background (hence, the Xenocide menus ^_^ ). You want to match the mood, which I believe is leaning a bit more towards "dark, sinister, and brooding" from what I've seen.

Yeah, such is the legend of Icarus. It meets the whole mythological order in a way, I guess. Still, Hummingbird has a kind of undescribable charm to it...

As for the survival rates, it's fundamentally okay. But, one of the biggest things about the original X-Com was the constant factor of unpredicability in order (be that intended or not) that could spawn all kinds of "this shouldn't have happened" moments, such as a rookie in kevlar taking 4 direct plasma hits with only minimal damage, or a solider making a perfect lethal shot with a rifle more than 15 squares away when his snap shot accuracy is reported to be 14 percent. In hoping Xenocide will retain that same degree of "maybe that could happen against all odds" in its gameplay, perhaps nodding to "the armor might be able to stand up t0 blah blah," etc. would feel a bit less rigid.

Just minor thoughts. :)

#45 tzuchan

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Posted 20 September 2004 - 02:38 PM

Hum...
True, some of the fluffies I've read can be a little farout, but then again, there's supposed to be a general review of all the fluffies when we in the CTD are done with most/all of the text. You might consider some of them to be placeholders.

I would like to state, for the record, that ten percent increase in armour does not mean ten percent increase in survival rate... after all, a plasma shot to the head will still result in death 90% of the time... flying armour or not...

In truth, I think you don't have to worry too much about whether this game is going to be by the numbers. For the sake of game balance, you can be sure that we are still going to have a chance of loosing even the commander despite the fact that he's maxed out every stat and is wearing the Icarus.
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#46 The Master Maniac

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Posted 20 September 2004 - 02:43 PM

Judging from my constant failures in the original X-Com on Superhuman, that chance is a bit higher than we'd all think...

But those are the only minor niggles I could come up with. Great work.

#47 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 20 September 2004 - 07:19 PM

Damnit, shouldn't have had that last drink... oh well, here is my text sweep, green parts are suggested changed for red ones, the green paragraphs are general suggestions. Done to the best... to my partial abilities ^_^
Great work! :beer:

edit: fixed some grammar and spelling while I was at it :rock:


Flying Suit CTD:

Topic: Aerial Superiority Hardsuit Mark III (ASH - MK III "ICARUS")
[Insert Stats Here:]

The Aerial Superiority Hardsuit Mark III, "Icarus", is the final phase of personal armour design. Not only does it provide ten percent more protection than the Praetorian, the Icarus also provides our agents with better tactical flexibility by allowing them to move freely above the engagement area. take to the air. Unfortunately, a design compromise resulted in the Icarus having rear armour plating weaker than that of the Praetorian's due to the flight system backpack.

Don’t say it’s the “final phase” , it is the ultimate armour that you can get in the game, but the player doesn’t need to know that and even if he does, it isn’t realistic to have the scientists knowing that they won’t be able to come up with anything else better.

With the development of the HAH - MK IV Praetorian, we have provided our agents in the field with armour protection comparable to that of the aliens. This has increased the survival rates by an appreciable margin, especially among the new recruits. Unfortunately, the aliens still maintain a strategic advantage over our personnel in that several species have the ability to manoeuvre through the skies above the battlefield. This provides them with better situation awareness as well as better fields of fire lines of fire.

Initial attempts to install miniature anti-gravity generators into existing Praetorians suits did not fare well failed (terribly, catastrophically?). While we were able to develop anti-gravity generators both small and efficient enough to provide sustainable flight, the complexity involved with controlling the hovering suit (as helicopter pilots put it, "Like chewing gum, rubbing your tummy and patting the top of your head... while balancing on a bowling ball at the same time") required controls too complex to integrate into a suit's control system and early trials resulted in several near fatal accidents. As a result, the development of the Mark I "Flying Praets" was put on hold while we studied the alien UFO control systems for a solution.

I don’t particularly like this paragraph, not sure why, doesn’t sound too good and it doesn’t give useful information, at least scrap the helicopter pilot thing, that definitely doesn’t sound good. If by “UFO Control systems” you are referring to the UFO Navigation entry, then it should be changed to Alien Navigation, since it’s the name we’re gonna use.

By developing a simplified version of the UFO control systems, we essentially allowed the occupant of the suits to control the suits' flight using their minds, and initial trials showed great promise with the suits pulling off advance acrobatics midair with ease. However, just as the Aerial Superiority Hardsuit Mark II was entering preproduction development phase, three out of four of the test pilots started exhibiting signs of psychosis and severe paranoia, to the extent that all three had to be sedated and placed under watch in order to prevent them from injuring themselves as well as other personnel.

UFO control systems (or Alien Navigation) here is repetitive since you mentioned in the previous sentence, change it to something like “By developing a modified version of our bio-feedback AlphaWave technology using Alien UFOs’ psionic controllers, we’ve managed to create a simpler version of these, which allow our troopers to effectively control the Icarus and perform advanced acrobatics midair with ease”
Suits is repetitive in the second sentence, I suggest we change one by “Power armour, armour, or Icarus.


Extensive review of the recorder flight data as well as the further analysis of the design suggested that the stress of controlling every single detail of the suit's flight resulted in severe stress for the human mind which was simply not designed to process that much information, resulting in a chemical imbalance in the brain as well as neuron "burnout" from being psionically active for extended periods of time. Unfortunately, we were only able to jury-rig a neural engram buffer to simulate ninety percent of the required input/output to maintain level flight, and in the due process, limit the suits to basic movements along the horizontal and vertical planes. We still hope to be able to finalize a design that would enable our field agents to fly through the skies freely, but due to the time constraints, are forced to field the Aerial Superiority Hardsuit Mark III, the Icarus, as it is right now.

Since it’s using a similar control system to that of the UFOs, though simplified, you should mention that it has been modified in such a way that the user doesn’t actually feel pain when the armour is hit, and that the trooper doesn’t die if he gets out of the armour too quick, or if he does, at least mention it. Check the Alien Navigation entry for more information regarding the psionic control systems.


"I tell you, those things move on their own! Mine was planning on eating me and I knew because of the freaky mental control systems those scientists cooked up. I had to kill it before it found out I knew its plans!"

"The patient exhibits signs of severe paranoia as well as psychosis. It is uncertain as to whether it is the mental control system the cause of the patient's mental disorders. The patient is deemed mentally unfit for duty until further notice."
-Excerpt from psychiatric report of ASH MK-II test pilot

How about mentioning something about the user’s vitals?, like in the Praetorian CT, not saying it all over again, but just mentioning that this power armour has it too.
Excerpt from Praetorian CT, use at will.
“The user’s vitals are tracked automatically by the medical computer, which is situated next to the main CPU, and if the armor detects a breach of suit integrity accompanied by a change in the soldier’s vitals indicating a wound, any one of the CO2 bladders can be inflated to act in it’s secondary role of applying pressure as close to the wound as possible. If ordered to by the medical computer or by manual command from either the soldier himself or a medic, the armor will apply this pressure directly to the closest major artery, acting as a tourniquet.”

Edited by Azrael, 20 September 2004 - 07:22 PM.


#48 The Master Maniac

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Posted 20 September 2004 - 10:47 PM

Looks like that's a wrap, ladies and gentlemen. However, I do feel duty-bound to throw in my last complaints before the topic is stamped final. Let 'er roll:

Okay, to be frank (I'd try to say this in a nicer way, but I'm incredibly strapped for time at the moment), I really like this

"Using next-generation anti-gravity harmonic stabilizers, complete with a 360-degree magnetic thrust system, Icarus is capable of levitating a soldier roughly twenty to thirty feet into the air for a virtually indefinite amount of time. Maintaining balance is an easy task, due to the fact each suit comes equipped with a powerful gravitational regulatory system that always keeps a soldier upright in the air, no matter what the rate of movement is. It should be noted that the MK-V Icarus was developed with tactical enhancements in mind, and was accordingly not designed for speed. In keeping with the idea of maintaining personal safety in midair, Icarus can only achieve max acceleration values of roughly 25-50 miles an hour. The powerful, Xenium-fuelled servo mechanics have been drastically improved upon to be less constricting, and the onboard tactical computer revamped to reflect the addition of airborne navigation. Armor plating has been improved via particle-distribution technology, increasing the overall defensive rating of the unit without sacrificing mobility. As with the Praetorian, an internal, sealed oxygen circulation system combined with a special environmental containment unit provides protection from harsh outside conditions, effectively rendering the wearer immune to smoke, fire, and some corrosive acids."

Better than this.

"Initial attempts to install miniature anti-gravity generators into existing Praetorians suits did not fare well failed (terribly, catastrophically?). While we were able to develop anti-gravity generators both small and efficient enough to provide sustainable flight, the complexity involved with controlling the hovering suit (as helicopter pilots put it, "Like chewing gum, rubbing your tummy and patting the top of your head... while balancing on a bowling ball at the same time") required controls too complex to integrate into a suit's control system and early trials resulted in several near fatal accidents. As a result, the development of the Mark I "Flying Praets" was put on hold while we studied the alien UFO control systems for a solution."

Again, I don't like the whole "living suit" thing, and the fluff text is a bit too intrusive, if not silly. If fluff is absolutely essential, we could go with something more technically-related, such as an attached note elaborating on some kind of trick one can use whilst in midair or something of the like. Again, the idea is having this incredible technology seem real and tangible rather than funny and ridiculous.

Also, it would be a good idea to give the player a slight grasp of what exactly the defensive capabilities of the armored suit provide.

"In durability tests, Icarus survived more than 5 direct hits from alien plasma systems with minimal damage. It is estimated that the unit can withstand extensive damage before armor integrity is breached, therefore making Icarus an ideal choice for frontline troops. A threat-detection relay system mounted in the helmet camera alerts squad mates when a hostile enters the wearer’s line of sight, giving team members direct calculations as to where the enemy is located relative to them. Light amplification systems grant the user slightly improved visibility in the dark, without being too intrusive, while a HUD display broadcasts the user’s physical status at all times. Attempting to save lives, an internal polymer material can act as a makeshift tourniquet to apply pressure to possible wounds instantly on the field, until medical attention arrives. Unfortunately, the suit does have a rather glaring flaw--the rear plating was made less durable in order to successfully incorporate the anti-gravity system, which makes for a potentially serious vulnerability. While still quite strong, the rear armor isn't guaranteed to take as much of a beating as the rest of the suit can. There appears to be no good workaround as of yet, other than falling back to the Praetorian, of course. Once a soldier adapts to that relatively minor flaw, there should be no further issues to worry about."

I'm sure there's some sort of way to modify that above paragraph enough to get the idea across (all I'm suggesting here). If my style of writing doesn't work, then somebody else can and should add that extra bit on. The more interesting and informative, the better. Additional info is essential to make the technology feel that much more real.

Also, I agree with Mikker that we should drop the Psi in this particular case. Servomechanics will fare well enough in such a case (ie, soldier moves body, suit recognizes) rather than the whole psionic business. I'm pretty sure it's possible to accomplish the game without having psionics forced upon you, I'd think.

Other niggles are localized spelling and the like (I've not determined whether or not they'll be using "American" english or "English" english yet--ie, armor versus armour), and sentence flow (a big issue for me on crunch time :hammer: ), but other than that, it works. Sorry for the nitpicking--just think that positive criticism is the only thing that makes an author improve. Not trying to get under anybody's skin here.

Dammit, I'm done. ;)

#49 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 21 September 2004 - 12:01 AM

So many suggestions, Tzuchan will be busy :devillaugh:

#50 The Master Maniac

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Posted 21 September 2004 - 10:37 AM

Don't worry, I'm through. For now. ;)