Jump to content


Photo

CTD - Storage Facility


  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
93 replies to this topic

#51 Mad

Mad

    Creative Text Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,958 posts

Posted 30 May 2006 - 02:22 PM

Why would people expect a big explosion?  There's no breakages elsewhere when a base is attacked.  Or is there?  If there are going to be breakages during a base mission, then arranging a large explosion in the storage facility should not be a big job.  But I suspect breakages are a v1.0+ feature.

Edit:  Further, if we do apply Moriarty's logic, the anti-fire foam should be removed as well.  Otherwise people are going to be surprised if they fire incendaries in the SF, and the fire extingisher doesn't work.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, both true. But a big explosion would be nice I guess, more like an easter egg. Let's say, you pump four or five Blasters in there, and suddenly... :) But well, that's v1+
As for the breakages, I think damagable structures will be v1, but accounting of broken things after the battle definetly is v1+. But that's not the point here I think.
So I guess, though some people might wonder about it, since taking out both of them will remove too much "fun part" of the text, you could leave both in. (What a sentence! anyone got what I meant at the first read? Don't cheat! ;) )

Edited by Mad, 30 May 2006 - 02:27 PM.

Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image

#52 dteviot

dteviot

    Programming Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,479 posts

Posted 24 July 2006 - 11:22 PM

So I guess, though some people might wonder about it, since taking out both of them will remove too much "fun part" of the text, you could leave both in. (What a sentence! anyone got what I meant at the first read? Don't cheat! ;) )

Yes. You're saying the text is fine as it is, and can go to proofing :)
Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#53 Mad

Mad

    Creative Text Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,958 posts

Posted 27 July 2006 - 03:43 AM


So I guess, though some people might wonder about it, since taking out both of them will remove too much "fun part" of the text, you could leave both in. (What a sentence! anyone got what I meant at the first read? Don't cheat! ;) )

Yes. You're saying the text is fine as it is, and can go to proofing :)

Maybe you could prepare a new draft after I canabalized your text in my last review? :) Please. Makes it easier to find new stuff... :)
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image

#54 dteviot

dteviot

    Programming Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,479 posts

Posted 27 July 2006 - 11:29 PM

STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the storage facility (SF) is used for storing items that are not needed currently but are expected to be utilized in the near future. Operating staff are reminded of General Accounting Office (GAO) Directive XC-1273.c “To minimise base storage requirements and defray operating costs, items that are not expected to be used within 1 month must be sold.”

With the exceptions of vehicles and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store all items used by an operational base. X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armoury or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions.

The basic design of a storage facility is similar to a conventional warehouse. A large open space, filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant containers. Unfortunately, the considerable size of these units results in a siginificant reducution in the amount of material that can be stored in a SF compared to an equivalently sized conventional warehouse.

Because of the presence of explosives, the interior walls between the storage facility and the rest of the facility are heavily reinforced using carbon/carbon composites. Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are provided to channel the blast from an uncontrolled munitions detonation out of the base.

To further increase safety the facility is equipped with a very sensitive fast response fire suppression system, similar to that used in aircraft hangers, capable of completely filling the entire facility with fire-fighting foam within 30 seconds of activation. Consequently, personnel present in this facility must keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A research project to increase the capacity using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype had problems distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Realization that the enormous cost of the S&R system made it more cost effective to increase a base’s capacity by adding additional storage facilities resulted in the termination of the project.

GAO Directive XC-1271 requires the X-Corp commander to order every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF. A computerized system with direct connection to the X-Net has been provided to allow the X-Corp commander efficient management of the base's stocks.

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!"


Incidentally, the primary reason that ammunition and explosives are stored in a seperate, dedicated facility on most military bases is to minimise damage in the event of accidents. So I've left out the bit "Due to the high security level of all base personel X-Corps command sees no necessity for a dedicated armoury thus allowing fast weapon distrinution all over the base in the case of an attack".
Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#55 Mad

Mad

    Creative Text Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,958 posts

Posted 05 August 2006 - 02:49 PM

some annotations, otherwise very good text; very close to completion =b

STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the storage facility (SF) is used for storing items that are not needed currently but are expected to be utilized in the near future. Operating staff are reminded of General Accounting Office (GAO) Directive XC-1273.c “To minimise base storage requirements and defray operating costs, items that are not expected to be used within 1 month must are to be? be sold.”

With the exceptions of vehicles and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store all items used by an operational base. X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armoury or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions.

The basic design of a storage facility is similar to a conventional warehouse. A large open space, filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant containers. Unfortunately, the considerable size of these units results in a siginificant reducution in the amount of material that can be stored in a SF compared to an equivalently sized conventional warehouse.

Because of the presence of explosives, the interior walls between the storage facility and the rest of the facility are heavily reinforced using carbon/carbon composites. Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are provided to channel the blast from an uncontrolled munitions detonation out of the base.

To further increase safety the facility is equipped with a very sensitive fast response fire suppression system, similar to that used in aircraft hangers, capable of completely filling the entire facility with fire-fighting foam within 30 seconds of activation. Consequently, personnel present in this facility must keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A research project to increase the capacity using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype had problems distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Realization that the enormous cost of the S&R system made it more cost effective to increase a base’s capacity by adding additional storage facilities resulted in the termination of the project.

GAO Directive XC-1271 requires the X-Corp commander to order every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF. A computerized system with direct connection to the X-Net has been provided to allow the X-Corp commander efficient management of the base's stocks.

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!"


Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image

#56 dteviot

dteviot

    Programming Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,479 posts

Posted 05 August 2006 - 03:50 PM

carbon-carbon composites. (As opposed to other composite types.)

http://www.composite...rbon-carbon.htm
Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#57 Mad

Mad

    Creative Text Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,958 posts

Posted 05 August 2006 - 04:07 PM

carbon-carbon composites. (As opposed to other composite types.)

http://www.composite...rbon-carbon.htm

I see. Never heard of these... :) Ok, so it's only one anotation left. Other than that, I would consider it done. Other voices? :)
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image

#58 kafros

kafros

    Creative Text Department

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 1,800 posts

Posted 05 August 2006 - 05:12 PM

It flows perfectly and provides a good overview. Only 1 question pops into my mind? Why don't X-Corps bases have an armory?

In addition, 1 month is too little. If you don't want to intercept UFOs for the first month, should you sell you cannons, launchers and ammunition? Probably not. "...expected to be scheduled for sale within a period of 2 months"...maybe?

#59 dteviot

dteviot

    Programming Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,479 posts

Posted 05 August 2006 - 06:23 PM

It flows perfectly and provides a good overview. Only 1 question pops into my mind? Why don't X-Corps bases have an armory?

In addition, 1 month is too little. If you don't want to intercept UFOs for the first month, should you sell you cannons, launchers and ammunition? Probably not. "...expected to be scheduled for sale within a period of 2 months"...maybe?

I intended the one month it as a sutble hint to new players. The exact period or wording isn't critical (I think.)

I suspect the reason X-COM didn't have an armory is because it would have required yet another base facility. I did try to explain that the X-CORP uses special fire/blast resistant containers to allow munitions to be safely stored in a "Conventional" warehouse, but I guess that kind of got lost.

Edited by dteviot, 05 August 2006 - 06:26 PM.

Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#60 kafros

kafros

    Creative Text Department

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 1,800 posts

Posted 06 August 2006 - 02:47 AM

I intended the one month it as a sutble hint to new players. The exact period or wording isn't critical (I think.)

Hint? :)

I suspect the reason X-COM didn't have an armory is because it would have required yet another base facility. I did try to explain that the X-CORP uses special fire/blast resistant containers to allow munitions to be safely stored in a "Conventional" warehouse, but I guess that kind of got lost.

Not at all. I just ain't sure what the following sentence means: "...the interior walls between the storage facility and the rest of the facility are...". I guess the second "facility" should be "base".

Edited by kafros, 06 August 2006 - 02:52 AM.


#61 dteviot

dteviot

    Programming Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,479 posts

Posted 10 September 2006 - 11:41 PM

STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the storage facility (SF) is used for storing items that are not needed currently but are expected to be utilized in the near future. Operating staff are reminded of General Accounting Office (GAO) Directive XC-1273.c “To minimise base storage requirements and defray operating costs, items that are not expected to be used within 2 months must be sold.”

With the exceptions of vehicles and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store all items used by an operational base. X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armoury or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions, which are potential fire or explosion hazzards.

The basic design of a storage facility is similar to a conventional warehouse. A large open space, filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant containers. Unfortunately, the considerable size of these units results in a siginificant reducution in the amount of material that can be stored in a SF compared to an equivalently sized conventional warehouse.

Because of the presence of explosives, the interior walls between the storage facility and the rest of the base are heavily reinforced using carbon/carbon composites. Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are provided to channel the blast from an uncontrolled munitions detonation out of the base.

To further increase safety the facility is equipped with a very sensitive fast response fire suppression system, similar to that used in aircraft hangers, capable of completely filling the entire facility with fire-fighting foam within 30 seconds of activation. Consequently, personnel present in this facility must keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A research project to increase the capacity using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype had problems distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Realization that the enormous cost of the S&R system made it more cost effective to increase a base’s capacity by adding additional storage facilities resulted in the termination of the project.

GAO Directive XC-1271 requires the X-Corp commander to order every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF. A computerized system with direct connection to the X-Net has been provided to allow the X-Corp commander efficient management of the base's stocks.

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!"

Edited by dteviot, 10 September 2006 - 11:42 PM.

Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#62 Ghost5831

Ghost5831

    Sergeant

  • Xenocide Recruit
  • 44 posts

Posted 12 September 2006 - 01:02 PM

Im not gonna look over the text completely cos u guys have it covered but just a comment - When writing numbers, never use the actual number form unless in a math solution e.g 2+2=4 if you are writing an essay passage then you should always use the word form...You guys would laugh at the amount of times ive been told off because of that :)
Your Spoon is no match for my Sniper Rifle

#63 Zombie

Zombie

    Colonel

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 2,947 posts

Posted 12 September 2006 - 05:37 PM

I'll take a look at this text tonight. Looks good so far, dteviot! :)

- Zombie

Edited by Zombie, 12 September 2006 - 05:39 PM.

The Mr. Grognard of X-COM

Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.
A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.
A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.
They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,
of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!


#64 kafros

kafros

    Creative Text Department

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 1,800 posts

Posted 20 September 2006 - 02:39 PM

I'll give it a try if you don't mind :). Just minor corrections and a rephrasing

------------------------------

STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the storage facility (SF) is used for storing items that are not needed currently but are expected to be utilized in the near future. Operating staff are reminded of General Accounting Office (GAO) Directive XC-1273.c “To minimize base storage requirements and defray operating costs, items that are not expected to be used within two (2) months must be sold.”

With the exceptions of vehicles and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store all items used by an operational base. X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armory or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions, which are potential fire or explosion hazards.

The basic design of a storage facility is similar to a conventional warehouse. A large open space, filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant containers. Unfortunately, the considerable size of these units results in a significant reduction in storable material, compared to an conventional warehouse of equivalent dimensions.

Because of the presence of explosives, the interior walls between the storage facility and the rest of the base are heavily reinforced using carbon-carbon composites. Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are provided to channel the blast from an uncontrolled munitions detonation out of the base.

To further increase safety, the facility is equipped with a very sensitive fast response fire suppression system, similar to that used in aircraft hangers, capable of completely filling the entire facility with fire-fighting foam within thirty seconds of activation. Consequently, personnel present in this facility must keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A research project to increase the capacity by using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype had problems distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Realization that the enormous cost of the S&R system made it more cost effective to increase a base’s capacity by adding additional storage facilities resulted in the termination of the project.

GAO Directive XC-1271 requires the X-Corp commander to order every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF. A computerized system with direct connection to the X-Net has been provided to allow the X-Corp commander efficient management of the base's stocks.

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!" – John Newman, stock keeper

#65 dteviot

dteviot

    Programming Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,479 posts

Posted 20 September 2006 - 02:51 PM

I'm going to suggest that as the only real changes made to this in the last month are basically minor grammar/spelling, it's time to call it done and pass it on to proofing.
Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#66 j'ordos

j'ordos

    Alien Concept Task Force

  • Xenocide Artwork Department
  • 5,059 posts

Posted 20 September 2006 - 04:02 PM

compared to an conventional warehouse of equivalent dimensions.

compared to an a conventional warehouse of equivalent dimensions.

Edited by j'ordos, 20 September 2006 - 04:03 PM.

"You can't trust your eyes if your imagination's out of focus" - Mark Twain
"The mind is like an umbrella, it functions best when open" - Walter Gropius
Posted Image
SNEKK BLOG U-LAR MEKHH! GAHGHH! RK!
GRRGH RGGHH SNORRTT GHACKHGG

Now presented in DoubleVision™ (where drunk)

#67 kafros

kafros

    Creative Text Department

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 1,800 posts

Posted 21 September 2006 - 12:43 PM

Ok ok jordos, kill me :P. Actually, I did the same thing to poor dteviot... oops! ^_^

Actually, dteviot is right. Let's leave the work to the proofreading team. If you like the change I made to paragraph 3 and there isn't anything major to change, let's stamp it as complete for now, what do you think?

#68 Zombie

Zombie

    Colonel

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 2,947 posts

Posted 23 September 2006 - 11:02 PM

My normal editing scheme: blue for additions, purple for proposed revisions and strikethroughs for deletions.

STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the storage facility (SF) is used for storing items that are not needed currently but are expected to be utilized in the near future. Operating staff are reminded of General Accounting Office (GAO) Directive XC-1273.c “To minimize base storage requirements and defray operating costs, items that are not expected to be used within two (2) months must be sold.”

With the exceptions of vehicles and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store all items used by an operational base. X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armory or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions, which are potential fire or explosion hazards.

The basic design of a storage facility is similar to a conventional warehouse. A large open space, filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant containers vaults. Unfortunately, the considerable size of these units results in a significant reduction in storable material, compared to a conventional warehouse traditional facility of equivalent dimensions.

Because of the presence of explosives, the interior walls between the storage facility and the rest of the base are heavily reinforced using carbon-carbon composites. Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are provided to channel the blast from an uncontrolled munitions detonation out of the base.

To further increase safety, the facility is equipped with a very sensitive fast response fire suppression system, similar to that used in aircraft hangers, capable of completely filling the entire facility with fire-fighting foam within thirty seconds of activation. Consequently, personnel present in this facility must keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A research project to increase the capacity by using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype had problems distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Enormous budget overruns of the S&R system resulted in termination of the project since it is more cost effective to increase a base’s storage capacity by adding additional facilities and utilizing readily available shelving and locker technology.

GAO Directive XC-1271 requires the X-Corp commander to order every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF. A computerized system with direct connection to the X-Net has been provided to allow the X-Corp commander efficient management of the base's stocks.

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!" – John Newman, stock keeper.

I tried to cut down on the useage of "conventional warehouse" and "containers" in paragraph 3 and reworded the last sentence in paragraph 6 if that's ok. ;)

- Zombie

Edited by Zombie, 23 September 2006 - 11:05 PM.

The Mr. Grognard of X-COM

Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.
A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.
A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.
They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,
of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!


#69 j'ordos

j'ordos

    Alien Concept Task Force

  • Xenocide Artwork Department
  • 5,059 posts

Posted 24 September 2006 - 03:49 AM

Ok ok jordos, kill me :P

j'ordos :P
"You can't trust your eyes if your imagination's out of focus" - Mark Twain
"The mind is like an umbrella, it functions best when open" - Walter Gropius
Posted Image
SNEKK BLOG U-LAR MEKHH! GAHGHH! RK!
GRRGH RGGHH SNORRTT GHACKHGG

Now presented in DoubleVision™ (where drunk)

#70 kafros

kafros

    Creative Text Department

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 1,800 posts

Posted 24 September 2006 - 03:58 AM

[all-together-now]j'ordos![/all-together-now] :P

#71 Astyanax

Astyanax

    Xnet Proof Task Force

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 785 posts

Posted 24 September 2006 - 11:53 AM

Comments in italicized green, suggestion in blue.

STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the storage facility (SF) is used for storing items that are not needed currently but are expected to be utilized in the near future. Operating staff are reminded of General Accounting Office (GAO) Directive XC-1273.c “To minimize base storage requirements and defray operating costs, items that are not expected to be used within two (2) months must be sold.”

With the exception of vehicles and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store all items used by an operational base. X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armory or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions, which are potential fire or explosion hazards.

The basic design of a storage facility is similar to a conventional warehouse, being a large open space filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant vaults. Unfortunately, the considerable size of these units results in a significant reduction in storable material, compared to a traditional facility of equivalent dimensions.

This last sentence is a bit strange; it's comparing the size of units to traditional facilities. Maybe: "Unfortunately, the considerable size of these units prevents the X-Corps SF from storing as much as a traditional facility of equivalent dimensions."

Because of Due to? the presence of explosives, the interior walls between the storage facility and the rest of the base are heavily reinforced using carbon-carbon composites. Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are provided to channel the blast from an uncontrolled munitions detonation out of the base.

This last paragraph has good ideas, but it's a little weird because it starts off talking about the SF, then the rest of the base, then back to the SF. If I'm reading this correctly, only the SF has the blast panels? If I'm wrong, ignore this. :) Perhaps it could be improved by switching things around? Something like: "Due to the presence of explosives, the interior walls of the SF have been fitted with sacrificial blast panels to channel the force from accidental munitions detonations out of the base. In addition, the walls of all base facilities have been heavily reinforced with carbon-carbon composites to protect against ...."

If all the base facilities are fitted with blast panels, then maybe this could work: "Due to the presence of explosives, the walls of all base facilities have been heavily reinforced with carbon-carbon composites and fitted with sacrificial blast panels to channel the force from accidental munitions detonations out of the base."

To further increase safety, the facility is equipped with a very sensitive fast an instant response fire suppression system, similar to that used in aircraft hangars, capable of completely filling the entire facility storage area? with fire-fighting flame retardant? foam within thirty seconds of activation. Consequently, personnel present in this facility must keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A research project to increase the capacity by using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype had problems distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Enormous budget overruns of the S&R system resulted in termination of the project since it is more cost effective to increase a base’s storage capacity by adding additional facilities and utilizing readily available shelving and locker technology.

Maybe change this last sentence to: "The presence of such flaws and enormous budget overruns caused S&R development to be terminated, resulting in the use/implementation of the more cost-effective and readily available shelving and locker technology in X-Corps storage facilities."

GAO Directive XC-1271 requires the X-Corp commander to order personally sign off every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF. A computerized system with direct connection access to the X-Net has been provided to allow enable? the X-Corp commander efficient management of the base's stocks.

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!" – John Newman, stock keeper.

This is a very nice text. Sorry for all the colors, but whenever I go through texts, I end up writing a whole lot more than I thought I would. :)

Edited by Astyanax, 24 September 2006 - 11:55 AM.

EXCLUSIVE: Read the top-secret Creative Text Department Status Report by the Xenocide Internal Investigation Department!

#72 red knight

red knight

    Xenocide Project Leader

  • Xenocide Inactive
  • 3,310 posts

Posted 24 September 2006 - 01:45 PM

Sorry guys, I think that this text do not fit... The space of the facility really would clutter the entire base and wont be able to fit in the required place.

I would go the road that the 1st level facility has an automated retrieving system that bring things back from the Nth non accesible underground levels (that are accesible only for mainteinance). And only XCorp queued stuff is in the warehouse accesible level until operatives come to take it :).

What do you think?

Greetings
Red Knight
Sourceforge Nick: flois - Federico Andres Lois
Visit my blog at: flois.blogspot.com

Posted Image

Pookie cover me, I am going in.

#73 Astyanax

Astyanax

    Xnet Proof Task Force

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 785 posts

Posted 24 September 2006 - 04:43 PM

Hmm... I think the previous issue was that our earlier version of the CT didn't match the AWD model, which is why the text was rewritten. I don't think the model lends itself to too many alternate explanations, otherwise I'd be all for a more innovative storage technique. The AWD model is here. Of course, if the AWD wants to create a new model... :D

Anyway, perhaps the underground storage idea could work, but it might be a bit of a stretch. Maybe those shelves are actually a bunch of freight elevators or something?

EDIT- Here's a pic of the storage facility pilfered from Moriarty's previous post: :blink2:
Posted Image

Edited by Astyanax, 24 September 2006 - 04:57 PM.

EXCLUSIVE: Read the top-secret Creative Text Department Status Report by the Xenocide Internal Investigation Department!

#74 dteviot

dteviot

    Programming Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,479 posts

Posted 24 September 2006 - 09:05 PM

Sorry guys, I think that this text do not fit... The space of the facility really would clutter the entire base and wont be able to fit in the required place.

I would go the road that the 1st level facility has an automated retrieving system that bring things back from the Nth non accesible underground levels (that are accesible only for mainteinance). And only XCorp queued stuff is in the warehouse accesible level until operatives come to take it :).

What do you think?

Greetings
Red Knight

I don't see why there would be additional levels, as it is, the SF is 20 meters by 20 meters, but can hold only 500 pistols. (Assuming that's all that's in there.) So I needed to explain why there is so LITTLE stuff in a SF.
Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#75 kafros

kafros

    Creative Text Department

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 1,800 posts

Posted 25 September 2006 - 02:03 AM

Sorry guys, I think that this text do not fit... The space of the facility really would clutter the entire base and wont be able to fit in the required place.

Why? By reading the text I get the feeling that it is a large as any other facility. It doesn't need extraordinary space to keep stuff, as it is well organised.

I would go the road that the 1st level facility has an automated retrieving system that bring things back from the Nth non accesible underground levels (that are accesible only for mainteinance). And only XCorp queued stuff is in the warehouse accesible level until operatives come to take it :).

Nice idea that would save us a lot of trouble. But, there are 2 problems:
1) It's inconsistent with the existing AWD model, as Asty has already mentioned. That means, the CTD can't do anything about it. Vaaish always wants us to work on existing models due to the lack of free time of the AWD members. You can't blame them really.
2) If this facility could work underground, then why is there a limit in the items stored? You could make 10+ underground levels and store... a skyranger in pieces ^^! I guess there would also be a limit in the length of the automated robot... But then, couldn't they add a another robot every 1-2 floors, so that the lower robots hand stuff to the upper ones? "hand-2-hand", if you get my point.

So I needed to explain why there is so LITTLE stuff in a SF.

Reinforced walls/containers and limited avalable space?

Edit: Just have a look at posts 20 through 27...

http://www.xcomufo.c...=...st&p=122022

http://www.xcomufo.c...=...st&p=151822

Edited by kafros, 25 September 2006 - 02:14 AM.


#76 dteviot

dteviot

    Programming Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,479 posts

Posted 12 October 2006 - 01:24 PM

Comments in italicized green, suggestion in blue.

STORAGE FACILITY
GAO Directive XC-1271 requires the X-Corp commander to order personally sign off every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF. A computerized system with direct connection access to the X-Net has been provided to allow enable? the X-Corp commander efficient management of the base's stocks.


Nope, the commander (player) has to ORDER everything. If we had some sort of "logicstics officer" that after each mission totalled up the expended materials and then put in a purchase request for replacements (that the player could modify) for the player to approve THEN "sign off" would be correct.

Edited by dteviot, 12 October 2006 - 01:25 PM.

Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#77 Astyanax

Astyanax

    Xnet Proof Task Force

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 785 posts

Posted 12 October 2006 - 09:19 PM

Nope, the commander (player) has to ORDER everything. If we had some sort of "logicstics officer" that after each mission totalled up the expended materials and then put in a purchase request for replacements (that the player could modify) for the player to approve THEN "sign off" would be correct.

Really? Wow, that sounds quite... inefficient, at least compared to existing hierarchies. Still, it does accurately describe what's happening in the game, so I guess it's ok.
EXCLUSIVE: Read the top-secret Creative Text Department Status Report by the Xenocide Internal Investigation Department!

#78 Mad

Mad

    Creative Text Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,958 posts

Posted 19 October 2006 - 02:28 AM

So, what do we do about this issue? Of course (almost) everyone would prefer RK's solution, but I don't see it happening with this model. And dteviot is right: the SF can't hold too many items. So Why not stick with the current idea? RK? If you don't veto (and speak to AWD about the model... ;) ) I would ask dteviot to prepare another draft.
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image

#79 dteviot

dteviot

    Programming Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,479 posts

Posted 20 October 2006 - 07:00 PM

Assuming that the AWD does not do a new model, I've provided an update.
Obviously, it's mostly just integrating Astyanax's comments, but I've fleshed out the Storage and Retrevial story.
(I'm trying to hint that a more efficient, but expensive, SF may become available in the future, say post 1.0)

STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the storage facility (SF) is used for storing items that are not needed currently but are expected to be utilized in the near future. Operating staff are reminded of General Accounting Office (GAO) Directive XC-1273.c “To minimize base storage requirements and defray operating costs, items that are not expected to be used within two (2) months must be sold.”

With the exception of vehicles and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store all items used by an operational base. X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armoury or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions, which are potential fire or explosion hazards.

The basic design of the SF is similar to a conventional warehouse, being a large open space filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant vaults. Unfortunately, the considerable size of these vaults prevents the SF from storing as much as a conventional warehouse of equivalent dimensions.

Due to the presence of explosives, the interior walls between the SF and the rest of the base are heavily reinforced using carbon-carbon composites. Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are incorporated in the SF’s ceiling, to channel the force from any accidental munitions detonation out of the base.

To further increase safety, the SF is equipped with a fire suppression system similar to that used in aircraft hangars, capable of completely filling the entire facility with flame retardant foam within thirty seconds of activation. Consequently, personnel present in a SF must keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A DARPA funded research project to increase the capacity by using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype had problems distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Research in this area was officially terminated when, due to enormous budget overruns, the GAO became aware of the project and determined that using readily available shelving and locker technology was vastly more cost-effective. Note. Rumours persist that DARPA is still researching this technology, for applications where space is more critical than cost.

GAO Directive XC-1271 requires the X-Corp commander to personally arrange every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF. A computerized system with direct access to X-Net has been provided to facilitate the X-Corp commander’s efficient management of the base's stocks.

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!" – John Newman, stock keeper.


Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#80 Mad

Mad

    Creative Text Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,958 posts

Posted 22 October 2006 - 09:46 PM

Good read! :) Let's have a look


STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the storage facility (SF) is used for storing items that are not needed currently but are expected to be utilized in the near future. Operating staff are reminded of General Accounting Office (GAO) Directive XC-1273.c “To minimize base storage requirements and defray operating costs, items that are not expected to be used within two (2) months must be sold.”

X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armoury or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions, which are potential fire or explosion hazards. With the exception of vehicles and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store all items used by an operational base. X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armoury or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions, which are potential fire or explosion hazards.
(I would suggest to swap those sentences. And as I remember vehicles (XCAPs!) are stored in the SF)
The basic design of the SF is similar to a conventional warehouse, being a large open space filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant vaults. Unfortunately, the considerable size of these vaults prevents the SF from storing as much as a conventional warehouse of equivalent dimensions.

Due to the presence of explosives, the interior walls between the SF and the rest of the base of the SF are heavily reinforced using carbon-carbon composites. Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are incorporated in the SF’s ceiling, to channel the force from any accidental munitions detonation out of the base.

To further increase safety, the SF is equipped with a fire suppression system similar to that used in aircraft hangars has been installed, capable of completely filling the entire facility with flame retardant foam within thirty seconds of activation. Consequently, personnel present in a SF must are to keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A DARPA funded research project to increase the capacity by using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype had problems distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Research in this area was officially terminated when, due to enormous budget overruns, the GAO became aware of the project and determined that using readily available shelving and locker technology was vastly more cost-effective. Note. Rumours persist that DARPA is still researching this technology, for applications where space is more critical than cost.

GAO Directive XC-1271 requires the X-Corp commander to personally arrange every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF. A computerized system with direct access to X-Net has been provided to facilitate the X-Corp commander’s efficient management of the base's stocks.

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!" – John Newman, stock keeper.


Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image

#81 dteviot

dteviot

    Programming Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,479 posts

Posted 23 October 2006 - 12:43 PM

X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armoury or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions, which are potential fire or explosion hazards. With the exception of vehicles and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store all items used by an operational base. X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armoury or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions, which are potential fire or explosion hazards.
(I would suggest to swap those sentences. And as I remember vehicles (XCAPs!) are stored in the SF)


With the exception of vehiclesaircraft and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store all items used by an operational base.
Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#82 Mad

Mad

    Creative Text Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,958 posts

Posted 23 October 2006 - 08:37 PM

With the exception of vehiclesaircraft and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store all items used by an operational base.

Sounds good to me, though I think some funny people might say: "Of course! Who would even think of not storing an aircraft in a SF. Good that they told me, I would've tried for ages..." :)
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image

#83 Astyanax

Astyanax

    Xnet Proof Task Force

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 785 posts

Posted 23 October 2006 - 11:11 PM


With the exception of vehiclesaircraft and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store all items used by an operational base.

Sounds good to me, though I think some funny people might say: "Of course! Who would even think of not storing an aircraft in a SF. Good that they told me, I would've tried for ages..." :)

Hehe, can you imagine us trying to convince the art folks to render an airplane for the storage facility? :P

On a side note, aircraft are a type of vehicle, but not all vehicles are aircraft; "vehicle" is the more general term. Dunno if that clarifies things, though. :)
EXCLUSIVE: Read the top-secret Creative Text Department Status Report by the Xenocide Internal Investigation Department!

#84 Mad

Mad

    Creative Text Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,958 posts

Posted 08 November 2006 - 04:42 AM

So, dteviot? Could you prepare a new draft (and hopefully that will be the last one. :) )
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image

#85 dteviot

dteviot

    Programming Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,479 posts

Posted 08 November 2006 - 10:22 PM

STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the storage facility (SF) is used for storing items that are not needed currently but are expected to be utilized in the near future. Operating staff are reminded of General Accounting Office (GAO) Directive XC-1273.c “To minimize base storage requirements and defray operating costs, items that are not expected to be used within two (2) months must be sold.”

With the exception of aircraft and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store all items used by an operational base. Note. X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armoury or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions, which are potential fire or explosion hazards.

The basic design of the SF is similar to a conventional warehouse, being a large open space filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant vaults. Unfortunately, the considerable size of these vaults prevents the SF from storing as much as a conventional warehouse of equivalent dimensions.

Due to the presence of explosives, the interior walls between the SF and the rest of the base are heavily reinforced using carbon-carbon composites. Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are incorporated in the ceiling, to channel the force from any accidental munitions detonation out of the base.

To further increase safety, the SF is equipped with a fire suppression system similar to that used in aircraft hangars, capable of completely filling the entire facility with flame retardant foam within thirty seconds of activation. Consequently, personnel present in a SF are to keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A DARPA funded research project to increase the capacity by using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype had problems distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Research in this area was officially terminated when, due to enormous budget overruns, the GAO became aware of the project and determined that using readily available shelving and locker technology was vastly more cost-effective. Note. Rumours persist that DARPA is still researching this technology, for applications where space is more critical than cost.

GAO Directive XC-1271 requires the X-Corp commander to personally arrange every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF. A computerized system with direct access to X-Net has been provided to facilitate the X-Corp commander’s efficient management of the base's stocks.

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!" – John Newman, stock keeper.
Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#86 Mad

Mad

    Creative Text Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,958 posts

Posted 10 November 2006 - 11:36 AM

If you don't object with my changes dteviot, this goes to proofreading! Very good job! Completed from my POV =b

STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the storage facility (SF) is used for storing items that are not needed currently but are expected to be utilized in the near future. Operating staff are reminded of General Accounting Office (GAO) Directive XC-1273.c “To minimize base storage requirements and defray operating costs, items that are not expected to be used within two (2) months must be sold.”

With the exception of aircraft and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store all items used repeated use of "used" - I would suggest "needed"by an operational base. Note. X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armoury or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions, which are potential fire or explosion hazards.

The basic design of the SF is similar to a conventional warehouse, being a large open space filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant vaults. Unfortunately, the considerable size of these vaults prevents the SF from storing as much items as a conventional warehouse of equivalent dimensions.

Due to the presence of explosives, the interior walls between the SF and the rest of the base are heavily reinforced using carbon-carbon composites. Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are incorporated in the ceiling, to channel the force from any accidental munitions detonation out of the base.

To further increase safety, the SF is equipped with a fire suppression system similar to that used in aircraft hangars, capable of completely filling the entire facility with flame retardant foam within thirty seconds of activation. Consequently, personnel present in a SF are to keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A DARPA funded research project to increase the capacity by using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype had problems distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Research in this area was officially terminated when, due to enormous budget overruns, the GAO became aware of the project and determined that using readily available shelving and locker technology was vastly more cost-effective. Note. Rumours persist that DARPA is still researching this technology, for applications where space is more critical than cost.

GAO Directive XC-1271 requires the X-Corp commander to personally arrange every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF. A computerized system with direct access to X-Net has been provided to facilitate the X-Corp commander’s efficient management of the base's stocks.

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!" – John Newman, stock keeper.


Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image

#87 dteviot

dteviot

    Programming Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,479 posts

Posted 12 November 2006 - 08:18 PM

If you don't object with my changes dteviot, this goes to proofreading! Very good job! Completed from my POV =b

Go ahead
Saving the world from the scum of the universe is hard work. Especially when you have to create the scum to begin with.

#88 Astyanax

Astyanax

    Xnet Proof Task Force

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 785 posts

Posted 13 February 2007 - 06:36 PM

(cracks knuckles) It's been a while... :P

- changed British spelling to American spelling
- changed wording to "houses" to reduce repetition of "uses"
- deleted "interior" since it's redundant; "interior walls" and "walls between the SF and the rest of the base" mean the same thing
- changed "entire facility" to "storage area" to reduce confusion with entire base
- spelled out DARPA acronym for those unfamiliar with the term

Otherwise, looks great!

STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the storage facility (SF) is used for storing items that are not needed currently but are expected to be utilized in the near future. Operating staff are reminded of General Accounting Office (GAO) Directive XC-1273.c “To minimize base storage requirements and defray operating costs, items that are not expected to be used within two (2) months must be sold.”

With the exception of aircraft and xenobiological specimens, the SF is used to store houses all items used repeated use of "used" - I would suggest "needed"by an operational base. Note. X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armory or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions, which are potential fire or explosion hazards.

The basic design of the SF is similar to a conventional warehouse, being a large open space filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant vaults. Unfortunately, the considerable size of these vaults prevents the SF from storing as much many items as a conventional warehouse of equivalent dimensions.

Due to the presence of explosives, the interior walls between the SF and the rest of the base are heavily reinforced using carbon-carbon composites. Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are incorporated in the ceiling, to channel the force from any accidental munitions detonation out of the base.

To further increase safety, the SF is equipped with a fire suppression system similar to that used in aircraft hangars, capable of completely filling the entire facility storage area with flame retardant foam within thirty seconds of activation. Consequently, personnel present in a SF are to keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) funded research project to increase the capacity by using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype had problems distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Research in this area was officially terminated when, due to enormous budget overruns, the GAO became aware of the project and determined that using readily available shelving and locker technology was vastly more cost-effective. Note. Rumors persist that DARPA is still researching this technology, for applications where space is more critical than cost.

GAO Directive XC-1271 requires the X-Corp commander to personally arrange every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF. A computerized system with direct access to X-Net has been provided to facilitate the X-Corp commander’s efficient management of the base's stocks.

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!" – John Newman, stock keeper.


Without annotations:

STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the storage facility (SF) is used for storing items that are not needed currently but are expected to be utilized in the near future. Operating staff are reminded of General Accounting Office (GAO) Directive XC-1273.c “To minimize base storage requirements and defray operating costs, items that are not expected to be used within two (2) months must be sold.”

With the exception of aircraft and xenobiological specimens, the SF houses all items used by an operational base. Note. X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armory or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions, which are potential fire or explosion hazards.

The basic design of the SF is similar to a conventional warehouse, being a large open space filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant vaults. Unfortunately, the considerable size of these vaults prevents the SF from storing as many items as a conventional warehouse of equivalent dimensions.

Due to the presence of explosives, the walls between the SF and the rest of the base are heavily reinforced using carbon-carbon composites. Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are incorporated in the ceiling, to channel the force from any accidental munitions detonation out of the base.

To further increase safety, the SF is equipped with a fire suppression system similar to that used in aircraft hangars, capable of completely filling the storage area with flame retardant foam within thirty seconds of activation. Consequently, personnel present in a SF are to keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) funded research project to increase the capacity by using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype had problems distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Research in this area was officially terminated when, due to enormous budget overruns, the GAO became aware of the project and determined that using readily available shelving and locker technology was vastly more cost-effective. Note. Rumors persist that DARPA is still researching this technology, for applications where space is more critical than cost.

GAO Directive XC-1271 requires the X-Corp commander to personally arrange every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF. A computerized system with direct access to X-Net has been provided to facilitate the X-Corp commander’s efficient management of the base's stocks.

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!" – John Newman, stock keeper.


Edited by Astyanax, 13 February 2007 - 06:38 PM.

EXCLUSIVE: Read the top-secret Creative Text Department Status Report by the Xenocide Internal Investigation Department!

#89 Mad

Mad

    Creative Text Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,958 posts

Posted 15 February 2007 - 01:45 PM

(cracks knuckles) It's been a while... :P

- changed British spelling to American spelling
- changed wording to "houses" to reduce repetition of "uses"
- deleted "interior" since it's redundant; "interior walls" and "walls between the SF and the rest of the base" mean the same thing
- changed "entire facility" to "storage area" to reduce confusion with entire base
- spelled out DARPA acronym for those unfamiliar with the term

agreed to 1, 2 and 5.
ad3) Not so sure about this. Agreed to it being redundant in its current form, however, I think the idea was, that the carbon plates are mounted on the inside and not on the outside. :) So how do we formulate this?
ad4) I would suggest to keep the "entire" -> entire storage area
What do you think?
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image

#90 Astyanax

Astyanax

    Xnet Proof Task Force

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 785 posts

Posted 16 February 2007 - 10:08 PM


(cracks knuckles) It's been a while... :P

- changed British spelling to American spelling
- changed wording to "houses" to reduce repetition of "uses"
- deleted "interior" since it's redundant; "interior walls" and "walls between the SF and the rest of the base" mean the same thing
- changed "entire facility" to "storage area" to reduce confusion with entire base
- spelled out DARPA acronym for those unfamiliar with the term

agreed to 1, 2 and 5.
ad3) Not so sure about this. Agreed to it being redundant in its current form, however, I think the idea was, that the carbon plates are mounted on the inside and not on the outside. :) So how do we formulate this?
ad4) I would suggest to keep the "entire" -> entire storage area
What do you think?

No issues with me. I'm trying to tone down my "correction" of minor things (such as #3 and #4), but it seems my filter needs a little more recalibration... :/
EXCLUSIVE: Read the top-secret Creative Text Department Status Report by the Xenocide Internal Investigation Department!

#91 Mad

Mad

    Creative Text Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,958 posts

Posted 27 February 2007 - 11:26 AM

Ok, so asty you want to post another version? :)
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image

#92 Astyanax

Astyanax

    Xnet Proof Task Force

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 785 posts

Posted 27 June 2007 - 11:44 AM

My computer is having a bit of trouble with apostrophes and hyphens (it's showing garbage characters... probably has to do something with East Asian fonts I set up a while ago...), so check to make sure the apostrophes and hyphens are ok in the text.

ad3) Not so sure about this. Agreed to it being redundant in its current form, however, I think the idea was, that the carbon plates are mounted on the inside and not on the outside. :) So how do we formulate this? --> done; could alternatively be: "...the interior walls of the SF are lined with heavily-reinforced carbon-carbon composites..." Not quite the same meaning... perhaps use "inner" instead of "interior"?
ad4) I would suggest to keep the "entire" -> entire storage area --> done

How's this look?

STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the storage facility (SF) is used for storing items that are not needed currently but are expected to be utilized in the near future. Operating staff are reminded of General Accounting Office (GAO) Directive XC-1273.c ??‚??“To minimize base storage requirements and defray operating costs, items that are not expected to be used within two (2) months must be sold.??‚??

With the exception of aircraft and xenobiological specimens, the SF houses all items used by an operational base. Note. X-Corps bases, unlike typical military installations, lack a dedicated armory or magazine for the storage of weapons and munitions, which are potential fire or explosion hazards.

The basic design of the SF is similar to a conventional warehouse, being a large open space filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant vaults. Unfortunately, the considerable size of these vaults prevents the SF from storing as many items as a conventional warehouse of equivalent dimensions.

Due to the presence of explosives, the interior walls between the SF and the rest of the base of the SF are heavily reinforced using carbon-carbon composites. Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are incorporated in the ceiling, to channel the force from any accidental munitions detonation out of the base.

To further increase safety, the SF is equipped with a fire suppression system similar to that used in aircraft hangars, capable of completely filling the entire storage area with flame retardant foam within thirty seconds of activation. Consequently, personnel present in a SF are to keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) funded research project to increase the capacity by using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype had problems distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Research in this area was officially terminated when, due to enormous budget overruns, the GAO became aware of the project and determined that using readily available shelving and locker technology was vastly more cost-effective. Note. Rumors persist that DARPA is still researching this technology, for applications where space is more critical than cost.

GAO Directive XC-1271 requires the X-Corp commander to personally arrange every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF. A computerized system with direct access to X-Net has been provided to facilitate the X-Corp commander??‚??„?s efficient management of the base's stocks.

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!" ??‚??€œ John Newman, stock keeper.


Edited by Astyanax, 27 June 2007 - 11:46 AM.

EXCLUSIVE: Read the top-secret Creative Text Department Status Report by the Xenocide Internal Investigation Department!

#93 kafros

kafros

    Creative Text Department

  • Xenocide Creative-Text Departmen
  • 1,800 posts

Posted 06 October 2007 - 11:11 AM

STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the Storage Facility (SF) constitutes the main warehouse compound used for easy storage and retrieval of artefacts [comment: items?] and equipment. The basic design of the SF is similar to a conventional warehouse, being a large open space filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant vaults for increased security, although their bulk volume significantly lowers the active storage volume [comment: capacity?] of the facility. Unfortunately, the considerable size of these vaults prevents the SF from storing as many items as a conventional warehouse of equivalent dimensions.

Due to the presence of explosives, the interior walls of the SF facility's inner surface is heavily reinforced with carbon-carbon composites. Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are incorporated in the ceiling, to channel the force from any accidental -but improbable- munitions detonation out of the base. [comment: How can this be done? I though the X-Corps base was 10m underground]

To further increase safety, the SF is equipped with a fire suppression system similar to that used in aircraft hangars, capable of completely filling the entire storage area with flame retardant foam within thirty seconds of activation. Consequently, personnel present in a SF are to keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) funded research project to increase the capacity by using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype failed in distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Research in this area was officially terminated when, due to enormous budget overruns, the GAO became aware of the project and determined it was determined that using readily available shelving and locker technology was vastly more cost-effective. Note. Rumors persist that DARPA is still researching this technology, for applications where space is more critical than cost.

GAO Directive XC-1271 requires The X-Corp commander is required to personally arrange every purchase, sale, transfer and/or issue of equipment to or from a SF and equipment portage. A computerized system with direct access to X-Net has been provided to facilitate the X-Corp commander's efficient management of the base's stocks. stock management procedures.

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!"
- John Newman, stock keeper.


This "GAO directive" idea is very nice but is not in harmony with the general writting style of the CTD. I think it should be saved by including a reference/description of it in the Funding CT, what do you think?


#94 Mad

Mad

    Creative Text Department

  • [Xenocide Senior Members]
  • 1,958 posts

Posted 08 October 2007 - 01:57 AM

A good draft, though your style is gets more complex every time. I wonder if it might not get too complicated for not-native speakers with limited english language knowledge. But for now it's ok i guess. :)

STORAGE FACILITY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Storage Facility

As its name implies, the Storage Facility (SF) constitutes that word is nice, but might in this context be a bit too "difficult" for some readers; maybe a profane "is" would do just fine? the main warehouse compound used for easy storage and retrieval of artefacts I like artefacts. and equipment. The basic design of the SF is similar to a conventional warehouse, being a large open space filled with racks and shelves for holding items in standardized containers. Ammunition and explosives are stored in specialized blast and fire resistant vaults for increased security, although their bulk volume significantly lowers the active storage volume of the facility.

Due to the presence of explosives, the facility's inner surface is heavily reinforced with carbon-carbon composites.carbon-carbon? Why not just carbon? Additionally, sacrificial blast panels are incorporated in the ceiling, to channel the force from any accidental -but improbable- don't like it - of course it's improbable, but I don't see a reason in mentioning it, since it disturbs the textflow from my POV. munitions detonation out of the base. [comment: How can this be done? I though the X-Corps base was 10m underground] I think this is ok, you could build a shaft to channel the explosive force. If it has blast doors on the inner and outer end of the shaft, and green planted on it, we have no difficulty in saying the aliens won't use it as a way of in trusion into the base.
To further increase safety, the SF is equipped with a fire suppression system similar to that used in aircraft hangars, capable of completely filling the entire storage area with flame retardant foam within (during? in a matter of seconds" - to avoid the double "with") thirty seconds of after? activation. Consequently, personnel present in a SF are to keep oxygen masks with them at all times.

A Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) funded research project to increase capacity by using ceiling mounted storage with an automated store and retrieval (S&R) system was unsuccessful. The prototype failed in distinguishing between personnel and large items, with unfortunate results during commissioning tests. Research in this area was officially terminated when, due to enormous budget overruns, it was determined that using readily available shelving and locker technology was vastly more cost-effective. Note. Rumors persist that DARPA is still researching this technology, for applications where space is more critical than cost.

The X-Corp commander is required to personally arrange every purchase, sale and equipment portage. A computerized system with direct access to X-Net has been provided to facilitate stock management procedures. Very nice rewording

"Remember when we found a rubber bunny stuck inside that rocket launcher? Imagine your target's surprise when his impending doom goes *squeak*. Now that'd be worth seeing!"
- John Newman, stock keeper.


This "GAO directive" idea is very nice but is not in harmony with the general writting style of the CTD. I think it should be saved by including a reference/description of it in the Funding CT, what do you think?


Sounds like a good idea - shouldn't be too much effort to put it in the Funding CT. But I agree, we haven't used much citation of "laws" in the other CTs, so maybe we should keep it out of this as well.
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image