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#1 coolp

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Posted 25 November 2003 - 07:36 PM

Here it is...

************************************************************
"Who else wants a ride up the tractor beam?"~Dr. Zacov, Newly Hired X-Corps Scientist.

Roswell. Area 51. "The Grey Men". All deemed conspiracy theories for years. The abductees were shunned, laughed at, and in some cases put in insane asylums. It appears their stories were all true. The Abductor UFO has one purpose: to kidnap and experiment on humans, and erase their memory of the experience when returned to Earth. This UFO would be just like any other, except for the horrors within.

Even battle-hardened soldiers shake at the sight of this ship's interior. There were some abductees who returned to the surface, and they were the lucky ones...Others appeared to be part of horifying experiments. Some were mercifully dead when we found them, but some still lived in states unimaginable to a sane human mind. It appears that even the alien's technology was pushed to the limit to keep these poor souls alive for the extreme surgical procedures they underwent.

Inside the UFO are many horrible devices. The function of some we understand, others we don't want to understand for fear of what it may be used for. Vivisection of the living appears to occur, but rescued humans died prior to passing on any useful information. Perhaps the aliens have unknown medical or mental capabilities to sustain life in such conditions. We may never know the true motive behind these vivisections, but, in the words of Colonel Marks, "A good alien is a dead alien"

Other areas of the ship suggest a variety of unknown objectives the aliens might have. Our operatives have discovered various instruments and devices that have no apparent use, but might have been implanted in human subjects. We should try to coordinate with our civilian liasons to track down individuals claiming to have been abducted by aliens. Thorough examinations of these subjects might uncover some pattern to the abductions that will help us anticipate future attacks.

Further analysis of the abductor victims shows each had some sort of genetic disorder that would typically result in death later in life. Is this coincidence? Our medical examiners theorize that either these diseases were planted or enhanced by the aliens, or the victims were rejected from returning to earth because of them. Further study might lead us to a common thread, but we're drawing blanks right now.

[On the bottom of the UFO is what appears to be some type of tractor beam, used to pull up the abductees from their yards, their place of work, or the school they attend. This tractor beam pulls them into a small room, where presumably they are greeted by the "doctor".] We do not understand how to operate the device as of yet, so all X-Corps soldiers are to proceed with extreme caution around the device to avoid the same fate as Dr. Zacov.

"Dr. Fillwa, you and Dr. Connie are not to use the captured alien probes on yourselves again! Do I make myself clear?"
~~~X-Corps Commander, reprimanding Head Physicists Fillwa and Connie for improper use of captured equipment. ********************************************************************
EDIT:EDIT: Updated with Newest version

Edited by coolp, 07 December 2003 - 11:31 PM.


#2 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 25 November 2003 - 08:11 PM

Intrigueing. :)

Hmm, as far as I know, the only alien "hatchlings" are chryssalids. Perhaps you should just say that the humans are subjected to foul tortures onboard abuctors. Mention anal probes, whatever. Just no hatchlings. (Besides, those creep me out, especially after seeing alien one too many times. :))

Other than that, and some grammar changes, that looks pretty good! You may want to include what weapons it has, and its min-max crew.

Here is a fluff text I came up with just a few seconds ago. :) (Yours is probably better)

"While onboard, we discovered something horrible. A human stuck to the wall with some sort of goop, but that wasn't the worst of it, oh no. When we looked down at his legs, we noticed that instead of legs, this poor man had a tentacle! I put him out of his misery, and vowed to kill every greasy [floater] I see!" -Cpl. Alex Dupont

Or, on a lighter note :
"Dr. Brueno, you and Dr. Connie are not to use the captured anal probes on yourselves again! Do I make myself clear?"- X-Corps Commander, reprimanding Head Physicists Brueno and Connie for improper use of captured equipment.
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#3 coolp

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Posted 25 November 2003 - 08:19 PM

:alienlol: :alienlol: :alienlol: :alienlol:
Those are great!
Heres the new version, with only the quickie changes... I'll do the min/max and weapons etc when I have more time (I need to do my homework :zzzzz:
Without further adue...
***********************************************************
"Who else wants a ride up the tractor beam???"~Newly Hired [X-com] Scientist
Roswell. Area 51. "The Grey Men". All deemed conspiracy theories for years,
the abductees shunned, laughed at, and put in Insane Asylums. Boy were we wrong. The abductor UFO has one purpose: To abduct, experiment on, and erase the memory of, kill, or enslave unsuspecting humans. This UFO is circular, large, and has [3] floors. It would be just like any other UFO, except for the horrors withen.

Inside the abductor UFO are many horrible devices, for many different purposes, some we understand, some we cringe whenever we walk by, and some where we have no idea what it is for. Some of the more obvious devices are the assorted
scalples, the light in the operating room, and the operating table, which has a strange surface that sucks in any liquids dropped on it, presumably to speed up clean up after the experiments. We know for a fact that the aliens
will do an vivisection of a living person, which we know from the screaming person we found on the table while clearing the craft. That person had been driven completely insane from the operations, and was completely beyond help. All he could do was whimper and murmur about the tube...just before his chest burst open with Chrystallid [hatchlings]. Because of this [X-com] has adopted
the sorry policy of killing any alive people found in the middle of autopsy. Luckily this policy has yet to be put into action.

On the bottom of the UFO is a tractor beam, which is used to pull up the abductees from the yardswhere they are gardening, the place that they work, the school that they go to. This tractor beam pulls them to a small room, where presumably they are greeted by the "doctor". Because of this, all [X-com] soldiers are to proceed with extreme caution inside abductor UFOS.

"Dr. Brueno, you and Dr. Connie are not to use the captured anal probes on yourselves again! Do I make myself clear?"
~~~X-Corps Commander, reprimanding Head Physicists Brueno and Connie for improper use of captured equipment.

**********************************************************
The reason that it is lucky that the policy has not been put into effect yet is that it means that they didn't find any more vivisected people

Edited by coolp, 25 November 2003 - 08:23 PM.


#4 Cpt. Boxershorts

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Posted 25 November 2003 - 08:20 PM

Couple of points:

Dissection of a living creature is called vivesection (lit. live parts). Autopsy is only on dead creatures.

Take a look at the CTD for the Alien Examination Room for ideas.

nix the chest burster

Why has the policy of euthanizing victims not been put into effect? Why is it 'lucky'?

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#5 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 25 November 2003 - 08:24 PM

I think he was saying that fourtnately there have been very few living humans when Xcom got there. You have to have a victim to put out of their misery don't you? :)

As a replacement for the chryssalid larva, just say that some victims have had their organs flayed open, or removed. They can still be saved if you can find a replacement kidney in 5 minutes! :) Say that the people usually bleed out from grotesque wounds inflicted by the hideous aliens, so that is why X-Corps kills them, to end their suffering.

Edited by Cpl. Facehugger, 25 November 2003 - 08:25 PM.

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#6 Cpt. Boxershorts

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Posted 25 November 2003 - 08:35 PM

Ahhh...I get it. Might want to re-word it a bit for clarity...

How about this?

[X-Corps] Command has authorized immediate euthanasia of any abduction victims found with non-survivable wounds.  Fortunately, it is rare to find any these poor souls still alive, and our agents are rarely forced to carry out this order.


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#7 coolp

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Posted 25 November 2003 - 08:39 PM

***********************************************************
"Who else wants a ride up the tractor beam???"~Newly Hired [X-com] Scientist
Roswell. Area 51. "The Grey Men". All deemed conspiracy theories for years,
the abductees shunned, laughed at, and put in Insane Asylums. Boy were we wrong. The abductor UFO has one purpose: To abduct, experiment on, and erase the memory of, kill, or enslave unsuspecting humans. This UFO is circular, large, and has [3] floors. It would be just like any other UFO, except for the horrors withen.

Inside the abductor UFO are many horrible devices, for many different purposes, some we understand, some we cringe whenever we walk by, and some where we have no idea what it is for. Some of the more obvious devices are the assorted
scalples, the light in the operating room, and the operating table, which has a strange surface that sucks in any liquids dropped on it, presumably to speed up clean up after the experiments. We know for a fact that the aliens
will do an vivisection of a living person, which we know from the screaming person we found on the table while clearing the craft. That person had been driven completely insane from the operations, and was completely beyond help. All he could do was whimper and murmur about the tube...just before his chest burst open with Chrystallid [hatchlings]. [X-Corps] Command has authorized immediate euthanasia of any abduction victims found with non-survivable wounds. Fortunately, it is rare to find any these poor souls still alive, and our agents are rarely forced to carry out this sorry directive.


On the bottom of the UFO is a tractor beam, which is used to pull up the abductees from the yardswhere they are gardening, the place that they work, the school that they go to. This tractor beam pulls them to a small room, where presumably they are greeted by the "doctor". Because of this, all [X-com] soldiers are to proceed with extreme caution inside abductor UFOS.

"Dr. Brueno, you and Dr. Connie are not to use the captured anal probes on yourselves again! Do I make myself clear?"
~~~X-Corps Commander, reprimanding Head Physicists Brueno and Connie for improper use of captured equipment.

***********************************************************
Like that?

#8 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 25 November 2003 - 09:52 PM

I don't think Cpt. Boxershorts likes the chryssalid hatchlings (Seems to remind him of chestbursters. :))
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#9 coolp

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Posted 25 November 2003 - 10:14 PM

Should I take it out because its too scary or something? I thought that it helps make the aliens into a more evil enemy...

#10 Cpt. Boxershorts

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Posted 26 November 2003 - 12:00 AM

Maybe instead of a cryssilid ripping the victim apart, have something like an (insane) abducted woman curled up in the conrer cuddling the half-alien fetus that was just removed from her...the fetus then turns to look at the x-corps agents and hisses at them (or worse, reaches for one of the dead aliens, and says "Daddy...")

I don't have any object to scary...I just think that the alien spawn ripping its way out of the host body is so over used, it's lost its shock value.

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Edited by Cpt. Boxershorts, 26 November 2003 - 12:04 AM.

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#11 mikker

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Posted 26 November 2003 - 07:22 AM

(or worse, reaches for one of the dead aliens, and says "Daddy...")

worse? that sounded fun. sick, but fun :devillaugh:

yeah, take out the part about cryssalid hathlings. I just ate.

also, you might leave the more focus on the experimental device incertain, before you get any good ideas :) that what the examination room entry is for! you might take out the thing about the liquid-absorbing table. leave that to the exam. room entry.


also, you don't acturly get the stuff about the abductor by walking into one. you get it by capturing a engineer. But that could certainly be changed!

i like if there were added a "research reminder" after each crash site. if you have gotten some new weapns, then it could look like this:

New reasearch available!

Flooter autopusy
heavy plasma
heavy plasma clip
plasma pistol
plasma pistol clip
mind probe

or something. also, they could also come after a research is done, and another is unlocked.

Edited by mikker, 26 November 2003 - 07:38 AM.

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#12 Breunor

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Posted 26 November 2003 - 08:34 AM

I agree about removing the chrysallid part from this entry, only because it would be better suited for the alien examination room entry. They don't need to burst out of the chest, the larvae idea sound interesting. It would need to tie into how the chrysallid infects a civ in a terror site of course.

I hope you can understand why I'd prefer Dr. BREUNO®'s name to be changed for that entry... <_< Unless you reword it to something like, "Dr. Breuno, your detailed analysis of the alien probes does not require Dr. Famke to remove her clothing..." mmm, Famke... :wub: But that line should also go into the alien exam room entry.

I would leave out the physical description of the ufo until we have come up with a good tactical layout. It's likely we won't use anything like the original floorplans, which sucked. But so long as you don't describe the floorplan, other physical features are fine. Just be aware that the modellers might go for a different look, and force adjustments to the text later on.

#13 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 26 November 2003 - 09:15 AM

Ohh yeah! I didn't even realize that it was similar to your name! :)

But yeah, your fluff text is better. Except, I don't have any idea who Famke is. Is she from a movie or something?
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#14 Breunor

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Posted 26 November 2003 - 10:08 AM

X-Men movies...

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#15 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 26 November 2003 - 12:46 PM

Ohh! Of course, you have to see the X-Men movies first... :)
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#16 j'ordos

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Posted 26 November 2003 - 01:04 PM

I hope you can understand why I'd prefer Dr. BREUNO®'s name to be changed for that entry... <_<  Unless you reword it to something like, "Dr. Breuno, your detailed analysis of the alien probes does not require Dr. Famke to remove her clothing..." mmm, Famke... :wub:  But that line should also go into the alien exam room entry.

Your wife doesn't read these forums, does she? :naughty:
Time to put an anonymous message with a link to this page on your website :devillaugh:

I don't think you should go in depth on the examination procedures in the text about abductor, the truly gruesome details can be saved for the alien examination room, to give an incentive to research that ;)
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#17 coolp

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Posted 26 November 2003 - 01:16 PM

Okay... heres the latest draft =)

************************************************************
"Who else wants a ride up the tractor beam???"~Newly Hired [X-com] Scientist
Roswell. Area 51. "The Grey Men". All deemed conspiracy theories for years,
the abductees shunned, laughed at, and put in Insane Asylums. Boy were we wrong. The abductor UFO has one purpose: To abduct, experiment on, and erase the memory of, kill, or enslave unsuspecting humans. This UFO is circular, large, and has [3] floors. It would be just like any other UFO, except for the horrors within.

Inside the abductor UFO are many horrible devices, for many different purposes, some we understand, some we cringe whenever we walk by, and some where we have no idea what it is for. Some of the more obvious devices are the assorted scalpels, the light in the operating room, and the operating table, which has a strange surface that sucks in any liquids dropped on it, presumably to speed up clean up after the experiments. We know for a fact that the aliens
will do an vivisection of a living person, which we know from the woman we found curled up in the corner cuddling the half-alien fetus that was just removed from her...the fetus then turned to look at the [x-corps] agents and reached for one of the dead aliens, and whimpered "Daddy... why aren’t you talking?". The poor creature then died for reasons we have yet to ascertain. Because of the discovery of that monstrosity, it is now [X-corp] policy to kill any hybrids found. Fortunately, it is rare to find any these poor souls still alive, and our agents are rarely forced to carry out this sorry directive.


[On the bottom of the UFO is a tractor beam, which is used to pull up the abductees from the yards where they are gardening, the place that they work, the school that they go to. This tractor beam pulls them to a small room, where presumably they are greeted by the "doctor".] Because of this, all [X-com] soldiers are to proceed with extreme caution inside abductor UFOS.

"Dr. Fillwa, you and Dr. Connie are not to use the captured anal probes on yourselves again! Do I make myself clear?"
~~~X-Corps Commander, reprimanding Head Physicists Brueno and Connie for improper use of captured equipment.
************************************************************
I'm not sure what else to change... I think I removed enough of the operating room details, but should I remove more? Do you all think that its ready to put into the asset list as a "in progress"?

#18 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 26 November 2003 - 02:35 PM

I'm not sure I like that part about the Alien feotus. Make the thing snap at xcom agents and try and kill them instead of crying. We don't want the players feeling sorry for the alien like the deer in bambi!

Also, I reccommend you use Bruenor's fluff text. It is much better than mine. :) Or, you may want to make up another one, if Bruenor's is going to be used in the alien exam room ctd.
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#19 coolp

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Posted 27 November 2003 - 10:08 PM

Updated at the top

Edited by coolp, 27 November 2003 - 10:09 PM.


#20 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 27 November 2003 - 10:12 PM

I still think that you shouldn't feel sorry for the alien child. Make it a vicious creature! :)
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#21 Breunor

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Posted 28 November 2003 - 10:14 AM

I'd posted a response that didn't seem to post here.... :huh?: so let me post it again.

I agree with removing the talking fetus, perhaps several rooms were found with human corpses, with either obvious mutations or invitro fertilization experiments? Maybe a human captive that dies as she begs for the soldiers to kill her, then like a dozen baby aliens burst out and are killed by boot. (yes, quite a bit like Aliens, I know) Or something really nasty, like various surgically amputated torsos, suspended in some nutrient solution with feeding tubes to keep them alive, and the people are totally catatonic/vegetables from the shock of their organs being studied for weeks/months.

I'd put more descriptions of the rooms like that into this description, so that there's no doubt this ship's purpose was to capture people and study them. The exam room can have all the gory details, I'd put the exam table surface part into that text.

#22 red knight

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Posted 28 November 2003 - 10:35 AM

Just one remind, try to keep the gore very low... Be informative and add a touch of realism and fun, but do not use "open" semi-ripped humans in the mix and less if that involves children.

This comment is by no means a personal comment, it is just a clarification on the policy to follow regarding the visual + textual gore. We dont want anyone to misunderstand what we intend to do with the creative text.

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Edited by red knight, 28 November 2003 - 10:37 AM.

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#23 mikker

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Posted 28 November 2003 - 01:03 PM

it needs more info on the ufo itself, not the examination room alone.

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#24 Breunor

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Posted 28 November 2003 - 01:11 PM

So perhaps a description that suggest the gore/horror, by describing the soldier's reaction to it:

"Even battle-hardened soldiers shook at the sights within this ship. It appears the craft was designed to abduct humans, and those who were returned to the planet's surface were the lucky ones... Others appeared to be part of horifying experiments. Some were mercifully dead when we found them, but some still lived in states unimaginable to the sane human mind. It appears that even the alien's technology was pushed to the limit to keep these poor souls alive for the extreme surgical procedures they underwent."

"I'm sure with intense psychotherapy we'll have your soldiers back up and performing at their peaks in no time," states Dr. Zelwich, "post-traumatic stress disorder is something we often deal with, but it's usually not this serious for combatant bystanders... I'm just glad we didn't send non-combatants in to hose the place down."

Edited by Breunor, 28 November 2003 - 01:12 PM.


#25 Cpt. Boxershorts

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Posted 28 November 2003 - 01:29 PM

I like it!

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#26 red knight

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Posted 28 November 2003 - 02:18 PM

Excelent piece of work Breunor, it depicts almost the same however without being explicit.

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#27 dipstick

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Posted 28 November 2003 - 02:21 PM

Now we all know why Breunor is in CTD :D

Give him a round of applause.....
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#28 Cpl. Facehugger

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Posted 28 November 2003 - 02:59 PM

Actually, Bruenor is in both the AWD and CTD! ;)
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#29 dipstick

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Posted 28 November 2003 - 03:02 PM

AWD??? Stop it with the damned acroynms!!
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#30 j'ordos

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Posted 28 November 2003 - 03:08 PM

Guess what I'm in :)
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#31 Breunor

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Posted 28 November 2003 - 03:09 PM

Teehee, I'm a SNR, GBM, AWD, CTD...

Jack of all trades, master of none? Hmmm... :huh?:

Glad to offer help where I can guys!

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Edit: Perhaps some more to add in-

Other areas of the ship suggest a variety of unknown objectives the aliens might have. Our operatives have discovered various instruments and devices that have no apparent use, but might have been implanted in human subjects. We should try to coordinate with our civilian liasons to track down individuals claiming to have been abducted by aliens. Thorough examinations of these subjects might uncover some pattern to the abductions that will help us anticipate future attacks.

Further analysis of the abductor victims shows each had some sort of genetic disorder that would typically result in death later in life. Is this coincidence? Our medical examiners theorize that either these diseases were planted or enhanced by the aliens, or the victims were rejected from returning to earth because of them. Further study might lead us to a common thread, but we're drawing blanks right now.

Edited by Breunor, 28 November 2003 - 03:23 PM.


#32 dipstick

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Posted 28 November 2003 - 03:16 PM

Jack of all trades, master of none? Hmmm... :huh?:

No just an annoying.... whoops did I say that out loud?? :rolleyes:

Well, I am a VLG, a PCL, a FCA and many other things. (Those are actually something, not just random letters)
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#33 coolp

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Posted 29 November 2003 - 05:41 PM

Great stuff Breuner! I updated it with the latest at the top...

#34 Breunor

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Posted 30 November 2003 - 11:13 AM

There were a few typos and items that needed adjustments, here is the updated text:

"Who else wants a ride up the tractor beam?"~Dr. Bob, Newly Hired X-Corps Scientist, recently deceased.
Roswell. Area 51. "The Grey Men". All deemed conspiracy theories for years.
The abductees were shunned, laughed at, and in some cases put in insane asylums. It appears their stories were all true. The Abductor UFO has one purpose: to kidnap and experiment on humans, and erase their memory of the experience when returned to Earth. This UFO would be just like any other, except for the horrors within.

Even battle-hardened soldiers shake at the sight of this ship's interior. There were some abductees who returned to the surface, and they were the lucky ones...Others appeared to be part of horifying experiments. Some were mercifully dead when we found them, but some still lived in states unimaginable to a sane human mind. It appears that even the alien's technology was pushed to the limit to keep these poor souls alive for the extreme surgical procedures they underwent.

Inside the UFO are many horrible devices. The function of some we understand, others we don't want to understand for fear of what it may be used for. Vivisection of the living appears to occur, but rescued humans died prior to passing on any useful information. Perhaps the aliens have unknown medical or mental capabilities to sustain life in such conditions. We may never know the true motive behind these vivisections, but, in the words of Colonel Marks, "A good alien is a dead alien"

Other areas of the ship suggest a variety of unknown objectives the aliens might have. Our operatives have discovered various instruments and devices that have no apparent use, but might have been implanted in human subjects. We should try to coordinate with our civilian liasons to track down individuals claiming to have been abducted by aliens. Thorough examinations of these subjects might uncover some pattern to the abductions that will help us anticipate future attacks.

Further analysis of the abductor victims shows each had some sort of genetic disorder that would typically result in death later in life. Is this coincidence? Our medical examiners theorize that either these diseases were planted or enhanced by the aliens, or the victims were rejected from returning to earth because of them. Further study might lead us to a common thread, but we're drawing blanks right now.

[On the bottom of the UFO is what appears to be some type of tractor beam, used to pull up the abductees from their yards, their place of work, or the school they attend. This tractor beam pulls them into a small room, where presumably they are greeted by the "doctor".] We do not understand how to operate the device as of yet, so all X-Corps soldiers are to proceed with extreme caution around the device to avoid the same fate as Dr. Bob.

"Dr. Fillwa, you and Dr. Connie are not to use the captured alien probes on yourselves again! Do I make myself clear?"
~~~X-Corps Commander, reprimanding Head Physicists Fillwa and Connie for improper use of captured equipment.

#35 Breunor

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Posted 01 December 2003 - 07:48 AM

Also I just checked, and Boxershorts has created an entry for the exam room, so we can look at including some of the entries created here that fit better with that text.

#36 coolp

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Posted 07 December 2003 - 02:27 PM

Did you take out the anal probe joke on purpose? That fluff text should probably go if that part is not going to be in there... just some formatting stuff that I changed... updated at the top

#37 red knight

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Posted 07 December 2003 - 07:21 PM

Yes, that is because it is kinda aggressive, it was rephrased by Breunor in an slightly less agressive way.

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Edited by red knight, 07 December 2003 - 07:22 PM.

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#38 Breunor

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Posted 07 December 2003 - 09:17 PM

Exactly, when you say 'alien probe' most people will add in the anal part on their own. If we add it in, now we have potential parents pissed because we refer to sodomy in the game. Not a good thing to have when it can be avoided!

#39 coolp

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Posted 07 December 2003 - 11:30 PM

Oh! Got it, okay =D

#40 Breunor

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Posted 18 December 2003 - 02:44 PM

I've updated the text and put the entry into the CT list, I think we can call this one done unless people notice anything missing.

#41 coolp

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Posted 30 December 2003 - 10:51 PM

Great! Thanks!

#42 Blehm 98

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Posted 22 February 2004 - 11:22 PM

[abductor]
When the aliens need humans to experiment on with their horrid technology, they use this ship to ubduct human in a rather violent and humiliating way. The aliens will take them in the dead of night, and conduct viscous experiments on them. The aliens often study the human reproductive organs, telling us they are searching for a way for them to re-engineer reprodution into their species. Despite the fact that the aliens try to wipe the memories of the night, humans often remember bits and pieces of the experience.
This ship is of the medium class, and built rather lightly for its size. It carries only a small crew, but it is very fast and agile. The mission this ship conducts, Abductions, causes great alarm, and if not neutralized, may cause governments to lower payment or even sign a pact with the aliens.

[terror ship]
When the aliens need to collect humans, they turn to a rather violent solution and conduct terror missions. Terror ships are the conductors of these missions. Terror ships are extremely fast, but lightly armored for their size. These ships are more than capable of anhilating any ship they come across, but the range of these weapons is its main weakness. Terror ships are unique in that they carry terror units, with battleships being the only other ship with terror units. The terror units are very strong and powerful units, but rely only on their own weapons, and not on weapons they find on the ground. Certain terror units are associated with certain alien units.

Edited by Breunor, 27 February 2004 - 03:15 PM.

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#43 Danny252

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Posted 23 February 2004 - 05:10 AM

They're a bit short IMO. They only explain things like your science teacher would. Maybe some fluff text too?
*Atishoo.. atishoo..*
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
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#44 coolp

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Posted 25 February 2004 - 12:34 AM

I had one going a while ago, it didn't turn out that well, maybe some of the stuff would work...

"Who else wants a ride up the tractor beam?" -Dr. Zacov, Newly Hired X-Corps Scientist currently in intensive care following extensive reconstructive surgery.

Roswell. Area 51. "The Grey Men". All deemed conspiracy theories for years. The abducted were shunned, laughed at, and in some cases put in insane asylums. It appears their stories were all true. The Abductor UFO has one purpose: to kidnap and experiment on humans, and erase their memory of the experience when returned to Earth. This UFO would be just like any other, except for the horrors within.

Even battle-hardened soldiers shake at the sight of this ship's interior. There were some abducted humans who were returned to the surface, and they were the lucky ones... Others appeared to be part of horrifying experiments. Some were mercifully dead when we found them, but some still lived in states unimaginable to a sane human mind. It appears that even the alien's technology was pushed to the limit to keep these poor souls alive for the extreme surgical procedures they underwent.

Inside the UFO are many devices, the function of some we understand, and others we don't want to understand for fear of what they may be used for. Vivisection of the living appears to occur, but rescued humans died prior to passing on any useful information. Perhaps the aliens have unknown medical or mental capabilities to sustain life in such conditions. We may never know the true motive behind these vivisections, but in the words of Colonel Marks, "A good alien is a dead alien."

Other areas of the ship suggest a variety of unknown objectives the aliens might have. Our operatives have discovered various instruments and tiny devices that have no apparent use, but might have been implanted in human subjects. We should try to coordinate with our civilian liaisons to track down individuals claiming to have been abducted by aliens. Thorough examinations of these subjects might uncover some pattern to the abductions that will help us anticipate future attacks.

Further analysis of the abducted victims shows each had some sort of genetic disorder that would typically result in death later in life. Is this coincidence? Our medical examiners theorize that either these diseases were planted or enhanced by the aliens, or the victims were rejected from returning to earth because of them. Further study might lead us to a common thread, but we're drawing blanks right now.

On the bottom of the UFO is what appears to be some type of tractor beam, used to pull up the abducted from their yard, place of work, or the school they attend. This tractor beam pulls them into a small room, where the abductor presumably greets them. We do not understand how to operate the device as of yet, so all X-Corps soldiers are to proceed with extreme caution around the device to avoid the same fate as Dr. Zacov.

"Dr. Fillwa, you and Dr. Janssen are not to use the captured alien probes on each other again! Do I make myself clear?" -X-Corps Commander, reprimanding Head Physicists Fillwa and Janssen for improper use of captured equipment.

#45 MagicAndy

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Posted 25 February 2004 - 06:55 PM

good work magstar, you've improved mine no end

EDIT: continue to work on the abductor ship too coolp, i think its definately going in the right direction.

Edited by MagicAndy, 25 February 2004 - 06:57 PM.


#46 coolp

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Posted 25 February 2004 - 10:11 PM

Thanks Andy, I decided to give it another go.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
"Who else wants a ride up the tractor beam?" -Dr. Zacov, Newly Hired X-Corps Scientist currently in intensive care following extensive reconstructive surgery.

Roswell. Area 51. "The Grey Men". All deemed conspiracy theories for years. The abducted were shunned, laughed at, and in some cases put in asylums. It appears their stories were all true. The Abductor UFO has but two purpose: to kidnap and experiment on humans, and erase their memory of the experience when returned to Earth. This UFO would be just like any other, except for the horrors within.

Even battle-hardened soldiers shake at the sight of this ship's interior. There were some abducted humans who were returned to the surface, and they were the lucky ones... if you can call them lucky, as most of the returned humans would live out the rest of their lives in a constant state of paranoia and panic, without knowing the reason. The others appeared to be part of horrifying experiments. Some were mercifully dead when we found them, but some still lived in states unimaginable to a sane human mind. It appears that even the alien's technology was pushed to the limit to keep these poor souls alive for the extreme surgical procedures they underwent.

This UFO carries a fairly small compliment of alien troops, for a medium class ship. But these [8] shock troopers should not be under estimated, as the best alien soldiers are chosen for these missions, presumably to ensure that the humans are taken alive, not dead. We need to increase the frequency of our patrols, as enough abductor UFOs and the target nation may [very well lower payment] or even worse, actually sign a pact with the aliens.

Inside the UFO are many devices, the function of some we understand, and others we don't want to understand for fear of what they may be used for. Vivisection of the living appears to occur, but rescued humans died prior to passing on any useful information. Perhaps the aliens have unknown medical or mental capabilities to sustain life in such conditions. We may never know the true motive behind these vivisections, but in the words of Colonel Heinlein, "A good alien is a dead alien."

Other areas of the ship suggest a variety of unknown objectives the aliens might have. Our operatives have discovered various instruments and tiny devices that have no apparent use, but might have been implanted in human subjects. We should try to coordinate with our civilian liaisons to track down individuals claiming to have been abducted by aliens. Thorough examinations of these subjects might uncover some pattern to the abductions that will help us anticipate future attacks.

Further analysis of the abducted victims shows each had some sort of genetic disorder that would typically result in death later in life. Is this coincidence? Our medical examiners theorize that either these diseases were planted or enhanced by the aliens, or the victims were rejected from returning to earth because of them. Further study might lead us to a common thread, but we're drawing blanks right now.

On the bottom of the UFO is what appears to be some type of tractor beam, used to pull up the abducted from their yard, place of work, or the school they attend. This tractor beam pulls them into a small room, where the abductor presumably greets them. We do not understand how to operate the device as of yet, so all X-Corps soldiers are to proceed with extreme caution around the device to avoid the same fate as Dr. Zacov.

"Dr. Fillwa, you and Dr. Janssen are not to use the captured alien probes on each other again! Do I make myself clear?" -X-Corps Commander, reprimanding Head Physicists Fillwa and Janssen for improper use of captured equipment.

#47 MagicAndy

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Posted 26 February 2004 - 06:39 PM

Looking good! I made some changes, cosmetic/colloquial/grammer/repitition etc, use them if you like: :D



"Who else wants a ride up the tractor beam?" -Dr. Zacov, Newly Hired X-Corps Scientist currently in intensive care following extensive reconstructive surgery.

Roswell. Area 51. "The Grey Men". In the past, theses stories where deemed conspiracy theories at best and at worst, the insane ramblings of some crackpot. Those claiming to be abducted were shunned, laughed at, and in some cases put into mental institutions. With the arrival of extrateretrials on this planet, on the current scale however, we now re-examine our initial conclusions. Many of the victims may have been telling the truth, we know now, and this is supported by our discover and analysis of "Abductor UFO".

The Abductor UFO has but two purpose: to kidnap and experiment on humans, and erase their memory of the experience when returned to Earth. From the outside, the UFO appears to be a normal medium sized craft. The horror on the inside, tell a different story however.

Even battle-hardened soldiers shake at the sight of this ship's interior. The lucky abductees (if you could call them that) where the ones returned to the surface alive and "unharmed". These people would live out the rest of their lives in a constant state of paranoia and panic, without ever knowing the reason. Inside the ship however, the not-so-lucky are found. Unwilling participants in horrifying experiments. Some were mercifully dead when we found them, but some still lived in states unimaginable to a sane human mind. It appears that even the alien's technology was pushed to the limit to keep these poor souls alive for the extreme surgical procedures they underwent.

Inside the UFO are many devices, the function of some we understand, and others we don't want to understand for fear of what they may be used for. Vivisection of the living appears to be favoured, though we may never know the true motives behind these sickening experiments. All rescued humans to this point have died prior to passing on any useful information; the aliens seem to have have unknown medical or mental capabilities to sustain life in such conditions.

"A good alien is a dead alien." - Colonel Heinlein

Other areas of the ship suggest a variety of unknown objectives the aliens might have. Our operatives have discovered various instruments and tiny devices that have no apparent use, but might have been implanted in human subjects. We are at present co-ordinating with our civilian liaisons to track down individuals claiming to have been abducted by aliens. Thorough examinations of these subjects has uncovered some interesting patterns that may help us anticipate future attacks.

Analysis of the abducted victims shows each had some sort of genetic disorder that would typically result in death later in life. Is this coincidence? Our medical examiners theorize that either these diseases were planted or enhanced by the aliens, or the victims were rejected from returning to earth because of them. Further study might lead us to a common thread, but at present this remains a mystery to us.

On the bottom of the UFO is what appears to be some type of tractor beam, used to pull up the abducted from their yard, place of work, or the school they attend. This tractor beam pulls them into a small room, where the abductor presumably greets them. We do not understand how to operate the device as of yet, so all X-Corps soldiers are to proceed with extreme caution around the device to avoid the same fate as Dr. Zacov.

This UFO carries a fairly small compliment of alien troops, for a medium class ship. But these [8] shock troopers should not be under estimated, as the best alien soldiers are chosen for these missions, presumably to ensure that the humans are taken alive, not dead.

We need to increase the frequency of our patrols. Like alien terror missions, alien abductions have a profound pyscological effect on the population, which in turn may compromise national governmnets and in turn, [X-corp] funding. Despite the higher levels tactical risk, we reccomend that UFO's be engaged, and captured/destroyed where ever possible.

"Dr. Fillwa, you and Dr. Janssen are not to use the captured alien probes on each other again! Do I make myself clear?" -X-Corps Commander, reprimanding Head Physicists Fillwa and Janssen for improper use of captured equipment.

#48 nixnihil

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Posted 27 February 2004 - 05:17 AM

Hm, I don't care much for the uses of the word "we".

I.E. "when WE found them..."

I think it would be better to say "when X-Corps operatives found them". Makes it more expository, more official.

Edited by Breunor, 27 February 2004 - 03:35 PM.


#49 Breunor

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Posted 27 February 2004 - 09:45 AM

I was about to say there was already an abductor text done, and lo&behold, it was actually in the CTD list! ;)

Edit: Along with previous post, moved to PM chat.

Edited by Breunor, 27 February 2004 - 03:36 PM.


#50 Anthraxus

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Posted 27 February 2004 - 10:54 AM

I would also think that you wouldn't want to give a specific number of troops on board.
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