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CTD - Alien Terror Mission


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#1 Hailfire22

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Posted 13 January 2005 - 07:07 PM

Terror Missions

It appears that the aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth due to the increase amount of savage attacks on heavily populated areas. As of now it is not known whether this is due to X-Corps resistance to the alien menace or if this is one part in the aliens plan to subjugate humanity. Luckily our military researchers have pieced together battle data, trooper de-briefings, interrogations, and local radar reports to shed light on just how these operations are conducted.

At first a UFO (usually a larger model) is dispatched to a pre-determined city (as of how they go about selecting which city is unknown to us, there seems to be no interest in any political, industrial, or social importance of the location). After arrival a team of aliens is inserted along with support (which varies between each species). This team’s sole purpose is the elimination of all human life in the vicinity; no quarter is asked nor given. The aliens are usually outfitted with the best and most destructive weapons we have encountered thus far and all support vehicles/organisms have proved to be as deadly, if not more so, than conventional human armor. Due to this any local law enforcement is usually overrun before they can get a shot off, and any military forces in the area usually fare no better. X-Corps has also suffered heavy casualties in these encounters, so caution is advised. After enough destruction and death has been wrought in the area the mother UFO returns from a holding area just outside the cities boundaries and picks up the insertion team and returns to wherever it came from.

It is of up most importance that these missions be disrupted at the least, if too many go un-challenged than not only will X-Corps be threatened with termination, but the aliens will be able to accomplish their sinister objectives much more easily.

Edited by Hailfire22, 13 January 2005 - 07:08 PM.


#2 Blehm 98

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Posted 13 January 2005 - 08:22 PM

I'll ingest it tomarrow, be ready for a massive break down
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#3 mikker

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 09:54 AM

sounds fine, i suspect that the research missions determine the city locations, right?

As for the fluf:

"Okay, we don't know how many they are, we don't know where the UFO is, they've had planty of time to hide, we are most likely to die, plus we got to protect every damn citizen there. I wanna stay home!" ~Some soldier guy

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#4 JakeDrake

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 11:49 AM

It appears that the aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth due to the increase amount of savage attacks on heavily populated areas.

This sentence is redundant.

Luckily our military researchers have pieced together...

Wasn't it the scientists who did all the work?

a pre-determined city (as of how they go about selecting which city is unknown to us, there seems to be no interest in any political, industrial, or social importance of the location).

I don't believe this is true. You'll never see a Terror Mission in Lexington, Kentucky, USA (lucky for me :) ). The AI in Project Xenocide will most likely choose terror sites based in part on their importance. In other words higher profile cities get terror missions because it is more effective in causing terror over a larger area. In XCom there was definitely some consideration of a city's importance when choosing a terror site, so I don't think this idea should be included in the CTD.

along with support (which varies between each species)

I think you should first explain how the aliens complement their terror missions with only one main race at a time. Otherwise it is not obvious that they do not just through Vipers, Greys, and Cloaks, all in the same boat at once.

enforcement is usually overrun before they can get a shot off, and any military forces in the area usually fare no better

Probably will sound better if you take out one of those 'usually's

It is of up most importance that these missions be disrupted at the least, if too many go un-challenged than not only will X-Corps be threatened with termination

Here you jump from A to C. B=Why ignoring Terror Missions will result in XCorps termination. The answer is of course obvious to you and I but not necessarily the Player.
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#5 Hailfire22

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 02:50 PM

Terror Missions

It appears that the aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth. As of now it is not known whether this is due to X-Corps resistance to the alien menace or if this is one part in the aliens plan to subjugate humanity. Luckily our alien operations division haves pieced together the battle data, trooper de-briefings, interrogations, and local radar reports to shed light on just how these operations are conducted.

At first a UFO (usually a larger model) is dispatched to a pre-determined city (as of how they go about selecting which city is unknown to us, there seems to be no interest in any political, industrial, or social importance of the location). After arrival a team of aliens (which is made up of only one specie) is inserted along with support (that varies between each species). This team’s sole purpose is the elimination of all human life in the vicinity; no quarter is asked nor given. The aliens are usually outfitted with the best and most destructive weapons we have encountered thus far and all support vehicles/organisms have proved to be as deadly, if not more so, than conventional human armor. Due to this any local law enforcement is usually overrun before they can get a shot off, and any military forces in the area fare no better. X-Corps has also suffered heavy casualties in these encounters, so caution is advised. After enough destruction and death has been wrought in the area the mother UFO returns from a holding area just outside the cities boundaries and picks up the insertion team and returns to wherever it came from.

It is of up most importance that these missions be disrupted at the least, if too many go un-challenged than the aliens will be able to accomplish their sinister objectives much more easily.
-------
Editor's notes:
Ok, added some of the suggestions, deleted redundant words, etc. JakeDrake, on the city subject; true, they only attacked well know cities in X-COM, but that was only because you didn't have very many other major cities. I never did see Detroit, Chicago, Atlanta, etc. But then you do have a point, they would only attack high profile areas. The idea I stated though is that they don't care about the importance us "lowly" humans place on a certain city, anything goes. Just as long as humans died ;)

Anyway, I'll think over it tonight and read some more reviews tommorrow and we'll see what happens. I might change city into major urban area as to not make it seem like every city is in danger, just the BIG ones :wink1:

#6 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 03:12 PM

First review :Poke:

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Terror


It appears that the aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth due to the increase amount of savage attacks on heavily populated areas. As of now it is not known whether this is due to X-Corps resistance to the alien menace or if this is one part in the aliens plan to subjugate humanity. Luckily our military researchers have pieced together battle data, trooper de-briefings, interrogations, and local radar reports to shed light on just how these operations are conducted.

First sentence seems redundant, as Jake said, I suggest something like "It appears that the aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth as the amount of savage attacks on heavily populated areas is rapidly increasing." Not changed much, but now it makes more sense.
Important: in the last sentence, as for how the operations are conducted, remember that for researching Alien Terror Mission you need the Tachyon Emissions Detector (Hyperwave Decoder), so mainly all the data you obtain comes from there, remember to mention it.


At first a UFO (usually a larger model) is dispatched to a pre-determined city (as of how they go about selecting which city is unknown to us, there seems to be no interest in any political, industrial, or social importance of the location). After arrival a team of aliens is inserted along with support (which varies between each species). This team’s sole purpose is the elimination of all human life in the vicinity; no quarter is asked nor given. The aliens are usually outfitted with the best and most destructive weapons we have encountered thus far and all support vehicles/organisms have proved to be as deadly, if not more so, than conventional human armor. Due to this any local law enforcement is usually overrun before they can get a shot off, and any military forces in the area usually fare no better. X-Corps has also suffered heavy casualties in these encounters, so caution is advised. After enough destruction and death has been wrought in the area the mother UFO returns from a holding area just outside the cities boundaries and picks up the insertion team and returns to wherever it came from.

Don't say "model", looks like you're talking about an electrodomestic. Terror Missions are carried out by an Intimidator, you know that for a fact, even if you haven't researched it yet, your people must have observed that all ships in terror sites look alike, so they can be named even if you don't know exactly how many weapon hardpoints it has.
You should say something about how some species don't go together, ever.
You say that support vehicles/organisms as deadly as human armor, armor is for protection, not for killing, I think you picked the wrong word there.
Again, no "mother UFO", you know the type already. I don't understand exactly what you mean by "Holding area", like an hangar the UFO lands on and waits?, I'm not sure about that.


It is of up most importance that these missions be disrupted at the least, if too many go un-challenged than not only will X-Corps be threatened with termination, but the aliens will be able to accomplish their sinister objectives much more easily.

I agree with Jake, say, even if obvious, why X-Corps can be terminated.

#7 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 03:15 PM

Dammit, you posted that right before I posted mine :OhBrother: , ok, just read my comments see if you can use some of them (those you haven't corrected or scrapped already) :)

#8 JakeDrake

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 08:35 PM

Azreal I think when Hailfire uses the word "armor" he is using in a different way then normal. In military terminology "armor" refers to armored-like vehicles, primarily tanks, which is what Hailfire is referring to here. Not everyone will know that though and many will probably interpret "armor" as personal armor (bulletproof vests etc.).
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#9 Hailfire22

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 08:49 PM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Terror

It appears that the aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth. As of now it is not known whether this is due to X-Corps resistance to the alien menace or if this is one part in the aliens plan to subjugate humanity. Luckily our alien operations division haves pieced together the battle data, trooper de-briefings, interrogations, local radar reports, and our own Tachyon Emissions Detector to shed light on just how these operations are conducted.

At first an Intimidator is dispatched to a pre-determined city (as of how they go about selecting which city is unknown to us, there seems to be no interest in any political, industrial, or social importance of the location). After arrival a team of aliens (which is made up of only one specie) is inserted along with support (that varies between each species). This team’s sole purpose is the elimination of all human life in the vicinity; no quarter is asked nor given. The aliens are usually outfitted with the best and most destructive weapons we have encountered thus far and all support vehicles/organisms have proved to be as deadly, if not more so, than conventional human tanks. Due to this any local law enforcement is usually overrun before they can get a shot off, and any military forces in the area fare no better. X-Corps has also suffered heavy casualties in these encounters, so caution is advised. After enough destruction and death has been wrought in the area the Intimidator returns from its landing site just outside the cities boundaries, picks up the insertion team, and then returns to wherever it came from.

It is of up most importance that these missions be disrupted at the least, if too many go un-challenged than the aliens will be able to accomplish their sinister objectives much more easily.
-------
Editor's notes:
Ok, fixed some stuff that I missed and also changed armor to tanks because some/most people don't know what armor means in military terms :wink1: Oh yeah, also replaced any terrorships/motherships with Intimidator. Thanks Azreal ;)

Oh, I'll also try to give you the chance to respond also Az :wink1:

Edited by Hailfire22, 14 January 2005 - 08:51 PM.


#10 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 10:01 PM

Azreal I think when Hailfire uses the word "armor" he is using in a different way then normal.  In military terminology "armor" refers to armored-like vehicles, primarily tanks, which is what Hailfire is referring to here.  Not everyone will know that though and many will probably interpret "armor" as personal armor (bulletproof vests etc.).

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Thought so, but we've been using "armor" as protective clothing, so it could get confusing.

#11 Blehm 98

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 10:07 PM

*waits for the text to fatten up, at which point will pounce on and digest prey*

hurry up, its to short to be worth my time right now, so i'm going to look at the condor entry
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#12 Hailfire22

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Posted 15 January 2005 - 08:36 PM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Terror

It appears that the aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth. As of now it is not known whether this is due to X-Corps resistance to the alien menace or if this is one part in the aliens plan to subjugate humanity. Luckily our alien operations division haves pieced together the battle data, trooper de-briefings, interrogations, local radar reports, and our own Tachyon Emissions Detector to shed light on just how these operations are conducted.

At first an Intimidator is dispatched to a pre-determined city (as of how they go about selecting which city is unknown to us, there seems to be no interest in any political, industrial, or social importance of the location). After arrival a team of aliens (which is made up of only one specie) is inserted along with support (that varies between each species). This team’s sole purpose is the elimination of all human life in the vicinity; no quarter is asked nor given. The aliens are usually outfitted with the best and most destructive weapons we have encountered thus far and all support vehicles/organisms have proved to be as deadly, if not more so, than conventional human tanks. Due to this any local law enforcement is usually overrun before they can get a shot off, and any military forces in the area fare no better. X-Corps has also suffered heavy casualties in these encounters, so caution is advised. After enough destruction and death has been wrought in the area the Intimidator returns from its landing site just outside the cities boundaries, picks up the insertion team, and then returns to wherever it came from.

It is of up most importance that these missions be disrupted at the least, if too many go un-challenged than the aliens will be able to accomplish their sinister objectives much more easily.

"In a bit of irony today, listeners to the station 105.5 recieved a broadcast yesterday stating that aliens were attacking the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H. G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie."
--------------
Editor's Notes:
Added fluff in.

#13 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 15 January 2005 - 09:12 PM

--------------
Editor's Notes:
Added fluff in.

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Proofreader's habits, eh? :P

#14 Hailfire22

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Posted 15 January 2005 - 11:17 PM

--------------
Editor's Notes:
Added fluff in.

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Proofreader's habits, eh? :P

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Yep :D Sometimes I have to catch myself from proofing a CT in here :P Of course the above method also helps others know exactly what you did.

Edited by Hailfire22, 15 January 2005 - 11:17 PM.


#15 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 16 January 2005 - 05:40 PM

--------------
Editor's Notes:
Added fluff in.

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Proofreader's habits, eh? :P

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Yep :D Sometimes I have to catch myself from proofing a CT in here :P Of course the above method also helps others know exactly what you did.

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Don't catch yourself, if you feel like it grab active texts and proofread, that should speed the process a lot, by proofread I mean just make comments, fix grammar, not making permanent changes like the ones we don in proofreading.

#16 Astyanax

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 07:42 PM

Hi-

I'm new to the site, and I have some capacity for proofreading. As an old fan of X-com, I was perusing the posts here, and the CTD forum caught my interest. Since the board doesn't seem to allow me to post a reply in that forum, I am writing a some suggestions to Hailfire22's post in this forum. I hope he won't take these comments as an affront, but I feel the text here is very engaging and couldn't resist tweaking it a bit. Of course, a lot of my comments deal with word choice and are not actual corrections, but hopefully, they help the text parse better.

-Asty
p.s. underlined text indicate deletions, bold text indicates additions, and italics indicate comments.

(From Hailfire22's post in the CTD forum)
ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Terror

It appears that the aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth. As of now At present, it is not known whether this is due to a response to continuing X-Corps resistance to the alien menace or if whether this is one part merely another stage in the aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. Luckily Fortunately, Intel from our aAlien oOperations dDivision haves pieced together the battle data, trooper de-briefings, interrogations, local radar reports, and have compiled information from many sources, from firsthand accounts of alien encounters to deciphered transcripts from our very own Tachyon Emissions Detector Array, to shed light on just how these operations are conducted. and have discovered a pattern to the alien attacks on civilian population centers.

At first In each recorded case of alien terror, an Intimidator ship is dispatched to a pre-determined a landing site just outside the target city (as of how they go about selecting which city is unknown to us, there seems to be no interest in any political, industrial, or social importance of the location). this is extraneous info, imho, and After arrival a team homogenous squad of aliens (which is made up of only one specie) is inserted along with support (that varies between each species), supported by their associated species and vehicles, quickly move into the population center. This team’s terror squad's sole purpose is the elimination systematic eradication of all human life in the vicinity; no quarter is asked nor given. The aliens These terror squads are usually outfitted with the best and most destructive weapons we have encountered thus far, and all the support vehicles/ and organisms have proved to be just as deadly, if not more so, than conventional human tanks. Due to this any the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement is officials are often usually overrun before they can get a shot off firing a single shot, and any military forces in the area seldom fare no any better. Although the X-Corps has met with somewhat more success in combatting the alien terror squads, we have also suffered heavy casualties in these encounters, so caution is advised.

After enough destruction and death committing their atrocities, has been wrought in the area the terror squad would then return to their Intimidator returns from its landing site just outside the cities boundaries, picks up the insertion team, and then returns to wherever it came from then callously withdraw from the grisly scene of death and carnage.

It is of up most utmost importance that these missions be repulsed, or, at the very least, disrupted at the least, for if too many go un-challenged, than the aliens will could quickly gain the upper hand and accomplish their sinister objectives much more easily with great ease. We must confront these alien terror missions head-on, or else we might soon find ourselves the last humans left on the planet...

"In a bit of a bitter moment of irony today, listeners to the station Q105.5 recieved received a broadcast yesterday stating that aliens were attacking detailing the alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H. G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."

EDIT- fixed a couple grammatical errors (verb tenses) and word choices

Edited by Astyanax, 20 January 2005 - 11:32 PM.

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#17 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 09:36 PM

Hailfire22 is out for the moment, I'll revise your comments. You should post in the recruitment center if you wish to help us further, help is always appreciated :)

#18 Astyanax

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 11:12 PM

Thanks! I just found the recruitment center, so I shall post there.
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#19 Astral

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Posted 21 January 2005 - 03:45 AM

It it nice work, i like it changed!!!

#20 dipstick

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Posted 21 January 2005 - 07:01 AM

I think this is in the wrong forum, but I do not know which forums you will be able to access - could an admin move to a more appropriate forum? Thanks.
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#21 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 21 January 2005 - 03:48 PM

He's posted in the recruitment center, so could someone merge these topics with the corresponding ones in the workshops?
thanks! :)

#22 j'ordos

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Posted 21 January 2005 - 05:38 PM

He's posted in the recruitment center, so could someone merge these topics with the corresponding ones in the workshops?
thanks! :)

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#23 Blehm 98

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Posted 23 August 2005 - 03:45 PM

Bump
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#24 kafros

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Posted 23 August 2005 - 04:40 PM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

It appears that the Aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. Fortunately, Intel from Alien Operations Division have compiled information from many sources, from firsthand accounts of Alien encounters to deciphered transcripts from our very own Tachyon Emissions Detector Array and have discovered a pattern to the Alien attacks on civilian population centers.

In each recorded case of Alien terror, an Intimidator UFO is dispatched to a landing site just outside the target city and a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and vehicles, quickly move into the population center. This terror squad's sole purpose is the systematic eradication of all human life in the vicinity. These terror squads are usually outfitted with the most destructive weapons we have encountered thus far, and the support vehicles and organisms have proved to be just as deadly, if not more, than conventional human tanks. Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are often overrun before firing a single shot, and military forces in the area seldom fare any better. Although the X-Corps has met with somewhat more success in combating the Alien terror squads, we have also suffered heavy casualties in these encounters, so caution is advised.

After committing their atrocities, the terror squad would then return to their Intimidator landing site and then callously withdraw from the grisly scene of death and carnage.

It is of utmost importance that these missions be repulsed, or, at the very least, disrupted, for if too many go un-challenged, the Aliens could quickly gain the upper hand and accomplish their sinister objectives with great ease. We must confront these Alien terror missions head-on, or else we might soon find ourselves the last humans left on the planet...

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H. G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."

#25 Moriarty

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Posted 24 August 2005 - 01:34 AM

uh, I don't know about the Tachyon Emissions Detector Array. because you might not have researched it by the time you get this text. I know that it wasn't necessary in X-com, I just don't know if there has been a change of that for our own Tech Tree (where can i find the tech tree again? it keeps eluding me. maybe we should also post it in the CTD forum, for easy reference).

also, I don't know if that would be too big a change, but perhaps we could change the game a bit, to explain why you cannot find the Intimidator at the Terror Site, and why you don't get any stuff from completing a Terror Mission: The Intimidator just drops off the aliens and flies away. you can watch it on the geoscape, the alien hovers over the site, touches down for a few in-game minutes, the Terror Site appears, the UFO lifts off and flies away.
The player has the choice: Take out the UFO before it lands (shoot it down); wait for it to drop off the aliens, shoot it down, take out the crashed intimidator (with very few aliens at the crash site) and then deal with the terror site, or, if he's very very lucky, take out the UFO while it drops off the troops, resulting in a battle in the city with the UFO actually present.
For simplicity's sake, we could also have the UFO drop off the aliens without landing, eliminating the need for a city-with-UFO battlescape.
I think the above would make the whole thing more logical... I have always been wondering where that UFO disappears (especially, the Elerium aboard the UFO :P )
I doubt, therefore I might be.

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#26 kafros

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Posted 24 August 2005 - 08:11 AM

I've downloaded the Tech tree on my Desktop :)

#27 kafros

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Posted 24 August 2005 - 08:34 AM

also, I don't know if that would be too big a change, but perhaps we could change the game a bit, to explain why you cannot find the Intimidator at the Terror Site, and why you don't get any stuff from completing a Terror Mission: The Intimidator just drops off the aliens and flies away. you can watch it on the geoscape, the alien hovers over the site, touches down for a few in-game minutes, the Terror Site appears, the UFO lifts off and flies away.


In each recorded case of Alien terror, an Intimidator UFO is dispatched to a landing site just outside the target city and a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and vehicles, quickly move into the population center.


The player has the choice: Take out the UFO before it lands (shoot it down); wait for it to drop off the aliens, shoot it down, take out the crashed intimidator (with very few aliens at the crash site) and then deal with the terror site, or, if he's very very lucky, take out the UFO while it drops off the troops, resulting in a battle in the city with the UFO actually present.
For simplicity's sake, we could also have the UFO drop off the aliens without landing, eliminating the need for a city-with-UFO battlescape.

Unfortunately, that's a V1+ feature :(

#28 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 24 August 2005 - 08:35 AM

The Tech Tree is under the Active: Creative Text, just look for "Tech Tree" and you'll find it quickly.
Also, the requirements for this mission may vary in the near future, I am thinking of Transmission Decoder and Alien Freighter as requirements.

#29 Moriarty

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Posted 24 August 2005 - 12:40 PM

In each recorded case of Alien terror, an Intimidator UFO is dispatched to a landing site just outside the target city and a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and vehicles, quickly move into the population center.


well, not exactly. what I mean is that in xcom, you never see the UFO leave. the terror ship arrives, and turns into a terror location. I think it would be a minor change to have the ship actually flying away after dropping off the terror squad. it would also give the whole thing a slightly more menacing touch, because the aliens that have been dropped off are on a one-way mission. they are dropped there to kill and destroy as much as they can before being killed.

@azrael: the rtf attached to the first post is the up-to-date tech tree? okay, then. perhaps make that thread sticky? it's just so important for most other texts...

Edited by Moriarty, 24 August 2005 - 12:41 PM.

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Posted 24 August 2005 - 05:16 PM

I meant Intimidator, not Freighter, btw...
No, I don't think it's up to date, the last one may be, though the very last version of the tech tree is in XML format.

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Posted 25 August 2005 - 10:53 PM

We will go the classic way, the only way to obtain this is as it was in X-Com, with a captured Alien Navigator.

#32 kafros

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Posted 25 August 2005 - 11:29 PM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

It appears that the Aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. At last, Intel from Alien Interrogations Division have salvaged as much information from the Alien Navigator as possible, and have compiled a report with information about a discovered pattern in the Alien attacks on civilian population centers.

In each recorded case of Alien terror, an Intimidator UFO is dispatched to a landing site just outside the target city and a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and vehicles, quickly move into the population center. This terror squad's sole purpose is the systematic eradication of all human life in the vicinity. These terror squads are usually outfitted with the most destructive weapons encountered thus far. In addition, their use of support vehicles and organisms has proved to be just as deadly, if not more, than conventional human tanks. After committing their atrocities, the terror squad would then return to their Intimidator landing site and then callously withdraw from the grisly scene of death and carnage.

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are often overrun before firing a single shot, and military forces in the area seldom fare any better. Although X-Corps has met with somewhat more success in combating the Alien terror squads, we have also suffered heavy casualties in these encounters, so caution is advised.


It is of utmost importance that these missions be repulsed, or, at the very least, disrupted, for if too many go un-challenged, the Aliens could quickly gain the upper hand and accomplish their sinister objectives with much greater ease. We must confront these Alien terror missions head-on, or else we might soon find ourselves the last humans left on the planet...

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H. G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."

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Posted 26 August 2005 - 11:52 AM

I like the fluff :D, two things:
- "These terror squads are usually outfitted with the most destructive weapons encountered thus far." I don't like the sound of this phrase, it seems too game-ish, it's almost like saying "Alien units will spawn with the most recently unlocked weaponry", I don't know if I am explaining myself, but I don't see it fit.
- The purpose of Alien Terror is not to kill all Humans on the planet, so this last bit : "We must confront these Alien terror missions head-on, or else we might soon find ourselves the last humans left on the planet... " might be out of place. However, the purpose of Alien Terror Mission is to terrorise people, you didn't mention that, and make emphasis into it, since it's the whole idea ;) you can also make a guess about why they do it, they can assume it is to try to persuade governments into surrender, or into an alliance, or whatever, think as the scientists would ;)

This is going good :)

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Posted 12 October 2005 - 10:58 PM

*bump*

#35 Blehm 98

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Posted 18 October 2005 - 11:30 AM

i'll take this one back if no one else wants to
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Posted 18 October 2005 - 01:05 PM

This is kafros', he needs to work on my comments once he gets time.

#37 Blehm 98

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Posted 19 October 2005 - 11:01 AM

if he never gets around to it or he says i can take it, then i will take it. Thats why i said i'll take it if no one wants to. Sorry, i wasnt' exactly clear
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Posted 19 October 2005 - 12:03 PM

This is nearly completed, no need for a rewrite.

#39 kafros

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Posted 20 October 2005 - 09:10 AM

I will work on that the next days :)

Whenever you need some work from my side, just PM me :D

I will edit this post in order to write the next draft

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Posted 22 October 2005 - 11:27 AM

I will work on that the next days :)

Whenever you need some work from my side, just PM me :D

I will edit this post in order to write the next draft

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Good, looking forward to the next draft :)

#41 kafros

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Posted 28 December 2005 - 10:11 AM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission
Is the header right?

It appears that the Aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Alien Interrogations Division have completed the Alien Navigator's interrogation, and the salvaged information has been compiled in a report with information about a discovered pattern in the Alien attacks on civilian population centers.

In each recorded case of Alien terror, an Intimidator UFO is dispatched to a landing site just outside the target city and a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species or war vehicles, quickly move into the population center. This terror squad's sole purpose is the systematic eradication of all human life in the vicinity. They are outfitted with destructive weaponry, so great care and stress-training is advised before entering such terror zones. In addition, the support of war vehicles and organisms has proved to be just as deadly, if not more, than conventional human tanks. After committing their atrocities, the terror squad return to their Intimidator's landing site and then callously withdraw from the grisly scene of death and carnage.

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are often overrun before firing a single shot, and military forces in the area seldom fare any better. Although X-Corps has met with somewhat more success in combating the Alien terror squads, we have also suffered heavy casualties in these encounters, so caution is advised.

It is of utmost importance that these missions are repulsed, or, at the very least, disrupted, for if too many go un-challenged, the Aliens could quickly gain the upper hand and accomplish their sinister objectives with much greater ease. We must confront these Alien terror missions head-on, or else humanity's morale will dangerously decrease, and the results are unpredictable.

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."

#42 Mad

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Posted 31 December 2005 - 07:43 AM

good stuff :)
only minor anotations.

red for deletions
blue for comments and word suggestions (always for the italic written word directly ahead the " "-tagged comment)
orange for additions

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

It appears that the Aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Alien Interrogations Division have has? completed the Alien Navigator's interrogation, and the salvaged information has been compiled in a report with information about a discovered pattern in the Alien attacks on civilian population centers.

In each recorded case of Alien terror, an Intimidator UFO is dispatched to a landing site just outside the target city and a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species or war vehicles, quickly move into the population center. This terror squad's sole purpose is the systematic eradication of all human life in the vicinity. They are outfitted with destructive weaponry, so great care and stress-training is advised before entering such terror zones. In addition, Maybe leave this words out. It is leading the reader in a wrong direction. the support of war vehicles and organisms has proved to be just as deadly, if not more, than conventional human tanks.
I feel this whole sentence might need a rephrasing, 'cause the referrence to the Aliens' warmachines is not clear at the first reading.
After committing their atrocities, the terror squads return to their Intimidator's landing site and then callously withdraw from the grisly scene of death and carnage.
This is a very unexpected and sudden expression of gore...

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are often overrun before firing a single shot, and military forces in the area seldom fare any better. Although X-Corps hasve? met with somewhat more success in combating the Alien terror squads, we have also suffered heavy casualties in these encounters, so caution is advised.

It is of utmost importance that these missions are repulsed, or, at the very least, disrupted, for if too many go un-challenged, the Aliens could quickly gain the upper hand and accomplish their sinister objectives with much greater ease.
Too complicated, maybe try a rephrasing. We must confront these Alien terror missions head-on, or else humanity's morale will dangerously decrease, and the results are unpredictable. Maybe clarify? Paint the effects on governments?

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."

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#43 tzuchan

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Posted 03 January 2006 - 02:16 AM

Also something to note:
Can we be 100% sure that the player will have encounter and intercepted a terror mission? It is quite possible that the player may actually just ignore terror missions. I suggest that we not mention anything about x-corps having attempted anti-terror missions but just state that judging from the amount of fire power the aliens are tossing about, X-Corps may be the only fast acting strike force capable of countering the threat in time, albeit are likely to suffer heavy losses.

BTW, like the fluffy.
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#44 kafros

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Posted 09 January 2006 - 03:10 PM

]ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

It appears that the Aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Alien Interrogations Division has completed the Alien Navigator's interrogation, and the salvaged information has been compiled in a report with information about a discovered pattern in the Alien attacks on civilian population centers.

In each recorded case of Alien terror, an Intimidator UFO is dispatched to a landing site just outside the target city and a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species or war vehicles, quickly move into the population center. This terror squad's sole purpose is the systematic eradication of all human life in the vicinity. They are outfitted with destructive weaponry and supported by war vehicles and organisms proven to be just as deadly, if not more, as conventional human tanks. Thus, great care and stress-training is advised before entering such contact zones. After committing their atrocities, the terror squad return to their Intimidator's landing site and then callously withdraw from the scene of carnage.

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are often overrun before firing a single shot, and military forces in the area seldom fare any better. Although X-Corps have met with somewhat more success in combating the Alien terror squads, we have also suffered heavy casualties in these encounters, so caution is advised.

It is of utmost importance that these missions are repulsed or at least disturbed. Otherwise, the Aliens could quickly gain the upper hand and accomplish their sinister objectives with much greater ease. The morale of the general population would greatly decrease and pressure would be put on governments, including the funding council’s members. Our funding will be lowered, and countries may be tempted to co-operate with or even surrender to the Aliens. We must confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."

#45 Mad

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Posted 09 January 2006 - 04:19 PM

It is of utmost importance that these missions are repulsed or at least disturbed. Otherwise, the Aliens could quickly gain the upper hand and accomplish their sinister objectives with much greater ease. The morale of the general population would greatly decrease and pressure would be put on governments, including the funding council’s members. Our funding will be lowered, and countries may be tempted to co-operate with or even surrender to the Aliens. We must confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, this might be alittle too much of the clarification. ^_^ They can't know fore sure. Maybe try adding: "Our econmy analysts fear a decrease of funding due to unstable domestic enviroments." Or sth like this... :)

Edited by Mad, 09 January 2006 - 04:19 PM.

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Posted 09 January 2006 - 06:05 PM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

It appears that the Aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Alien Interrogations Division has completed the Alien Navigator's interrogation this sounds repetitive: Alien Interrogations Division has completed Alien Navigator Interrogation, I suggest something like "The Alien Interrogations Department has managed to acquire some new information from a captured extraterrestrial, and the salvaged information has been compiled in a report with information about a discovered pattern in the Alien attacks on civilian population centers.

In each recorded case of Alien terror, an Intimidator UFO is dispatched to a landing site just outside the target city and a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species or war vehicles Artopods and Terror-Discs are not really war vehicles, they are more like autonomous weapons platforms, quickly move into the population center. This The terror squad's sole purpose is the systematic eradication of all human life in the vicinity. They are outfitted with destructive weaponry and supported by war vehicles War vehicles is repetitive here, either remove this one or the one at the beginning and organisms proven to be just as deadly, if not more, as conventional human tanks. Thus, great care and stress-training is advised before entering such contact zones. After committing their atrocities, the terror squad return s to their Intimidator's landing site and then callously withdraw from the scene of carnage.

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are often easily? overrun before firing a single shot, and military forces in the area seldom fare any better. why doesn't the military send like a whole batallion to meet the Aliens? X-Corps usually will take several hours to get to a specific Terror Site, you could say that the military have been ordered by their respective leaders to let X-Corps handle the situation Although X-Corps have met with somewhat more success in combating the Alien terror squads, we have also suffered heavy casualties in these encounters, so caution is advised. This entry could be obtained on the first Terror Mission, with absolutely zero casualties, so I suggest you change this sentence.

It is of utmost importance that these missions are repulsed or at least disturbed. something about the words "repulsed" and "disturbed" just doesn't sound quite right, I suggest something like "It is of utmost importance that these attacks on civillian population are repelled, otherwise...", it doesn't sound right to say that you need to "at least bother the Aliens as they kill everyone", so remove the disturb part. Otherwise, the Aliens could quickly gain the upper hand and accomplish their sinister objectives with much greater ease.Merge with previous sentence The morale of the general population would greatly decrease and pressure would be put on governments, including the funding council’s members. Our funding will would be lowered, and countries may be tempted to co-operate with or even surrender to the Aliens. We must confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."

#47 kafros

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Posted 13 January 2006 - 01:01 PM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

It appears that the Aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Alien Interrogations Departmen has managed to acquire some new information from a captured extraterrestrial, who seems to be a Navigator, and has compiled in a report with information about a discovered pattern in the Alien attacks on civilian population centers.

In each recorded case of Alien terror, an Intimidator UFO is dispatched to a landing site just outside the target city and a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and/or autonomous weapons platforms, proven to be just as deadly, if not more, as conventional human tanks (that's what I was looking for, thanks), quickly move into the population center. The terror squad's sole purpose is the systematic eradication of all human life in the vicinity. They are outfitted with destructive weaponry. Thus, great care and stress training is advised before entering such contact zones. After committing their atrocities, the terror squad returns (they are a bunch of "people", that's why I didn't add the "s", like "the police are...<blah>) to their Intimidator's landing site and then callously withdraw from the scene of carnage.

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are often easily overrun before firing a single shot. Military forces are prohibited to interfere with this kind of situation by their respective goverments in order to let X-Corps handle it, as stated in the X-Corps "Conduct of Operation". X-Corps are more likely to successfuly combat the Alien terror squads, but great caution is advised nevertheless, because any frivolous action may bring heavy casualties on (to?) our side.

It is of utmost importance that these attacks on civilian population are repelled; otherwise, the Aliens could quickly gain the upper hand and accomplish their sinister objectives with much greater ease. The morale of the general population would greatly decrease and pressure would be put on governments, including the funding council’s members. Our funding would be lowered, and countries may be tempted to co-operate with or even surrender to the Aliens. We must confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."
- From the news

Edit: Typos and minor corrections.

Edited by kafros, 14 January 2006 - 02:36 AM.


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Posted 13 January 2006 - 04:31 PM

(they are a bunch of "people", that's why I didn't add the "s", like "the police are...<blah>)

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Yes, but "squad" is singular :) "the squadron return to..." is wrong, and "police" is used in the same way, it's not entirely correct to say "the police are..." (if I'm not mistaken, as "police" refers to a single group, therefore it's singular)

Looks good, nice work :)

Edited by Azrael, 13 January 2006 - 04:32 PM.


#49 kafros

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Posted 14 January 2006 - 02:32 AM

My english teacher is from Wales. She is British to the bone :P. For example, when I pronounced teacher as "teecher", she corrected me: "taecha". And she was "spitting" a lot :P. She has told me that the "police are..." is the right version a million times.

This is what I've found:

I am serious. Police is singular.

There are many singular nouns in English which people use incorrectly in terms of grammar e.g.

The Government has decided :tick:

The Government have decided :cross:

However it has to be remembered for reasons of history which I won't go into now, that English grammar is much more susceptible to change than Spanish or French grammar because we do not have an authority that regulates the language. Therefore what is correct in English is quite an abstract concept which changes with usage. On this basis it is not wrong to say the Police are looking for a criminal in terms of usage (because it is now common) but it is wrong in terms of the conventional understanding of grammar.

According to the American Heritage Dictionary, police is a plural noun. In American English, it is considered wrong to use it in the singular form. Because "police" is considered a body of people, the plural form of the verb is used.

The government is considered as an agency, as a governing body, (not people) and therefore the singular verb is used.


So, I'm waiting for more comments :)

#50 Qonfused

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Posted 19 January 2006 - 01:09 PM

I have a few ideas and comments. most are of a more subjective manner however:

"It appears that the Aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth."
how about something like:
"Statistics show a increase in civilian targeted alien attacks.”
Sounds more sciency, witch is always good^^

“At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity”
Hmmm, I don’t like the way this sentence insinuates the lack of other options, how about something like:
“The reason behind this is unknown. There are theories however, including; that it is an attempt at weakening the support of Xcorp, or that it is just another step in the alien plan for subduing the human race.”

“…just outside the target city”
Isn’t a tactical map about the size of 4-8; city block. What does outside the targeted city mean, do the aliens march through the suburbs heading downtown. If I where a alien I would just land in a city park or something.

“Military forces are prohibited to interfere with this kind of situation by their respective goverments in order to let X-Corps handle it,”
Isn’t xcorp Black Ops. Try replacing the “prohibited” thing with something like: “military(, and law enforcements) are normally ordered to retreat by direct order from their government prior to Xcorp arrival, in a attempt to reduce the threat to Xcorp operatives.”

Edited by Qonfused, 19 January 2006 - 01:10 PM.

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