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#51 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 19 January 2006 - 02:13 PM

My english teacher is from Wales. She is British to the bone :P. For example, when I pronounced teacher as "teecher", she corrected me: "taecha". And she was "spitting" a lot :P. She has told me that the "police are..." is the right version a million times.

This is what I've found:

I am serious. Police is singular.

There are many singular nouns in English which people use incorrectly in terms of grammar e.g.

The Government has decided :tick:

The Government have decided :cross:

However it has to be remembered for reasons of history which I won't go into now, that English grammar is much more susceptible to change than Spanish or French grammar because we do not have an authority that regulates the language. Therefore what is correct in English is quite an abstract concept which changes with usage. On this basis it is not wrong to say the Police are looking for a criminal in terms of usage (because it is now common) but it is wrong in terms of the conventional understanding of grammar.

According to the American Heritage Dictionary, police is a plural noun. In American English, it is considered wrong to use it in the singular form. Because "police" is considered a body of people, the plural form of the verb is used.

The government is considered as an agency, as a governing body, (not people) and therefore the singular verb is used.


So, I'm waiting for more comments :)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok, wrong example (though I am certain I have heard "the police IS" several times and sounds more correct to me, I'll ask my english teachers... if I can find any of them, haven't seen them in over a year...), nevertheless, it's "the squad returns"

#52 Mad

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Posted 26 January 2006 - 06:54 AM

Finally! I've passed my last exam for this semester... So let's have a look... :D
I'm too lazy to explain everything right now, so I'll just use blue... blue for proposals how to rephrase... :)
I think, I will just step on paragraph wise, so you can easily compare old and new text.

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

It appears that the Aliens are stepping up their attacks on the civilian populace on Earth. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Alien Interrogations Departmen has managed to acquire some new information from a captured extraterrestrial, who seems to be a Navigator, and has compiled in a report with information about a discovered pattern in the Alien attacks on civilian population centers.

From the first days of UFO sightings there always have been incidents involving civilians, but as it seems the aliens now are taking their threats against populace to a new level.At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance, or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. X-CORPS Intelligence managed to acquire new information from a captured extraterrestrial and compiled a  report on descoverd patterns in the Alien attacks on civilian centers.


In each recorded case of Alien terror, an Intimidator UFO is dispatched to a landing site just outside the target city and a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and/or autonomous weapons platforms, proven to be just as deadly, if not more, as conventional human tanks (that's what I was looking for, thanks), quickly move into the population center. The terror squad's sole purpose is the systematic eradication of all human life in the vicinity. They are outfitted with destructive weaponry. Thus, great care and stress training is advised before entering such contact zones. systematic eradication of all human life in the vicinity.They are outfitted with destructive weaponry. Thus, great care and stress training is advised before entering such contact zones. After committing their atrocities, the terror squad returns (they are a bunch of "people", that's why I didn't add the "s", like "the police are...<blah>) to their Intimidator's landing site and then callously withdraw from the scene of carnage.

In each one of the recorded confrontations, the Aliens used a special craft type we call the "Intimidator" to dispatch troops in close range to their target area.
These terror troops usually consist of a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and/or autonomous weapons platforms - which proved to be just as deadly, if not more, as conventional human tanks.
These squads have one single order: systematic eradication of all human life in the vicinity.
After committing their atrocities, the terror squad returns to the Intimidator's landing site and then callously withdraw from the scene of carnage.



Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are often easily overrun before firing a single shot. Military forces are prohibited to interfere with this kind of situation by their respective goverments in order to let X-Corps handle it, as stated in the X-Corps "Conduct of Operation". X-Corps are more likely to successfuly combat the Alien terror squads, but great caution is advised nevertheless, because any frivolous action may bring heavy casualties on (to?) our side.

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are easily overrun before firing a single shot. Military forces are prohibited to interfere with this kind of situation by their respective goverments in order to let X-Corps handle it, as stated in the X-Corps "Conduct of Operation". X-Corps are more likely to successfuly combat the Alien terror squads, nevertheless great caution is advised, since any careless action will with no doubt result in heavy casualities.


It is of utmost importance that these attacks on civilian population are repelled; otherwise, the Aliens could quickly gain the upper hand and accomplish their sinister objectives with much greater ease. The morale of the general population would greatly decrease and pressure would be put on governments, including the funding councilís members. Our funding would be lowered, and countries may be tempted to co-operate with or even surrender to the Aliens. We must confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

An anylyzis of the X-CORPs tactical command led to the conclusion that it is of utmost importance to repell any threads to the civilian population, for we cannot exactly calculate the consequences for the populus' morale, but are pretty sure, that a progressed Alien activity will lead to resignation of the affected country.
In order to ensure prolonged X-CORPs funding we have to confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.


"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."
- From the news

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


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And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#53 Mad

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Posted 28 January 2006 - 05:35 AM

Nearly perfect! Just two things:
1)

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

From the first days of UFO sightings, there have always been incidents involving civilians. Nowadays, it is not only statistically proved that the occurrences of these attacks have increased, but in addition, the Aliens are taking their threats against populace to a new level. Maybe explain in short what this new level is. Sure we all now, but it reads better then. I am thinking of somehing in the spirit of: "...to a new level by making terror attacks on city centres." (This is definetly not what you should use, it just sound gruesome... ;) But I  think you get the point.)At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance in order to weaken its support or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Intelligence Division managed to acquire new information from a captured extraterrestrial and compiled a report on discovered patterns in the Alien attacks on civilian centers.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


2)fluff: Maybe think of a radio station or something like CNN news (but without the "CNN" ;) ). The plain "-from the news" reads a little awkward I think.

Other then that: Nope. I would consider it done! =b
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#54 kafros

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Posted 03 June 2006 - 12:17 PM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

From the first days of UFO sightings, there have always been incidents involving civilians. Nowadays, it is not only statistically proved that the occurrences of these attacks have increased, but in addition, the Aliens are taking their threats against populace to a new level. They used to disturb the rural population. Now, they donít hesitate to attack and terrorize urban and metropolitan areas around the world. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance in order to weaken its support or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Intelligence Division managed to acquire new information from a captured extraterrestrial and compiled a report on discovered patterns in the Alien attacks on civilian centers.

In each one of the recorded confrontations, the Aliens used a special craft type we call the "Intimidator" to dispatch troops in close range to their target area. These terror troops usually consist of a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and/or autonomous weapons platforms - which proved to be just as deadly, if not more, as conventional human tanks. These squads have the sole objective of systematic eradication of human life and destruction of resources in close vicinity. After successfully committing their atrocities, the terror squad returns to the Intimidator's landing site and then callously withdraw from the scene of carnage.

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are easily overrun before firing a single shot. Local military and law enforcement forces are ordered not to interfere with this kind of situation by their respective governments and retreat, in order to let X-Corps handle it, as stated in the X-Corps "Conduct of Operation", as X-Corps are more likely to successfully combat the Alien terror squads. Nevertheless great caution is advised, since careless tactics will undoubtedly result in heavy casualties.

An analysis by the X-Corps tactical command led to the conclusion that it is of utmost importance to repel any threads to the civilian population, for we cannot exactly calculate the consequences for the populous' morale, but are pretty sure, that a progressed Alien activity will lead to resignation of the affected country. In order to ensure prolonged X-Corps funding, we have to confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."
- UFO Watch Internet Radio Stream

#55 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 03 June 2006 - 12:29 PM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

From the first days of UFO sightings, there have always been incidents involving civilians. Nowadays, it is not only statistically proved that the occurrences of these attacks have increased, but in addition, the Aliens are taking their threats against populace to a new level. They used to disturb the rural population. Now, they donít hesitate to attack and terrorize urban and metropolitan areas around the world. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance in order to weaken its support or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Intelligence Division managed to acquire new information from a captured extraterrestrial and compiled a report on discovered patterns in the Alien attacks on civilian centers.

In each one of the recorded confrontations, the Aliens used a special craft type we call the "Intimidator" to dispatch troops in close range to their target area. These terror troops usually consist of a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and/or autonomous weapons platforms - which proved to be just as deadly, if not more, as conventional human tanks. These squads have the sole objective of systematic eradication of human life and destruction of resources in close vicinity. After successfully committing their atrocities, the terror squad returns to the Intimidator's landing site and then callously withdraw from the scene of carnage.

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are easily overrun before firing a single shot. Local military and law enforcement forces are ordered not to interfere with this kind of situation by their respective governments and retreat, in order to let X-Corps handle it, as stated in the X-Corps "Conduct of Operation", as X-Corps are more likely to successfully combat the Alien terror squads. Nevertheless great caution is advised, since careless tactics will undoubtedly result in heavy casualties.

An analysis by the X-Corps tactical command led to the conclusion that it is of utmost importance to repel any threads to the civilian population, for we cannot exactly calculate the consequences for the populous' morale, but are pretty sure, that a progressed Alien activity will lead to resignation of the affected country. In order to ensure prolonged X-Corps funding, we have to confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."
- UFO Watch Internet Radio Stream

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


Mistake, plus X-Corps sounds too repetitive in the highlighted part, particularly in the third para.

#56 kafros

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Posted 03 June 2006 - 12:42 PM

What's the mistake? Should it become "do not"?

Indeed, X-Corps could sound repetitive. I will remove one, and change another to "corporation".

Anything else you would like to see?

#57 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 03 June 2006 - 03:11 PM

What's the mistake? Should it become "do not"?

Indeed, X-Corps could sound repetitive. I will remove one, and change another to "corporation".

Anything else you would like to see?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

X-Corps are not a corporation.
Yep, don't remember the word, contractions? "do not" instead of "don't", "cannot" instead of "can't", etc, etc.

#58 Mad

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Posted 03 June 2006 - 03:16 PM

[...]
Indeed, X-Corps could sound repetitive. I will remove one, and change another to "corporation".
[...]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

X-Corps are not a corporation.
[...]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Use "organization" or maybe "agency", "network" or even "group"; in some contexts even "forces" might be adequate.
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#59 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 03 June 2006 - 04:30 PM

[...]
Indeed, X-Corps could sound repetitive. I will remove one, and change another to "corporation".
[...]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

X-Corps are not a corporation.
[...]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Use "organization" or maybe "agency", "network" or even "group"; in some contexts even "forces" might be adequate.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I feel of those only "organization" fits properly.

#60 Mad

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Posted 04 June 2006 - 02:15 AM

I feel of those only "organization" fits properly.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's why it's the first one and the others are introduced with a "maybe" ^_^
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#61 kafros

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Posted 04 June 2006 - 04:34 AM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

From the first days of UFO sightings, there have always been incidents involving civilians. Nowadays, it is not only statistically proved that the occurrences of these attacks have increased, but in addition, the Aliens are taking their threats against populace to a new level. They used to disturb the rural population. Now, they do not hesitate to attack and terrorize urban and metropolitan areas around the world. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance in order to weaken its support or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Intelligence Division managed to acquire new information from a captured extraterrestrial and compiled a report on discovered patterns in the Alien attacks on civilian centers.

In each one of the recorded confrontations, the Aliens used a special craft type we call the "Intimidator" to dispatch troops in close range to their target area. These terror troops usually consist of a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and/or autonomous weapons platforms - which proved to be just as deadly, if not more, as conventional human tanks. These squads have the sole objective of systematic eradication of human life and destruction of resources in close vicinity. After successfully committing their atrocities, the terror squad returns to the Intimidator's landing site and then callously withdraw from the scene of carnage.

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are easily overrun before firing a single shot. Local military and law enforcement forces are ordered not to interfere with this kind of situation by their respective governments and retreat, in order to let X-Corps handle it, as stated in the organizationís "Conduct of Operation", as we are more likely to successfully combat the Alien terror squads. Nevertheless great caution is advised, since careless tactics will undoubtedly result in heavy casualties.

An analysis by the Τactical Command led to the conclusion that it is of utmost importance to repel any threads to the civilian population, for we cannot exactly calculate the consequences for the populous' morale, but are pretty sure, that a progressed Alien activity will lead to resignation of the affected country. In order to ensure prolonged funding and avert incidents of population panic, we have to confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."
- UFO Watch, Internet Radio Stream

#62 Mad

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Posted 04 June 2006 - 10:25 AM

organizationís "Conduct of Operation"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nah.. you can do better that that! :)

e.g., just leave out the "organization's" it reads fine - even better without it.

Edited by Mad, 04 June 2006 - 10:27 AM.

Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#63 kafros

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 02:11 PM

It may be the evening, but I can't find anything else to change. Except that part, is it complete?

#64 Mad

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 02:15 PM

It may be the evening, but I can't find anything else to change. Except that part, is it complete?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sorry, I haven't got the time to read it completely until now. Maybe someone else might check it out also? I'm not the only one here who is capable of reading... ;)
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#65 The Master Maniac

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Posted 06 June 2006 - 03:38 PM

Think we could change "proved" to "proven?" Sorry to nitpick, but that really seems to stand out for some reason. ^_^ It's a brilliant submission, but there's one other thing that I caught:

Local military and law enforcement forces are ordered not to interfere with this kind of situation by their respective governments and retreat, in order to let X-Corps handle it, as stated in the organizationís "Conduct of Operation", as we are more likely to successfully combat the Alien terror squads.


That seems a bit too unnecessarily wordy to me, if you don't mind me saying. Maybe something a bit more concise and direct would be appropriate:

"X-Corps' established doctrine demands that participatory governments are to actively withdraw all military forces in the area, as well as enact a large-scale evacuation effort if possible, in order to minimize risk of collateral damage upon arrival of agency ground forces."

What do you think?

Edited by The Master Maniac, 06 June 2006 - 03:45 PM.


#66 kafros

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Posted 07 June 2006 - 09:16 AM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

From the first days of UFO sightings, there have always been incidents involving civilians. Nowadays, it is not only statistically proven that the occurrences of such attacks have increased, but in addition, the Aliens are taking their threats against populace to a new level. They used to disturb the rural population. Now, they do not hesitate to attack and terrorize urban and metropolitan areas around the world. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance in order to weaken its support or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Intelligence Division managed to acquire new information from a captured extraterrestrial and compiled a report on discovered patterns in the Alien attacks on civilian centers.

In each one of the recorded confrontations, the Aliens used a special craft type we call the "Intimidator" to dispatch troops in close range to their target area. These terror troops usually consist of a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and/or autonomous weapons platforms - which proved to be just as deadly, if not more, as conventional human tanks. These squads have the sole objective of systematic eradication of human life and destruction of resources in close vicinity. After successfully committing their atrocities, the terror squad returns to the Intimidator's landing site and then callously withdraw from the scene of carnage.

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are easily overrun before firing a single shot. X-Corps' established doctrine demands that participatory governments are to actively withdraw all military forces in the area, as well as enact a large-scale evacuation effort, whenever applicable, in order to minimize risk of collateral damage upon arrival of agency ground forces. Nevertheless great caution is advised, since careless tactics will undoubtedly result in heavy casualties.

An analysis by the Tactical Command led to the conclusion that it is of utmost importance to repel any threads to the civilian population. Although we cannot exactly calculate the consequences for the affected populous and government, it is quite possible that a progressed Alien activity will lead to resignation of the affected country. In order to ensure prolonged funding and avert incidents of population panic, we have to confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."
- UFO Watch, Internet Radio Stream



Very nice MM, but I think 2 issues are created:
1) We are talking about the participatory goverments... what happens if another country is attacked? For some reason, I think that there isn't such an issue in EU, right?
2) In order to start an evacuation, the goverments must know that the Aliens are coming. X-Crops is the only organisation able to detect UFOs with its NEUDARs, and to make matters worse, they can only know the type of attack with a Hyperwave decoder... Oops, migrane! :wacko:

@Mad:
In the game called "Cyberstorm", the military organisation that repels the Cybrids (baddies :P) is called "Unitec Corporation". Is it really that bad??? ^_^

Edited by kafros, 07 June 2006 - 09:18 AM.


#67 Mad

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Posted 07 June 2006 - 10:23 AM

@Mad:
In the game called "Cyberstorm", the military organisation that repels the Cybrids (baddies :P) is called "Unitec Corporation". Is it really that bad??? ^_^

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, it is. Sorry. Corporation is just something X-Corps are not.
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#68 Moriarty

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Posted 07 June 2006 - 11:04 AM

corporation always sounds very much like company, ergo a financial, profit-oriented thing. that's not what X-Corps is supposed to be. technically, X-Corps is a "public corporation", but the term corporation does have a serious negative ring to it.
I doubt, therefore I might be.

Posted Image,the sneaky little bastard.

#69 Mad

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Posted 07 June 2006 - 11:09 AM

corporation always sounds very much like company, ergo a financial, profit-oriented thing. that's not what X-Corps is supposed to be. technically, X-Corps is a "public corporation", but the term corporation does have a serious negative ring to it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

yap. couldn't have said it nicer :)
Actually I didn't. But this was what I intended to say.

Edited by Mad, 07 June 2006 - 11:09 AM.

Keep smiling while dying

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And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#70 kafros

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Posted 07 June 2006 - 12:05 PM

I don't argue whenever we should use "corporation" or not. Definitely, organization is more fitting to X-Corps. And yes, corporation gives a "financial feeling" to an organization.


But:

1) A body that is granted a charter recognizing it as a separate legal entity having its own rights, privileges, and liabilities distinct from those of its members.
2) Such a body created for purposes of government. Also called body corporate.
3) A group of people combined into or acting as one body.

Main Entry: corporation
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: organization
Synonyms: association, bunch, business, clan, company, corporate body, crew, crowd, enterprise, gang, hookup*, jungle*, legal entity, megacorp*, outfit, partnership, ring, shell, society, syndicate, zoo*

In addition, X-Corps has a specific budget, sells and buys goods, has a specific staff to pay etc etc etc.

Να λέμε τα σύκα σύκα και την σκάφη σκάφη :P

------
So, what about the 2 points and the status of the text?

#71 Mad

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Posted 07 June 2006 - 12:54 PM

I don't see a problem with the whole issue. You could try to rephrase this paragraph to a less wordy version without using TMMs proposal. But then again, I personally don't see a reason for that, because I fell it's phrased nicely. But that's why I intended not to say anything and wait for more comments. And I still hope someone else has an oppinion on this issue.
As for the status: I would have to deep check it first, I'm lacking the time for this. But I think it's pretty close.
Edit: Bottomline: let's wait if any more comments arouse, and if they don't I will check it, ok?

Edited by Mad, 07 June 2006 - 12:55 PM.

Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#72 The Master Maniac

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Posted 07 June 2006 - 04:55 PM

1) We are talking about the participatory goverments... what happens if another country is attacked? For some reason, I think that there isn't such an issue in EU, right?
2) In order to start an evacuation, the goverments must know that the Aliens are coming. X-Crops is the only organisation able to detect UFOs with its NEUDARs, and to make matters worse, they can only know the type of attack with a Hyperwave decoder... Oops, migrane! :wacko:


Yeah, my bad. That came shortly after "world governments" class, and... ^_^

But on the subject of evacuation protocol, I had it in my head that, during an attack, military forces should focus on clearing the area of civilians rather than engaging the enemy - but now that you mention it, that doesn't make much sense, anyway, does it? Good point. :)

#73 kafros

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Posted 08 June 2006 - 11:42 AM

Actually, I really like your suggestion. Wonderful language and phrasing by the way :)
I am just looking for extreme possibilities and possible "bugs" of the concept. Something the average player will probably never notice ;)

I like it as it is... People? Mad?

#74 Zombie

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Posted 08 June 2006 - 09:12 PM

I read through it and it is very good, kafros. One suggestion for the second paragraph:

In each one of the recorded confrontations, the Aliens used a special craft type we call the "Intimidator" to dispatch troops in close range to their target area. These terror troops usually consist of a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and/or autonomous weapons platforms - which proved to be just as deadly, if not more, as conventional human tanks. These squads have the sole objective of systematic eradication of human life, and destruction of resources in close vicinity and the demoralization of the localized leadership. After successfully committing their atrocities, the terror squad returns to the Intimidator's landing site and then callously withdraws from the scene of carnage.


I'm not sure how you guys feel about the sentence which I added a part. See, there is already a number conflict: sole=one, and we list two or three objectives. Maybe reword that sentence to exclude "sole" somehow or have it read "sole objectives". Other than that, good job again! :)

- Zombie

Edited by Zombie, 08 June 2006 - 09:14 PM.

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Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.
A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.
A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.
They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,
of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!


#75 kafros

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Posted 10 June 2006 - 08:49 AM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

From the first days of UFO sightings, there have always been incidents involving civilians. Nowadays, it is not only statistically proven that the occurrences of such attacks have increased, but in addition, the Aliens are taking their threats against populace to a new level. They used to disturb the rural population. Now, they do not hesitate to attack and terrorize urban and metropolitan areas around the world. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance in order to weaken its support or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Intelligence Division managed to acquire new information from a captured extraterrestrial and compiled a report on discovered patterns in the Alien attacks on civilian centers.

In each one of the recorded confrontations, the Aliens used a special craft type we call the "Intimidator" to dispatch troops in close range to their target area. These terror troops usually consist of a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and/or autonomous weapons platforms - which proved to be just as deadly, if not more, as conventional human tanks. These squads have the sole objective of systematic eradication of human life, destruction of resources in close vicinity and the demoralization of the local leadership. After successfully committing their atrocities, the terror squad returns to the Intimidator's landing site and then callously withdraws from the scene of carnage.

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are easily overrun before firing a single shot. X-Corps' established doctrine demands that participatory governments are to actively withdraw all military forces in the area, as well as enact a large-scale evacuation effort, whenever applicable, in order to minimize risk of collateral damage upon arrival of agency ground forces. Nevertheless great caution is advised, since careless tactics will undoubtedly result in heavy casualties.

An analysis by the Tactical Command led to the conclusion that it is of utmost importance to repel any threads to the civilian population. Although we cannot exactly calculate the consequences for the affected populous and government, it is quite possible that a progressed Alien activity will lead to resignation of the affected country. In order to ensure prolonged funding and avert incidents of population panic, we have to confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."
- UFO Watch, Internet Radio Stream

=========================
Very nice change Zombie!

1) Well, we could think of it as one objective: They have to demoralize the leadership, kill civilians and cause damage. If they do all three, the mission is successful. If they don't, they may not have completed their mission, but it has a negative impact to humans anyway ;).
2) In addition, why "localized" and not "local"?

#76 Zombie

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Posted 10 June 2006 - 07:52 PM

2) In addition, why "localized" and not "local"?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I dunno. It's the first thing which sprang into my mind. Local is better anyway. ^_^

- Zombie
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Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.
A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.
A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.
They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,
of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!


#77 Moriarty

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Posted 10 June 2006 - 11:10 PM

since Xenocide V1 is going to handle this just like XCom (or so I've been told), you might want to delete the sentence about the terror squad going back to the landed intimidator and leaving. If you remember, the Terror Ship in XCom disappeared when the terror site appeared, and there was no UFO leaving when the terror site disappeared after 24 hours. :)
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#78 kafros

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Posted 11 June 2006 - 02:47 AM

since Xenocide V1 is going to handle this just like XCom (or so I've been told), you might want to delete the sentence about the terror squad going back to the landed intimidator and leaving. If you remember, the Terror Ship in XCom disappeared when the terror site appeared, and there was no UFO leaving when the terror site disappeared after 24 hours. :)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, you may not see them in-game, but then what happens to the squad and to the ship? They can't have commited suicide, and they can't have dsappeared in thin air. The only thing they could have done is leave. This is very basic, and I don't think someone has to translate it as "Why can't I attack the terror ship after the mission?". They could follow a vertical route and enter space in no-time, that way you would never detect them, who knows!

My humble opinion. But indeed, that was a nice notice! What do the others think?

#79 Mad

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Posted 11 June 2006 - 03:50 AM

since Xenocide V1 is going to handle this just like XCom (or so I've been told), you might want to delete the sentence about the terror squad going back to the landed intimidator and leaving. If you remember, the Terror Ship in XCom disappeared when the terror site appeared, and there was no UFO leaving when the terror site disappeared after 24 hours. :)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, you may not see them in-game, but then what happens to the squad and to the ship? They can't have commited suicide, and they can't have dsappeared in thin air. The only thing they could have done is leave. This is very basic, and I don't think someone has to translate it as "Why can't I attack the terror ship after the mission?". They could follow a vertical route and enter space in no-time, that way you would never detect them, who knows!

My humble opinion. But indeed, that was a nice notice! What do the others think?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

One thing on the XC-11/-22/-33 thing. They just landed it in the parking lot. Ever heard of park and ride? Hm? If you ever read Hobbes' unknown meneace? They (are forced to, but well...) land outside the perimiter and make their way to the hot zone. As for the aliens, well possibility a) they are dropped of and the ship returns to space at once (I would prefer that one, explaining, why they fight to death - though this would cause a small rewrite... sorry. :) ) B) well, yes, they destroy it after landing (burn all bridges) or c) they really choose the vertical route...

But I'm asking myself if this behaviour couldn't be changed, since it won't affect gameplay to have a UFO leave after they drop the soldiers. But, well they would have to evade any interception by X-Corps, since otherwise you could boost your stats by waiting for the UFO to drop the terrorists, finish them of and then go for the UFO, wich should only have one or two navigators and a commander on board. (There is no way in leaving the UFO land if they don't destroy it, cause you won't ever be able to salvage any UFO parts at all.) So, Red Knight, what do you think?

Edited by Mad, 11 June 2006 - 03:56 AM.

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#80 red knight

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Posted 11 June 2006 - 01:04 PM

To me, the idea that the Terror Ship disappeer is completly strange. If I were to do a gameplay concesion, I would move toward the deploy, run away model. Those aliens should be the Alien terrorists that go but never think in escape from the city alive... After certain time a Alien Terror ship comes by and take them out if they are still alive.

What do you guys think?

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#81 Mad

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Posted 11 June 2006 - 02:02 PM

To me, the idea that the Terror Ship disappeer is completly strange. If I were to do a gameplay concesion, I would move toward the deploy, run away model. Those aliens should be the Alien terrorists that go but never think in escape from the city alive... After certain time a Alien Terror ship comes by and take them out if they are still alive.

What do you guys think?

Greetings
Red Knight

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sounds good, but what happens if you shoot down the pick-up ship?

Edited by Mad, 11 June 2006 - 02:03 PM.

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And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#82 Zombie

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Posted 11 June 2006 - 02:59 PM

A real can of worms, this one. :)

I like Mad's second choice. The aliens land and immediately destroy their ship, make their way to the civilian population and start shooting (signaling the start of the terror mission). It is your responsibility to protect the innocents, and if you neglect the site the aliens will continue to wreak havoc until they run out of ammo. Now the aliens are basically harmless and the local militia can take them out without much trouble, but not before the damage was done (and the hefty -1000 point penalty imposed).

Think of it as a suicide mission. :P

That's my take, and it's a lot easier than trying to explain the other scenarios when a terror ship comes to pick the survivors up.

- Zombie
The Mr. Grognard of X-COM

Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.
A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.
A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.
They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,
of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!


#83 Mad

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Posted 11 June 2006 - 03:15 PM

That's my take, and it's a lot easier than trying to explain the other scenarios when a terror ship comes to pick the survivors up.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It is substentially easier, but not very clever, tactically spoken. Even for the great Aliens a Terrorship is a costy thing. Especially if you take our backstory in account.
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Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#84 Zombie

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Posted 11 June 2006 - 03:19 PM

Eat my words. Think I better read the backstory then, eh? ;)

Edit: I see what you mean, Mad. :hideit:

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Edited by Zombie, 11 June 2006 - 03:27 PM.

The Mr. Grognard of X-COM

Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.
A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.
A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.
They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,
of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!


#85 kafros

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Posted 12 June 2006 - 12:16 AM

Well, I couldn't imagine american marines reaching a target base in the middle of the desert, destroying their humvee and attacking until they get out of ammo, would you? :P. So, why would the Aliens do so?

In addition, can a cryssalid run out of venom? I don't remember if it has glands for that. Anyway, could some silly militia kill 6 cryssalids? nah :P

#86 Zombie

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Posted 14 June 2006 - 09:36 PM

Well, I couldn't imagine american marines reaching a target base in the middle of the desert, destroying their humvee and attacking until they get out of ammo, would you? :P. So, why would the Aliens do so?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Because the aliens are a bunch of mindless drones which take orders from a higher intelligence, that's why. LOL

In addition, can a cryssalid run out of venom? I don't remember if it has glands for that. Anyway, could some silly militia kill 6 cryssalids? nah :P

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nope, Chryssalids have unlimited venom and can therefore impregnate an unlimited number of units. But I'm fairly confident that even Farmer Brown could kill a Chryssalid with his shotgun - given enough turns, ammo and guts. :wink1:

- Zombie
The Mr. Grognard of X-COM

Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.
A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.
A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.
They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,
of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!


#87 kafros

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Posted 15 June 2006 - 12:57 AM

Well, I couldn't imagine american marines reaching a target base in the middle of the desert, destroying their humvee and attacking until they get out of ammo, would you? :P. So, why would the Aliens do so?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Because the aliens are a bunch of mindless drones which take orders from a higher intelligence, that's why. LOL

Marines are also a bunch of semi-mindless drones who take orders from a lower intelligence, LOL LOL

In addition, can a cryssalid run out of venom? I don't remember if it has glands for that. Anyway, could some silly militia kill 6 cryssalids? nah :P

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nope, Chryssalids have unlimited venom and can therefore impregnate an unlimited number of units. But I'm fairly confident that even Farmer Brown could kill a Chryssalid with his shotgun - given enough turns, ammo and guts. :wink1:

- Zombie

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No farmer, until today, has ever killed a Grey, let alone a cryss... Would he confront an Ethereal terror squad with Artopods?

=================

So Mad, we have 3 options. Should I choose what seems more rational?

Edited by kafros, 15 June 2006 - 01:01 AM.


#88 kafros

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Posted 20 June 2006 - 09:42 AM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

From the first days of UFO sightings, there have always been incidents involving civilians. Nowadays, it is not only statistically proven that the occurrences of such attacks have increased, but in addition, the Aliens are taking their threats against populace to a new level. They used to disturb the rural population. Now, they do not hesitate to attack and terrorize urban and metropolitan areas around the world. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance in order to weaken its support or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Intelligence Division managed to acquire new information from a captured extraterrestrial and compiled a report on discovered patterns in the Alien attacks on civilian centers.

In each one of the recorded confrontations, the Aliens used a special craft type we call the "Intimidator" to dispatch troops in close range to their target area. These terror troops usually consist of a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and/or autonomous weapons platforms - which proved to be just as deadly, if not more, as conventional human tanks. These squads have the sole objective of systematic eradication of human life, destruction of resources in close vicinity and the demoralization of the local leadership.

It has been reported that, upon arrival, the terror squad completely destroys the Intimidator, leaving no available way of retreating. At first, this behavior seems awkward, as it eliminates the squadís chances of survival. The Xenobiologists speculate that the terror soldiers are either strictly disciplined and do not hesitate to fight to death, or even that they are trained kamikaze units. Whatever the reason, their tactic is effective, making them a dangerous threat.


Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are easily overrun before firing a single shot. X-Corps' established doctrine demands that participatory governments are to actively withdraw all military forces in the area, as well as enact a large-scale evacuation effort, whenever applicable, in order to minimize risk of collateral damage upon arrival of agency ground forces. Nevertheless great caution is advised, since careless tactics will undoubtedly result in heavy casualties.

An analysis by the Tactical Command led to the conclusion that it is of utmost importance to repel any threads to the civilian population. Although we cannot exactly calculate the consequences for the affected populous and government, it is quite possible that a progressed Alien activity will lead to resignation of the affected country. In order to ensure prolonged funding and avert incidents of population panic, we have to confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."
- UFO Watch, Internet Radio Stream

#89 Mad

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Posted 20 June 2006 - 09:48 AM

wowowow! stop it! May I post a quote?

To me, the idea that the Terror Ship disappeer is completly strange. If I were to do a gameplay concesion, I would move toward the deploy, run away model. Those aliens should be the Alien terrorists that go but never think in escape from the city alive... After certain time a Alien Terror ship comes by and take them out if they are still alive.

Sorry pal. Let's stay away from the destroying their ship idea.

Edited by Mad, 20 June 2006 - 09:49 AM.

Keep smiling while dying

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And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#90 kafros

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Posted 20 June 2006 - 02:47 PM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

From the first days of UFO sightings, there have always been incidents involving civilians. Nowadays, it is not only statistically proven that the occurrences of such attacks have increased, but in addition, the Aliens are taking their threats against populace to a new level. They used to disturb the rural population. Now, they do not hesitate to attack and terrorize urban and metropolitan areas around the world. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance in order to weaken its support or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Intelligence Division managed to acquire new information from a captured extraterrestrial and compiled a report on discovered patterns in the Alien attacks on civilian centers.

In each one of the recorded confrontations, the Aliens used a special craft type we call the "Intimidator" to dispatch troops in close range to their target area. These terror troops usually consist of a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and/or autonomous weapons platforms - which proved to be just as deadly, if not more, as conventional human tanks. These squads have the sole objective of systematic eradication of human life, destruction of resources in close vicinity and the demoralization of the local leadership.

Once the assaulting force is deployed, the Intimidator rapidly exits the atmosphere. If the terror mission is completed successfully and most units are alive, then the vessel returns to collect them. The evacuation is swiftly performed, prohibiting our aircrafts from intercepting the Intimidator, which vanishes into space. The Xenobiologists speculate that the terror soldiers are either strictly disciplined and do not hesitate to fight to death, or even that they are trained kamikaze units. Whatever the reason, their tactic is effective, making them a dangerous threat.


Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are easily overrun before firing a single shot. X-Corps' established doctrine demands that participatory governments are to actively withdraw all military forces in the area, as well as enact a large-scale evacuation effort, whenever applicable, in order to minimize risk of collateral damage upon arrival of agency ground forces. Nevertheless great caution is advised, since careless tactics will undoubtedly result in heavy casualties.

An analysis by the Tactical Command led to the conclusion that it is of utmost importance to repel any threads to the civilian population. Although we cannot exactly calculate the consequences for the affected populous and government, it is quite possible that a progressed Alien activity will lead to resignation of the affected country. In order to ensure prolonged funding and avert incidents of population panic, we have to confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."
- UFO Watch, Internet Radio Stream

#91 Mad

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Posted 23 June 2006 - 05:54 PM

I've had a few, but I really think this is a very good CT. I would call it done, but I'm waiting for the nitpickers... :P
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#92 Blehm 98

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Posted 23 June 2006 - 09:52 PM

I've had a few, but I really think this is a very good CT. I would call it done, but I'm waiting for the nitpickers... :P

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

you called?

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

From the first beginning days of UFO sightings, there have always been incidences involving civilians and strange experiences involving things such as 'aliens abductions'. Nowadays, it is not only statistically proven that the occurrences of such happenings increased, but in addition, the Aliens are now beginning to take their threats against populace to a new level. They used to simply disturb the rural population, and stop at that. Now, the aliens have begun to actually attack and terrorize urban and metropolitan areas around the world. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance in order to weaken its support or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Intelligence Division has managed to acquire new information from a captured extraterrestrial and compiled a report on discovered patterns in the Alien attacks on civilian centers.

changed a bunch here, but mostly rewording or adding or minor ediations

In each one of the recorded confrontations, the Aliens used a special craft type we call dubbed the "Intimidator" to dispatch troops in close range to their target area. These terror troops usually consist of a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and/or autonomous weapons platforms - which prove to be just as deadly, if not more so than, as conventional human tanks. These squads have the sole objective of systematic eradication of human life, destruction of resources in the immediate vicinity and the demoralization of the local leadership.

again, mostly rewording

Once the assaulting force is deployed, the Intimidator immediately takes off and exits the atmosphere. If the terror mission is completed successfully and most units are alive, then the vessel returns to collect them. If the terror mission is successful, and the majority of the original strike force is still alive, the craft may reenter the atmosphere, pick up the team, and then exit the atmosphere once more/ The evacuation is swiftly performed, prohibiting our aircrafts from intercepting the Intimidator, which vanishes into space. The Xenobiologists speculate that the terror soldiers are either strictly disciplined and would not hesitate to fight to death, or even that they are trained kamikaze units. Whatever the reasoning behind their attacks, their tactics are effective, making them a dangerous threat.

again, mostly rewording, a few edits, and thats about it

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are quickly overrun often before firing a single shot, and an effective resistance nearly impossible to assemble. X-Corps' established doctrine demands that participatory governments are to actively withdraw all military forces in the area, as well as enact a large-scale evacuation effort, whenever possible, in order to minimize risk of collateral damage upon arrival of agency ground forces. Nevertheless great caution is advised, since careless tactics will undoubtedly result in heavy casualties , both civilian and X-corps.

some rewritten sentences

An analysis by the Tactical Command has led to the conclusion that it is of utmost importance to repel any threats to the civilian population. Although we cannot exactly calculate the consequences for the affected populous and government, it is quite possible that a progressed Alien activity will lead to resignation from the funding council by the affected country. In order to ensure prolonged funding and avert incidents of population panic, we have to confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

slight rewording, and added a little bit

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."
- UFO Watch, Internet Radio Stream
Top Secret Xenocide Status report

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#93 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 24 June 2006 - 09:06 AM

At the risk of making a not to useful post, those corrections make the text go backwards, as in, they are not improving, they are deteriorating the text as many contain errors.
I'd make some corrections of my own, but I think the text is in perfect shape, except for one or two spelling mistakes not worth counting right now, this text is =b

:)

I've had a few, but I really think this is a very good CT. I would call it done, but I'm waiting for the nitpickers... :P

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

you called?

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

From the first beginning days of UFO sightings, there have always been incidences involving civilians and strange experiences involving things such as 'aliens abductions'. Nowadays, it is not only statistically proven that the occurrences of such happenings increased, but in addition, the Aliens are now beginning to take their threats against populace to a new level. They used to simply disturb the rural population, and stop at that. Now, the aliens have begun to actually attack and terrorize urban and metropolitan areas around the world. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance in order to weaken its support or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Intelligence Division has managed to acquire new information from a captured extraterrestrial and compiled a report on discovered patterns in the Alien attacks on civilian centers.

changed a bunch here, but mostly rewording or adding or minor ediations

In each one of the recorded confrontations, the Aliens used a special craft type we call dubbed the "Intimidator" to dispatch troops in close range to their target area. These terror troops usually consist of a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and/or autonomous weapons platforms - which prove to be just as deadly, if not more so than, as conventional human tanks. These squads have the sole objective of systematic eradication of human life, destruction of resources in the immediate vicinity and the demoralization of the local leadership.

again, mostly rewording

Once the assaulting force is deployed, the Intimidator immediately takes off and exits the atmosphere. If the terror mission is completed successfully and most units are alive, then the vessel returns to collect them. If the terror mission is successful, and the majority of the original strike force is still alive, the craft may reenter the atmosphere, pick up the team, and then exit the atmosphere once more/ The evacuation is swiftly performed, prohibiting our aircrafts from intercepting the Intimidator, which vanishes into space. The Xenobiologists speculate that the terror soldiers are either strictly disciplined and would not hesitate to fight to death, or even that they are trained kamikaze units. Whatever the reasoning behind their attacks, their tactics are effective, making them a dangerous threat.

again, mostly rewording, a few edits, and thats about it

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are quickly overrun often before firing a single shot, and an effective resistance nearly impossible to assemble. X-Corps' established doctrine demands that participatory governments are to actively withdraw all military forces in the area, as well as enact a large-scale evacuation effort, whenever possible, in order to minimize risk of collateral damage upon arrival of agency ground forces. Nevertheless great caution is advised, since careless tactics will undoubtedly result in heavy casualties , both civilian and X-corps.

some rewritten sentences

An analysis by the Tactical Command has led to the conclusion that it is of utmost importance to repel any threats to the civilian population. Although we cannot exactly calculate the consequences for the affected populous and government, it is quite possible that a progressed Alien activity will lead to resignation from the funding council by the affected country. In order to ensure prolonged funding and avert incidents of population panic, we have to confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

slight rewording, and added a little bit

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."
- UFO Watch, Internet Radio Stream

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>



#94 Blehm 98

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Posted 24 June 2006 - 10:19 AM

i see mistakes i made, but for the most part i think its better. I would also prefer it if you said what was wrong, even if there are mistakes, adding more to it along with mistakes means that revisions are better.
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#95 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 24 June 2006 - 11:37 AM

Since I'm not properly versed in english grammar to appropiately explain why these are wrong in a grammatical sense, I won't try to explain, but here it goes.
Since I got finals and other tests and I'm supposed to be studying hydrostatic and hydrodynamics right now, I'll just post a few, hope I make my point.

The following corrections are, IMO, wrong.

From the beginning days of - Do I need to say why?
been incidences involving - Incidents was the proper word
civilians  and strange experiences involving things such as 'aliens abductions' - experiences? things!? that's hardly appropiate language, besides, you may not have studied 'aliens abductions', which is, btw, wrongly put.
occurrences of such happenings increased - Alien terror missions are actually attacks, not just 'happenings' like a storm would be.
Aliens are now beginning to take their threats - Inappropiate, you could be researching this topic months after the game has started, therefore the aliens would have had ALREADY launched tons of attacks on the cities, therefore they would not be "beginning".
They used to simply disturb the rural population, and stop at that. - I really would put it as trivial as "simply disturb"


Edited by Azrael, 24 June 2006 - 11:38 AM.


#96 Blehm 98

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Posted 24 June 2006 - 01:03 PM

i don't agree with you in some of those, but if i continue we'll start fighting so i'll stop talking
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#97 Mad

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Posted 24 June 2006 - 05:33 PM

I think you should all calm down a bit. There are always different oppinions, and there always will be. In the end it comes to the following: everyone is free to post comments on a presented CT. The writer will have to decide if he likes the changes or not. If someone feels that comments of another member might do the text no good, he is free to express his oppinion. But not more. I don't want any discussions on this, because it's the author who has to decide which comments he will introduce into his CT. End of story.
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#98 kafros

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Posted 25 June 2006 - 01:03 PM

ALIEN TERROR MISSION
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Research/Alien Terror Mission

From the first days of UFO sightings, there have always been incidents involving civilians. Nowadays, it is not only statistically proven that the occurrences of such attacks have increased, but in addition, the Aliens are taking their threats against populace to a new level. They used to simply disturb the rural population. Now, they do not hesitate to attack and terrorize urban and metropolitan areas around the world. At present, it is not known whether this is a response to continuing X-Corps resistance in order to weaken its support or merely another stage in the Aliens' plan to subjugate humanity. The Intelligence Division has managed to acquire new information from a captured extraterrestrial and compiled a report on discovered patterns in the Alien attacks on civilian centers.

In each one of the recorded confrontations, the Aliens used a special craft type we call the "Intimidator" to dispatch troops in close range to their target area. These terror troops usually consist of a homogenous squad of Aliens, supported by their associated species and/or autonomous weapons platforms - which proved to be just as deadly, if not more, as conventional human tanks. These squads have the sole objective of systematic eradication of human life, destruction of resources in the immediate vicinity and the demoralization of the local leadership.

Once the assaulting force is deployed, the Intimidator immediately takes off and exits the atmosphere. If the terror mission is successful and the majority of the original strike force is still alive, then the vessel performs re-entry and collects them. The evacuation is swiftly performed, prohibiting our aircrafts from intercepting the Intimidator, which vanishes into space. The Xenobiologists speculate that the terror soldiers are either strictly disciplined and do not hesitate to fight to death, or even that they are trained kamikaze units. Whatever the reasoning behind their attacks, their tactics are effective, making them a dangerous threat.

Due to the sheer disparity in arms and equipment, local law enforcement officials are easily overrun before firing a single shot. X-Corps' established doctrine demands that participatory governments are to actively withdraw all military forces in the area, as well as enact a large-scale evacuation effort, whenever possible, in order to minimize risk of collateral damage upon arrival of agency ground forces. Nevertheless great caution is advised, since careless tactics will undoubtedly result in heavy casualties.

An analysis by the Tactical Command has led to the conclusion that it is of utmost importance to repel any threads to the civilian population. Although we cannot exactly calculate the consequences for the affected populous and government, it is quite possible that a progressed Alien activity will lead to resignation of the affected country. In order to ensure prolonged funding and avert incidents of population panic, we have to confront these Alien terror missions head-on whenever applicable.

"In a bitter moment of irony, listeners to the station FM105.5 received a broadcast yesterday detailing the Alien attacks in the London area. The local residents dismissed it, thinking it was H.G. Well's War of the Worlds being aired for the usual late night radio movie. Were that only the case..."
- UFO Watch, Internet Radio Stream

#99 Blehm 98

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Posted 25 June 2006 - 07:44 PM

alright, thats good, =b
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#100 kafros

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Posted 26 June 2006 - 04:33 AM

Is it complete?