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#1 Cpt. Boxershorts

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Posted 09 August 2003 - 12:06 AM

EDIT: PLEASE NOTE THE XENOCIDE NAMES HAVE NOT BEEN DETERMINED YET FOR EVERY ITEM OR UNIT IN THE GAME, REFERENCES TO NAMES WHICH ARE THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF ATARI OR OTHER COMPANIES BY INDIVIDUAL PROJECT MEMBERS IS NOT CONDONED BY THE PROJECT AND THE PROJECT DOES NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR SUCH ACTIONS. INDIVIDUALS SHOULD REFER TO ENTRY NAMES AGREED TO BY THE PROJECT, AND IF SUCH A NAME DOES NOT YET EXIST THEY SHOULD USE A SUBSTITUTE IN [BRACKETS]. THANKS!

OKay everyone, here's my draft of the snakeman info. I know all the name stuff is still under discussion, so I just left it as 'Snakemen' in the text.

I had the idea for the race information that you would get different (more) race data depending on the rank of the subject captured. So rather than just getting UFO info out of an Engineer, maybe you get a bit of what that race's technology is. This is all just fluff text, with no actual impact on the game, but I thought it would encourage players to expand their captures a bit, rather than going "Got one of each alien, got a leader, got a commander, okay I'm done capturing." So this description is currently broken up by the ranks.

This is just an idea, so if it's vetoed by The Powers That Be™, it can all be be amalgamated into one entry without too much trouble. I just thought I'd throw it out there, and see what happens.

-The Captain

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Edited by Breunor, 24 February 2004 - 10:13 AM.

"...you're always afraid you'll lose control and wake up some morning with a half-built time machine and a plan to go back in time and pants Hitler."
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#2 warhamster

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Posted 09 August 2003 - 02:07 AM

I like the discriptives. I'm wondering though, are we giving the snakemen some sort of additional powers? I mean, sectoids are the standard alien, and their higher ranks are psi capable. Floaters, well, they float. Mutons are tough SOB's, and the etherals, well... But the snakemen, aside from looking ugly, are really bland. We should give them a little something. Maybe they can consume dead bodies and due to some metabolic capability they heal instantly. Might be a moot point since a plasma shot will kill them more than just injure them.

#3 Judge_Deadd

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Posted 09 August 2003 - 02:08 AM

Corrections:

"...we unable t obtain any relevent information..."
We are unable to obtain. Looks like you forgot something.

"...hte subject does not merely refer..."
The subject, my friend.

"...refer to a its own leaders..."
To its own leaders. "A" is a mistake here.

In a soldier report (therefore appearing in every report of every class, if I understood you well), they mention relationship with Chryssalid. Then medic report mentions "creatures known as Chryssalid". Shouldn't it be reversed? (that is, if someone researches a Snakeman without hearing about a Chryssalid first, he would say "What the heck are those chryssalids?"). I think it's all for now.
"This is why I love subtle humour, it's as dirty or as clean as the reader's own mind." -- Sinscale17

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#4 j'ordos

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Posted 09 August 2003 - 02:54 AM

Some typing errors:
orbiting a type G5IV-V star approximatley 29 parsecs from Earth
approximately

but of insufficent amount to cause alarm
insufficient

but completely seperate race
but a completely separate race

known a Chryssilids
known as Chryssalids

feared by our opperatives
operatives

in thier reprductive habits
their reproductive

also apparently affects
wouldn't: 'apparently also affects' be better?

unfortunatly, we are unable to accurately translate time measurement
unfortunately

within brief period
within a brief period

amonst the newborns
amongst

used so effectivly against
effectively

but incapcitated until meal time
incapacitated

A great world, just developing space flight when the Masters came
was their world developing space flight?

thought and temprament
temperament

done toegther
together

I still like Sshi'ygha better :wink:
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#5 Aosar

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Posted 09 August 2003 - 03:47 AM

I like it, aside from the few typocrafial(sp?) mistakes, the text is great! I especially like the feel that makes the snakemen feel like a race, not like your run-of-the-mill D&D monsters...
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#6 miceless

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Posted 09 August 2003 - 10:21 AM

Go ahead and post us an updated version, when you can, and I will take another look at it. For now I think id only be covereing already covered points.
"If it moves - kill it. If it doesn't move - kill it anyway, it might move later."

#7 Cpt. Boxershorts

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Posted 09 August 2003 - 11:34 AM

OKay here's the update. Sorry for all the typos...I never remember to spellcheck these things.

I added a bit more about what the Chryssilids get out to the relationship. As for Judge Deadd's worry, it's a valid one, but unless the research-sensitive reports (where a slightly different text is shown based on other research completed, and previously competed research is updated) idea is implemented in this version, we're out of luck. In order to get really descriptive, we have to be able to mention some other aliens, especially the associated races.


And just for j'ordos, I changed the name. :D


-The Captain

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"...you're always afraid you'll lose control and wake up some morning with a half-built time machine and a plan to go back in time and pants Hitler."
- A Miracle of Science


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#8 Judge_Deadd

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Posted 09 August 2003 - 12:05 PM

yeah, at last someone spelt my username correctly! :D
"This is why I love subtle humour, it's as dirty or as clean as the reader's own mind." -- Sinscale17

"Just imagine if you were really the XCOM commander. You'd build defence modules like there was no tomorrow. Because if you didn't, there really would be no tomorrow!" -- Aiki-Knight

#9 Judge_Deadd

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Posted 09 August 2003 - 12:09 PM

But it's still we unable to obtain ... Insert that "are"!
"This is why I love subtle humour, it's as dirty or as clean as the reader's own mind." -- Sinscale17

"Just imagine if you were really the XCOM commander. You'd build defence modules like there was no tomorrow. Because if you didn't, there really would be no tomorrow!" -- Aiki-Knight

#10 Cpt. Boxershorts

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Posted 09 August 2003 - 12:12 PM

D*mn, missed one!

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"...you're always afraid you'll lose control and wake up some morning with a half-built time machine and a plan to go back in time and pants Hitler."
- A Miracle of Science


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#11 j'ordos

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Posted 09 August 2003 - 01:01 PM

And just for j'ordos, I changed the name.  :D


-The Captain

Wooohoooo!!! Someone who appreciates me and my work!!! :beer:
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#12 mikker

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Posted 09 August 2003 - 02:37 PM

One thing: you refer to chryssaloids. you might not even have seen them, leaving you speculate "what is a chryssaloid?". I suggest that some of the Ufopedia is opdated sometimes.

You could also make ufopedias from when you come home from sites. Like attached.

instead of having a very short medic, you might also add "they occasionetly talk about something they call [real chrysaloids name], but we have at this point no idea of what these are".

Also, stats only appear when live alien is captured (not 100% correct, more like Streangth: High, defence: very high, speed: low).

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Edited by mikker, 09 August 2003 - 02:41 PM.

Some people say that dreams are a portal to the subconscious. If that is so, I am a very disturbed person.

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#13 Cpt. Boxershorts

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Posted 09 August 2003 - 06:11 PM

LIke I said in my first update, unless the 'auto-updating' x-net is v1 (and I'm pretty sure it isn't), there's going to be some mention of other races, especially the associated ones. I do like the idea of using the species name for Chryssilids rather than the common name...that should cover most of the 'what's that?' problem, since even when they see them on the battlescape they have the common name. However, ocnce they research them, they'll get the species name too.

I also like the idea of a brief x-net entry (sort of a debriefing memo) appearing after an alien race is first encountered. It would add nice bit of flavor to the encounter.

While I hope we get the updatable X-net in v1, we shouldn't count on it. It's better to assume we don't have it, ratehr than being forced to rewrite a bunch of the texts at the last minute.

-The Captain
"...you're always afraid you'll lose control and wake up some morning with a half-built time machine and a plan to go back in time and pants Hitler."
- A Miracle of Science


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#14 Guest_Jim69_*

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Posted 09 August 2003 - 07:29 PM

One thing: you refer to chryssaloids. you might not even have seen them, leaving you speculate "what is a chryssaloid?". I suggest that some of the Ufopedia is opdated sometimes.

This could be explained in a couple of lines of writing saying "According to sightings of a creature that is commanly known as a 'Chryssaloid'"

#15 Judge_Deadd

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Posted 10 August 2003 - 01:23 AM

Hey! I said about this one! :hate:
"This is why I love subtle humour, it's as dirty or as clean as the reader's own mind." -- Sinscale17

"Just imagine if you were really the XCOM commander. You'd build defence modules like there was no tomorrow. Because if you didn't, there really would be no tomorrow!" -- Aiki-Knight

#16 miceless

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Posted 10 August 2003 - 04:47 AM

The gas itself is actually based on the their soporific venom...

One small thing in that version... Lose the 'the' i think.

Apart from that its very good. :master:
"If it moves - kill it. If it doesn't move - kill it anyway, it might move later."

#17 Cpt. Boxershorts

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Posted 10 August 2003 - 11:51 AM

Okay, all typos mentioned have been fixed, and all direct references to Chryssalids have been changed. I picked 'Achidna' off the names thread, just because I liked it best. :P

Any higher-ups want to comment on the viability of the research-by-rank idea?

Autopsy text coming soon.

-The Captain

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"...you're always afraid you'll lose control and wake up some morning with a half-built time machine and a plan to go back in time and pants Hitler."
- A Miracle of Science


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#18 Ancalagon

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Posted 13 August 2003 - 07:27 PM

Maybe you could make them 3 second killer snakes :LOL:

#19 Fred the Goat

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Posted 14 August 2003 - 12:17 PM

Awesome! I love the snakemen, and I love the note at the end, if we'd only met before you were controlled, and we were forced to KICK YOUR @SS! :devillaugh:

They're very real and very cool. Good stuff.

One note: "...constantly to 'the Masters,' from whom all its' people..."

should be "...all its people..." Jake's people, Honduras' people, his people, her people, its people.

Besides that offending apostrophe, it's golden. Pin it up!

#20 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 19 November 2004 - 11:28 PM

CURRENT TEXT - NEEDS REVISION


Common Name: Viper
Scientific Name: Xenocrotalus Sapiens
Species Name: Sshi'ygha


The Vipers are one of the more unsettling of the various invading races. Their eerie similarity to terrestrial rattlesnakes evokes a common fear among X-Corps personnel. Indeed, early field reports suggested that this might have been a creature genetically engineered from Earthly fauna, grown to enormous size and grafted with arms. However, these creatures are a completely Alien species; sentient beings with the remnants of what must have been an amazing culture. Our initial interrogations have given us the name of the Viper home world, Sshi-yii and a general idea of its location. From the subject's description, we suspect that this world is actually a moon of one of the earliest extrasolar planets Earth had discovered. It is known to astronomers as HD-70642 b, orbiting a type G5IV-V star approximately 29 parsecs from Earth. More detailed information of this world is unknown to our current subject, however higher ranking individuals may know more.

The Vipers are a carnivorous race, able to eat only freshly killed meat. They appear to be comfortable on land, but prefer shallow water, suggesting a swamp-based origin. In keeping with their generally reptilian appearance, a Viper's body is covered in thousands of pentagonal scales, except for the head. Eleven large plates of bone-reinforced scale protect the head itself. These scales provide excellent natural armouring of the vital areas, and allow the Vipers to function in a wide variety of conditions. Also similar to their terrestrial counterparts, the Viper jaw is capable of dislocating from the skull, allowing the mouth to open to prodigious widths in order to ingest larger prey. The lower jaw also contains vestigial venom sacs that feed into the lower fangs. The venom produced is soporific in nature, but of insufficient amount to cause alarm. A bite from a Viper might make a child seriously disoriented, but is likely to result in no more than momentary dizziness in an adult.

While sentient in their own right, the subject refers constantly to 'the Masters,' from whom all its' people take orders. From the context of these statements, we are sure that the subject does not merely refer to its own leaders, but completely separate race that seems to be directing the Vipers‘ incursions on our planet.


The Viper race reproduces asexually, laying between thirty and fifty softball-sized eggs at a time in a frenzy of ovulation. The eggs are released into a common, water filled gestational pit, where the soft jelly-like mucus that protects each egg can come in contact with another individual’s ovum. This contact allows for a transfer of genetic material between the different eggs, resulting in fertilization. Eggs cannot be fertilized by sibling ova. The soft covering requires that the eggs must remain immersed in water in their natural state. However, according to our current subject, the Vipers have developed a symbiotic relationship with the creatures they call Achidnas, specifically their defensive secretions. When in contact with these venomous secretions, the vulnerable covering of the Viper egg hardens, forming a tough leathery shell. The substance also apparently affects the foetal Vipers at the genetic level, providing them with immunity to the Achidna venom. After an extended period of time (unfortunately, we are unable to accurately translate time measurement), all viable eggs within a birthing pit hatch within brief period, and a feeding frenzy begins amongst the newborns. Out of several hundred fertilized eggs, only a dozen or so will survive the hatching, and be welcomed into the society of Vipers. Once the hatching is complete, the birthing pit is opened to the Achidnas, who devour the shells, along with any unhatched eggs. The amniotic fluid clinging to the inner portion of the shell fragments contains a number of enzymes required by an Achidna's body to produce its venom.


The Viper's primary technological contribution to the invader's knowledge is the development of the stun gas used so effectively against our world's civilian population, and the launcher that fires it. The gas itself is actually based on their soporific venom, and was originally used to fulfil the eating requirements of the race. It seems logical that a species that must eat freshly killed meat would develop a weapon capable of keeping prey alive, but incapacitated until meal time.


The Vipers we see are the remnants of a once great race. Their civilization developed in the swampy temperate zones of Ssth-Kr'th, and spread across the entire planet. With their innate resistance to adverse conditions they built cities in every climate, from the blazing heat of their tropics, to the frozen poles. Theirs was a great world, just developing space flight when the Masters came. Of all the alien races, the Vipers are most like us, both in thought and temperament. If our two races had met before they fell under the thrall of the Masters, who knows what we could have done together?

#21 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 20 November 2004 - 02:25 PM

CURRENT TEXT - REVISED - FIXED INTO STANDARD FORMAT

Common Name: Viper
Scientific Name: Xenocrotalus Sapiens
Species Name: Sshi'ygha

The Vipers are one of the more unsettling of the various invading Alien species. Their eerie similarity to terrestrial rattlesnakes evokes a common fear among X-Corps personnel. Indeed, early field reports suggested that this might have been a creature genetically engineered from Earthly fauna, grown to enormous size and grafted with arms. However, these creatures are a completely Alien species; sentient beings with the remnants of what must have been an amazing culture. Our initial interrogations have given us the name of the Viper home world, Sshi-yii, and a general idea of its location. From the subject's description, we suspect that this world is actually a moon of one of the earliest extra solar planets that had been discovered. It is known to astronomers as HD-70642 b, orbiting a type G5IV-V star, approximately 29 parsecs from Earth. More detailed information of this world is unknown to us at this point.

The Vipers are a carnivorous race, able to eat only freshly killed meat. They appear to be comfortable on land, but prefer shallow water, suggesting a swamp-based origin. In keeping with their generally reptilian appearance, a Viper's body is covered in thousands of pentagonal scales, except for the head. Eleven large plates of bone-reinforced scale protect the head itself. These scales provide excellent natural armouring of vital areas, and allow these Aliens to function in a wide variety of conditions. Also similar to their terrestrial counterparts, the Viper jaw is capable of dislocating from the skull, allowing the mouth to open to prodigious widths in order to ingest large prey. The lower jaw also contains vestigial venom sacs that feed into the lower fangs. The venom produced is soporific in nature, but of insufficient amount to cause alarm. A bite from a Viper might make a child seriously disoriented, but is likely to result in no more than momentary dizziness in an adult, therefore, it represents no real threat to our operatives on the field

While sentient in their own right, the subject refers constantly to “the Master”, from whom all its' kin take orders. From the context of these statements, we are sure that the subject does not merely refer to its own leaders, but completely separate species that seems to be directing the Vipers‘ incursions on our planet.

The Viper species reproduces asexually, lying between thirty and fifty softball-sized eggs at a time in a frenzy of ovulation. The eggs are released into a common, water filled gestational pit, where the soft jelly-like mucus that protects each egg can come in contact with another individual’s ovum. This contact allows for a transfer of genetic material between the different eggs, resulting in fertilization. Eggs cannot be fertilized by sibling ova. The soft covering requires that the eggs must remain immersed in water in their natural state. However, according to our current subject, the Vipers have developed a symbiotic relationship with the creatures they call Achidnas, specifically their defensive secretions. When in contact with these venomous secretions, the vulnerable covering of the Viper egg hardens, forming a tough leathery shell. The substance also apparently affects the foetuses to a genetic level, providing them with immunity to the Achidna venom. After an extended period of time (unfortunately, we are unable to accurately translate time measurement), all viable eggs within a birthing pit hatch within brief period, and a feeding frenzy begins amongst the newborns. Out of several hundred fertilized eggs, only a dozen or so will survive the hatching. Once the hatching is complete, the birthing pit is opened to the Achidnas, who devour the shells, along with any unhatched eggs. The amniotic fluid clinging to the inner portion of the shell fragments contains a number of enzymes required by an Achidna's body to produce its venom.

The Vipers we see today are the remnants of a once great race. Their civilization developed in the swampy temperate zones of Ssth-Kr'th, and spread across the entire planet. With their innate resistance to adverse conditions they built cities in every climate, from the blazing heat of their tropics, to the frozen poles. Theirs was a great world, just developing space flight when the Master came. Of all the Alien species, the Vipers are the most similar to our own, both in thought and temperament. If our two species had met before they had fallen under the thrall of the Master, who knows what we could have done together?

Edited by Azrael, 20 November 2004 - 02:27 PM.


#22 RustedSoul

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Posted 26 November 2004 - 09:57 AM

Now at the mercy of the proofreaders!

#23 kander

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Posted 26 November 2004 - 10:45 AM

MINOR CORRECTION
Common Name: Viper
Scientific Name: Xenocrotalus Sapiens
Species Name: Sshi'ygha

The Vipers are one of the more unsettling of the various invading alien species. Their eerie similarity to terrestrial rattlesnakes evokes a common fear among X-Corps personnel. Indeed, early field reports suggested that this might have been a creature genetically engineered from Earthly fauna, grown to enormous size and grafted with arms. However, these creatures are a completely Alien species; sentient beings with the remnants of what must have been an amazing culture. Our initial interrogations have given us the name of the Viper home world, Sshi-yii, and a general idea of its location. From the subject's description, we suspect that this world is actually a moon of one of the earliest extra solar planets that had been discovered. It is known to astronomers as HD-70642 b, orbiting a type G5IV-V star, approximately 29 parsecs from Earth. More detailed information of this world is unknown to us at this point.

The Vipers are a carnivorous race, able to eat only freshly killed meat. They appear to be comfortable on land, but prefer shallow water, suggesting a swamp-based origin. In keeping with their generally reptilian appearance, a Viper's body is covered in thousands of pentagonal scales, except for the head. Eleven large plates of bone-reinforced scale protect the head itself. These scales provide excellent natural armouring of vital areas, and allow these aliens to function in a wide variety of conditions. Also similar to their terrestrial counterparts, the Viper jaw is capable of dislocating from the skull, allowing the mouth to open to prodigious widths in order to ingest large prey. The lower jaw also contains vestigial venom sacs that feed into the lower fangs. The venom produced is soporific in nature, but of insufficient amount to cause alarm. A bite from a Viper might make a child seriously disoriented, but is likely to result in no more than momentary dizziness in an adult, therefore, it represents no real threat to our operatives on the field.

While sentient in their own right, the subject refers constantly to “the Master”, from whom all its' kin take orders. From the context of these statements, we are sure that the subject does not merely refer to its own leaders, but a completely separate species that seems to be directing the Vipers' incursions on our planet.

The Viper species reproduces asexually, laying between thirty and fifty softball-sized eggs at a time in a frenzy of ovulation. The eggs are released into a common, water filled gestational pit, where the soft jelly-like mucus that protects each egg can come in contact with another individual’s ovum. This contact allows for a transfer of genetic material between the different eggs, resulting in fertilization. Eggs cannot be fertilized by sibling ova. The soft covering requires that the eggs must remain immersed in water in their natural state. However, according to our current subject, the Vipers have developed a symbiotic relationship with the creatures they call Achidnas, specifically their defensive secretions. When in contact with these venomous secretions, the vulnerable covering of the Viper egg hardens, forming a tough leathery shell. The substance also apparently affects the foetuses to a genetic level, providing them with immunity to the Achidna venom. After an extended period of time (unfortunately, we are unable to accurately translate time measurement), all viable eggs within a birthing pit hatch within brief period and a feeding frenzy begins amongst the newborns. Out of several hundred fertilized eggs, only a dozen or so will survive the hatching. Once the hatching is complete, the birthing pit is opened to the Achidnas, who devour the shells, along with any unhatched eggs. The amniotic fluid clinging to the inner portion of the shell fragments contains a number of enzymes required by an Achidna's body to produce its venom.

The Vipers we see today are the remnants of a once great race. Their civilization developed in the swampy temperate zones of Ssth-Kr'th When reading this the first time it did not become clear that Ssth-Kr'th is a part of Sshi-yii.. perhaps find a way to explain this more clearly?, and spread across the entire planet. With their innate resistance to adverse conditions they built cities in every climate, from the blazing heat of their tropics, to the frozen poles. Theirs was a great world, just developing space flight when the Master came. Of all the Alien species we have encountered so far, the Vipers are the most similar to our own, both in thought and temperament. If our two species had met before they had fallen under the thrall of the Master, who knows what we could have done together?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


(Correct me if wrong on the caps of Alien/alien. I think that alien means 'not native to our planet' in this context, and therefor should be non-cap. But I'm pretty new around here.. also, was it intended that the text was no longer separated according to which research produces which part, and the Engineer section has gone AWOL? What does 'snapback' 100355 do?)

--K

Edited by kander, 26 November 2004 - 10:52 AM.

&lt; /post&gt;

#24 Guest_Azrael_*

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Posted 17 January 2005 - 08:42 PM

VIPER
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Species/Viper

The Vipers are one of the more unsettling of the various invading Alien species. Their eerie similarity to terrestrial rattlesnakes evokes a common fear among all personnel. Indeed, early field reports suggested that this might have been a creature genetically engineered from Earthly fauna, grown to enormous size and grafted with arms. However, these creatures are a completely Alien species; sentient beings with the remnants of what must have been an amazing culture. Our initial interrogations have given us the name of the Viper home world, Sshi-yii, and a general idea of its location. From the subject's description, we suspect that this world is actually a moon of one of the earliest extrasolar planets that have been discovered. It is known to astronomers as HD-70642 b, orbiting a type G5 star, approximately 29 parsecs from Earth. More detailed information of this world is unknown to us at this point.

The Vipers are a carnivorous species, able to eat only freshly killed meat. They appear to be comfortable on land, but prefer shallow water, suggesting a swamp-based origin. In keeping with their generally reptilian appearance, a Viper's Ssbody is covered in thousands of pentagonal scales, except for the head. Eleven large plates of bone-reinforced scales protect the head itself. These scales provide excellent natural armoring of vital areas, and allow these Aliens to function in a wide variety of conditions. While sentient in its own right, the subject refers constantly to “the Master”, from whom all its kin take orders. From the context of these statements, we are sure that the subject does not merely refer to its own leaders, but a completely separate species that seems to be directing the Vipers’ incursions on our planet.

The Viper species reproduces asexually, laying between thirty and fifty softball-sized eggs at a time in a frenzy of ovulation. The eggs are released into a common, water-filled gestational pit, where the soft jelly-like mucus that protects each egg can come in contact with another individual’s ovum. This contact allows for a transfer of genetic material between the different eggs, resulting in fertilization. Eggs cannot be fertilized by sibling ova. The soft covering requires that the eggs must remain immersed in water in their natural state. However, according to our current subject, the Vipers have developed a symbiotic relationship with the creatures they call Achidnas, specifically their defensive secretions. When in contact with these venomous secretions, the vulnerable covering of the Viper egg hardens, forming a tough leathery shell. The substance also apparently affects the fetuses to a genetic level, providing them with immunity to the Achidna venom. After an extended period of time (unfortunately, we are still unable to accurately translate time measurement), all viable eggs within a birthing pit hatch within brief period, and a feeding frenzy begins amongst the newborns. Out of several hundred fertilized eggs, only a dozen or so will survive the birth process. Once the hatching is complete, the birthing pit is opened to the Achidnas, who devour the shells, along with any unhatched eggs. The amniotic fluid clinging to the inner portion of the shell fragments contains a number of enzymes required by an Achidna's body to produce its venom.

The Vipers we see today are the remnants of a once great species. Their civilization developed in a swampy temperate zone of Shi-yii they call Ssth-Kr'th and spread across the entire planet. With their innate resistance to adverse conditions they built cities in every climate, from the blazing heat of their tropics, to the frozen poles.

"...Well, it's stupid, it seems like a half-snake half-man to me, why aren't we calling it the Snakeman?, ...what the heck do you mean by copyrights?"
- Jonathan HuntHausen, Research Division, Xenopsychology Department

Edit by Mad: fixed mistakable mentioning of Ssth-Kr'th

Edited by Mad, 06 July 2006 - 08:29 AM.


#25 Zombie

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Posted 20 November 2006 - 09:49 AM

A very, very nice text. Only a minor change here and there. Blue for additions and orange for agreement errors.

VIPER
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Species/Viper

The Vipers are one of the more unsettling of the various invading Alien species. Their eerie similarity to terrestrial rattlesnakes evokes a common fear among all personnel. Indeed, early field reports suggested that this might have been a creature genetically engineered from Earthly fauna, grown to enormous size and grafted with arms. However, these creatures are a completely new Alien species; sentient beings with the remnants of what must have been an amazing culture. Our initial interrogations have given us the name of the Viper home world, Sshi-yii, and a general idea of its location. From the subject's description, we suspect that this world is actually a moon of one of the earliest extra solar planets that have been discovered. It is known to astronomers as HD-70642 b, orbiting a type G5 star, approximately 29 parsecs from Earth. More detailed information of this world is unknown to us at this point.

The Vipers are a carnivorous species, able to eat only freshly killed meat. They appear to be comfortable on land, but prefer shallow water, suggesting a swamp-based origin. In keeping with their generally reptilian appearance, a Viper's body is covered in thousands of pentagonal scales, except for the head. Eleven large plates of bone-reinforced scales protect the head itself. These scales provide excellent natural armoring of vital areas, and allow these Aliens to function in a wide variety of conditions. While sentient in its own right, the subject refers constantly to “the Master”, from whom all its kin take orders. From the context of these statements, we are sure that the subject does not merely refer to its own leaders, but a completely separate species that seems to be directing the Vipers’ incursions on our planet.

The Viper species reproduces asexually, laying between thirty and fifty softball-sized eggs at a time in a frenzy of ovulation. The eggs are released into a common, water-filled gestational pit, where the soft jelly-like mucus that protects each egg can come in contact with another individual’s ovum. This contact allows for a transfer of genetic material between the different eggs, resulting in fertilization. Eggs cannot be fertilized by sibling ova. The soft covering requires that the eggs must remain immersed in water in their natural state. However, according to our current subject, the Vipers have developed a symbiotic relationship with the creatures they call Achidnas, specifically their defensive secretions. When in contact with these venomous secretions, the vulnerable covering of the Viper egg hardens, forming a tough leathery shell. The substance also apparently affects the fetuses to a genetic level, providing them with immunity to the Achidna venom. After an extended period of time (unfortunately, we are still unable to accurately translate time measurement), all viable eggs within a birthing pit hatch within brief period, and a feeding frenzy begins amongst the newborns. Out of several hundred fertilized eggs, only a dozen or so will survive the birth process. Once the hatching is complete, the birthing pit is opened to the Achidnas, who devour the shells, along with any unhatched eggs. The amniotic fluid clinging to the inner portion of the shell fragments contains a number of enzymes required by an Achidna's body to produce its venom.

The Vipers we see today are the remnants of a once great species. Their civilization developed in a swampy temperate zone of Shi-yii they call Ssth-Kr'th and spread across the entire planet. With their innate resistance to adverse conditions they built cities in every climate, from the blazing heat of their tropics, to the frozen poles.

"...Well, it's stupid, it seems like a half-snake half-man to me, why aren't we calling it the Snakeman?, ...what the heck do you mean by copyrights?"
- Jonathan HuntHausen, Research Division, Xenopsychology Department

I should mention that evolution supports hexagonal structures rather than pentagonal since they are stronger. Not that it matters any as the Viper is from a different world. :)

- Zombie
The Mr. Grognard of X-COM

Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.
A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.
A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.
They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,
of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!


#26 Mad

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Posted 20 November 2006 - 10:41 AM

only a fast glance, I have to leave now, will be back in a few hours.

VIPER
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Species/Viper

The Vipers are one of the more unsettling of the various invading Alien species. Their eerie similarity to terrestrial rattlesnakes evokes a common fear among all personnel. Indeed, early field reports suggested that this might have been a creature genetically engineered from Earthly fauna, grown to enormous size and grafted with arms. However, these creatures are a completely new Alien species; sentient beings with the remnants of what must have been an amazing culture. Our initial interrogations have given us the name of the Viper home world, Sshi-yii, and a general idea of its location. From the subject's description, we suspect that this world is actually a moon of one of the earliest extra solar planets that have been discovered. It is known to astronomers as HD-70642 b, orbiting a type G5 star, approximately 29 parsecs from Earth. More detailed information of this world is unknown to us at this point.

The Vipers are a carnivorous species, able to eat only freshly killed meat. They appear to be comfortable on land, but prefer shallow water, suggesting a swamp-based origin. In keeping with their generally reptilian appearance, a Viper's body is covered in thousands of pentagonal scales, except for the head. Eleven large plates of bone-reinforced scales protect the head itself. These scales provide excellent natural armoring of vital areas, and allow these Aliens to function in a wide variety of conditions. While sentient in its own right, the subject refers constantly to “the Master”, from whom all its kin take orders. From the context of these statements, we are sure that the subject does not merely refer to its own leaders, but a completely separate species that seems to be directing the Vipers’ incursions on our planet.

The Viper species reproduces asexually, laying between thirty and fifty softball-sized eggs at a time in a frenzy of ovulation. The eggs are released into a common, water-filled gestational pit, where the soft jelly-like mucus that protects each egg can come in contact with another individual’s ovum. This contact allows for a transfer of genetic material between the different eggs, resulting in fertilization. Eggs cannot be fertilized by sibling ova. The soft covering requires that the eggs must remain immersed in water in their natural state. However, according to our current subject, the Vipers have developed a symbiotic relationship with the creatures they call Achidnas, specifically their defensive secretions is it only me, or does this sentence read strnage?. When in contact with these venomous secretions, the vulnerable covering of the Viper egg hardens, forming a tough leathery shell. The substance also apparently affects the fetuses to a genetic level, providing them with immunity to the Achidna venom. After an extended period of time (unfortunately, we are still unable to accurately translate time measurement), all viable eggs within a birthing pit hatch within brief period, and a feeding frenzy begins amongst the newborns. Out of several hundred fertilized eggs, only a dozen or so will survive the birth process. Once the hatching is complete, the birthing pit is opened to the Achidnas, who devour the shells, along with any unhatched eggs. The amniotic fluid clinging to the inner portion of the shell fragments contains a number of enzymes required by an Achidna's body to produce its venom.

The Vipers we see today are the remnants of a once great species. Their civilization developed in a swampy temperate zone of Shi-yii they call Ssth-Kr'th and spread across the entire planet. With their innate resistance to adverse conditions they built cities in every climate, from the blazing heat of their tropics, to the frozen poles.

"...Well, it's stupid, it seems like a half-snake half-man to me, why aren't we calling it the Snakeman?, ...what the heck do you mean by copyrights?"
- Jonathan HuntHausen, Research Division, Xenopsychology Department

I should mention that evolution supports hexagonal structures rather than pentagonal since they are stronger. Not that it matters any as the Viper is from a different world. :)

- Zombie


Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#27 Zombie

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Posted 20 November 2006 - 11:20 AM

However, according to our current subject, the Vipers have developed a symbiotic relationship with the creatures they call Achidnas, specifically their defensive secretions is it only me, or does this sentence read strnage?.

I don't know, it sounds fine to me. :wink1:

Read it like this to see if it makes any sense:

However, according to our current subject (a live Viper), the Vipers have developed a symbiotic relationship with the creatures they call the Achidnas, specifically their (the Achidnas) defensive secretions.

Perhaps a minor rewording of that sentence might help.

- Zombie

Edited by Zombie, 20 November 2006 - 11:21 AM.

The Mr. Grognard of X-COM

Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.
A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.
A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.
They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,
of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!


#28 Mad

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Posted 20 November 2006 - 04:24 PM


However, according to our current subject, the Vipers have developed a symbiotic relationship with the creatures they call Achidnas, specifically their defensive secretions is it only me, or does this sentence read strnage?.

I don't know, it sounds fine to me. :wink1:

Read it like this to see if it makes any sense:

However, according to our current subject (a live Viper), the Vipers have developed a symbiotic relationship with the creatures they call the Achidnas, specifically their (the Achidnas) defensive secretions.

Perhaps a minor rewording of that sentence might help.

- Zombie

Yea, let's reword it to something like this:

However, according to our current subject, the Vipers have developed a symbiotic relationship with the creatures they call the "Achidnas", using specifically thier defensive secretions and providing a protected living enviroment in return.


But that is a bit wordy. maybe you can think of sth. better?
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#29 Zombie

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Posted 21 November 2006 - 12:50 AM

Wordy? Not any worse than it was before. ;)

I actually like your rewording just the way it is. Why don't we roll with this text as it stands right now? It's a good read. :)

Before we do, I'd like you to look at the agreement problem I noticed before. Is it supposed to be "Sshi-yii" or "Shi-yii"?

- Zombie

Edited by Zombie, 21 November 2006 - 12:53 AM.

The Mr. Grognard of X-COM

Zombie: Empirical data's your only man, when formulating a research plan.
A soldier's death is never in vain if it makes the formula more plain.
A few dozen make a better case for refining that third decimal place.
They call me Zombie because I don't sleep, as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,
of corpses, data points, and trials, but from the top - I'll see for miles!


#30 Mad

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Posted 21 November 2006 - 04:48 AM

Before we do, I'd like you to look at the agreement problem I noticed before. Is it supposed to be "Sshi-yii" or "Shi-yii"?

Don't care. Sshi sounds great, what do you think :)
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#31 Mad

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Posted 21 November 2006 - 01:08 PM

OK. Final version.

VIPER
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Alien/Species/Viper

Vipers are one of the more unsettling of the various invading Alien species. Their eerie similarity to terrestrial rattlesnakes evokes a common fear among all personnel. Indeed, early field reports suggested that this might have been a creature genetically engineered from Earthly fauna, grown to enormous size and grafted with arms. However, these creatures are a completely new Alien species; sentient beings with the remnants of what must have been an amazing culture. Our initial interrogations have given us the name of the Viper home world, Sshi-yii, and a general idea of its location. From the subject's description, we suspect that this world is actually a moon of one of the earliest extra solar planets that have been discovered. It is known to astronomers as HD-70642 b, orbiting a type G5 star, approximately 29 parsecs from Earth. More detailed information of this world is unknown to us at this point.

The Vipers are a carnivorous species, able to eat only freshly killed meat. They appear to be comfortable on land, but prefer shallow water, suggesting a swamp-based origin. In keeping with their generally reptilian appearance, a Viper's body is covered in thousands of pentagonal scales, except for the head. Eleven large plates of bone-reinforced scales protect the head itself. These scales provide excellent natural armoring of vital areas, and allow these Aliens to function in a wide variety of conditions. While sentient in its own right, the subject refers constantly to “the Master”, from whom all its kin take orders. From the context of these statements, we are sure that the subject does not merely refer to its own leaders, but a completely separate species that seems to be directing the Vipers’ incursions on our planet.

The Viper species reproduces asexually, laying between thirty and fifty softball-sized eggs at a time in a frenzy of ovulation. The eggs are released into a common, water-filled gestational pit, where the soft jelly-like mucus that protects each egg can come in contact with another individual’s ovum. This contact allows for a transfer of genetic material between the different eggs, resulting in fertilization. Eggs cannot be fertilized by sibling ova. The soft covering requires that the eggs must remain immersed in water in their natural state. However, according to our current subject, the Vipers have developed a symbiotic relationship with creatures they call "Achidnas", using thier defensive secretions and providing a protected living enviroment in return. When in contact with these venomous secretions, the vulnerable covering of the Viper egg hardens, forming a tough leathery shell. The substance also apparently affects the fetuses to a genetic level, providing them with immunity to the Achidna venom. After an extended period of time (unfortunately, we are still unable to accurately translate time measurement), all viable eggs within a birthing pit hatch within brief period, and a feeding frenzy begins amongst the newborns. Out of several hundred fertilized eggs, only a dozen or so will survive the birth process. Once the hatching is complete, the birthing pit is opened to the Achidnas, who devour the shells, along with any unhatched eggs. The amniotic fluid clinging to the inner portion of the shell fragments contains a number of enzymes required by an Achidna's body to produce its venom.

The Vipers we see today are the remnants of a once great species. Their civilization developed in a swampy temperate zone of Sshi-yii they call Ssth-Kr'th and spread across the entire planet. With their innate resistance to adverse conditions they built cities in every climate, from the blazing heat of their tropics, to the frozen poles.

"...Well, it's stupid, it seems like a half-snake half-man to me, why aren't we calling it the Snakeman?, ...what the heck do you mean by copyrights?"
- Jonathan HuntHausen, Research Division, Xenopsychology Department


Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image