Well, I said a while back that I might make a story in which X-com's finest Berserking warrior went to mars and here it is, have fun.
Sergeant Ironhead sets foot on Mars
Space, the darkest and emptiest place you can imagine, damn cold also. Yet, in some small corners, there are a bunch of rocks. And one rock is green, and blue and has this bloody annoying rain all the time. That rock is being attacked by some funny creatures from a red rock, which is where we are going now. Ironhead looked at what he had written and frowned in disgust. ,,I’ve been writing for more than a damn week at this, and I can’t even write one chapter!” Commander Vogel and the rest of the people onboard the Avenger woke up at the sudden noise. ,,Dammit, Sergeant! Can’t you be quite for one goddamned hour?!” ,,But, sir. I’m bored.” ,,Just shut up! Hawkins, go check our position.” ,,yes sir.”
A few days later
Mars. For years, setting foot on this planet has been one of the biggest dreams of humanity. And now it was going to happen, but a bit different than everybody imagined. The Avenger came in low through a raging storm to avoid the fleet of alien spaceships. Though with no doubt the most powerful weapon ever constructed by man, it was no match for the alien armada that was floating around the area. It touched down in the middle of the Martian night, on the outskirts of an area containing several ancient pyramids. The ramp came down and a plasma hovertank flew out of the ship, only to be torn to pieces from multiple directions by plasma fire. ,,Jenkins, Hopkins. Move to the right and take down whatever is firing at us. The rest of you, get out and head for the nearest pyramid. The tanks will clear the left.” Vogel shouted before flying out of the spaceship. ,,Hey, I hate rain!” Sergeant Ironhead said as plasma fire came down on the squad of soldiers from the top of the pyramid. With a tap on the controls placed on his chest, he flew up to the same level as a window built into the structure. He send in a volley of plasma fire with his Heavy Plasma. ,,Oops, my mom told me that throwing rocks at windows was a naughty thing to do, people might get hurt!” he said as he saw the remains of a sectoid on the floor and the damage he had caused. ,,Sergeant! Get down here!” ,,Yes, sir!” When entering the pyramid, a soldier got taken down by a barrage of plasma fire. The sectoid that was responsible for it got taken out with a grenade, but when the squad entered, they only found an empty room with a lift leading upward to the place that had been wrecked by the sergeant. ,,Great. Allright, Alpha squad will check the left pyramids, Beta squad will check the right.” ,,Um, what about me, sir?” ,,I don’t know sergeant, just go and take a walk.” ,,yes, sir.”
The sergeant decided to check on the tanks that hadn’t said anything for the last few minutes and found their wrecked hulks on the edge of the combat zone. When he came closer, a Cyberdisk floated out of its cover and fired, missing wildly. ,,Damn Frisbees!” He shouted and ran for the only cover in the area which was the exact same pyramid where the Cyberdisk had been hiding. Once there, a game of hide and seek began with the sergeant and the alien weapon flying around in circles. ,,Man, this is getting annoying, I’ll just fly through that window and take a rest.” He had just entered the pyramid when he saw the Cyberdisk floating past underneath him. ,,Oh, boy. I feel like riding a horse.” He muttered and jumped back out of the window, right on top of the disk. The alien machine was not programmed for the sudden added weight and plunged down to the floor. It managed to correct its mistake just in time, only to get blasted by a hail of plasma fire from the sergeant who was now flying upwards to avoid the large explosion coming from the disk’s selfdestruct device.
,,What took you so long, sergeant? Now get over here and go down that elevator.” Commander Vogel said as they all sat down in a closely packed formation and looked at the insides of the mars base. ,,Yes, sir!”
Sergeant Ironhead quickly descended the elevator and looked at his surroundings. The room he was in looked empty, so he called over the rest of the squad. ,,Allright. Alpha squad goes to the left, beta squad to the right. I’ll follow Alpha. You just stay out of the way, you braindead idiot!” ,,Yes, sir!” the sergeant responded and moved off into the corridor. The base was quite, too quite. The silence was disturbed as the sounds of plasma started to echoe through the underground labyrinth. ,,Finally, it was getting boring here!” Ironhead shouted and sprinted in the direction of the sounds. When he arrived, the fight was over. ,,Dammit, I’m too late. Now what am I going to do now? Hey, Hawkins! Umm, where is the rest of Beta squad?” The figure of Hawkins, wearing a powersuit that had been torn to pieces and with half of his head missing, came closer without responding, green ooze dripping out of the corner of his mouth. Suddenly, his arms reached out and knocked the Heavy Plasma out of the sergeant’s hand. ,,Hey, calm down! What’s the matter with you? Got a bad day?” Ironhead said as he avoided the remains of Hawkins who was swinging his arms around with inhuman strength. ,,You know, you don’t look so good. Hey, wait a minute, what’s that green stuff coming out of your mouth? Hold on, the guys with the lightbulbs told me something about it.” He said while still avoiding what once had been Hawkins, finally noticing the obvious. Intelligence wasn’t Ironhead’s strongest point. ,,Hey, I remember! You’ve been zombified! Come here!” The sergeant rushed in and had his hands come down like a pair of raging elephants on the zombie’s head. The zombie staggered backwards, its head knocked of by the force of the blow. Then its chest ripped open, and a dark clawed figure crawled out of it. As the zombie’s remains fell down on the floor, the Cryssalid charged. Ironhead managed to brab his Heavy Plasma and let it rip on full auto, taking out the Cryssalid and blowing deep holes in the walls, revealing the bare rock behind it.
,,all units, we’ve found what seems to lead to a command center of sorts. Rendezvous with us at our current location!” The voice of Vogel ordered through the intercom. ,,Out of the way, you flying water balloon!” Ironhead said as he rushed towards the rendezvous point, leaving the smoking remains of several aliens behind. He rounded the last corner and immediately ducked back towards where he came from. Hot plasma flew past him, blowing chunks out of the wall. When he peaked around the corridor, he saw a grenade exploding on top of the huge alien killing machine’s head. After the explosion cleared, the Sectopod was still standing, turning towards whoever had thrown the grenade, with a few cracks and a small hole visible in its thick armour. ,,Come on, I’ll take you out!” The sergeant shouted and stepped back into the corridor. He raised his weapon and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. ,,Oh, shuckeroonies! Here we go!” The sergeant screamed a battle cry and ran for the Sectopod that had taken out the grenade thrower, Leaving his empty Heavy Plasma behind on the floor. He jumped on top of the big metal monster and took out his X-com semi-automatic pistol, a weapon that he constantly forgot to replace by something more powerful. ,,Fred, meet big metal chicken. Big metal chicken, meet Fred.” He said and started pumping lead through the small hole in the machine’s armour, wrecking the complex control systems inside. The Sectopod stopped moving.
,,Is that all?, No other survivors?” Vogel said as the four soldiers crouched at the end of a big corridor that split further away, with gravlifts on both ends. ,,We can’t turn back. Let’s just rest and prepare for our assault.” ,,I’m not going to wait, I’m gonna kill those bugeyes!”
,,No sergeant, come back! You don’t even have a gun, you bloody stupid Rambo wannabe!”
But the sergeant already stormed up one of the gravlifts.
The room at the top of the lift was big, with rows of chairs pointing in the direction of a large alien device at the far end of the room. What was more interesting for the sergeant, however were the Ethereals that looked at him, Heavy Plasmas ready. After seeing that he was unarmed and not a threat though, they decided to make him theirs. The sergeant could hear their voices speaking in his mind, telling him to let go of his hate and serve them. ,,No, get out of my head, you dirty psychopaths!” The sergeant shouted and stormed for the group of Ethereals. He slammed into one of them with his full weight and gave an uppercut to the one standing next to it. Both Ethereals crumpled down to the floor. He was too close to shoot, if they missed, their leader might be destroyed by their shots, so they had no choice but to do things the same way as the berserking sergeant. One of them raised its Heavy Plasma and tried to hit him on the head, while the other one used its great telekinetic powers to push him away. The sergeant grabbed the Heavy Plasma and hit its owner with it. The alien alloys bended through the massive power of the blow, making the weapon useless. The alien fell to the floor, its skull shattered and its neck broken. The other alien managed to push the sergeant away far enough to shoot and raised its weapon. The hot Plasma was taken by one end of the twisted weapon the sergeant threw while the other end slammed into the chest of the alien, making it collapse to the floor. It tried to get back up and take on the sergeant with its mind, but it succumbed to the punches that rained down on it.
,,You truly are the luckiest bastard in the galaxy, do you know that?” Vogel said as he looked at the corpses of the Ethereals that lied on the floor. He diverted his attention to the alien device and moved over to it. ,,This must be their queen, the one the scientists told us about. It is time to finish this war and I’ll become a hero by shooting this thing.” The commander raised his weapon, but before he could pull the trigger, a screen lit up at the base of the massive alien brain, begging them to listen first to its story before making their decision. Scenes of a lush green mars filled with life were followed by images of earths history. ,,We wanted to help. You cannot destroy us, we created you. Think, if you put down your weapons, we’ll let you join us, become part of the greatest alliance in the galaxy. Think, i…..” The voice of the brain was stopped by a barrage of Plasma fire. ,,Sergeant, no! What have you done?! You just ruined everything! We could have become friends! It was right and we were wrong! They never intended to destroy us! Why?!!” The sergeant lowered the Heavy Plasma that he took from one of the death Ethereals. The now empty clip popped out of it and fell on the floor. ,,That was the worst and most boring movie I’ve ever seen. Lousy special effects.”
The Avenger was being prepared to leave, and the corpses of the death soldiers had been buried. The alien armada had been completely lost all of its coordination after the destruction of their brain. Most of them crashed, some of them simply kept flying in the direction they were moving in before, to later become a artificial comet that would plunge into a planet, asteroid or star after many years. Commander Vogel still couldn’t understand why the sergeant had pulled the trigger, but he got some hope from the knowledge that it would be a long time for the aliens to come back and take revenge, he would be death by then. ,,Sergeant, what the heck is that?!” ,,Oh, I’ve always wanted a horse, but I’m allergic to animals. So I just thought I would take this one here.” Ironhead patted one of the legs of the remote controlled Sectopod. He then turned to the alien corpses he had thrown on a pile next to the ramp. ,,Oh yeah, I brought something else, tonight we’ll eat fried Ethereal and drink a bit of my whisky. You’ll love it!
Commander Vogel was a mental wreck after the death of the alien brain. The call of fame and glory was greater though, and he played his role of victorious X-com commander till the end. His grandson, Isaac Vogel, would make up for his grandfather's incompetence and become known as the leader of the X-com Renegades.
Sergeant Ironhead, took his medal and started hiring himself out as a mercenary when he got bored by peace. He fought again in the second alien war and made it out of T'Leth alive. He then had himself cryogenically frozen at a secret base that was a left over from the first alien war and meant to be used in the event that
X-com HQ fell. He would be awaken by the X-com Renegades and gladly took the offer of Isaac Vogel to protect the bugs from an even bigger threat for a change.
Hoped you like it. This will be the last adventure of sergeant Ironhead for a while.
Sergeant Ironhead Sets Foot On Mars
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