The Laws Of X-com

[Guest Azrael]

First to uninstall? ...........yet you're still here

Yeah, but I stay mainly on Xenocide forums rarely on X-Com forums.

 

Anyways it was posted for fun sorry you found it offensive enough to add a negative comment.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I didn't find it offensive, and my comment was not negative it was merely that, a comment.

[Exterminatus]

Whenever you're trying to get a pet chryssalid/tentuculat, the zombie must always appear right in front of your soldier regardless if they're flying or not. A side effect is that if close enough the soldier will be zombified.

[Admiral Harkov]

X-COM agents are a s s obsessed. They will stare in the butt of the agent between them and the aliens.

 

When you want a wall off to have a line of sight or fire, you'll find the best constructed wall of the map.

 

Aliens will miss, only if they shoot at your worst agent.

Edited September 28, 2008 by Admiral Harkov

[Ashtaron]

After a few hours of playing Apocalypse...

 

1. If you're almost broke after buying a new flagship for your fleet, it will be destroyed in the next UFO incursion.

 

2. UFOs carrying infiltrators always spawn at the gate you don't have covered.

 

3. Griffon AFV is tough. The road under it is not. The tracks are just for show.

 

4. There are only two types of vehicles that are always in abundance on the market. Blazer bikes and Stormdogs.

 

5. While en route to a building, your craft will shoot at a Cult civilian car and demolish half of the city trying to hit it. However, the car will survive.

 

6. If your base is raided, there will be as few of your agents spawning as possible.

 

6.1. Said agents will spawn as far away from the access lift as possible.

6.2. Guess where the scientists will appear.

 

7. Megapol is useless.

7.1. Transtellar is annoying.

7.2. Everyone else is both annoying and useless.

 

8. Government's weekly paycheck will buy you a Lawpistol clip. Maybe two.

 

9. If your base is in a slum, a single stray shot from a light disruptor will destroy it all.

9.1. If your base is in a warehouse, said stray shot will still hit the tile with your agents

 

10. Hoverbike swarm is a good idea. Too bad they'll all get shot down anyway because of sheer dumb luck on the aliens' part.

 

11. If you're raiding a building, there will always be a retard with a heavy launcher.

11.1. Despite your best efforts, he will manage to fire at least one missile.

11.2. And he will do so even if you're breathing in his face.

11.3. There is no way to avoid the missile and injuries or casualties from it.

11.4. Even if you somehow actually manage to avoid the missile, it'll bring down the building on you.

 

12. That stupid grenade will go off at the cultist corpses and destroy all the goodies you came here for.

 

13. If an agent in a squad gets attacked by a brainsucker, the rest of the squad won't hit it at point blank range.

13.1. Or they'll fire a missile launcher. Guess the results.

 

14. The pride of your fleet is always stuck in alien dimension when you get attacked by a Mothership.

 

15. If you turn around the corner where you think that last alien is hiding, it'll turn out to be half a dozen of Anthropods. All armed to the teeth.

 

16. Berserking agent will cause more chaos and destruction than all of your other agents put together. And it won't be directed at the enemy.

 

17. If someone throws a Boomeroid at an agent, he'll try to run away from it.

17.1. Because it will always turn out that you forgot to set him to aggressive mode.

 

18. Research will always be completed right after when you needed it the most.

 

19. If you try to capture a Megaspawn, he'll die before you can stun it.

 

20. You'd wish you gave that mind controlled agent a Toxigun instead of a Dimension Missile Launcher.

 

21. You'll encounter cloaked and flying Skeletoids much more often than you'd like to.

 

22. Good stuff always comes too late.

 

23. After a firefight in the city, the only one to be blamed for the devastation will be you, even if it was an Overspawn that did it.

 

24. Psi attacks are only successful when they're not necessary.

 

25. Dynamic music always ignores what you're actually doing.

 

26. That agent you sent to scout ahead will always be the one without a motion scanner.

 

27. Every raid is a horrible decision between property damage and greed. Either way, you lose.

 

28. People Tubes can collapse from an angry glare.

 

29. You're the only one who has a problem with the aliens. Every other corp has them on neutral.

 

30. The agent with a Mind Bender won't see the enemy until he's standing right next to it.

Edited January 27, 2009 by Ashtaron

[Hobbes]

I've copy/pasted the best of this thread to the the UFOPaedia. Here's the Murphy's Laws (X-COM) link if you're interested