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CTD - Laser Defense Array


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#51 Astyanax

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Posted 11 May 2005 - 10:27 AM

Well, I pored over the AWD model here, and it looks like paragraph 5 probably should be totally revamped. The following details in the AWD model should probably make it into the text:

- the laser defense facility is two stories
- generators (and presumably cooling and other systems) are on the first floor
- there are two lasers mounted on a single turret situated on the second floor
- the lasers are not centrally situated as stated in the text
- the control room is on the second floor opposite the cannon room
- there is a small corridor (an "extended buffer area") between the control room and the cannon room; it doesn't "circumscribe" the weapon as stated in the text
- there exists a lift to the lower level (placed inside the wall?), and a main lift for the cannon, though I'm having trouble finding them in the models. I think that the laser cannon turret is on it's own lift (the "main lift"), but the other one still eludes me. It's PM time! :P
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#52 dan2

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Posted 12 May 2005 - 05:34 PM

[LASER DEFENSE FACILITY]
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/[Laser Defense Facility]

As this war unfolds, it becomes has become increasingly apparent that even state-of-the-art conventional weapons are only having a limited effect against Alien technology. The recent razing of the Cheyenne Mountain NORAD Headquarters by an Alien pre-emptive strike undeniably demonstrates this conclusion. NORAD military bases are considered to be among the best-defended installations on Earth, and their headquarters had been considered a veritable fortress. This further stresses that fact that conventional defense systems are proving less and less effective against the Alien menace; should the invaders shift to a fully offensive posture, we would surely find our bases woefully deficient in defensive firepower. Fortunately, recent developments in laser technology have given us a base defense facility design that provides firepower beyond that of our original [Missile Defense Facility design].

Having overcome recent overcharge and focus problems, the Research Division has provided us with blueprints for the construction of a laser-based Aerial Defense and Countermeasure mechanism. The modified GP-02 turret platform that allows for 360-degree rotation within 0.3 seconds and precision tracking creates the basis for the [Tri-Phase Laser Defense Facility].

The cannon includes a Primary Discharge Capacitor and three secondary capacitors. Once the firing procedure commences, the continually charging secondary capacitors sequentially discharge their stored energies to the primary capacitor. This sequential three-phase release of energies prevents overloading the Primary Discharge Capacitor and gives the laser its "Tri-Phase" moniker. The influx of energy into the lasing matrix causes the material to generate photons I would suggest "light", because photons can only be increased in number, but not amplified. Think of it as electrical power and electrons, you can amplify a current, but not amplify electrons which are then amplified, focused, and released in a coherent beam along the correct vector.

The platform is also equipped with three low-power tracking lasers. Once the operator locks them onto the enemy, they form a triangular path designed to keep the target in the destructive path of the primary laser beam for as long as possible, thereby greatly increasing accuracy and damage potential.

The facility is designed in a way that provides maximum speed and security. The main weapon platform is mounted in a central block. A maintenance corridor circumscribes surrounds? the weapon and doubles as a buffer in the case of an accidental explosion. The weapon controls are placed in a secure console at the end of the room and the cooling and power systems are placed in blast-proof sub-sections to avoid damage from incoming enemy fire.

"gee wiz H. Christ! I'd a-figgered th'sumbitch's goan soun' like su'm out-a Star Wars. Who'd a-figgered a big friggin' laser'd go "CLACK"! - Corporal Beau Hicks at test firing of prototype.


Edited by stewart, 29 April 2008 - 07:55 AM.


#53 dipstick

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Posted 13 May 2005 - 04:21 AM

I would recommend that you infer from the model what you will, but ensure that when the AWD is finshed, any changes needed are made :)
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#54 Astyanax

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Posted 13 May 2005 - 09:56 AM

dipstick: understood, but that already applies to all CTs, right? ;)

dan2: thanks for catching that missing "]". Also, you made a good point about photons not being amplified. They could be concentrated, but that could be redundant with "focused", imho. Building off of your suggestion, I added "monochromatic light".

Paragraph 5 needs a total overhaul to make it match with what the AWD has. As it stands, it's inconsistent with the current facility model, and imho, we should proofread it after it is rewritten. See the details in my post #51.

Text under contention is purple.

[LASER DEFENSE FACILITY]
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/[Laser Defense Facility]

As this war unfolds, it becomes has become increasingly apparent that even state-of-the-art conventional weapons are only having a limited effect against Alien technology. The recent razing of the Cheyenne Mountain NORAD Headquarters by an Alien pre-emptive strike undeniably demonstrates this conclusion. NORAD military bases are considered to be among the best-defended installations on Earth, and their headquarters had been considered a veritable fortress. This further stresses that fact that conventional defense systems are proving less and less effective against the Alien menace; should the invaders shift to a fully offensive posture, we would surely find our bases woefully deficient in defensive firepower. Fortunately, recent developments in laser technology have given us a base defense facility design that provides firepower beyond that of our original [Missile Defense Facility] design.

Having overcome recent overcharge and focus problems, the Research Division has provided us with blueprints for the construction of a laser-based Aerial Defense and Countermeasure mechanism. The modified GP-02 turret platform that allows for 360-degree rotation within 0.3 seconds and precision tracking creates the basis for the [Tri-Phase Laser Defense Facility].

The cannon includes a Primary Discharge Capacitor and three secondary capacitors. Once the firing procedure commences, the continually charging secondary capacitors sequentially discharge their stored energies to the primary capacitor. This sequential three-phase release of energies prevents overloading the Primary Discharge Capacitor and gives the laser its "Tri-Phase" moniker. The influx of energy into the lasing matrix causes the material to generate monochromatic light which is then amplified, focused, and released in a coherent beam along the correct vector.

The platform is also equipped with three low-power tracking lasers. Once the operator locks them onto the enemy, they form a triangular path designed to keep the target in the destructive path of the primary laser beam for as long as possible, thereby greatly increasing accuracy and damage potential.

The facility is designed in a way that provides maximum speed and security. The main weapon platform is mounted in a central block. A maintenance corridor circumscribes the weapon and doubles as a buffer in the case of an accidental explosion. The weapon controls are placed in a secure console at the end of the room and the cooling and power systems are placed in blast-proof sub-sections to avoid damage from incoming enemy fire.

"gee wiz H. Christ! I'd a-figgered th'sumbitch's goan soun' like su'm out-a Star Wars. Who'd a-figgered a big friggin' laser'd go "CLACK"! - Corporal Beau Hicks at test firing of prototype.


Edited by stewart, 29 April 2008 - 07:55 AM.

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#55 dan2

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Posted 13 May 2005 - 10:03 AM

Hi, Asty.
I'm not sure, is it "design" supposed to be included in brackets in
[Missile Defense Facility design]?

I think
[Missile Defense Facility] design
would be better :unsure:

#56 Astyanax

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Posted 13 May 2005 - 10:11 AM

Er, oops. That was careless, careless of me. :OhBrother:

Thanks, dan2, I've edited the post.

Edited by Astyanax, 13 May 2005 - 10:13 AM.

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#57 dan2

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Posted 13 May 2005 - 10:14 AM

Er, oops.  Careless, careless. :OhBrother:

Thanks, dan2, I've edited the post.

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Yeiiii!!!! I'm helpful :)
Now, how about that laser rifle, what do you think of those changes?

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Posted 15 May 2005 - 12:55 AM

This is looking good, any issue I can be of assistance with? sorry but I've been reading through a lot and I'm tired, this seems finished, or am I missing something?

#59 dan2

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Posted 15 May 2005 - 09:04 AM

This is looking good, any issue I can be of assistance with? sorry but I've been reading through a lot and I'm tired, this seems finished, or am I missing something?

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There's still some purple text to remake.
And I would wait for a day or two till tzuchan have the final thought about the the lasing core technology, so all laser texts will be adjusted to fit to the same story.

#60 Astyanax

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Posted 15 May 2005 - 09:42 AM

Yeah, we want to keep the cores consistent. :) Unfortunately, I haven't seen tzuchan around lately, not since I zealously dogged him about the proofreading taskforce. :(

To clarify on the purple text: paragraph 5 does not reflect what the AWD model looks like, and I/we haven't been able to write up a revised version for it yet. The points that should be mentioned are in post #51 of this thread, but I'm awaiting a reply to a PM regarding the location of the "lift to the lower level" and the "main lift".

Edited by Astyanax, 15 May 2005 - 09:42 AM.

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#61 dan2

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Posted 15 May 2005 - 11:14 AM

Yeah, we want to keep the cores consistent. :)  Unfortunately, I haven't seen tzuchan around lately, not since I zealously dogged him about the proofreading taskforce. :(

Hmmm, Azrael already closed the "Laser Cannon" topic, that already includes a diamond laser core. I hope it will be open it again if when we'll agree on the laser core, the technology will be different still

P.S. Oh, yeah, I have a request, if possible. I don't know how much I helped till now, but if you think it was valuable, could you change my color to green? I understand it will not involve any increased access or rights(I have plenty already :) ), it's just that pink it's not my color, you know

Edited by dan2, 15 May 2005 - 12:42 PM.


#62 Astyanax

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Posted 16 May 2005 - 06:23 PM

Oh, but dan2, you look so good in pink! :pink:

:JK: (Cryptically) We'll see about your greenness... :Leek:


A few new things.

Az reopened the Laser Cannon CT. :)

I've heard back from Vaaish, and the so-called "main lift" is the Base Access Lift, so that's not relevant to this text. The "lift to the lower level" is in the wall on the right hand side of the model, in the cannon room.

The "CLACK" in the fluff might be inconsistent with the SND audio. I can't verify this at the moment, though. I've highlighted it in purple for the time being.

I've rewritten paragraph 5 and made a few other minor alterations to address AWD concerns. Changes are in blue, text under contention in purple.

[LASER DEFENSE FACILITY]
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/[Laser Defense Facility]

As this war unfolds, it becomes has become increasingly apparent that even state-of-the-art conventional weapons are only having a limited effect against Alien technology. The recent razing of the Cheyenne Mountain NORAD Headquarters by an Alien pre-emptive strike undeniably demonstrates this conclusion. NORAD military bases are considered to be among the best-defended installations on Earth, and their headquarters had been considered a veritable fortress. This further stresses that fact that conventional defense systems are proving less and less effective against the Alien menace; should the invaders shift to a fully offensive posture, we would surely find our bases woefully deficient in defensive firepower. Fortunately, recent developments in laser technology have given us a base defense facility design that provides firepower beyond that of our original [Missile Defense Facility] design.

Having overcome recent overcharge and focus problems, the Research Division has provided us with blueprints for the construction of a laser-based Aerial Defense and Countermeasure mechanism. Double laser cannons mounted upon a modified GP-02 turret platform allow full 360-degree rotation within 0.3 seconds and precision tracking, creating the basis for the [Tri-Phase Laser Defense Facility].

The [Tri-Phase Laser Defense Facility]'s dual cannons are each powered by a single Primary Discharge Capacitor and three secondary capacitors. Once the firing procedure commences, the continually charging secondary capacitors sequentially discharge their stored energies to the primary capacitor. This sequential three-phase release of energies prevents overloading the Primary Discharge Capacitor and gives the laser its "Tri-Phase" moniker. The influx of energy into the lasing matrix causes the material to generate monochromatic light which is then amplified, focused, and released as twin beams along the correct vector.

The platform is also equipped with three low-power tracking lasers. Once the operator locks them onto the enemy, they form a triangular path designed to keep the target in the destructive path of the primary laser beams for as long as possible, thereby greatly increasing accuracy and damage potential.

This two-story facility was designed to provide maximum speed and security.  The shielded command room lies on one end of the ground floor, and its reinforced walls offer some security for its occupants.  The main weapon platform and laser turret rest on one side of the central foundation, confined within its own blast-proof enclosure opposite that of the command room: a safety precaution in case they come under attack from hostile aircraft.  A small corridor separating these two rooms doubles as a supply area and buffer zone in case the cannon room is breached.  The basement houses the weapons' foundation and heavy machinery- the generators, cooling equipment, and targeting computers- and a lift along the outer wall provides access to the cannon room on the floor above.

"gee wiz H. Christ! I'd a-figgered th'sumbitch's goan soun' like su'm out-a Star Wars. Who'd a-figgered a big friggin' laser'd go"CLACK"! - Corporal Beau Hicks at test firing of prototype.

I just whipped together paragraph 5; it's still pretty rough, but it covers everything it needs to, imho. The other changes derived from the AWD model having two cannons, not one. Proofread it to death, guys. :P

Edited by stewart, 29 April 2008 - 07:53 AM.

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#63 dan2

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Posted 16 May 2005 - 07:56 PM

"Red"-deletions, "green"-additions, "blue"-comments or suggestions

[LASER DEFENSE FACILITY]
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/[Laser Defense Facility]

As this war unfolds, it becomes has become increasingly apparent that even state-of-the-art conventional weapons are only having if at all, a limited effect against Alien technology. The recent razing of the Cheyenne Mountain NORAD Headquarters by an Alien pre-emptive strike undeniably demonstrates this conclusion. NORAD military bases are considered to be among the best-defended installations on Earth, and their headquarters had been considered a veritable fortress. This further stresses that the fact that conventional defense systems are proving less and less effective against the Alien menace; should the invaders shift to a fully offensive posture, we would surely find our bases woefully deficient in defensive firepower. Fortunately, recent developments advances in laser technology have given us a base defense facility design that provides firepower beyond that of our original [Missile Defense Facility] design. The last phrase doesn't sound quite great.

Having overcome recent inherent overcharge and focus problems, the Research Division has provided us with blueprints for the construction of a laser-based Aerial Defense and Countermeasure mechanism. Double laser cannons mounted upon a modified GP-02 turret platform allow full 360-degree rotation within 0.3 seconds and precision tracking, creating the basis for the [Tri-Phase Laser Defense Facility].

The [Tri-Phase Laser Defense Facility]'s dual cannons are each powered by a single Primary Discharge Capacitor and three secondary capacitors. Once the firing procedure commences, the continually charging secondary capacitors sequentially discharge their stored energies to the primary capacitor. This sequential three-phase release of energies prevents overloading the Primary Discharge Capacitor and gives the laser its "Tri-Phase" moniker. The influx of energy into the lasing matrix causes the material to generate monochromatic light which is then amplified, focused, concentrated and released as twin beams along the correct vector.

The platform is also equipped with three low-power tracking lasers. Once the operator locks them onto the enemy, they form a triangular path designed to keep the target in the destructive path of the primary laser beams for as long as possible, thereby greatly increasing accuracy and damage potential.

This two-story facility was designed to provide maximum speed and security.  The shielded command room lies on one end of the ground floor, and its reinforced walls offer some security for its occupants.  The main weapon platform and laser turret rest on one side of the central foundation, confined within its own blast-proof enclosure opposite that of the command room: a safety precaution in case they come under attack from hostile aircraft.  A small corridor separating these two rooms doubles as a supply area and buffer zone in case the cannon room is breached.  The basement houses the weapons' foundation and heavy machinery- the power generators, cooling equipment, and targeting computers- and a lift along the outer wall provides access to the cannon room on the floor above.

"gee wiz H. Christ! I'd a-figgered th'sumbitch's goan soun' like su'm out-a Star Wars. Who'd a-figgered a big friggin' laser'd go "CLACK"! - Corporal Beau Hicks at test firing of prototype.

I guess the "Clack" comes from the trigger itself, but a not very smart corporal would say it's coming from the laser!?
The 4th paragraph is about lasers helping lasers shoot? Well, if they're able to keep the tracking lasers on target, aren't they able to do the same thing already with the big lasers? I know, you'll say it's easier for target visualization, but isn't a huge laser better for this already? Plus, any defense facility can and probably use lasers for targeting, what's so special about this one? I'm not sure if the accuracy increase can come only from this.
If you think this paragraph should stay (even in a modified form) am I allowed to use the idea for the "Missile Defense Facility"?
I know, it's not nice to criticize, I'll try to offer solutions instead (if I can think of any)

#64 Astyanax

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Posted 17 May 2005 - 11:16 AM

Good catches, dan2! Ironically, some of the duplications were corrections I had previously made but accidentally reincorporated... :Blush:

I don't know about the tracking lasers... maybe the targeting lasers are constant beams while the actual defense lasers are pulses (that would be consistent with the other laser weapons). Hm, I'll clarify that in the text.

I can't see why you couldn't use the idea in your Missile Defense Facility CT... after all, we certainly couldn't complain about consistency. :P

I guess we'll ask for new fluff contributions later. We've already had one comment that it may be difficult to understand by non-Americans.

Next version. Some suggestions were retained, others were not (I'm being lazy and not explaining things- if you have questions, I'll be happy to elaborate on them). Changes in blue, text under contention in purple.

[LASER DEFENSE FACILITY]
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/[Laser Defense Facility]

As this war unfolds, it has become increasingly apparent that even state-of-the-art conventional weapons are only having a limited effect against Alien technology. The recent razing of the Cheyenne Mountain NORAD Headquarters by an Alien pre-emptive strike undeniably demonstrates this conclusion. NORAD military bases are considered to be among the best-defended installations on Earth, and their headquarters had been considered a veritable fortress. This further stresses the fact that conventional defense systems are proving less and less effective against the Alien menace; should the invaders shift to a fully offensive posture, we would surely find our bases woefully deficient in defensive firepower. Fortunately, recent developments in laser technology have given us a base defense facility more effective than/that affords greater protection than our previous [Missile Defense Facility].

Having overcome recent overcharge and focus problems, the Research Division has provided us with blueprints for the construction of a laser-based Aerial Defense and Countermeasure mechanism. Double laser cannons mounted upon a modified GP-02 turret platform allow full 360-degree rotation within 0.3 seconds and precision tracking, creating the basis for the [Tri-Phase Laser Defense Facility].

The [Tri-Phase Laser Defense Facility]'s dual cannons are each powered by a single Primary Discharge Capacitor and three secondary capacitors. Once the firing procedure commences, the continually charging secondary capacitors sequentially discharge their stored energies to the primary capacitor. This sequential three-phase release of energies prevents overloading the Primary Discharge Capacitor and gives the laser its "Tri-Phase" moniker. The influx of energy into the lasing matrix causes the material to generate monochromatic light which is then concentrated and released as twin beams along the correct vector.

The platform is also equipped with three low-power tracking lasers. Once the operator locks them onto the enemy, they form a triangular path designed to keep the target in the destructive path of the primary laser beams for as long as possible, thereby greatly increasing accuracy and damage potential.

This two-story facility was designed to provide maximum speed and security.? The shielded command room lies on one end of the ground floor, and its reinforced walls offer some security for its occupants.? The main weapon platform and laser turret rest on one side of the central foundation, confined within its own blast-proof enclosure opposite that of the command room: a safety precaution in case they come under attack from hostile aircraft.? A small corridor separating these two rooms doubles as a supply area and buffer zone in case the cannon room is breached.? The basement houses the weapons' foundation and heavy machinery- the power generators, cooling equipment, and targeting computers- and a lift along the outer wall provides access to the cannon room on the floor above.

"gee wiz H. Christ! I'd a-figgered th'sumbitch's goan soun' like su'm out-a Star Wars. Who'd a-figgered a big friggin' laser'd go "CLACK"! - Corporal Beau Hicks at test firing of prototype.


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#65 dan2

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Posted 22 May 2005 - 11:04 PM

I don't know why "than/that" was used. "Than" wouldn't fit well, I think. I vote for pure "that".
Indeed, the text in purple is hard to understand, maybe the same idea, but more readable!?
I see you incorporated some of my suggestions, thank you for considering them. I'll try to stop suggesting again those that you didn't like (I'm saying this because I sometimes forget they were not accepted and I propose them again, for some odd reason)

#66 Astyanax

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Posted 23 May 2005 - 02:49 PM

I don't know why "than/that" was used. "Than" wouldn't fit well, I think. I vote for pure "that".

You're right. I've changed it to "that", but modified the sentence slightly as well.

Indeed, the text in purple is hard to understand, maybe the same idea, but more readable!?

Well, part of the point is the strong accent, but yeah, it can be difficult to parse. We could solicit alternate ideas for fluff...

I'll try to stop suggesting again those that you didn't like (I'm saying this because I sometimes forget they were not accepted and I propose them again, for some odd reason)

Trust me, I can very much relate. I sometimes forget I've mentioned something before and suggest each time I look at the text... :Blush:

After looking at it again, I think you're right; the tracking lasers seem rather extraenous... maybe they assist the computer targeting system adjust the focusing lenses of the main lasers to direct the beams to their target?

Changes in blue, text under contention in purple.

[LASER DEFENSE FACILITY]
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/[Laser Defense Facility]

As this war unfolds, it has become increasingly apparent that even state-of-the-art conventional weapons are only having a limited effect against Alien technology. The recent razing of the Cheyenne Mountain NORAD Headquarters by an Alien pre-emptive strike undeniably demonstrates this conclusion. NORAD military bases are considered to be among the best-defended installations on Earth, and their headquarters had been considered a veritable fortress. This further stresses the fact that conventional defense systems are proving less and less effective against the Alien menace; should the invaders shift to a fully offensive posture, we would surely find our bases woefully deficient in defensive firepower. Fortunately, recent developments in laser technology have given us a more effective base defense facility that offers greater protection than our previous [Missile Defense Facility].

Having overcome recent overcharge and focus problems, the Research Division has provided us with blueprints for the construction of a laser-based Aerial Defense and Countermeasure mechanism. Double laser cannons mounted upon a modified GP-02 turret platform allow full 360-degree rotation within 0.3 seconds and precision tracking, creating the basis for the [Tri-Phase Laser Defense Facility].

The [Tri-Phase Laser Defense Facility]'s dual cannons are each powered by a single Primary Discharge Capacitor and three secondary capacitors. Once the firing procedure commences, the continually charging secondary capacitors sequentially discharge their stored energies to the primary capacitor. This sequential three-phase release of energies prevents overloading the Primary Discharge Capacitor and gives the laser its "Tri-Phase" moniker. The influx of energy into the lasing matrix causes the material to generate monochromatic light which is then concentrated and released as twin beams along the correct vector.

The platform is also equipped with three constant low-power tracking lasers. Once the operator locks them onto the enemy, they form a triangular path designed to keep the target in the destructive path of the primary laser beams for as long as possible, thereby greatly increasing accuracy and damage potential.

This two-story facility was designed to provide maximum speed and security.  The shielded command room lies on one end of the ground floor, and its reinforced walls offer some security for its occupants.  The main weapon platform and laser turret rest on one side of the central foundation, confined within its own blast-proof enclosure opposite that of the command room: a safety precaution in case they come under attack from hostile aircraft.  A small corridor separating these two rooms doubles as a supply area and buffer zone in case the cannon room is breached.  The basement houses the weapons' foundation and heavy machinery- the power generators, cooling equipment, and targeting computers- and a lift along the outer wall provides access to the cannon room on the floor above.

"gee wiz H. Christ! I'd a-figgered th'sumbitch's goan soun' like su'm out-a Star Wars. Who'd a-figgered a big friggin' laser'd go "CLACK"! - Corporal Beau Hicks at test firing of prototype.


Edited by stewart, 29 April 2008 - 07:50 AM.

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#67 dan2

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Posted 23 May 2005 - 03:57 PM

After looking at it again, I think you're right; the tracking lasers seem rather extraenous... maybe they assist the computer targeting system adjust the focusing lenses of the main lasers to direct the beams to their target?

On a second thought, you're right, they're useful if they're continous, they can improve accuracy. I'll try to put something similar in the "Missile Defense Facility".
The text looks impecable, just some more readable fluff and it's done.
Oh, btw "extraneous" :D

#68 Astyanax

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Posted 23 May 2005 - 04:03 PM

Bah, typo. By the way: "continuous" and "impeccable". :Tomato:

Silliness aside :naughty:, I'll edit in "constant" to describe the tracking lasers.

Edited by Astyanax, 23 May 2005 - 04:04 PM.

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#69 dan2

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Posted 23 May 2005 - 04:11 PM

Bah, typo.  By the way: "continuous" and "impeccable". :Tomato:

Silliness aside :naughty:, I'll edit in "constant" to describe the tracking lasers.

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Actually I'm not sorry you said it, only now I realized it is "impeccable". Why two "c"s, beats me, but this is the way it is written. The real reason I'm here (to learn more) already have its fruits :D
Thanks

#70 Astyanax

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Posted 24 May 2005 - 01:09 PM

You're very welcome, dan2. :Tomato:

I think we're all experiencing the fruits of our labors (in improved writing skills) here in the CTDs. :)
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#71 Mad

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Posted 23 March 2006 - 08:45 AM

You're very welcome, dan2. :Tomato:

I think we're all experiencing the fruits of our labors (in improved writing skills) here in the CTDs. :)

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What's the status of this CT? Is the proofreading done?
Keep smiling while dying

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And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

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#72 Astyanax

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Posted 05 July 2006 - 12:11 PM

I only made one minor change- at the end of paragraph 1:

Fortunately, recent developments in laser technology have given us a more effective yielded a base defense facility that offers even greater protection than our previous [Missile Defense Facility].

The only other thing that remains uncertain is the fluff... We don't know what the SND department will do for the sound effect for lasers; the stereotypical laser sound versus clacking... it's minor, but it's still a consistency issue.


[LASER DEFENSE FACILITY]
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/[Laser Defense Facility]

As this war unfolds, it has become increasingly apparent that even state-of-the-art conventional weapons are only having a limited effect against Alien technology. The recent razing of the Cheyenne Mountain NORAD Headquarters by an Alien pre-emptive strike undeniably demonstrates this conclusion. NORAD military bases are considered to be among the best-defended installations on Earth, and their headquarters had been considered a veritable fortress. This further stresses the fact that conventional defense systems are proving less and less effective against the Alien menace; should the invaders shift to a fully offensive posture, we would surely find our bases woefully deficient in defensive firepower. Fortunately, recent developments in laser technology have yielded a base defense facility that offers even greater protection than our previous [Missile Defense Facility].

Having overcome recent overcharge and focus problems, the Research Division has provided us with blueprints for the construction of a laser-based Aerial Defense and Countermeasure mechanism. Double laser cannons mounted upon a modified GP-02 turret platform allow full 360-degree rotation within 0.3 seconds and precision tracking, creating the basis for the [Tri-Phase Laser Defense Facility].

The [Tri-Phase Laser Defense Facility]'s dual cannons are each powered by a single Primary Discharge Capacitor and three secondary capacitors. Once the firing procedure commences, the continually charging secondary capacitors sequentially discharge their stored energies to the primary capacitor. This sequential three-phase release of energies prevents overloading the Primary Discharge Capacitor and gives the laser its "Tri-Phase" moniker. The influx of energy into the lasing matrix causes the material to generate monochromatic light which is then concentrated and released as twin beams along the correct vector.

The platform is also equipped with three constant low-power tracking lasers. Once the operator locks them onto the enemy, they form a triangular path designed to keep the target in the destructive path of the primary laser beams for as long as possible, thereby greatly increasing accuracy and damage potential.

This two-story facility was designed to provide maximum speed and security.? The shielded command room lies on one end of the ground floor, and its reinforced walls offer some security for its occupants.? The main weapon platform and laser turret rest on one side of the central foundation, confined within its own blast-proof enclosure opposite that of the command room: a safety precaution in case they come under attack from hostile aircraft.? A small corridor separating these two rooms doubles as a supply area and buffer zone in case the cannon room is breached.? The basement houses the weapons' foundation and heavy machinery- the power generators, cooling equipment, and targeting computers- and a lift along the outer wall provides access to the cannon room on the floor above.

"gee wiz H. Christ! I'd a-figgered th'sumbitch's goan soun' like su'm out-a Star Wars. Who'd a-figgered a big friggin' laser'd go "CLACK"! - Corporal Beau Hicks at test firing of prototype.


Edited by stewart, 29 April 2008 - 07:50 AM.

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#73 Mad

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Posted 11 March 2007 - 08:43 AM

LASER DEFENSE ARRAY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Laser Defense Array

As this war unfolds, it has become increasingly apparent that even state-of-the-art conventional weapons are only having a limited effect against Alien technology. The recent razing of the Cheyenne Mountain NORAD Headquarters by an Alien pre-emptive strike undeniably demonstrates this conclusion. NORAD military bases are considered to be among the best-defended installations on Earth, and their headquarters had been considered a veritable fortress. This further stresses the fact that conventional defense systems are proving less and less effective against the Alien menace; should the invaders shift to a fully offensive posture, we would surely find our bases woefully deficient in defensive firepower. Fortunately, recent developments in laser technology have yielded a base defense facility that offers even greater protection than our previous Missile Defense Array.

Having overcome recent overcharge and focus problems, the Research Division has provided us with consistency: we are able to provide blueprints for the construction of a laser-based Aerial Defense and Countermeasure mechanism. Double laser cannons mounted upon a modified GP-02 turret platform allow full 360-degree rotation within 0.3 seconds and precision tracking, creating the basis for the Tri-Phase Laser Defense Array.

The Tri-Phase Laser Defense Array's dual cannons are each powered by a single Primary Discharge Capacitor and three secondary capacitors. Once the firing procedure commences, the continually charging secondary capacitors sequentially discharge their stored energies to the primary capacitor. This sequential three-phase release of energies prevents overloading the Primary Discharge Capacitor and gives the laser its "Tri-Phase" moniker. The influx of energy into the lasing matrix causes the material to generate monochromatic light which is then concentrated and released as twin beams along the correct vector.

The platform is also equipped with three constant low-power tracking lasers. Once the operator locks them onto the enemy, they form a triangular path designed to keep the target in the destructive path of the primary laser beams for as long as possible, thereby greatly increasing accuracy and damage potential.

This two-story facility was designed to provide maximum speed and security. The shielded command room lies is situated? on one end of the ground floor, and its reinforced walls offer some security for its occupants. The main weapon platform and laser turret rest on one side of the central foundation, confined within its own a? blast-proof enclosure opposite that of the command room: a safety precaution in case they come under attack the platform draws fire? from hostile aircraft. A small corridor separating these two rooms doubles as a supply area and buffer zone in case the cannon room is breached. The basement houses the weapons' foundation and heavy machinery- the power generators, cooling equipment, and targeting computers- and a lift along the outer wall provides access to the cannon room on the floor above.

"gee wiz H. Christ! I'd a-figgered th'sumbitch's goan soun' like su'm out-a Star Wars. Who'd a-figgered a big friggin' laser'd go "CLACK"! - Corporal Beau Hicks at test firing of prototype.


Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image

#74 Astyanax

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Posted 28 April 2007 - 10:39 PM

Hey Mad, here's the next draft after rolling in most of your suggestions.
- I modified paragraph 2' suggestion since I don't think the X-Corps is providing blueprints to anyone else...
- I blended the 2 suggestions in paragraph 5

LASER DEFENSE ARRAY
X-Net://Pegasus.net/Base/Facilities/Laser Defense Array

As this war unfolds, it has become increasingly apparent that even state-of-the-art conventional weapons are only having a limited effect against Alien technology. The recent razing of the Cheyenne Mountain NORAD Headquarters by an Alien pre-emptive strike undeniably demonstrates this conclusion. NORAD military bases are considered to be among the best-defended installations on Earth, and their headquarters had been considered a veritable fortress. This further stresses the fact that conventional defense systems are proving less and less effective against the Alien menace; should the invaders shift to a fully offensive posture, we would surely find our bases woefully deficient in defensive firepower. Fortunately, recent developments in laser technology have yielded a base defense facility that offers even greater protection than our previous Missile Defense Array.

Having overcome recent overcharge and focus problems, we have completed blueprints for the construction of a laser-based Aerial Defense and Countermeasure mechanism. Double laser cannons mounted upon a modified GP-02 turret platform allow full 360-degree rotation within 0.3 seconds and precision tracking, creating the basis for the Tri-Phase Laser Defense Array.

The Tri-Phase Laser Defense Array's dual cannons are each powered by a single Primary Discharge Capacitor and three secondary capacitors. Once the firing procedure commences, the continually charging secondary capacitors sequentially discharge their stored energies to the primary capacitor. This sequential three-phase release of energies prevents overloading the Primary Discharge Capacitor and gives the laser its "Tri-Phase" moniker. The influx of energy into the lasing matrix causes the material to generate monochromatic light which is then concentrated and released as twin beams along the correct vector.

The platform is also equipped with three constant low-power tracking lasers. Once the operator locks them onto the enemy, they form a triangular path designed to keep the target in the destructive path of the primary laser beams for as long as possible, thereby greatly increasing accuracy and damage potential.

This two-story facility was designed to provide maximum speed and security. The shielded command room is situated on one end of the ground floor, and its reinforced walls offer some security for its occupants. The main weapon platform and laser turret rest on one side of the central foundation, confined within a blast-proof enclosure opposite that of the command room: a safety precaution in case the platform comes under attack from hostile aircraft. A small corridor separating these two rooms doubles as a supply area and buffer zone in case the cannon room is breached. The basement houses the weapons' foundation and heavy machinery- the power generators, cooling equipment, and targeting computers- and a lift along the outer wall provides access to the cannon room on the floor above.

"gee wiz H. Christ! I'd a-figgered th'sumbitch's goan soun' like su'm out-a Star Wars. Who'd a-figgered a big friggin' laser'd go "CLACK"! - Corporal Beau Hicks at test firing of prototype.


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#75 Mad

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Posted 29 April 2007 - 03:09 AM

Given the fact that this is Proofreading and not Active I think this CT is alright the way it is (I would have one or two suggestions, but... nah... ;) )
Anyone else with constructive comments?
Keep smiling while dying

Of course I have gone mad with power! It would be completely ridiculous to go mad without power!
And no, this is not a quote from the Simpson's movie, I want it on paper, that I actually wrote that quite some time before the movie came out.

Posted Image