Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer!

[LambdaTeam]

Welcome to ALL X-com fans!

 

We all know that X-com is a fantastic series of games, playing each game will surely entertain us for a while - maybe forever. This is how I feel, although I've only completed X-com 1 and 2 yet. All these games are truly unique, exciting, and I'm pretty sure everyone enjoys playing with'em. Of course, there is no such thing as a perfect game, all of the series has several bugs and quirks, which can be really annoying, but in the meantime, they also can be extremely funny. Following Micah's advice, I ended up in this particular forum to have a little...um....FUN with you!

 

To play this game, you need to ask a stupid question (or perhaps a very thoughtful question) regarding the game, while answering the previous question, which has been asked by another forum member. You can also give more answers to a question. Here is an example for you:

 

Question: Why is the organization called X-com?

Answer: Because if it would be named "T-com", the real T-com would sue them, and the player would have absolutely no money at the start.

 

Question: Are the Sectoids the same with the grey "reticulumian" aliens?

Answer: Not really, they're Paris Hilton's step children.

 

Question: Why is the kneeling down useful anyways?

Answer: The soldier might have dropped a quarter, so by kneeling, he can retrieve it, and since it was his lucky quarter, it will ensure longer life for him.

 

Got my point? Great! Then let's get started!!!

 

Question: Why don't the Stun bombs explode upon throwing? Why is it compulsory to use a launcher?

[Andy]

Why don't the Stun bombs explode upon throwing?

because then it'll be called stun grenades.

 

 

Why is it compulsory to use a launcher?

because aquatoids can't throw for beans with their puny arms.

[chiasaur11]

Because otherwise the scientists would feel that figuring out the launcher was a waste of time, and making scientists all depressed feels like kicking a puppy.

 

Why does X-Com pay so much?

[LambdaTeam]

Answer: Because the founder of the X-com had a very rich uncle, who strictly demanded in his will that his inheritance should be spent on a war against extraterrestial invaders, if they ever gonna attack our planet. After E.T. went home, he wanted to give Elliot a call - unfortunately, E.T. confused the digits "6" and "9", and thus accidentally called this very rich uncle, and told him about his friends at Mars will try to conquer humankind.

 

Questions: If the entire world was in great danger, why don't Superman, Batman, or the Powerpuff Girls take care of the invading aliens, why do we need X-com anyways?

[Andy]

Answer: Xcom personnel are a great source of cannon fodder material.

 

Q: Why don't the alien force also recruit/enlist lobsterwomen and gillwomen into the fighting force?

[[NKF]]

Pride - and they worry that the ladies may prove to be better at the job.

 

Q: How do the Sectoids tell which is the front or back of a Cyberdisc?

 

- NKF

[LambdaTeam]

Answer: They toss the Cyberdiscs like a quarter, and the Cyberdisc falls down, it gets a boo-boo. This'll make it angry, and it will shoot at the Sectoids. Surely the Cyberdisc will take out some of the Sectoids, but eventually one of them will have enough Time Units to hide, AND memorize which part of the Cyberdisc is the front.

 

Question: Why don't the Aliens suffer fatal wounds too?

[Andy]

Answer: Orange

 

Question: How many Biodromes does it take to screw in a light bulb? (hint: try to picture it)

[LambdaTeam]

Answer: It takes at least 50, so they can form a message "SEND A MECHANIC!"

 

Question: If the Sectopod is a two-legged robot, what's that gooey green stuff that comes out of its "cockpit" when destroyed?

[[NKF]]

Brains - or what passes for them in the alien world. Similar to micronoids. Refer to Robocop's Enforcer Droid, and swap the brain with gooey green stuff that the ethereals can control. Sentience optional - so no psychotic outbursts.

 

Q: Don't sectoids get cold?

 

- NKF

Edited July 2, 2010 by NKF

[LambdaTeam]

Answer: Yes, they get cold, since their body is so skinny, the wind blows through them, and they can't mind-control the air to make it warmer. This is why their death-scream is so "shattered". Sectoids would make awesome kites indeed.

 

Question: How can my soldiers survive at the Mars mission without a space suit?

[MiniMacker]

Answer : Because you don't need a spacesuit to survive on a Snickers mission.

 

 

Question : Why didn't we just nuke Cydonia?

Edited July 2, 2010 by MiniMacker

[Eledhel]

A: Because Bruce Willis has already died delivering a nuke to a meteor and was unavailable to nuke Cydonia.

 

Q: How long would you have to bake the snakeman eggs in order to get a nice omelet?

Edited July 2, 2010 by Eledhel

[LambdaTeam]

Answer: It depends. An average Snakeman has at least 50-60 eggs, so it'd take a couple of hours (and a huge bag of spices too), but eventually, you'd have a nice, tasty-looking green omlette!

Putting snakeman eggs into microwave oven appears to be a bad idea. A civilian unit tried this once at Karachi - and all the eggs hatched! The Snakemen quickly invaded Karachi, and the civilians called for X-com. From now on, cooking snakemen eggs in microwave oven is stricly prohibited, unless you want a VERY OWN Snakeman army for yourself

 

Question: If the aliens need the Earth's fauna and flora (even humankind), why would they want to destroy humanity, the animals and the plants? This would mean their end too!

[Andy]

A: because the aliens are sick and tired of playing xcom on their supercomputers so they re-enact the whole thing (and lose).

 

Q: Does the Avenger have a reverse gear?

[LambdaTeam]

Answer: Unfortunately no. X-com uses specially trained oxes and donkeys to tug the Avenger back to the hangar. Ummm, they don't appear at the "Sell" list, because these are invisible oxes from another dimension, yea.

 

Question: Why can't I use my transport craft's weapons (Avenger, Hammerhead etc.) to make a sweep through the area before letting the soldiers out?

[Andy]

A: because I beat you to the weapons controls. To be fair, you can park the avenger when we get back to base without using those specially trained dimensional oxes and donkeys.

 

Q: Why don't thermal tazers have a "kill" setting?

[chiasaur11]

Answer: They do. It's called a grenade.

 

Question: Why can't you use lasers in Terror from the Deep?

[[NKF]]

Because they'd refract too much in water, effectively giving you laser shotguns. Close range combat is unheard of! (at least, that's what they thought until the very first sortie). Rather than risk shooting your comrade directly behind you, dinky darts and harpoons were chosen instead. At least with them, you'd have a rough idea where would go when fired.

 

Q: Why don't the aliens in TFTD know how to use their own drills?

 

- NKF

[LambdaTeam]

Answer: Yep, that was a good question Well, the answer is pretty simple. When the Alien Weapons Manufacturing Ltd. created these Vibro blades and Thermic lances, they forgot to put an "ON" button on them. This is why you can't research these close combat weapons just yet - they simply won't function, as you can't turn them on. Scientists need a LOT of time to invent a trigger button, you know!

 

Question: It is stated that the Celatid can find its target easily, even if he is hiding well. How come the Celatids will hardly attack anything and just float around like a balloon then?

[Eledhel]

A: Because most Celatids are in fact pacifists, they are drafted to serve in the Alien Horde but really don't want to hurt anyone. It is speculated that their religion forbids the use of deadly force against other living creatures but conversations on this subject with captured specimens are extremely difficult. The theory has an additional flaw since it fails to explain the lack of attacks on the robotic tanks of X-Com.

 

Q: Why won't thermic lances breach even the weakest coral or walls but completely obliterate any alien you stick them in?

Edited July 4, 2010 by Eledhel

[Andy]

A: Because they're environmentally friendly.

 

Q: Why did the aquatoid cross the road?

[LambdaTeam]

Answer: Aquatoids were never been on dry land so far. A road is something which they really want to know each other with.

 

Or perhaps there is free birdseed at the other side. The Ultimate Dreamer likes free birdseed. Yum yum!

 

Question: Why are Tentaculants are attacking underwater tanks, even if they know pretty well that they cannot be mutated?

[Andy]

A: Tentaculats commonly mistaken tanks for cans of cat food.

 

Q: Why do tentaculats like cat food?

[[NKF]]

To make up for what they lack. They're all brain, no brawn. And convenience stores aren't particularly prolific when you're ten thousand leagues under the sea.

 

Q: Megaspawn fire dimension missiles and devestator beams. Are the missiles fired from their fingers, or toes?

 

- NKF

[chiasaur11]

A: Trust me. You don't want to know.

 

Q: Why does X-Com use weapons less effective than harsh language at the beginning of Terror from the Deep?

[LambdaTeam]

Answer: It's a deliberate trap from the aliens! They have invaded the REAL weapons market, and cleverly disguised a toy shop as a weapons market. By the time the player invents Gauss and Sonic weaponry, he'll see through the deception. Um...the real weapons have been converted into Aqua plastics to build the aliens submarines from. And the Elerium...well...Elerium is really soft, and tastes like sugar. The X-com general manager is such a fatso, he ate all remaining Elerium after the first alien war.

 

Question: When I pick up Elerium in an UFO, it's only a tiny little piece of stone. It's smaller than a pistol! How can it be 50 then???

[Andy]

A: It's measured in carats, like diamonds.

 

Q: If you pick up elerium, will you die from radiation?

[Andy]

A: Yes, you can die from radiation, but elerium only emits a scent of onions, not radiation.

 

Q: Are scientists and engineers unionized?

[LambdaTeam]

Answer: Yes they are! Moreover, every scientist and technician is totally the same, they usually mix up their suits and underpants as well, so there is no point in giving them names - every other scientist and technician will immediately change their name too! Looks like the Market invented cloning LOOOOONG before Aliens started to invade Earth.

 

Question: What happens with the UFOs that are shot into the sea (in UFO defense)?

[Andy]

A: They form missions for Terror from the Deep.

 

Q: What's the purpose of the synomium device?

[[NKF]]

Like the command tables back in the first alien war (used for card games), it has no practical value beyond being purely decorative, and keeps up the spirits of the head of the colony. The loss of it causes the colony head to be so depressed that the colony is disbanded and they drift on.

 

It's assumed that the the two spining rings on each device are probably power rings stolen from some other universe involving a hyperactive blue hedgehog (with intense robot phobia) via interdimensional travel, time travel and superfluous use of plot devices.

 

Q: Beyond losing the use of the facilities, equipment and all personnel, why doesn't X-COM get an area activity penalty for unconditional surrender of a base in the first two alien wars?

 

- NKF

[Eledhel]

A: Because X-Com is such a secret organisation that even the funding nations have no clue as to the whereabouts of the bases! Since the only way they can see that a base is destroyed is in the monthly maintenance costs they have no way of knowing if it was valiantly defended or if every last thing was transferred and sold before the ship landed. And since they are just bureaucrats they will never do anything unless proof is supplied in triplicate of the abandonment of the base. Thus no score penalty is incurred.

 

Q: Why do missions don't take any game time? I can raid an alien artefact site in about 5 sec according to the geoscape timer.

[LambdaTeam]

Answer: It's because of the awesome power of the Symonium devices! Their purpose is to quickly stop time every time the aliens get attacked by someone, and then divide time into Time Units! This is very useful for X-com soldiers too, as they really don't want to miss their favourite TV show just because some damn terror mission.

 

Question: It's stated in the UFOpedia that Tasoths are intrepid, ruthless warriors and will never run away. Then why they start to panick and go berserk first among ALL alien races?

[[NKF]]

A: They've cracked under the pressure of the enormously high expectation placed on them. Being alien, I'm sure this expectation is probably much higher then any of us can conceivably imagine.

 

Of course the more plausible explanation is that the scientist that wrote the report is just over-embellishing the facts a bit so that the stakeholders will offer more funding to combat this utterly horrible alien menace. To illustrate one such example of embellishment, refer to the live specimen photograph of the Deep One.

 

Q: Since X-COM soldiers frequently find dissected cattle in downed harvester UFOs, are the aliens really just using the sinister underhanded politics and their invasion as a cover for running a fast food chain?

 

- NKF

Edited July 7, 2010 by NKF

[LambdaTeam]

Answer: The truth is, Aliens kidnap bovine to brainwash them, and use them as brave soldiers against humankind, who'll NEVER ever run away!!! The Aliens keep kidnapping poor cattles, then comes the brainwash, and after that - the drill! Each cattle will learn fighting, the usage of plazma weapons, grenades, even blaster launchers! If you keep playing for 100 years, the new alien race - Moo Men - will start to appear. They're extremely angry at humankind, for being turned into hamburgers, and...and...NOW is the time for revenge!!! All hail to the Cattle Empire!!!

 

Question: Why can't I give alien food to my soldiers, not even after I researched it?